Supernova
by Angelbaby1231
Summary: Sequel to Seraphim. Nova Maddox works under Tony Stark as a biomechanical engineer. She's also a Legacy. James Barnes doesn't know what he is, but he's sure that Nova is the only one in the Tower who's capable of fixing his arm. A little oblivious and super mouthy, Nova doesn't see a threat in James. Too bad he doesn't agree with her. It's the makings of a beautiful friendship.
1. A Beginning

**Here is the starter chapter for my new story entitled Supernova! This is the sequel to Seraphim, so if you haven't read that, you might get a little confused. I think you can read it on its own if you really want to, but you might be a little confused. Thanks to everyone who supported Seraphim and thank you to anyone who reads this story too. I hope it lives up to your expectations! Let me know what you think and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.**

For the hundredth time in a row, Nova attempted the simulation for the thrusters she was trying to design, fingers flying over the keyboard as she input updated data from the new schematics she'd just finished designing. Technically, her specialty ran more towards biomechanics and advanced robotics, but Tony had personally requested that she work on a new thruster design for the Ironman suit. She'd reluctantly agreed after hours of Tony badgering her. Given his propensity for focusing on style instead of common sense, it was possible that he was downplaying the functionality of the suits without realizing it, which was why he called her in to consult so often. Nova had already found a few repairs he could make to increase his aerodynamics and blast radius. Sometimes, it payed to skip the spinning rims.

Nova's work would have been much more interesting if he would let her fashion him a rocket launcher or connect the suit to a neural interface that could be implanted directly into the wearer's brain. Too bad Tony wasn't interested in any of that. He was interested in increasing the thrusting power, which was practically child's play compared to the work she had been doing for SHIELD before the HYDRA attack. She could finish thrusters in her sleep if she had to, which was looking more and more probable the longer she stared at the project on the screens. Without a proper cooling system in place, it was a good trick not to overheat the wires. Technically not impossible but still annoying when he wouldn't let her have artistic license.

Sighing in annoyance at the current simulation results, Nova tugged on the end of her ponytail and grabbed a lollipop out of the bowl on the corner of her desk. The Dumdums were Tony's own private joke about her family, not that Nova actually minded. Tony was practically family when it came down to it and it was kind of funny, when she was feeling charitable. Ripping off the wrapper with no more than a cursory glance at what she was sticking in her mouth, she was pleasantly surprised when the flavor burst along her tongue. Bubble gum was her favorite.

Spinning her rolling chair in a lazy circle, Nova hummed along to her music as FRIDAY ran yet another simulation with a minute change in the wiring she was attempting to update. The loud music helped her think, blocking out all the other thoughts in her head and bringing forward the helpful ones. It was a habit she'd picked up from Tony when she was little and used to sneak into his lab.

A shadow shifted in the corner of her lab and Nova threw her feet out to halt her progress, her wide eyes landing on the form of a man when she focused a little, shoving her reading glasses up to the top of her head to stare at the man who had randomly appeared. Clicking her fingers together, the lights flared bright, throwing the entire lab into stark relief. Nova gaped at the man in the corner, her shock masked by the immediate opening of her mouth.

"You know, that's hella creepy," she informed the super assassin that was currently lurking in her corner. He'd even managed to drag a chair into the space without her noticing. Honestly, she wasn't sure how she hadn't noticed the elevator come down to her level. Usually FRIDAY made sure that it made some sort of noise to warn her. And it wasn't like it was completely inconspicuous when a section of her wall randomly opened up to allow someone into her lab.

He couldn't have been there very long, she'd spun around in her chair in the exact same way less than twenty minutes ago when she'd been trying to figure out a way to tell Tony that she hated the color scheme of his suits. Tony was all about flash and not stealth, which made doing her job a hell of a lot harder than it seemed. If he'd just listen to her, she could help him make his suits undetectable. Not that he would. One of his greatest joys in life was being seen by anyone and everyone.

"Most people announce themselves when they come into a room if the other occupants don't notice right away. I know you're not really from this time, but wasn't that common place back in the day? This is creepy, even for you. Evie told me to stop calling you that the last time I talked to her, but I don't see why I should when you continue to do shit like this," Nova clarified.

The assassin just stared at her blankly, his dark blue eyes as hard as granite. Whatever he was thinking, she probably didn't want to know. It wasn't her fault that her mouth literally never stopped working. And it wasn't like she wasn't nervous around him. Look at him. He was built like a tank and gorgeous to boot. How was she not supposed to be nervous around him? That was what made it all worse.

"I mean, if you need something, you can just ask. I promise I won't bite. I've never bitten anyone. At least, not anyone I didn't know very well. I might have bitten Evie once or twice but that was to prove a point, so it doesn't count. Oh, and I bit Tony once, but he deserved it, I swear. And I was, like, eight, so that doesn't count either," Nova winced as that came out of her mouth. She probably wasn't helping her own case and, technically, this guy could kill her without a thought. She was trained, but not well enough to defeat a ninety eight year old super assassin at his own game. He could probably even dispose of her body before anyone could figure out she was even dead. That wasn't really a comforting thought… "Anyway, was there something you needed or are you just watching me work?"

Because just watching her work wasn't creepy at all. It wasn't like Nova didn't know who the guy was. In fact, she owed him a thank you for helping Evie when she was captured- again- by HYDRA. If he hadn't been there, they might not have gotten Evie back. But it was hard to remember all the good things he'd done when all the bad were at the forefront of Nova's mind now that she was alone with him. After all, she hadn't been stuck in a room with him all by herself when they'd rescued Evie. In fact, they'd never been alone in a room together. Either way, she was extremely thankful he'd taken out all of those HYDRA jackasses who had tried to hurt her best friend.

"Stark," was all he replied. Which could have meant a lot of things, honestly. Tony wasn't exactly the greatest person, even Nova admitted that, and he could be looking for Tony to kill him. Nova had wanted to murder Tony a few times and she probably wouldn't blame the guy much if he acted on that impulse. Or he could just want to ask Tony a question. Or Tony could have sent him to her, which wouldn't make sense in the least. After all, Tony and this particular assassin weren't really that close. As in, Tony kind of hated him and thought that he'd murdered his parents. Frowning, Nova puzzled through what he could possibly want with Tony, cocking her head at him and ignoring the loose strands of her hair that were falling out of her bun, brushing along her collarbone.

"I'm really sorry, but Tony isn't here. In fact, he's not even in the building at the moment. He went to Malibu. Pepper broke up with him again after fighting about the Ironman suits and he's taking a few personal days to figure things out. I don't know how he got Pepper to date him in the first place because she's amazing and he's kind of a dick most of the time, but now they're officially broken up and he's really upset about it. The whole fight was something about him using company resources on one of his suits or something. I don't really know; I only eavesdropped on the first half of the conversation. Once it gets into relationship territory, I usually bail. Anyway, he's not going to come down here anytime soon. I don't know when he's planning to come back either. It's just me and FRIDAY," Nova blurted. On second thought, she probably shouldn't have mentioned that she was all alone to the homicidal Russian assassin, but it wasn't like she could take her words back now. She knew, she'd tried before. It had taken her a long time to get used to having to filter her words and, obviously, it still wasn't something she'd mastered.

The man, James or Bucky or the Winter Soldier, whoever he was today, scowled at the news that Tony was MIA. Nova didn't blame him in the least. Tony had a way of making plans and completely blowing them off. Nova wasn't sure Tony and James actually had plans, though. If they did, why did Tony send James to her lab? If he had planned on making the appointed meeting time, he would have sent the assassin to wait in his own lab. Unless he was planning on blowing off the appointment the entire time, at which point Nova was going to leave him a particularly nasty voicemail so that he knew she wasn't impressed with his behavior.

"I could try and help you, if that's alright. Technically, I have more degrees than Tony does anyway and I'm a hell of a lot nicer. Well, I like to think I am. I'm not really sure it's the truth because Tony is actually pretty generous and generally awesome once you get to know him. He's just a sarcastic son of a bitch. I just don't know when to shut up, which some people prefer. I guess it's all about preference in the end. But most people like me because I show up to appointments, so…" Nova clamped a hand over her mouth to get herself to stop talking when James turned to her with a dark glare, loose strands of dark hair falling into his eyes and making him seem ten times scarier.

Nova could definitely see the Winter Soldier in him. All hard lines and bulging muscle, ready to attack at a moment's notice. The clench of his jaw pointed out how desperately he needed a shave and she itched to pull back his hair, even if he was in crazy killer mode. No one should have to work with hair in their eyes, even if that work was picking off targets for a living.

Sadly, James never seemed to appreciate her nonstop chatter. Then again, not many people _enjoyed_ it. They just put up with it so they didn't have to deal with the notoriously whiny Tony Stark. He had a painfully offensive way of speaking that usually put people off more than her incessant chatter.

"I don't need help," James snapped, his glare intensifying as he moved it off of her and towards one of her many lab tables. It was a good thing HYDRA didn't give him laser eyes because that would be particularly disastrous. Sure, it would definitely be ridiculously cool, but he would also activate a lot of equipment in her lab, which would be a problem with a capital P. Especially considering he had his murderous glare focused on a batch of explosive materials she was planning on smuggling out for her grandfather when she went home for Christmas. If those went up, she wasn't sure the Tower would survive. There was a reason she didn't usually let other people in her lab.

"Oooo-kay. Well, I'm working on thrusters for the Ironman suit at the moment, so, if you don't mind, I'm going to go back to that. Of course, you're welcome to stay and observe, since you seem fine doing that. Just, um, try not to touch anything, please. Not because I'm a prude or anything, but because I have enough explosive materials in here to contemplate world domination and I don't want you to get hurt. That would be bad. Though, if I ever feel like blowing up the Tower, I'll let you know so you can get out. Or help me, whichever works for you. Tony's only fixed the Tower like a hundred times, so it's not like he doesn't know how to rebuild… Oh! Yeah, shutting up now, sorry!" Nova slapped a hand over her mouth, wincing when her palm struck the stick of her lollipop. She'd been talking around it the whole time, which was incredibly rude according to her mama, but most of the time she didn't do it on purpose. Not many people bothered to visit her lab.

If Nova learned anything from seeing Natasha, though, it was that talking too much would give James more material to use against her if he felt like it. Natasha was a close friend of Evie's now, but Nova had a hard time trusting the woman. She was always gathering information on people, using it against them at the most inconvenient times. Most of Nova's relatives were deadly, yeah, but she'd become more comfortable around ex-SHIELD agents than she was around ex-Soviet assassins who had no emotional ties to her well-being. If this guy was anything like Natasha, Nova needed to keep her guard up so he wouldn't learn too much.

Glancing back at James quickly, Nova found that he was still in the corner he'd taken over. She quickly faced the screens again when he noticed she was watching and met her gaze, sending her a harsh scowl in return. Keeping her body rigid, Nova tried to figure out what he could possibly want from her. Whatever it was, he wasn't going to come out and tell her yet. If he was looking for Tony, it could be for a number of reasons. Anything to do with the Avengers was generally kept a secret from her, so going to Natasha or Steve would have been his best bet if he couldn't find Tony. Of course, the only thing that made logical sense was his prosthetic. Nova would literally kill to be able to even look at that piece of machinery. He didn't even have to let her touch it. It was a work of art and the biomechanical potential of understanding that sort of technology was honestly astronomical.

She had so many questions she wanted to ask. Was he able to feel with his prosthetic? Sense heat and cold? Did it hurt? Was it wired to his nervous system? He tended to use it just like a normal arm, but the gripping strength was obviously enhanced. How enhanced was it? How enhanced was he? He could kill a man by crushing his skull with just the fingers of his prosthetic, she'd seen it happen during the raid, but how gentle could it be? Did he have full motion control? Could he tell when he was gripping something too tightly? How did the paneling move? She could imagine what their design would be, had seen enough of the prosthetic in action to generally be able to make a rough sketch of the possible circuitry and general wiring, but to be able to study something with so many practical applications would be the highlight of her career.

If they could adapt the design and figure out how to get materials that were less rare, it was possible they could make similar structures for wounded veterans and amputees. The tech would be leaps and bounds ahead of any of the current studies going on around the world and Nova was desperate for just a peek. That sort of technology could honestly change the world. But, instead of letting that happen, James seemed almost ashamed of the mechanical miracle that HYDRA had given him. Which was a damn shame because it was beautiful. Even with the ugly Soviet star on the shoulder. That could easily be fixed though. Either by another star or simply by painting over the red with the same metallic coating as the rest of the arm had. Nova could imagine a hundred ways of fixing it, but it wouldn't due to mention that to him. He was already suspicious enough.

"Okay, FRIDAY, I'm uploading more schematics. Obviously, these aren't going to work. Rework the design for Tony's arc power and I'll see what I can do about the wiring failures," Nova mumbled around her sucker, grabbing the glasses on top of her head and dragging them down over her eyes. Being farsighted was a bitch, but at least she got the best frames that money could buy. These, a dark purple frame with large lenses, were perfect for her purposes. She only wore them when she was working anyway.

A few minutes of observation showed her the problem with the simulation and hummed under her breath as she stared at it. The rework would need to include sturdier wiring as well as a new, heat resistant coating.

Typing out various commands into her Stark tablet, Nova swung her feet idly, half spinning the chair while she attempted to figure out the proper components she needed to use. Tony's design and his pain requirements were a bitch to work around and she was going to need to think out of the box if she was going to finish this project anytime soon. Because of the aerodynamics, she'd need a small propulsion system and compact wiring that wouldn't overheat, which would probably include a fan and a filtration system for cool airflow…

Crunching on the end of her sucker, Nova pulled the stick out of her mouth and chucked it into the garbage, mind completely occupied as she searched various websites for inspiration. The original design she'd come up with definitely wasn't going to cut it, but the rework might if she could find the proper materials. It took a bit, but it wasn't completely impossible. Finding lightweight metal that would work was harder than it sounded, but she still calculated the different options, FRIDAY assisting anyway she could.

Nova wasn't a genius like Tony Stark. Her family wasn't full of inventors either. Her family was made of grunts. SHIELD specialists and military special agents, they weren't the ones that planned missions and invented weapons, they were the ones who kicked ass and took names. Nova herself was the only child in her family that had taken after her father, who had worked as a SHIELD engineer before the collapse. He was smart enough to help make some of the most deadly weapons to ever exist, but he was no Stark. The Stark family was made of ingenious inventors and Tony had gotten all of that and more. Nova had a working knowledge of Tony's tech, but that didn't mean she was anywhere near as smart as he was. That meant that she had to study hours to understand the compounds of half of his work. And that took more time than she was willing to admit before the man himself. He had a big enough ego.

"If I put a protective layer on the wires, it could be possible to resist the heat coming through the thrusters. If I push this wire over here, though, we blow up the suit. If I change even a small bit of this design here, the rest of the suit is incompatible and it goes boom. Working this design on arc power is ridiculous. Adamantium is out of the question because of the weight. Vibranium is too expensive and limited, not to mention that the world's supply was lost in Sokovia. They're still trying to get it out of their water sources. Though, if anyone can manage that, Tony can. Still, I can't just change the suit's metal structure; Tony would kill me," Nova muttered, grabbing a sketch pad and pencil, scribbling out three of the possible designs.

Tony's jet propulsion system was antiquated at this point, but enhancing it would take more than her mind would be able to come up with. Not only did she not have the proper information to even begin that overhaul, she didn't know the specifics of the rest of the suit. Tony wouldn't send her all of the designs because he was afraid to let anyone see them. Which was completely unfair considering she'd helped him design his weapons' system.

Still, he shouldn't have put her on an impossible task. Tony did theoretical, but not impossible. Well, he did send impossible equations to some of the younger recruits or people he didn't like, but Nova knew without a doubt he wouldn't do that to her. He knew exactly how much she knew about his advanced robotics and he wouldn't have given her the work if she wasn't capable of completing at least a running model of what he wanted. Technically, he could have overestimated her intelligence, but that was unlikely. He was more likely to underestimate it.

"Okay, if I reroute some of the power into this conductor, I might be able to avoid overheating the wires. But that means that this circuitry would need to be removed too and that wasn't what Tony asked for. Tony's an idiot, though, so it could be part of the problem he wants me to fix. It's completely possible he just didn't give me all the information and left me to go crazy because he thinks it's funny. FRIDAY, is Tony fucking with me?" Nova asked the AI, scribbling out an equation that was on the corner of her sketchpad. Throwing the pencil away, Nova leaned back and stared at the various computer screens, sucking in her bottom lip and chewing on it thoughtfully.

"I don't believe so, Dr. Maddox," FRIDAY answered in her slightly lilting accent, her words nowhere near as reassuring as she probably mean them to be. Tapping a finger against the notepad she'd been using, Nova cocked her head to the side, squinting to read the mathematic equations that Tony had scrawled on the corner of the specs he'd sent over.

"That's really not as reassuring as I would have hoped. Maybe he's messing with me. It would make sense and it's not like he hasn't done it before. If I can figure out what he left out of the explanation, I can finish this in a few minutes…" Nova hummed, slumping back into her seat and settling in for the long haul.


	2. Dr Nova Maddox

**Hey everybody! Thanks for all the awesome reviews, I love reading them and I'm happy everyone is excited for this story! I forgot to mention this in the first chapter, so here it goes: This story only follows canon in the MCU up until Avengers: Age of Ultron. And I elected to ignore the part where Hawkeye has a family simply because it fits better with my little universe here. Also, I own nothing. Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter!**

James eyed the weird woman at the desk in the middle of the lab, wondering how she had gotten to be friends with Evangeline in the first place. Eve was fairly quiet and knew how to use a silence to her advantage. The woman before him, her best friend Nova, talked nonstop, even when she didn't realize she was doing it. So far, she had been focused on mumbling about the idiocy of Tony Stark, which James actually agreed with in a general sense. Stark was an idiot, hence the current predicament James found himself in. If he didn't talk to the weird woman, he'd never get his arm fixed. If he wanted it fixed, he had to force the words out of his mouth and he wasn't sure about that either.

Nova seemed fairly open to his presence, something that honestly surprised him. He'd assumed she would scream when she first saw him sitting in the corner, but she'd just started talking to him like she normally did. James honestly wasn't sure if that was good news or not. While he knew Nova was Eve's friend and had seen her around the medical bay a lot before Eve's release, he wasn't particularly impressed with what he had seen of her so far. He needed more information before approaching this particular situation, hence keeping an eye on her while she worked. Whatever was pulled up on her screens he couldn't make sense of it with how fast she was reading through the equations and looking through blueprints of some kind. All he understood was that she was trying to rewire a thruster. Or something.

"FRIDAY, put in a reminder for supper tonight. Make sure there's pizza. With pepperoni… and mushrooms, tomatoes, and pineapple. Don't forget to pay out of Tony's account. He can pay for my fuel while I work on his stupid project. Honestly, I can't believe he gave me such a fucking terrible project to work on. I mean, I know he wants to test me, but aren't there other ways of doing that? Interesting ways?" Nova complained before going back to mumbling angrily to herself. James frowned at her back. If she would ever pause in her incessant chattering, she would have noticed he was there in the first place without having to spin around in her chair. It had taken almost half an hour for her to finally notice him. Taking the chair had been a test of her focus; he could have waited while standing. He'd trained as a sniper, he could stand in the same spot for days without moving a muscle waiting for a target. Yet when he'd taken the chair he was currently using, she hadn't even twitched. After that, interest had started to well and he had to wait until she noticed him, just to see how long it would take her.

Nova started humming in a soft tone, causing James to tense immediately, watching her chair move from side to side. Sitting still wasn't her strong suit either and it immediately made James nervous. A cursory check showed that he still had all his weapons, the knife in his boot brushing his ankle gently and the gun in the small of his back pressing comfortingly against his skin. It would take half a second for him to pull his weapon.

A cursory scan of the woman before him showed that she wasn't much of a threat. She was generally in shape, but far too thin to be a viable threat. Not quite malnourished, but not completely healthy either. If she wanted to stand a chance against him in a fight, she needed to eat more regularly. If she did attack in any way, she was a dead woman. He estimated it would take less than ten seconds to take her out, whether he took the time to knock her unconscious or kill her. The choice would be made in the heat of battle depending on multiple variables that he wasn't always able to explain. If she attacked, though, he was ready.

Not that he thought she would. She was too immersed in her project to even notice that he was in the room with her. If he did attack, she would be completely at his mercy. He would make it quick. Maybe snap her neck. She wouldn't feel any pain. Maybe not even notice it at all, her concentration was so absolute. That could be a blessing or a curse.

James honestly appreciated Nova's single-minded focus. Not many people could achieve that level of intent and he was surprised that she managed considering all the talking and humming. On the other hand, if it hadn't been him who had walked into the room earlier, it would have inevitably led to her death. Anyone meaning to harm her would find an easy target. After promising Eve multiple times that he would check on her friend throughout her time away with Steve, that wasn't a comforting thought at all to James. He didn't particularly care for Nova, but Eve did. And Steve cared about Eve. If he let Nova die over such a small matter as not being fond of her, it would indirectly affect Steve, which was the last thing James wanted. He had already hurt his friend enough for multiple lifetimes, he didn't need to add Nova's death to the list.

Not only that, but James technically still owed Nova for helping retrieve Eve after HYDRA had managed to take her from his possession. While he generally tried to forget about that failure, it stuck out in his mind more and more with each passing day and he wasn't about to forget that he owed this woman particularly. Her family and her connections had been instrumental in saving Evangeline. She hadn't known him but had come as soon as he called. He might not like her too much, but he had to trust her at least enough to save Eve.

"Oh, and FRIDAY, can you make sure Tony gets a copy of the updated specs? Let him know he's an ass hat and I hate him," Nova demanded, spinning in her chair as she reached out blindly to grab another lollipop from the bowlful on her desk.

It was another pink lollipop. Those seemed to be her favorite considering half of the bowl was pink. He was fairly certain those were bubblegum, but hadn't been close enough to read the wrapper yet. Whatever they were, she hummed in appreciation as soon as it was in her mouth, swinging her chair from side to side as she typed another command into her computer absently, her attention seeming to divide between the many screens as she worked.

Her desk was the only spot in the entire lab that was completely clear of clutter, something he considered carefully as he watched her. The rest of the tables and counters were piled high with equipment and various parts. He couldn't tell what most of it was and it wasn't because he was that out of touch with technology, as the other Avengers assumed. It was because she had an array of specialized equipment that he never even knew existed. Some of the materials she was using were as familiar to him as breathing. He knew what a grenade looked like and she had three different ones that were in various states of assembly on one of the tables. He could make out different guns on another counter that were shaped oddly. They were completely stripped and it looked like they were in the middle of being specialized, though he couldn't make out the exact functions. He didn't know what she was doing with such serious weaponry and didn't really feel inclined to ask, but he noted the different weapons and possible uses, a part of his mind he couldn't turn off even if he tried. If she tried anything on him, he would at least be capable of defending himself, if nothing else.

The entire lab looked like what he assumed the inside of her mind looked like. It was intensely cluttered, but generally put together. If he read the room right, Nova would know where everything was and how it all worked. She probably had some sort of category system and had everything labeled somewhere. Anyone who came in would be incredibly confused as to her system, but she was meticulous, in her own way. Even if she was scatterbrained and oblivious to possible enemies, Nova wasn't someone who would, say, lose a screwdriver.

"Okay, got that taken care of. I got supper figured out and I have the sketches of the grenade launcher done for War Machine. What's left on the agenda for the week?" Nova spun in a circle in her chair again, her eyes sliding over the various tools and instruments that made up her lab. Her warm brown eyes slipped right over him and James wondered idly if she was stupid or just incompetent. Only an idiot would disregard him so easily.

James could quite literally kill her without ever flinching. It wouldn't even be classified as a workout. If HYDRA had wanted her dead, he wouldn't have been taken out of cryo freeze to complete the task. Any asset would work. All he had to do was walk over and decide the best way to end her life. She'd never know he was there. Her attention was solely focused on her work and she seemed oblivious to his presence even after noticing he was in the room. She'd never know it was coming. It would be quick. Clean. Almost easy. There wouldn't be any mess. She'd be there one minute and dead the next.

Of course, that wasn't completely possible at the moment. He couldn't kill her and not just because his arm was malfunctioning. Not that he would really need any extra strength. There were cameras all over her lab, documenting everything. He had an idea that it was for scientific purposes, not in case of an attack, but it was still something he would need to think through. At least four cameras were trained on her at all times and he could make out more along the ceiling, watching and waiting for something to happen.

FRIDAY was also aware he was in the lab and he couldn't risk losing the trust of the Avengers when he'd only just gained their recognition. They were the only thing standing between him and every other agency in the world coming out to kill him. He could never make up for the damage he'd done over the years with HYDRA, could never apologize enough, but he could start by not killing the innocent woman before him. The instincts would never really leave him, but he could make sure that that part of him stayed, carefully held back by years of conditioning and iron will.

"Do you mind if I turn some music on?" James almost jumped when Nova's focus settled on him like a laser, her chocolate eyes on his face. She didn't even glance at the assembly of weapons that were strapped to him. He wasn't even sure she knew they were there. It was possible she had no idea. Most normal people wouldn't notice, he'd made sure of it. That was something he'd never forget how to do, no matter how many times he got his brain wiped. "Not that I don't love awkward silences and all, it's just I work better in a loud environment. When I was at Sci Ops, that's what the science training academy for SHIELD was called, there was always someone making noise. If there wasn't, I took my music with me wherever I went anyway. It's kind of a habit. If it bothers you, though, I can put my headphones on. But they're kind of a bitch when someone tries to call me or get my attention, hence why I usually have music over the loudspeakers. But I can put up with it, if you want."

James stared at her for a moment, now curious as to what she was talking about. There were very few people in his life who actually asked his opinion on things. Steve, for all his good intentions, tended to assume that James was alright with whatever he came up with. Usually, that was the truth. Natalia never asked anyone what they thought and James liked that she seemed to treat him just like she treated everyone else. The closest James got to someone who would ask his opinion was Evangeline, who asked him questions but tended not to wait for answers if he didn't feel like answering. Unlike Evangeline, James got the feeling Nova would sit there all day, waiting for an answer. She wouldn't fix the problem until he gave his opinion on how to fix it, as if she actually cared about his personal feelings.

It wasn't just a yes or no answer either. Those were the kind of questions he preferred. A quick move of his head could answer any yes or no question efficiently and he wished she'd just asked if he was all right with music. Then he could have just nodded and it would be over with. Now, though, he had to find an answer and his voice, two things he didn't particularly like to do.

Forcing his mind to work quickly, she'd already waited for two silent minutes while he stared at her, James came up with a fairly succinct answer. Setting his jaw determinedly, he forced himself to sit still, suppressing the gut reaction to check his weapons again. Unless he was running a mission, it was dangerous to talk while in HYDRA. Punishments were swift and severe. The Asset didn't have feelings or emotions or opinions, he was a weapon to be used at their leisure. It wasn't the same here, no one would hurt him for speaking, but the animal part in him bared its teeth at the thought of even daring to open his mouth. It had been easier with Evangeline; she wasn't dangerous and she was technically a civilian. She knew how to fight, but she didn't so long as she didn't have to. Nova was different. She was a scientist, like so many he had known. The scientists could be just as cruel as his handlers and he wasn't sure what she would do if he said the wrong thing. She was an unknown variable and it put him up in arms, no matter that he knew that, theoretically, she could be trusted.

"Music is fine," he forced out behind clenched teeth. Sweat beaded along his brow and his muscles clenched, waiting for the woman's reaction to his words. If she made one wrong move, he would be gone before she could touch him.

Nova grinned immediately, spinning her chair back so that her back was toward him, fingers clicking away at the keyboard in front of her quickly. "Awesome! If something annoys you, just let me know. I like all kinds of music, but you'll definitely hear Tony's influence. He has a more eclectic taste. Personally, I just like background noise and singing along. Not that I'm good at it or anything, but I do like singing. You'll notice I suck, but that's fine. Do you have a favorite genre? I know that the music nowadays is pretty different from the music you grew up with. Then again, I don't really know if you remember the music back then either… I mean, I've heard most of your memories have been recovered, but no one's really sure how much and maybe I'll just play a bit of everything and you can let me know if you like something. That way, I can play more of that."

The breath he hadn't been aware he was holding blew out between his teeth silently, relief flooding through him when she talked enough that he didn't have to answer any of her questions. At least this time she wasn't waiting for him to answer. Not that he knew why she wanted to talk to him in the first place. Most of the new recruits kept their distance, watching him like he'd explode at any moment. Not to mention all the times Barton had told him he was a terrible conversation partner. Nova didn't seem to notice or care.

"Okay, FRIDAY, throw on one of my mixed playlists. We're going to find music that James likes!" Nova called up to the AI. James' gaze snapped to the back of her head, surprised that she'd called him by his first name. Most people called him by his last name or Sergeant. Steve called him Bucky and some of the Avengers (Tony Stark) had taken up that name as well. Then again, Stark only used it as a snide comment on the past he had trouble remembering. Very few people called him James. Barton, when they were alone together, Natalia when she was being super serious, and Eve because he'd told her to. He hadn't introduced himself to anyone else and no one had asked him what he preferred. Then again, meeting new people was fairly rare in his life as or the moment and Steve tended to introduce him to anyone new. "Don't pick one of the fast ones yet, pick one with slower music. Maybe some Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Bing Crosby. That was around his time, right? Oh, and don't put it on an endless loop, switch to a different playlist when it ends. Maybe we'll find something he likes in between."

The names Bing Crosby and Dean Martin sounded familiar in a way that had James frowning. Were they from before the war? Did he remember them? He had heard of Frank Sinatra from Steve, who was still trying to catch up on the times, but the other two were people he knew Steve hadn't mentioned. Who were they?

"Yes, Dr. Maddox," FRIDAY answered. James tensed as the music started up in the background, slow and sweet as it filled the air. For a moment, he considered that he would almost prefer her talking than the music. At least if she was talking, he could still listen for threats. With the music filling the room with a melodic, crooning voice, James wasn't sure if he would be able to.


	3. Lollipops and Dreamscapes

**This is a let's get to know Nova chapter, but she's so much fun to write that I didn't even mind. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, please keep them coming! Let me know what you think of characterization so far, tell me what you hope for the future, ask questions, I'll answer. Hope you enjoy the chapter!**

Nova crunched another lollipop into dust, grabbing a pen and paper and spinning in her chair to eye the empty seat that was still waiting in the corner. James was long gone, hours gone, and hadn't said a word when he'd left. She had no idea if it was in the middle of her Bing Crosby sing-along or her solo of "The Way You Look Tonight". Either way, he was gone and she was once again left alone in the confines of her lab, staring blankly at her many screens.

The music was quieter now, turned down when the building officially switched into nighttime mode. Leftover pizza was still sitting on one of the counters, waiting for when she got hungry again. The lights around the lab were mostly off and she was sitting in the semi-darkness, the glow from the computers comforting against the nightmares that waited outside.

Nibbling on the end of a pen cap, Nova contemplated what she wanted to write down. The notebook she'd picked up was technically a journal, in the most general sense of the word. It was a hodgepodge of things, anything she thought about and wanted to write down. There were phone numbers, part numbers, sketches, letters, even a few map points. Currently, the most common entries were letters to Evie. Things she didn't have anyone else to tell, things she didn't want to forget to tell her friend when she finally came home. FRIDAY wasn't the best conversationalist and Nova hadn't really made many friends in the Tower. Since she was still mad at Maria for putting Evie in danger, Nova really didn't have anyone to talk to unless she wanted to call home and talk to one of her siblings. Maggie was already trying to convince her to go back to the compound after the latest scandal against SHIELD. It wasn't a secret that her family was having trouble with the agency now. Her siblings were all for her leaving the residence she'd taken up with Tony so she wouldn't be in such immediate danger, none of them realizing the things she would have to give up to go home.

"You know, this would be so much easier if Evie was here," Nova groaned into the nothingness, scribbling a small star on the corner of the page her journal was open to. "If she was here, I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting to tell her something or not having enough friends. I could just pretend everything was normal and we could be watching a movie or doing our nails right now. Or even hanging out with her boy toy. I honestly don't care at this point. It's been a month. A month! And they're still not talking about coming home. I thought this vacation would be something they'd get bored of eventually. How interesting can it be to travel the world?"

Nova's family had instilled a large respect for their homelands in her very veins. The compound in Northern Maine was the only place in the world that felt like home, though the Tower had its moments. Traveling outside the country, even just outside Maine, was something they did because they had to. Because it was their duty to protect the land they lived in. Evie hadn't grown up with that and it baffled Nova, who counted Evie and Elise as her own sisters.

She grumbled a little as she started sketching a shape around the lopsided star she'd managed to color in, curling her feet up to rest against the ledge of the desk while she worked. Her feet were stuffed into a pair of black running sneakers, picked because they were light and airy, matching almost anything she could possibly decide to wear in the lab. She had about ten pairs of the exact same shoes, just for work. If she dared wear her good shoes to work, her Jimmy Choo's or her Charlotte Olympia's, they would be destroyed within an hour. And she would definitely cry if her Charlotte Olympia's were destroyed. The sneakers were far more comfortable anyway, hence why she spent most of her clothing allowance on clothing and sneakers that could be destroyed without breaking her heart. Tony was the only one who dared to buy her anything designer and he went all out when he did. That had been a great Christmas.

Wiggling her feet a little, Nova sighed, glancing at the drawing she was almost finished with. It definitely wasn't a masterpiece, but the shape caught her attention immediately. She'd drawn James's prosthetic arm.

It wasn't to scale, obviously, but the star was plain as day and she'd even scratched in the hard lines of the panels. Nova hadn't actually seen the thing up close. She only knew what Evie had told her and what she'd seen after the information leak in DC. The drawing probably wasn't even right on, but it got her thinking, never a good thing. If James was meeting with Tony, of all people, it had to be about his arm. The only questions Steve couldn't answer for James, besides anything pop culture, was about the mechanical properties of his arm. A biomechanical masterpiece of epic proportions. God, just thinking about it gave her shivers. It had to be the arm that he was worried bout.

Maybe he would come in tomorrow and let her take a look at it. That would be a miracle that she probably didn't deserve, but, moon and stars above, she wanted it. She'd wanted a look at it since she'd heard about the Winter Soldier myth. The ghost assassin with a legendary prosthetic arm? How could that not catch her attention? Then Evie went and made friends with the guy, because she could make friends with damn near everyone, and Nova's dream had come closer to reality. And now, here he was, in the same exact building as her. In her lab, in fact. If she didn't know about his past, she would have jumped at the chance to take a look at that arm. But scientists probably weren't his favorite kind of people and Nova would always be a scientist.

The only way to conceivably get him more comfortable around her was to remind him that not all scientists were evil, manipulative bastards that would beat him if he did something wrong. (She might have peeked in his file.) That would take a lot more time and patience than Nova probably had, but she could try. Who else was going to help him?

Slowly, she started writing down possible wiring options for his prosthetic, humming along with the song that was now playing. There were studies on synthetic nerve roots that could help in the understanding of the HYDRA tech used, but most of them weren't taught just anywhere. SHIELD hadn't even had that sort of tech until recently. Not to mention that having that sort of technology in the nineteen forties was damn near impossible. Then again, there was a lot of impossible going around these days, what with gods coming to earth, aliens trying to take over the planet, and the super powered humans that were strolling around everywhere. His arm was the tip of the impossible iceberg, if there was such a thing.

If HYDRA had managed to implement synthetic nerves into their design, it was possible he would have more feeling in it than anyone would guess. Even if there wasn't any heat or cold sensitivity, it would explain the arm moving much like his other. Nova frowned a little, wondering how the hell she was going to get her hands on that piece of HYDRA research. Technically, the plans for his arm were probably somewhere on the internet after Natasha's infamous internet dump, but it was a pain in the ass to find anything SHIELD related these days. Nova had helped in burying some of the more sensitive files when the leak had happened and Tony and JARVIS had done the same. JARVIS was one of the only things capable of deleting something completely off the internet and he had done just that for a lot of SHIELD information including safe houses and any dangerous technological advanced that weren't supposed to see the light of day. Probably including anything that had to do with James's prosthetic.

Finding that information, if it was even possible, would take hours of work and Nova knew that it was an invasion of James's privacy for her to do so. If she was a lesser person, she would totally look it up just to satisfy her curiosity, but she didn't really want him to get mad at her when they were the only ones in the residential area of the Tower at the moment. He could kill her and no one would realize it for days, something that wasn't all that reassuring when she thought about it.

Either way, Nova decided not to look into it, instead just writing down the idea for later if she had a change of heart. If James came back, she could ask him if it was alright if she just took a peek. That was a big 'if', though. He's shown up this time because he was looking for Tony. She'd told him the truth, that Tony wasn't in the building, which meant he didn't have to come back again. And, if there was anything she'd learned about James since she'd met him, it was that he didn't do anything without a specific purpose in mind, including visiting any of his friends.

It had been kind of nice to have him around though, in retrospect. It was nice to have another person around in general, actually. The Tower was quiet on the best of days and Nova tended not to go out on a regular basis. She went shopping sometimes, but it wasn't as much fun when there was no one to shop with. Occasional coffee dates with Pepper happened, but it wasn't like Pepper wasn't busy running a global company while simultaneously funding the Avengers. Pepper was practically family after all the years she had worked with Tony. He refused to go anywhere without her for a long time and she'd ended up at most of their family gatherings. Even if Tony and Pepper were fighting, Nova considered the other woman family. It was the fact that Nova didn't really want to bother her when she was lonely that put a wrench in that friendship.

Leaning back into her chair, Nova dropped her journal onto the desk and threw her head back, staring up at the ceiling of her lab. The fifteen foot ceilings were painted solid white, almost blinding when the lights were on. In the dark, they looked almost cavernous with the various support beams in place for all the extra equipment.

It was late, so late, and a yawn broke past Nova's lips, reminding her that she should go to bed soon. It had been a while since she'd slept, definitely more than a day and a half, and she needed sleep if she wanted to work at full capacity.

It was the apartment that was the real problem. After Evie had gotten hurt, Steve had moved her into his place so he could look after her. They got along so well and Evie was actually happy with him, something Nova hadn't seen in years. She was happy that her best friend didn't wake up from horror inducing nightmares anymore, but the apartment seemed to be bigger now without her presence. After so many years living with Evie, it was hard to get used to being on her own. Nova was definitely not a loner. And being in the apartment by herself all the time was genuinely terrifying, if she was being honest. After everything that had happened in and around the Tower, Nova wasn't really comfortable in her own home anymore.

It had gotten so bad that she didn't other going back to her apartment anymore. The lab was more secure as a whole and FRIDAY was always in attendance if something dangerous happened. It helped that no one really ever made it down to her lab anymore anyway. Dr. Banner rarely made an appearance and hadn't bothered to show up since Sokovia and Ultron, which meant Nova had the whole entire floor to herself and safeguards in place in case of a Hulk-out. That meant she was the safest she could be in the Tower if she just stayed in her lab. Dr. Banner would have been safe there too, before he decided to abandon Natasha. Now, Nova didn't blame him for running for the hills. If the woman found him in his lab at any point, it was basically predetermined that there would be some sort of detrimental damage to the structure of the Tower.

Luckily, Natasha didn't give two shits about Nova either and never came to check on her. That meant that the corner of her lab that was basically turned into a mini-dorm room went unnoticed by anyone. It had been her resting place for the last month or so. It had more than a few blankets and pillows piled on the blowup mattress she'd place in the corner for when she crashed. It was just hard to convince herself to crawl in until she very nearly couldn't keep her eyes open. More than once she had woken up slumped oddly in her chair, drooling on her own notes.

Being tired was nothing new to Nova, who was way too much like Tony for anyone's comfort. Ignoring the sensation like a pro, Nova pushed herself toward one of the other counters in her lab, grabbing the smallest drone on it and picking the little thing up. It was a spy drone she'd been working on for SHIELD, integrated completely with SHIELD mirror technology. If integrated correctly, it would make the little drone invisible to the naked eye. At least, it was supposed to. So far, Nova had managed to conceal it with the mirror tech, but there were still some glitches that would give her something to do in the meantime.

Setting the drone carefully on her desk, Nova spun over to the tool cabinet and pulled out the case of small instruments she used to work on the drone, ignoring the tumble of scrap metal that fell from the very same cupboard. That could be dealt with later.

Pulling out a screwdriver, Nova pushed the top panel open and got to work.


	4. A Shadow of the Past

**I noticed that I might not have mentioned, but this story has so much swearing in it, curtesy of Dr. Nova Maddox. James swears a couple times, but not to the extent that Nova does. So, if that bothers you, know that it's a continuing trend and not something that's going to magically back off. I hope everyone's liking the story so far, thanks to all the favorites, follows, and reviews. Review if you have a compliment, question, concern, or just want to say hi! Hope you all enjoy!**

 **P.S.: I'm copying and pasting this time, so I apologize for any formatting errors.**

James wandered the top floors of the Tower like a ghost, feet silent against the cold floors. No one else was around and it wasn't like he particularly cared if there were. Most of them saw him as some kind of ghost, afraid of coming into contact with him in the least. Scaring them was the last thing on his mind at the moment, however. He didn't really have a lot on his mind, actually. Going through the Tower was just a way to keep his mind off of the cavernous emptiness that surrounded him. Every noise made him tense, the wind hitting the windows buffeting his senses. It was getting increasingly hard to convince himself to stay in New York, much less the Tower. As soon as his arm was fixed, he planned on leaving. It was the best option he had. He wasn't sure where he would go, but that wasn't as important as getting away. There were so many painful reminders of his failings, he couldn't take it. Maybe he would come back if Steve ever returned, but this wasn't his home. He didn't have a home anymore. The only reason he'd been allowed to stay with the superheroes was because Steve wasn't good at taking no for an answer when it involved people he loved.

If it hadn't been for Steve, James knew he would be dead. So he paid his best friend back in any way he could. Until he had failed that too. Eve had almost died because of James. He would have fought for her if she hadn't ordered him away. He had fought for her, in the end. She meant everything to Steve and James wasn't about to let anyone take her away from him, not after everything Steve had gone through. Not only that, but James really did appreciate everything Evangeline had done for him. All of the card games and idle conversations. All of the smiles and the laughter. He even appreciated the fact that Evangeline had forgiven him for leaving her in HYDRA hands. But the best thing James could do to thank both of them was disappear. If he wasn't around, they wouldn't be in danger because of him.

No matter what Steve claimed, James knew he was dangerous. Some days, he still couldn't remember his own name. If he ever forgot at the wrong time, he could seriously injure someone. Not to mention that HYDRA would never stop looking for the Asset. And that was what he was, their Asset. Even when he had been in a position to protect someone from them, he had balked. That was how people died. He'd killed enough people in his admittedly long life, he wasn't sure he could take that risk anymore.

The elevator door opened, startling him out of his daze. It became immediately apparent that he had returned to Nova's lab, the soft music she was playing in the background calming some of his anger. Taking a step into the room, the door closed swiftly, abandoning him to this level. Nova didn't even look over to see who had come in, her attention focused completely on the exposed wiring she was fiddling with.

Today, she was dressed in a pair of faded overalls, the denim ripped over her right knee. Her hair was tugged back into a thick bun, screws stabbed through the mess and a tool belt hanging off her narrow hips. Her feet were in socks that were a bright pink and she only had a tank top on under the overalls, a matching pink. Her head was cocked to the side and she shifted her weight, the chair she was perched on swiveling slightly with her movement. James was moving before he even registered the potential danger, halfway across the room in seconds to grab the chair and steady it. Nova looked down in surprise when the seat stopped the slow circular movement abruptly.

Pressed between her lips was a pair of wire cutters, her warm brown eyes lighting up as soon as she noticed him. James grimaced when she opened her mouth immediately, the wire cutters immediately caving to gravity and falling toward the table. His metal hand shot out to catch it, the grind of metal on metal reverberating through his ears.

"Hey! I didn't know you were coming down today. Thanks for the save - this isn't the most secure spot in the universe, but the connection sucked and I was trying to fix it. Just give me a couple seconds and I'll be down, okay? I just have to replace this bolt and I think I'm good. I'll have to try it and see, but nothing should blow up, so that's always a plus," Nova started up on her incessant talking and James resisted the urge to yank her off the chair and shake her until her common sense returned. In all honesty, he wasn't sure she _had_ common sense. No one with common sense put a rolling chair on top of a counter and climbed on top of it.

The silence that followed stretched out as James set the wire cutters on her desk and moved to grip the chair tighter, making sure it didn't swivel and throw her off. Nova didn't even seem to notice, going up on tiptoe to reach as far as she could to get the screw she'd removed back into place. It hit him again how easy it would be to kill her, but it didn't look like he'd have to worry about that. She was well on her way to taking herself out without his help at all.

"Okay, all fixed!" she informed him, jumping off the chair with enough force to send it flying if he hadn't been holding it in place. James scowled up at her as she hopped off the table, easily lifting the chair down and setting it on the floor so she wouldn't touch it again. "Hopefully the connection will be stronger. It took me almost ten minutes to reroute the wireless. Then again, Tony's really careful with all of his equipment, so maybe I won't be able to access his mainframe. I'm not really a hacker, I'm an engineer. With FRIDAY's help, I should have a chance of figuring out what he intended with that last assignment. Not that you really care… Shutting up now!"

Nova's head dropped down, the light in her brown eyes dulling as she bit into her bottom lip. James knew he made her nervous. Not only would she not look at him at the moment, but she'd pulled a screwdriver out of her belt and was currently twirling it between her fingers compulsively, eyes flicking from one of her socks to the other. One had a hole right at the tip of her toe, dark nail polish peeking through.

James worked his jaw for a moment, unsure what to do. Nova wasn't shy. He'd seen her stare down Natalia, which was no easy feat. It had to be him that made her this way. For some reason, that thought wasn't as reassuring as he would have thought. After all, half of his reputation was built on intimidation. Why should one woman be any different?

"You built all this?" James forced out, chest tightening at his own rough voice. He hadn't talked since he'd been down to see her two days ago and it had to be obvious. It was hard to speak. Everyone had expectations about who he was and what he was supposed to do and he wanted to live up to those. Or maybe he didn't, considering most people thought he was some sort of killing machine that would explode at any moment. Even Steve, for all of his good intentions, was wary about leaving James alone with anyone. It still boggled his mind that Nova wasn't calling for help or running away from him. So far, the only thing she seemed to think was that he didn't like her talking so much. Which wasn't particularly untrue. But he preferred her talking to her silence.

"Well, kind of. I picked out all of the hardware for the computer bay. Tony was the one who upgraded all of the software to fit. He also chose some of the more advanced equipment because some of it you can't get out on the open market. The layout of the place was all Evie and me, though. Evie is the one who helped with the computer layout because the lab can also be used as mission control if we need it. When the hardware is acting up, I usually fix it, but Tony takes care of the software. I'm okay at hacking and I can write a few lines of code, but Tony's the one who actually enjoys it," Nova informed him, head popping up so that she could see him as she talked. James watched her carefully, noting the smile that brightened her eyes and spread down to her lips. The life seemed to pour back into her and he considered what he would do with that information. "I can fix almost anything mechanical given enough time. I was trained in biomechanical engineering and robotics through SHIELD. I know you don't have the best experiences with SHIELD, but they had one hell of a good school. Sci Ops was like manna for those of us who didn't fit in in normal schools. It was a bitch to be advanced in a public school."

James's lips tilted down at the thought of someone picking on the woman before him. A memory pushed through of a little boy, maybe eleven or twelve, picking on a little girl. James had known her. She'd worn ribbons in her hair and was always smiling. The boy was large and meaty, a bully if there ever was one. He'd pushed the girl in the mud and that was when Steve saw them. James had tried to stop him, told him not to go over there, but Steve never backed down from a bully.

The little girl got away fine; James had made sure to send her to a teacher before going after Steve. He'd been covered in mud, skinny fists in the air as the other boy threw a fist bigger than his head at him. James had stepped in and that was the first time he'd gotten his nose broken. The bigger boy had run off when the teachers had noticed the fight.

Was that what had happened to Nova? Back when he was a child, women weren't to be messed with. If a boy shoved a girl, there were a dozen other boys who would help her up, brush her off, and beat her abuser until he didn't think of hurting a woman again. The world had changed by leaps and bounds, but the common courtesies shouldn't have. Sometimes, James hated the future.

"SHIELD was awesome, though, so don't get all frowny on me. I loved Sci Ops so much better than Ops, I swear. Plus, I got to meet Evie and Elise. They're like sisters to me. There's nothing to complain about when it comes to my schooling. Well, you know, unless we're talking about the whole shitty HYDRA influence…" Nova trailed off and spun toward her desk, almost elbowing him in the process. James took a quick step back to avoid a pointed elbow to the ribs and Nova didn't even notice, already talking again. "So, what are you down here for? Not that I don't love visitors or appreciate the company. It's just you don't really know me that well and I didn't think you were going to come back. If you want to stay, I left your chair in the corner. As long as you don't touch anything, we're good. And you can tell me if you need something. I might not be able to help, but I know a lot of people who have specialties in a lot of different things, so I might be able to find someone who could help."

James didn't know what to say. Not many people offered to help him. His chest tightened, making it almost impossible to speak around the sudden pain. By force of will alone his breathing remained even, face blank of emotion. He watched Nova carefully, even as she turned her back on him and started typing out a few commands on one of her computers.

"I killed people."

It flew out of his mouth without permission, hanging in the silence around them while Nova slowly straightened up and turned to face him. Her eyebrows were raised and her jaw slack with surprise. James made no move to fix what he'd just done, sure she was going to do _something_. Yell at him, hit him, throw him out, something. And he wouldn't blame her in the least. The other Avengers understood, they'd done the same things he had. They were all killers in their own right. Different than he was, but still sort of the same. Natalia and Barton understood the best; they'd contracted out before SHIELD and Natalia had been given the same treatments when she'd worked with the KGB. Nova didn't have the same background as they did though and she should be afraid, even terrified. That was the normal response of someone who was healthy and had a good upbringing.

"We do what we have to to survive, James," Nova's voice started out firm, trailing off toward the end as she ran a hand through some stray hair that had fallen out of her bun. "You're not going to scare me, if that's what you're after. If I can be honest with you, which I'm assuming I can be, I know I should be afraid. You have that kickass bionic arm that could quite literally crush my skull at any moment and I'm completely oblivious on a regular basis, so I probably wouldn't even know I was dead until I hit the pearly gates, but I'm not afraid. HYDRA is the reason all those people are dead, they're the reason I lost half my friends and almost lost my family. It wasn't one individual's fault and it certainly wasn't yours. Though, Pierce was a main supporter and a cocky bastard, so I am kind of glad Nick shot him. But, my point, which keeps getting lost, is that it wasn't you."

"I've killed people since I got out," James informed her gruffly, glaring at her for a moment. His glare alone had sent weaker men running for their lives, but Nova just smirked at him and rolled her own light brown eyes in response.

"Don't give me that look. Not afraid, remember?" She waved a screwdriver in the air between them, pointing it at herself. James would have frozen if he wasn't so intent on staring at her. She didn't know the danger she was in, she didn't know the danger of him still being welcome in her lab. He could snap one day and kill her, even accidently. If she managed to land a blow, even with a screwdriver, the chances of that stopping him were slim to none. The Asset didn't feel pain.

"You're a stupid girl," James spit out, annoyance winning out. Someday, he would get her to understand. Nova shot him a significant look, scrunching up her nose a little and shaking her head quickly.

"You act like I've never been called stupid before. I have two older brothers and an older sister, stupid isn't all that insulting anymore. Besides, I think we both know if you wanted to kill me, I'd be dead. Whether I let you in here or not. And, technically, I have never actually let you in. You just appear. I don't even know you're here until you move or make a noise, which completely weirds me out, by the way," Nova informed him, spinning the screwdriver between her fingers. Her eyebrows were raised in challenge and James grit his teeth, a muscle twitching spastically in his jaw.

It bothered him that her siblings had called her stupid. From what he remembered, he would never say that to his sisters. His memory was unclear about most of his childhood, but the pieces he remembered always involved one sister or another chasing him around. Steve hadn't minded but James hadn't appreciated getting followed. Still, he had let them. The girls were his sisters, what was he supposed to do?

Not only had it never crossed his mind to call them names, his ma would have tanned his hide if he had even thought about it. The woman was a blurry memory, but the impressions he had of her were firm. There was a lot of love in his house, but his ma kept firm rules.

"Ah, don't be all grouchy. You're not that weird. At least, Steve claims you aren't," Nova interrupted his train of thought, shrugging obliviously. James wondered if that was really how she saw him. Did she really just see creepy and weird? She'd called him creepy enough times that he'd had to agree with her, but did she think he was weird? Most of the building seemed to. But Nova was the only one who actually talked to him when she saw him.

Something about her brought him back the next day and the next to watch the mysterious woman work on whatever project she planned.


	5. Nova Does What She Wants (Poor James)

**This chapter was such a fun one to write. We get to see James being super curious and grabby and Nova hovering, all so much fun. Thank you for all the reviews, favorites, and follows, you guys are amazing. I can't wait to hear more from you guys, so leave me comments, questions, concerns!**

"Don't touch that!" Nova cried, vaulting off the counter she was standing on top of and practically tackling James to get him away from the metal sensitive magnetic interphase she'd been working on. He wrenched his hand away as soon as she spoke, stumbling a little when she barreled into his chest. It was like running into a wall, firm and definitely well-muscled. Her hands flew up to catch her and she pressed her fingers into his biceps, honestly surprised by the sheer mass of them. One, how in the world did he stay that in shape? And two, how had the HYDRA assholes figured out how to manipulate the synthetic muscle into the exact same size and shape of his other arm?

"What is it?" James immediately asked, blinking innocently at her. Jumping back into her body, Nova shook her head slightly, unnerved by how close he was. His head was tilted down and his long hair fell just past his shoulders, a few inches shorter than Nova's own mop of hair. James's was lightly curled and looked incredibly soft, which was totally unfair with how much good conditioner cost these days.

"It's a very volatile super magnet. If you get close with your metal arm, there's a chance it'll get stuck and won't come off. Technically, I guess I could get it off, if I worked on it a few days, but I know how you feel about your arm. So, just don't touch that. Here, you can look at this. Super cool and you know a lot about rifles, right?" Nova blabbered to hide her embarrassment, avoiding James's eyes as she grabbed her latest invention, a long-range icer. When it was done, it would be able to shoot a small amount of night-night solution at high velocity and incapacitate a suspect without killing them. Super useful in the field and definitely in high demand as soon as she patented it. "I've been working on that little miracle for a little over a year. It's designed for long-range use with an icer agent. An icer agent is generally a mix of chemical compounds that paralyze a subject and the rifle you're holding-"

"-is meant to subdue a target, not kill," James finished, pulling Nova's shocked gaze up to his. His dark blue eyes were focused on the gun he was holding, hands moving automatically. Nova assumed it was kind of like muscle memory as he checked the barrel, emptied out the test bullets, and checked the sight line. Three little hollowed out glass bullets were set on the closest counter in a perfect row as James held up the rifle, bracing it on his shoulder and checking the sight. He didn't look the least bit impressed with his knowledge, but Nova was.

He'd appeared in her lab four straight days and usually didn't say much. The most annoying thing the assassin tried was to touch whatever he could get his hands on. Apparently, science interested him in a way that made him grabby. Nova wasn't impressed with that, but she was surprised by his scientific knowledge. Steve had come down to her lab just once when he was done with his 'alone time' with Evie and had been in awe of her work. He'd known the basics: a grenade, a rifle, a magnet, but he didn't understand how it all went together. James seemed to have a vast knowledge of a number of different theories, even some theories that didn't come into existence until after his fall from the train.

"Don't ever hand a gun that's still loaded to anyone," James ordered, catching her off guard. His voice was deeper, rougher, and she looked at him carefully to see that his eyes had gotten darker. His jaw was set in a way that looked almost painful. He straightened his back and handed her the weapon back, butt first, movements stiff and jerky.

"It wasn't loaded, not really. See, these are hollow bullets used for testing. There's no icer agent in them," Nova informed him, carefully grabbing one of the test bullets and holding it up between her thumb and forefinger so he could see through the clear glass. He didn't look impressed.

"Glass breaks. Shoot at the right point, it can still kill someone," James robotically answered. Nova cocked her head, setting the bullet down and gently placing the gun on the counter. Something was different and she didn't want to be holding a rifle if he suddenly forgot where he was. That would be downright deadly. Not to mention the possible setbacks he'd experience if he suddenly killed her. She knew she wasn't his favorite person, but she was someone he knew personally. Killing her could be catastrophic for his mental health.

"Well, I'll try to be more careful," Nova shrugged, rolling onto her toes and trying desperately not to look nervous. She'd never had an experience with the Winter Soldier side of James's personality and she didn't want to. He sounded downright terrifying. Seeing him in action across a screen had been more than enough.

"Good."

Slowly, James's posture relaxed and he shook his head, blinking rapidly. His eyes seemed to come alive again, lightening up slightly and he looked down at her, only a slight frown on his lips. His jaw was relaxed and Nova let herself relax into an easy going grin.

"Okay!" she clapped her hands together and James jerked slightly, like he hadn't been expecting her to move or make any loud noises. It was like he didn't know her at all. "Time for some music. I still need to clean out that top shelf. I can't find the level. Which is really stupid because I know it's around here somewhere. I'd never take it out of my lab; that would be like sentencing it to death. Plus, Tony might find it and destroy it. He pretends to be a genius, but he's really just an overgrown man-child. If he touched my level, I will spray paint his suits pink."

"Dr. Maddox, if you insist on needing a level, I can procure one within the hour," FRIDAY spoke up, pulling an annoyed scowl to Nova's lips.

"No, this one is a state of the art, laser built, three pronged level. I want my level!" Nova huffed, knowing that she sounded like a child and not really caring. FRIDAY put up with Tony on a regular basis and he was about a million times worse than Nova. Besides, her level was important. It was one of the few things Tony built for her instead of making her build it on her own. If she couldn't find it, she would never forgive herself. Not that he would remember building it for her or giving it to her, but it had been for her thirteenth birthday. How could she forget something like that?

"Doctor?" James spoke up, face twisted into confusion. His nose wrinkled slightly and his eyes widened, focusing straight on her. It was a good look, especially when a few pieces of his hair fell forward, into his face, and he had to look through them to see her.

"Sit in your chair for a minute. I'm getting that hair out of your face," Nova demanded, pointing to the swivel chair he'd adopted. It permanently sat in the corner of her lab, right near the elevator where he'd left it. Not because she couldn't use it elsewhere, but because that was where he was most comfortable. Slowly, oh so slowly, he stalked back to his seat and dropped down, eyes on her. Nova held up her hands and pulled a hair tie off her wrist, showing him the small rubber band she was going to use. "All I'm going to do is put it in your hair kind of like mine. See?"

Nova turned around so he could look at her own messy ponytail, which was done on the fly while she was fighting with the magnet that morning. It was a bumpy mess and her mother would have been aghast if she could see it, but it was functional.

Carefully, James nodded, sitting incredibly still as Nova came over and turned the chair to the side so he was facing the elevator.

"If it makes you feel better, you can keep an eye on the elevator. I'll be quick. But your hair is definitely long enough to be put up and I've seen it done before. Who usually does it?" Nova demanded, running her fingers carefully through his thick hair. It was as soft as it looked, sliding easily through her fingers even though it had looked tangled to begin with. James's head tilted back just slightly and Nova kept running her fingers lightly along his scalp. It probably felt pretty amazing to have someone comb his hair after so long.

"Natalia," James murmured, a deep rumble in his chest.

"Natalia? Oh, Natasha. I bet she does a bang up job," Nova rolled her eyes at the other woman who wasn't there, thanking Heimdall above that she was out of the building. It wasn't that Nova particularly hated Natasha, it was just that she freaked her out. Yes, more than James did. James had an entire life before he had been taken that he could remember and use as a base. Natasha didn't have that. And, while Evie was friends with the woman, Nova couldn't quite forgive her for not keeping Evie safe after taking her away and promising she would keep an eye on her.

"It feels different," James mumbled, pulling Nova's attention back to him. His head tilted heavily into her hands and she could just see the shadow of his eyelashes. His eyes were closed and, for the first time since Nova had met him, he looked serene.

"That's because I am a master ponytail artist. I'm a doctor in biomechanics and mechanical engineering, which is why FRIDAY calls me Dr. Maddox, by the way, but I'm also pretty good with a ponytail," Nova teased. Honestly, she wasn't great at doing hair. There was a reason that her own hair was usually in bird's nest mode. But she had learned that running her fingers through someone's hair usually made the experience a lot more pleasant. And James seemed to enjoy the attention, judging by the way he was leaning back into her.

"You're a doctor," he repeated, seeming to memorize the information.

"Not a medical doctor. If you get hurt, I can't really stitch up a wound or anything, but I did learn a lot of helpful stuff at Sci Ops. I can hotwire an engine in a minute and thirty three seconds with only a bobby pin. I can build a working projectile shooter with a pen, a rubber band, and a paper clip. And I drive a mean getaway car," Nova informed him, dragging the strands of his hair back into her palm. She'd learned a lot more than most people realized when she was working with SHIELD. It had been one of the best experiences of her life, even with the deadly HYDRA influence.

"You're a driver?" James clarified, probably thinking of all the HYDRA drivers he'd had. She wasn't sure she wanted to be associated with them, but then again, they had to have some mechanical engineers and biomechanical prodigies among their staff. And he wasn't trying to kill her or anything yet.

"I guess you could say that if you wanted to. Technically, I'm not legally able to pull off any mean tricks, but yeah. I was licensed with SHIELD for a few years before the collapse. No one ever wanted me to drive them on a mission, though. Because I talk too much," Nova explained, shrugging a little as she carefully started wrapping the elastic around the ponytail. She was careful not to pull any of his hair, knowing that he was sensitive about pain. Usually she just yanked her own out of the way in a more brutal fashion, but he deserved a little extra care and consideration.

"You do," James agreed immediately, pulling an eye roll from Nova.

"Isn't there a rule about not sassing the person standing behind you?" Nova demanded, pursing her lips and glaring down at the top of his head as she finished the ponytail off. James sat up, turning to face her with a serious expression on his face.

"You couldn't hurt me if you tried," he informed her quite seriously. For a moment, Nova believed him. He was stronger, smarter, and a lot better trained. But Nova had worked with some of the best SHIELD had to offer and she knew a few tricks. Even if James didn't think she had the gall to hurt him, he didn't know who she really was. He didn't know what she had done in SHIELD's name.

"Keep thinking that, cutie pie. Now, what do you think? Too girly? I tried to make it sexy," Nova promised, stepping back with her hands out in a surrender pose. James sent her a curious glance before he moved to the full length mirror that was erected in the corner by her cot, his gaze flickering over his appearance quickly. As soon as he was sure it was fairly solid, he shook his head quickly, like a dog spraying off water, and Nova winced. The ponytail stayed, but he was going to kill a lot of brain cells doing shit like that.

"No loose strands," he informed her, turning back to face her again. Nova shrugged a little, spinning on her heel to go over to the computer bay. They needed some music if she was going to finish tearing apart her lab to find her level and James didn't actually seem to mind having a little background noise.

"Of course there aren't any loose strands. That would defeat the purpose of putting your hair up, don't you think?" Nova teased, grabbing one of the touch screen monitors and scrolling through various playlists. She had unlimited access to Tony's music library, which had about anything that had ever been recorded. Mixed with her playlists were a few of his, some of Evie's, and even a few of Cap's.

She almost jumped out of her skin when fingers appeared in her vision, lightly wrapping a loose piece of her hair around the knuckle before tugging gently. Her eyes jumped up to meet James's and he stared at her, obviously making a point. Pursing her lips, Nova sighed.

"Yes, my hair's a mess, as usual. Yes, it defeats the purpose of putting it up if it's in my way anyway. No, you're not funny," she rattled off, a smile slipping across her face when James's cupid's bow lips tilted up slightly at one corner. It was like pulling teeth to get him to smile and she still hadn't gotten a laugh out of him, though he was slowly starting to talk to her more. That was a victory in and of itself, so she tried not to push it too far. Being subtle wasn't really her forte, though. "I'm putting on music now so I don't have to deal with your gloating face. Honestly, it's like you enjoy proving me wrong, which is downright insulting. I hope you know that."

He didn't look the least bit cowed.

"I'm going with one of Cap's playlists; hopefully it's to your liking. I've never listened to it before, but it looks like a few forties songs mixed in with a bunch of more modern work. If you like something, just press this button here. I'm going to start you your own playlist. That way we can figure out what you actually like instead of forcing you to listen to my music day in and day out," Nova explained, shoving the tablet into James's hands. He automatically caught it, the cool fingers of his prosthetic brushing against her own as she let it go. "Remember, don't touch the magnet."


	6. A Face in a Mirror

**TRIGGER WARNING: PTSD episode and Dissociative Identity Disorder. Also, small bits of violence.**

 **Welcome and/or welcome back! As my beta mentioned, this is a pretty heavy chapter, definitely some angst. As above, know your triggers, watch for them, I do my best to warn so keep an eye out for those. Thank you all for all the favorites, follows, and reviews. I love them and I can't wait to hear from you guys some more.**

 **P.S. Sorry to everyone who wanted a moment with the magnet.**

James grit his teeth, fighting off a wave of nausea. His head was pounding, images flashing before his eyes that couldn't be there. No matter what he did, they wouldn't stop. Names, places, people, files, none of it made sense to his rattled mind. Logically, it had to be his past, his missions, but there was no rhyme or reason to the flashes. Gripping the sink in his bathroom, James let his hair fall into his face, obscuring his view of his own distorted reflection. Something about his face was wrong. Angry and tight when it should have looked drastically different.

A flash of a younger man, smirking confidently, with short dark hair and his own face broke into James' thoughts. An old army uniform with a hat tilted roguishly and a perfectly pressed shirt that flashed blinding white under hunter green. In the image, there was no metal arm, no scars on his body, and no circles under his eyes. He was brand new and naïve, a child in the purest form. The image wavered, dipping and twisting until he was dressed in army greens, shirt pulled open at the collar and bruises littering his features. New scars were an angry dark pink against pale skin and the pain rested on his shoulders like a physical weight bearing down. His jawline and cheekbone were swollen and weariness flooded his entire body, pulling strong shoulders into a tired slouch. A rifle was in his hand and he was patting the shoulder of a larger man, seen only as a flash of red, white, and blue.

James shook his head vigorously, forcing himself back to the present as the porcelain groaned under his tight grip.

He was in the Avengers Tower. Not just the Tower, but his own bathroom in his own apartment. An apartment that had been given to him because Steve had finally grown to trust him not to lose his mind. The clearance had taken months to achieve and it had been a close call in the end. James had still managed it. He had managed to convince everyone he knew that he wasn't a flight risk and that he wouldn't haul off and randomly kill everyone in the Tower. It had been a long road to this, but he had done it.

He was safe here and no one was going to hurt him. No one was going to try and make him do anything he didn't want to. He was safe in the Tower. In his apartment. The past didn't matter here. It didn't matter.

Steve's image wavered in his mind as soon as his mind flashed to his friend, the proud grin on his face the day James had moved into his own apartment. Tall, broad, and almost impossibly blond, his cheeks started to sink in as James observed the memory. His large body shrunk almost a foot and, before James could blink, Steve was two heads shorter and fifty pounds thinner than could be considered healthy. His fragile bones stuck out from under pale skin and his blue eyes were the largest feature on his face. The clothing he had on was familiar, far too large and swamping his small frame. Hand-me-downs. James had given them to him after a particularly rough winter. They couldn't afford new clothing and James had enough to make it through anyway. It had taken some convincing, but James had convinced Steve to take the clothes without payment. Or was he Bucky?

Either way, it was his job to protect the little punk. They were best friends, brothers, and his job was to make sure that no one hurt him. Not to mention making certain that Steve took the appropriate medicine when he was supposed to. It was also to make sure that Steve didn't freeze on cold nights, even when James was so cold he could see his own breath. He could practically feel the freezing air on his skin, the sharp inhalations and shivers that always accompanied winter. Steve cocooned next to him in all the linens they had in their apartment, still shivering just as badly as Bucky himself. There were bad days, but that was what Bucky did. He protected Steve.

That wasn't his mission now, though. Steve could take care of himself, had proven it a million times while Bucky stood on the sidelines. Steve didn't need him anymore. He wasn't sick, he wasn't small. Instead, he'd been assigned to protect Evangeline. He'd failed. No one was left to be taken care of. He had failed when it had been most important. He'd lost her. He'd lost them.

Porcelain cracked, shattering as the sink gave way and Bucky fell to the floor, his own crimson blood splattering along the floor. Gritting his teeth, Bucky snarled as pain shot up his arm. A large gash crossed his palm, warm liquid sliding down his forearm toward his elbow. Sitting there, staring at the red that painted the floor around him, Bucky had a flash of memory painted in red. German soldiers attacking Captain America, guns going off in every direction and smoke clouding his vision. Bombs exploded not a football field away and Bucky sighted the enemy in his scope, breathing out in one low breath. There he was, sneaking up behind Bucky's best friend. Steve wasn't exactly discreet what with the red, white, and blue uniform, but that didn't matter. Bucky had his back, no matter what. Counting down, Bucky pulled the trigger, hitting his target dead on. Red, so much red, soaking through the blinding white snow…

"James?"

His name was Bucky and he was in the Army and the enemy was closing in. They were going to hurt Steve. Kill him if they got the chance. He couldn't let that happen. Steve might have been different, stronger, but he was the same little punk that got beat up in every alleyway in the city. The same fella who couldn't say no to a fight and always bought a dame a drink, even if they couldn't afford to buy their own. The same man that Bucky had shared a tiny apartment with in Brooklyn after his ma died. He was more important than Bucky's own reserves about the Army, his own fears about their mortality. Steve was just more important. If anyone was getting out of this hellhole alive, it would be Steve.

"James? Are you in there? I'm coming in, okay?"

The same Steve that needed his best pal to keep an eye on him. And Bucky had sworn that he'd keep him safe at Sara's bedside, her last wish entrusted into Bucky's hands. He wouldn't go against Steve's ma's last orders. He'd make damn sure that Steve made it home from the war, damn the consequences.

The door to the room he was in burst open and Bucky snapped back into reality, automatically reaching out to slam the door into the other person. They were already prepared and the door hit their forearm and bounced off. Ignoring the setback, Bucky reached out swiftly and snatched the person with his other hand, slamming whoever it was into the wall by their throat. One of his hands burned with pain, attempting to force his attention away, but Bucky simply ignored it. His other hand was working just fine and he could take care of it one handed if he needed to.

"James?" a small voice asked. Bucky stared down at the thin dame he had pinned to the wall, surprising causing him to blink. She was familiar in a way he couldn't put his finger on, something about the freckles on her cheekbones reminding him of someone.

The impression got stronger when the girl kicked out, slamming his knee to the side and almost causing him to drop her. The pain was a surprise; she put her weight behind the kick and didn't hesitate, didn't think before it happened. Before he could right himself, her hand popped up and she hit his wrist with the butt of her palm, the joint caving as she ducked out of the way, twirling off to the corner of the room they occupied.

Bucky turned immediately to face her, fists up in a loose fighting stance. He wasn't like Steve, martial arts never quite made sense to him, but he could hold his own in a fight. If he could get his hands on a gun, it would be easier, but the woman before him didn't go for a weapon. Where she would hide a weapon in the clothing she was wearing beat him. She was dressed in shorts with a tiny tank top, barely covering the essentials. There was absolutely no room to hide a weapon and he was shocked someone would have the gall to wear something like that around a man.

"Are you lost?" Bucky forced out, running a hand through his hair, surprised to find that it was fairly long. He desperately needed to cut it. How long had it been since the last time he'd gotten it done?

"James? Do you remember me?" she questioned softly, her voice low. Bucky frowned, unsure why she was calling him by his given name. Only his teachers called him James. He'd gone by Bucky his whole life and only his ma and sisters called him Jimmy. If she knew his ma, that might explain it. He still didn't remember her. And he would remember a dame with a face like that.

"You sure we've met, sweetheart?" Bucky clarified, lips tilting up into a confident smirk. It had been a while since he'd tried to flirt with a dame, but he still remembered how. In response, the woman before him smiled lightly, the worried look never leaving her eyes.

"Of course I'm sure we've met before. I'd never forget a jawline like that. I have a ridiculously good memory, you know," she informed him, relaxing her own position. Her arms fell to her sides, fingers uncurling. Bucky slowly followed her example. He kept his eyes on her face, trying to read her intentions. She was worried and the slight shiver at the corner of her lips showed that she wasn't all that amused by the situation. She wasn't calm, not like she wanted to seem, and it bothered him. Something was wrong. Why didn't he remember her? Who was she? Where were they?

"Bucky Barnes, ma'am," he introduced, just to reassure her. The woman raised one thin eyebrow that matched her orange-red hair, reaching out to take his hand when he offered it. Slowly, oh so slowly, their palms met, her hand rough against his own. Bucky frowned a little at the thought, wondering if she was working through the war as a nurse or something. They had a few nurses that served with them and he had never really thought about the danger involved. But how could a man look at his wife or daughter and want her to work until her hands were calloused and her feet were sore? Not to mention the danger that stalked the front lines on a daily basis. He definitely wouldn't choose that life for his ma or any of his sisters.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Bucky Barnes. The name's Nova, Nova Maddox," she informed him easily, shrugging her shoulders like she didn't care that he didn't remember. Bucky lost his grin as the name tickled his memory. It was uncommon to say the least. He had met a few Margarets, Catherines, and Ruths, but no Novas. Unless, of course, she was correct in assuming they had met before, meaning he did know one. But he was still certain he'd have remembered a face like that. "Holy shit, you're bleeding!"

Bucky jumped when the burn of pain ran up his arm, reminding him of the wound that had been bothering him. Something flashed before his eyes as he jerked his head down to stare at the hand that was clasped in hers, her fingers dropping him before she could do anymore damage.

Metal. Fingers wiggling before him. A man saying something in another language. A bright light he could barely see around. There were so many people and they were all staring at him, judging him. He didn't pause before he was moving, grabbing the closest man and throttling him the best he could. It felt good. The pain was an afterthought and, suddenly, Bucky was sure he wasn't Bucky. Never had been, not really. He was the Asset. And the Asset wasn't allowed warm hands or chocolate eyes or kindness. The Asset was meant to distribute pain, inflict misery. His one sole purpose was to change the world. That was why they had saved him and that was why he owed them.

His head slowly came up and he stared emptily at the woman before him, casting her name from his mind. Her name didn't matter. She wasn't supposed to be there, to be near him. If she got caught, she would be in terrible trouble and he couldn't allow it. Something about the chocolate eyes and gentle hands forced him to take a rapid step back, abruptly breaking off their connection. He practically scampered away from her, into the corner of the small room they were standing in.

"Uh, Bucky?" she called, her voice once again soft and nervous. He just stared at her, wondering what the best way to tell her to leave was.

Silence spread between them as they both stood on opposite sides of the bathroom. She was near the tub, a shattered sink in front of her. He put together that they were in some sort of bathroom and scowled, wondering why they would want him in the bathroom with her. Why would he need her in a bathroom? Women weren't allowed to work on him or his arm; they were too caring, too gentle. He didn't deserve that sort of treatment. He was an animal, a machine. She shouldn't waste her time with him.

"Get out," the Asset demanded. The woman before him froze, eyes widening in shock. She shouldn't have been surprised. She wasn't supposed to be there and she was breaking her orders. The only time he had been allowed near women was when he was training them. And that was only in one place, where little girls were trained to be spiders.

"So you're not Bucky. Okay, that's cool, though I kind of liked Bucky. He was a lot more talkative than you are on a normal basis and I kind of miss that honestly. If you remember this, I hope you remember that I managed to get out of your hold because I'm definitely bragging to everyone who will listen about that little piece of information. Back on track, you're not Bucky," the woman pointed at him and the Asset tensed, hand snapping out to catch her hand. His grip was bruising as his metal fingers clasped around her human ones, the heat of her skin registering against the sensitive plates on his arm.

The woman squeaked in surprise, automatically trying to wrench her arm away from him. He kept a firm hold, though moved with her. If he held firm, her fingers, hand, and wrist would all break. If he broke her, he would earn a punishment. Punishments weren't taken lightly and he desperately avoided them when possible.

"You talk too much," he bit out, face inches from hers. Her large eyes were the exact color of chocolate, staring straight at him. Freckles dotted her nose and her lips were thin, a perfect cupid's bow. Beneath her freckles, her skin was pale, dark circles lining her eyes. She was too thin, barely more than skin and bones. He had seen women like her before. Underfed and overworked, it was commonplace in some areas of the world. Mentally, he noted that she was speaking English with an American accent, the North East. The United States was one of the more developed countries in the world, but there were still people who went hungry, people who worked hard for little pay and couldn't buy food. Still, a smile lit up her features, starting in her eyes and spreading along her cheeks, down to her lips.

"So you've told me, multiple times. And I'm aware, thank you very much. If you're not careful, I'll take that as an insult one of these times," she teased, rolling those chocolate eyes. The Asset frowned tightly.

"It is an insult," he growled, dropping her hand when she went to move it again. The longer he was with her, the more certain he was that she had been sent in as his punishment. Not only did she talk more than almost anyone he'd ever worked with, she was passably pretty. The word he was looking for tickled the corner of his mind and he leaned in just a few inches closer, staring hard as her eyes jumped up to meet his.

That was it.

She was enticing.

The Asset wasn't allowed to touch, no one had given him permission and he would get in trouble if he so much as looked at her in a way that indicated he was interested. He wasn't interested. She was annoying and dangerous, she could hurt him with a look or a phrase and probably laugh about it later. Her smile was annoying and he wanted to wipe it off her face, choke her until the life faded from her eyes. He wanted to wrap his hands around her throat and feel her pulse slow, the warm skin cooling beneath his fingertips. He wanted to trace the line of her pulse with his fingertips, feeling the flutter of fear as he followed that line with his tongue.

"James?" this came out softer, gentler, and the resulting dump of information had the Asset falling to his knees, head in his hands as knowledge shuddered through his skull, blinding him for a moment as he tried to comprehend everything that was happening.

Images, memories, and information crowded his mind in a never-ending loop, reiterating what he should have known from the beginning. This was Nova, he was James, and this was his bathroom. Neither of them was in danger, they were safe, and he wasn't HYDRA anymore. He wasn't the Asset anymore and he didn't protect Steve anymore. Instead, he stayed at the Tower and helped the superheroes save the world when they needed him.

He wasn't the Asset or Bucky Barnes.

He was James.


	7. Not a Medical Doctor

**This one is more of Nova's reaction to all the stuff that went down with James, but it's still interesting, I promise. I'm getting a lot of responses to this and I can't thank you guys enough! A few people have even gone back to read Seraphim, so thanks so much! Also, thanks to everyone who keeps with it, I post every five days so keep that in mind. I can't wait to hear what you think in the future! Any questions, comments concerns, let me know!**

Nova chewed on her bottom lip as James collapsed to the floor, hands flying to his head. Blood still seeped from the open wound on his palm and she had to clasp her hands behind her back to keep from reaching out for him. Whatever was going on, it was something she was definitely not equipped to handle. In fact, it was like watching someone have a psychotic break. He'd really thought he was Bucky Barnes, which he technically was. But he had talked with an authentic Brooklyn accent from the forties, called her sweetheart, and swore he'd never seen her before in his life.

The most defining moment of that exchange, however, was the fact that she had broken his hold on her without breaking herself. He'd caved when she'd kicked his knee and knocked his wrist out of the way, the metal wrist that she had no chance of even hurting. And his fingers had still opened as though he was a regular man. If he had been himself, Nova wouldn't have been able to break his hold. She'd reacted on instinct alone when he'd grabbed her, but it had worked and that was what had thrown her off. James wouldn't have let her go so easily.

"Nova?" his voice was low and scratchy as though he hadn't used it in days. She stayed completely still near the corner of the bathroom until his head slowly came up and his grey eyes were focused on her, red now rimming the edges. His cheeks seemed to have sunken the last minute and thick strands of his hair were falling into his eyes, obscuring her view.

"James?" she asked just as softly as before, carefully watching the way his shoulders slump and he pressed his palms into the floor as though in prayer. The small crunch of glass breaking reminded Nova that there was porcelain all over the floor, his blood smeared along the tiles and through his hair.

"I didn't…" he trailed off and Nova carefully took a few steps closer, watching the sharp debris on the floor to make sure she didn't step on it. She wasn't sure what he was asking until his gaze flickers to her hand and then her throat, where he'd held her hostage. Whatever James said, he remembered what he'd done. That was progress, from what she'd heard. Steve had mentioned he locked himself away in his apartment when he was having bad days, but no one had told her about the identity issues. Maybe no one knew.

"Hey, we're both fine. Well, I'm fine. You're bleeding. Which doesn't really seem to concern you too much, but I'm a little worried because you're smearing it everywhere and I'm pretty sure you just ground some more porcelain into that gash. Why don't you get up and come over here? I'll grab a first aid kit and we can clean that out. I won't even make you go to medical," Nova promised. After seeing his reaction to Evie being in medical, she wasn't sure the nurses would let them back in. Nova had made a nuisance out of herself, but James had been terrifying. The nurses and doctors had been afraid to try and access Evie's room, which Nova didn't blame them for in the least. She wouldn't want to access a room either if a hundred year old assassin was sitting outside, looking for his next victim.

Slowly, oh so slowly, James pushed to his feet. Nova kept still as he took a step toward her, not flinching when more porcelain ground under his boots. She was thankful he was wearing shoes, glad they wouldn't have to deal with that mess. Her own feet were bare and she shoved that thought from her mind, hoping against hope that she wouldn't step in the mess.

When he was at his full height, he looked down at her, brow slightly furrowed and jaw slack. His lips were open slightly and he was watching her. Nova blinked up at him, making no move to reach out. If she tried and somehow brought him back to Bucky again, or, even worse, the Asset, she would never forgive herself. Then again, she wouldn't have to. If he went back to the Asset, the chances of her living through the encounter were less than zero. Especially after he'd ordered her to leave and, surprise, she hadn't.

Neither of them spoke as they stared at each other. It was surprising how different he looked straight out of a break. Sweat beaded along his forehead and his dark eyes were more intense, focused solely on her. The stoic expression on his face cleared a little and she could almost read his expression, almost get what he wasn't saying out loud. He thought he'd hurt her. He hadn't, but she could see the immediately worry in his subtle glance down her body. It wasn't the gross, lecherous look her first boyfriend had given her the night they went to prom and it wasn't the look of disappointment on Jas's face after an intense sparring lesson. It was the look of someone who actually cared if she was alive or not, cared that she could have been injured, even if she wasn't. Jas, for all his good intentions, preferred her to be capable and hurt rather than incapable and safe.

Nova's mouth opened, as always, to say something, anything, to break the silence, but James moved first.

A squeak of surprise left her lips as he grabbed her easily around the waist and threw her over his shoulder, her pelvis hitting his collarbone awkwardly. Huffing out the breath in her lungs, Nova reached out and steadied herself against his back, his prosthetic curling around her waist to hold her in place while he kept his other hand away from her.

His strides were calm and confident as he carried her over the tile and out of the bathroom, away from the mess on the floor and the blood that smeared the place. He didn't stop until they got to the bed, where he leaned forward and flipped her onto it, her back colliding with the mattress firmly.

"You know, a little warning next time would be nice. I have a sensitive stomach! Your shoulder is bony! You got blood on my pajama shorts!" Nova complained loudly, gratified when James's expression softened just enough that she noticed, the furrow in his brow evening out while he stared blandly down at her. If she needed to be loud and annoying for him to know she was perfectly fine, she could do that. "I have dignity, you know! I walked in there on my own, why wouldn't I make it out fine?"

"You're clumsy," James answered honestly, turning to go back into the bathroom. Nova rolled onto her stomach, pushing up to her hands and knees to watch him go. From the foot of the bed, she could see into the bathroom. She'd been in a flurry when she'd run into his apartment, intent on finding him after FRIDAY mentioned he was in trouble. The first thought she'd had was that he was being attacked by HYDRA. Grabbing a weapon would have been smart, but she hadn't had that much forethought. All she'd really managed to think was that Evie almost died keeping him from those sons of bitches, she wasn't about to let him return to them.

"I'll have you know I haven't fallen out of bed in almost two weeks!" Nova hollered back as he opened the cabinet over the sink and dug through the contents.

James shot her a dirty look over his shoulder, shaking his hair out of his face so she would get the full effect. Nova glared back, not the last bit cowed. If that was supposed to scare her, he was going to have to step up his game. She had two older brothers, an older sister, and a mama that, with one look, sent grown ass men running. A little bit of superhero glare wasn't going to scare her at all.

Instead of retorting, James pulled out whatever he was looking for and walked back out into his bedroom, holding out a rather large first aid kit. Nova took it, wondering if it was big because he got injured a lot or if it was his training showing through. Maggie had once told her about SHIELD training and having medical supplies on hand was high on the list of demands when going on a mission. Weapons, of course, were first, as was food and the like, but medical supplies were a very close second.

"You're not going to go all psycho on my ass and strangle me again, are you? Not that I'm afraid or anything, but I prefer advanced warning so that I can prepare myself with a few smartass responses. Do you think you'd be surprised enough by my mouth opening for me to get away? I think I could make a lewd enough joke to even shock your killer assassin sensibilities," Nova chattered, smirking up at him as innocently as possible. James closed his eyes for a moment, the look far too familiar for her not to laugh. How many times had her siblings or parents done the same thing? Asking for patience from any deity that was remotely relevant was something she had seen a multitude of times. It was more amusing to see it on a hundred year old super assassin.

"Why didn't I just kill you?"

"Because you enjoy my company," Nova answered immediately, smiling up at him perkily. James shook his head, but sat on the edge of the bed, holding his human hand out for her to see. With how much blood was smeared on the floor, Nova had expected the cut to be a lot deeper. The edges were jagged as though someone had just ripped the skin apart in a haze of fury. Blood still oozed from the cut, but it wasn't deep enough to see bone. In fact, it didn't look too deep at all. He could probably get away with just a bandage so long as he was careful not to reopen the wound a million times. Nova would have to keep an eye on him just to be sure he wasn't a carbon copy of his best friend and decided to do the exact opposite of his orders. Steve was a great, all-American hero, but he was a pain in the ass and reckless to boot. "Now, I'm going to clean the wound, dig out all the porcelain bits, and wrap it up. I don't think you'll need stitches, but I'm adding a disclaimer because I am definitely not a medical doctor. Get that? NOT A MEDICAL DOCTOR."

"Not a medical doctor," James repeated, rolling his eyes dramatically.

"I'm just making sure you know because I don't want to be sued if you get an infection and lose your arm. Your other arm? Hell, sorry, is that too soon?" Nova bit her lip, cursing her own stupidity. She made a joke about losing an arm. Really? To the one armed super assassin that had just barely restrained himself from killing her when he went berserk and broke the sink in his bathroom with his bare hands? How could someone be as stupid as she was?

"Are you done?" James demanded, wiggling his fingers at her. Determined not to shove her foot in her mouth again, Nova sucked her cheeks in and bit down, opening up the first aid kit and looking through the contents. First, she pulled out the peroxide, then the ace bandage wrap, and then the tweezers. She'd need somewhere to put the bits she pulled out of his skin and she wasn't really too keen about working on his hand over the nice, grey bedspread that they were sitting on, but he had chosen the spot.

"I'm going to put a little peroxide on. Do you want to get a towel or something? This is going to be a mess and a half and I don't want to ruin your comforter," Nova informed him, talking slowly as she carefully selected her words. James shot her an odd look, lips puckered just slightly and eyes narrowed before he shook his head.

"Doesn't matter," he muttered, shoving his hand closer to her.

"If you're sure…" Gently, Nova let his open hand rest against her palm. His skin was warm against her own and she wondered briefly if he ran hot like Steve did. Nova had never actually touched Steve. They talked to one another regularly because Evie was with him and Nova had seen him a lot in medical, but she hadn't ever shook his hand or given him a hug. Evie said he was practically a furnace in and of himself, so she could logically conclude James would be much the same. They were given the same serum. Well, James was given the bastardized version of it, but it was the same concept, according to most files.

"I am," he said it with such finality that Nova believe him and upended the peroxide over his hand. "Fucking hell!"

He jerked in surprise, eyes snapping open and pain flashing over his face. It wasn't a surprise to her. Once the adrenaline wore off, he would feel the pain more. It was a scientific fact, actually. But that didn't mean she didn't kind of find it funny that he'd jumped so high. He was supposed to be basically immune to most pain. She'd seen him get stabbed twice without flinching, but he was definitely not as tough now.

"What kind of language is that to say in front of a lady, hm?" Nova teased, grabbing some gauze out of the first aid kit and pressing it over his hand gently. He stilled as soon as she touched him, his entire body going rigid.

"You say worse," he pointed out, a low growl reverberating through his words.

"Of course I do. But you're the one who was raised on chivalry and good manners, not me," Nova reminded him, patting the area dry and trying to get most of the blood away. First aid hadn't been one of her strongest classes, but she was passable at it. There were a few bits of porcelain she could see and she grabbed the tweezers, looking up to see that James's face had paled a bit. "Listen, I'm not going to try and hurt you, okay? I just want to make sure I get the porcelain out so that you don't get an infection or something."

"Yeah, infection, lose arm, I remember," James bit out, teeth clenched tightly. Nova winced, wishing he'd just forget that little slip of the tongue. Why did he have to remember that, specifically?

"Okay, here we go. Let me know if you need a break or something. I'll try and be as quick as possible," she promised, tightening her hold on his hand just a little. It wouldn't stop him from pulling away from her. She wasn't strong enough to stop him. But it was a nice reminder that he needed to stay as still as possible without having to strap him down.

"Just…" he trailed off, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as if he wasn't sure he wanted to finish that sentence. Nova raised an eyebrow to prod him forward, waiting patiently for him to spit it out. "Just keep talking."

Okay, that wasn't what she was expecting. James hated her talking. She'd known that since the day they'd met. Hell, he'd told her, multiple times, that she talked too much. It was practically tattooed on her forehead at this point and he was actually requesting that she talk to him? Through something that would probably hurt him? Wasn't it going to be painful enough without her blabbering on about nothing?

"Um, yeah, of course," Nova agreed immediately, not sure how it would help, but willing to try it. Hopefully, this wasn't just an excuse to strangle her again. "So, I started working on this new prototype for the widow's bites…"


	8. Christmas Cheer?

**Song: Fix You by Coldplay**

 **TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety Attack Aftermath, Mention of Character Death (Agents of SHIELD SPOILER season 2)**

 **So, I'm trying this new thing where I'm going to post a song for each chapter. Now, I don't own the songs, lyrics, or anything you recognize in my stories, but I love when fanfics mention new music I can try out. All of the songs are going to pertain to the chapter that they're posted on and it would be cool to listen to them while you read, if you'd like. Sorry about being late this time around, homework and vacation kept me a day. There's family everywhere.**

 **Hope everyone likes this one and let me know what you think!**

James forced his eyes open as he let Nova's voice wash over him. Her story took on a steady rhythm, calming down the frantic beating of his heart. Letting her get close to him was never easy. The chance of her hurting him was slim, but he had seen that she had some training engrained under all of the nonchalance she radiated. When he'd thrown her up against the wall, she had reacted immediately like a seasoned professional, going for the weak spots of the body without fear or mercy. If she had to fight to protect herself, he now saw that she might.

It wasn't a comforting thought. Partly because he'd had to learn that by attacking her himself and partly because she still wouldn't survive an attack from him. Her form was firm, but sloppy. Any trained mercenary would see that she hadn't practiced in years. At one time, that reaction had been pounded into her, but it had long since evaporated into mist. If she wanted to be effective in a fight, she needed to train.

"I'm just going to take these few pieces out here and then I can wash it again. Are you still doing alright?" Nova looked up from her work, meeting James's eyes easily. As if he hadn't been a step away from murdering her less than ten minutes ago. As if his blood wasn't smeared across the side of her shirt. It bothered him how easily she seemed to forgive those oversights, as if they were small. If someone else treated her in that way, would she forgive them so easily too?

"Fine," James grunted out, holding his hand incredibly still. His muscles started to burn with the pose he was holding, but he pushed the pain to the back of his mind. HYDRA had taught him an important thing about pain: pain is just a message. He could choose to shut that message off.

"Okay, if you insist. So, I got a message from Evie," Nova started talking again, capturing his attention immediately. Steve sent a weekly itinerary with possible evacuation plans to James just in case something went wrong. He usually also got a quick message about their travels, but James only knew where they were, not what they were doing or if they were enjoying it. From the couple messages he himself had received from Evangeline, it was obvious that she was much more open and honest about their experiences and he wanted to make sure that they were alright. The entire vacation idea had come from a need to protect Evangeline while she healed. So far, it seemed as though the plan was working.

"And?" James prompted while Nova focused in on one small piece of porcelain that was stuck along the curve of his thumb. Every time he tried to move his thumb it throbbed, blood bubbling along the lines of the wound.

"And I actually got to video chat with her for a while. Considering I haven't seen her beautiful face in almost a month, it was amazing. They're in Australia right now. That was all I was allowed to know about their plans for the time being. But she said they're having fun. Her shoulder is still healing, she still has to wear the brace, unlike your BFF, who is now completely fine. There's also a wrap on her leg where the stitches were to keep everything in place. But it sounds like Steve is doing pretty good with her. Which you should be thankful for otherwise I'd highjack an Ironman suit and go beat him up," Nova laughed at her own joke, but James would pay money to see what Steve would do if Nova showed up in one of those suits.

Steve didn't like bullies. Nova wasn't a bully. She was hard headed and oblivious, but not a bully. So, if she went looking for a fight with him, would he humor her? Would he take it as a personal challenge? There was only one way to know for sure and James wasn't about to suggest she fight him. James himself was more dangerous than Steve, but Steve could easily hurt her as well. He was more sensitive to the human condition than James, but he could theoretically lose his temper and seriously hurt Nova.

"This one's pretty deep. Take a deep breath, yes…" Nova sucked in a breath with him, eyes wide as she stared down at the mess near his hand. Instead of fainting or puking, she gripped the tweezers tighter and plucked the porcelain out of his skin. "Oh, Heimdall, that was fucking disgusting. Why do I do this shit?"

"You're a doctor," James reminded her, just to keep her mind off of what she was doing for him. He could suggest she let him take over. It would be simple, he'd had to take care of himself before. He didn't need a nurse or anyone else making sure he was healing right. The Asset took care of itself. It had been trained to. If a doctor wasn't near, the Asset still had to keep moving, keep working toward its objective. Sometimes, that meant stitching up wounds or digging bullets out of its own flesh.

"I'm not a medical doctor, remember? I specifically told you that. Ugh." She shook herself out like a rag doll, starting at her shoulders down to her very feet as if she could shake off the entire memory. James wondered briefly if that worked for her and, if it did, how he could get her to teach it to him.

HYDRA may have taken all of his memories, but James wasn't quite sure he should be upset about that part of the equation. He was furious about what they had taken from him: his friends, a family, a life in his own time, but the brainwashing at least meant he didn't remember all the terrible things he'd done. The more he remembered, the more he wanted to forget. He hadn't been a good man, not in the least. Not like the man Steve talked about all the time. And James knew that deep in his very bones. He wasn't the man that Captain America needed by his side in war anymore. Drowning in so much misery, so much blood, how was he supposed to save anyone when he couldn't even save himself?

"Anyway, not the point. I talked to Evie and she thinks that they're going to make it back here in time for Christmas," Nova informed him, happiness practically radiating out. Her smile broke along her lips and James blinked as soon as he saw it.

"Christmas?"

"Yeah, you know, Christian holiday centered around the birth of Jesus Christ? I've heard some rumors that, scientifically speaking, Christ would have been born in the early spring, but there was a time when Christians were persecuted so they had to coincide their festival with the Roman holiday of Saturnalia. That's where some of the customs like trees and stuff come from," Nova informed him, obviously assuming he was asking about Christmas, not about what they were doing for Christmas. If he let her keep talking, she'd never stop. He didn't really want to know how much she knew about Christmas and the history of Christianity. Obviously not enough to realize that he celebrated Christmas as a child as well.

"I know what Christmas is," he barked, interrupting her rant. Nova's head popped up, eyes wide enough that he could see the whites easily.

James's heart almost stopped beating when he realized why she looked that way. He'd scared her. Bad enough that she'd quit speaking and was staring at him like he was someone she didn't quite know. It was definitely a look he didn't like.

"Um, well," Nova started, stuttering over her words. James sighed deeply, wishing that his life was easier than this. Gritting his teeth for a moment, he took a deep, calming breath, fighting back the immediate concern of having to speak. If he didn't speak, he couldn't fix what had just happened. Nova was a very verbal person. If he didn't explain it, she wouldn't understand.

"We had Christmas," he lowered his tone drastically, dropping his eyes from hers. This seemed to calm her a little, her fingers tapping on the back of his hand as she thought through what she was going to say next.

"I know, logically, that Christmas had been around a lot longer than you have. It's just… no one really knows how much you remember. And, since you don't talk much, it's harder to figure out what you do remember. And when you said 'Christmas' it sounded like a question, so I thought I'd explain a bit. Besides, even if you have had Christmas before, I'm pretty sure modern day holidays are different than anything the forties came up with. I don't know about your family, but mine goes all out. The kids decorate the tree, we decorate the house, there's food, booze, and a lot of drunk caroling. Not to mention the yearly snowball fight I always lose," Nova hummed a little as she grabbed some gauze and cleaned up the rest of his wounds. The more she talked, the less he felt the pain. If he kept her talking, maybe he would finally not feel it at all.

"You lose?" he asked, trying not to rub it in her face. He remembered snowball fights. They never lasted long, Steve couldn't keep up. He was always too small and he'd get cold too quickly. Lips blue, entire body shivering, they'd have to leave before the other kids. That was the best idea, though, because then their mas would give them hot chocolate and they'd get to build a couch fort.

Then there was a time when he was Bucky, during the war, that they got stuck in the mountains for three days. The Commandos took it as vacation time and they'd set up their tents close enough to share heat. Once the fire was set up and they were sufficiently covered from any danger, Dum Dum Dugan had started a snowball fight. He hadn't counted on Steve kicking up his shield to block the initial attack. Soon after, they were all involved. It was the first time that Steve and Bucky won a snowball fight. Turned out that super soldier strength worked well when throwing snowballs too. Dum Dum and Gabe got the brunt of their attack considering everyone else had the sense to back off. Winning had collapsed them into a heap of laughter and James would have frozen his life in that moment if he could have. Before HYDRA, before the Asset, before the pain. Steve was healthy, they had a bunch of friends who really saw the hero in Steve, and Bucky had been happy.

"I lose all the time. The teams are split differently each year. If I remember right, Evie's in charge of one and I'm in charge of another this time around. But no one ever wants to pick me because I'm not physically strong. Evie gets picked because she's the strategist. If I got picked at all, it was usually because Maggie felt bad for me. That, or Mama would shove me onto a team and have us go. My brothers hate having their little sister on the team. Even if I keep telling them that I'm an adult now," Nova complained, throwing away the blood stained gauze and pulling out a bandage wrap. James kept his eyes on her hands, trying to shove his memories of Bucky back and away. He didn't want to be Bucky right now. "Not that anyone cares. I'll probably have to sit at the kid's table this year too. At least Timmy, Pippa, and Avery will be there to keep me company. Timmy's my nephew and Pippa and Avery are my nieces."

"You have a child's table?" James clarified as Nova's thin fingers brushed over his, sending a shiver up his spine.

"Oh, yeah. When we first started having big Christmases, we'd do the Legacies. They'd come over and we'd have all the kids together so there were a billion people in the house. There wasn't enough room at the nice dining room table for everyone, so Mama and Grandma Angie decided to put up a smaller, longer table in the den, where they'd stick the kids. It was awesome when I was little. Sharon, Antoine, Lucy, Naomi, and I would all crowd one end and talk the entire holiday away. We also ate as much candy as physically possible without the adults noticing. And I'm not saying there wasn't a certain Christmas magic with that. But I'm the youngest in my generation, so the promise of going to the grownup table is basically a moot point now," Nova sighed heavily. Carefully, she positioned his hand so that she could finish wrapping it up, fingers gentle and smooth.

"Sharon? Antione? Lucy? Naomi?" James repeated the names, already guessing who Sharon was. There was only one Sharon he knew in this time and she was both a Legacy and a SHIELD agent.

"Naomi Morita is two years younger than me, I think. Sweet girl, she's one of the few who didn't go on to SHIELD. Right now she should be working on getting her degree to be a veterinarian," Nova explained, smiling lightly at the thought of the girl. "Lucy is a Falsworth, but her last name isn't. She's a year older than me and just got married. They went to Europe for their honeymoon. Antione…"

Nova trailed off, the smile slipping off her lips. James tensed, ready to jerk away if he was the problem. Instead, Nova tied off the bandage and patted his hand gently, her gaze focused on a single spot on the bed. It was a blood stain from his hand, but she seemed enthralled by the look of it. Yet her mind was far away. Sometimes, Steve got the same look. When he was thinking about Peggy Carter or some of the Howling Commandos. Usually it coincided with people who were long dead.

"Antione Triplett, he was one of my best friends growing up. He always wanted to be a Howling Commando, like our grandpas. Even had all the old stuff you guys used to use. He was fascinated by it, all of it. So when SHIELD showed up with an offer, how could anyone say no?" Nova blinked rapidly, curling her shoulders in and hugging her own waist. It wasn't cold in the room, but he could see her shivering.

"You don't have to…" James started, unsure how to end the sentence. You don't have to tell me? You don't have to hurt yourself for my sake? You don't have to pretend everything's alright when it obviously isn't?

"I'm sorry, I just haven't really talked about it with anyone. Antoine was a great guy and he deserved to live a long, full life. He was there, when this stupid alien science experiment called the Diviner was found. It gave Daisy Johnson inhuman powers. It turned Tripp to dust," Nova stumbled over her explanation and James's fingers twitched. Should he touch her? Would it calm her down? Steve always put a hand on his shoulder when he needed support, but James wasn't as close to Nova as Steve was to him. "The point is, he's gone now. It's hard to have a family full of people who go and risk their lives every day. I was bound to lose someone close to me. Anyway, why am I telling you that?"

Nova let out a sad laugh, eyes swimming in unshed tears. James frowned, wishing he knew what to do. She needed someone. But he didn't know how to be that someone.

Gritting his teeth, James reached out and took her hand in his human one, looking resolutely at the floor as he did. If she pulled away, he wouldn't blame her. How could he?

"You know more than I do about losing people, don't you? I'm sorry, I'm just not over it yet," Nova squeezed his hand lightly and James held on, glancing up at her face. A small smile tilted her lips, her chocolate eyes already on him. Something the way she said it was self-deprecating and he didn't like it in the least.

"It doesn't get easier," he informed her.

"What doesn't?" Nova asked immediately, cocking her head to the side curiously.

"Losing people. The people you care about, you'll still miss them," he nodded along with his words, knowing it was right. He missed people he couldn't even remember. He missed his old life, the people he had known. His ma and his sisters, all of whom were abstract memories in his mind. He missed Steve, before he had become Captain America. Back when he was a little punk from Brooklyn, all spunk and no strength. He missed Dum Dum Dugan, Jim Morita, Gabriel Jones, Monty Falsworth, and Jaques Dernier. He even missed Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. Maybe most of all, he missed the person he was when he was with them.

"That doesn't really make me feel better, but I know you're trying, so I'll accept," Nova shrugged a little, a smile lighting up her eyes. The smile on her lips was small, but he was learning to be able to tell the difference. "Now, you need a new shirt, I need a new shirt, and I think both of us could use a little sleep. I'm stung out if I'm talking about Tripp. Grab a shirt, you can stay in my apartment tonight."

James considered this, panic gripping him for one frantic moment. What if he hurt her? What if he woke up and didn't remember who he was? What if she accidently startled him and he lashed out? This wasn't a good idea.

Yet he still got up and followed her when she started out of his apartment.


	9. Breakfast Out of Bed

**Song: Something Beautiful by NEED TO BREATHE**

 **Hey everyone! Sorry I'm a day late, I just got back from vacation! Apparently, my cousin has decided I'm going to live with her as soon as she graduates high school. Oh well, she promised to take me to Hawaii, so who am I to argue? Anyway, thank you for all the reviews, glad everyone's still keeping up! As always, leave me any questions, comments, concerns. I love hearing from you guys!**

"Give me two seconds and I'll be out!" Nova called over her shoulder, ducking into the bathroom. As soon as she closed the door, the smile dropped off her face. What had she been thinking? Inviting the creepy assassin man into her apartment for the night? There wasn't even any food in the house. She hadn't been home in over a month and everything she did have was probably rotten at this point. "What am I doing? Why am I such an idiot?"

Cursing, Nova turned to the mirror and scowled. Blood marred her tank top, a nice stain where James had grabbed her to help her over the mess on the floor of his own bathroom. Peeling off the disgusting shirt, she spun to grab a washcloth out of the cabinet only to find that it was empty. A roll of paper towels sat inside along with a note that reminded her to go order some more in Evie's curly handwriting. Closing her eyes and counting to ten, Nova remembered why she'd refused to come home for so long.

"Okay, just clean up and go back out there. James is waiting and I need to be a good hostess now that I invited him. There should be extra guest sheets in the closet and it's not like he needs breakfast from my fridge. I can just take him out if he's hungry. There has to be coffee, Evie would never take the coffee, even if she did buy it," Nova muttered to herself, grabbing the roll of paper towels and trying desperately not to be bitter.

After cleaning up, Nova yanked on a new tank top, this one in dark blue. Wrenching open the door, she wasn't surprised to find that James stood like a silent guardian outside the door, his back to the hallway wall and his dark eyes focused on her. Hopefully, he didn't hear what she'd said. If he had, she would need to apologize. He didn't need to worry about her internal (or not so internal) freak out.

"So, this is the bathroom. The toilet works well, but the shower takes a bit to warm up. If someone flushes the toilet, the shower goes cold, but that's probably not going to be a problem. I promise fixing that is on the list, though. That's Evie's room. You can stay in there if you want to. I can make the bed. There are extra blankets and sheets in the closet here and it will only take a couple minutes. There's also a couch in the living room you can stay on if you don't like the bed. Otherwise we're sorely lacking in guest quarters. Also, if you take Evie's room, you get the en suite bathroom, which is super awesome," Nova trailed off when James just kept watching her, as if she was speaking a different language. "You okay?"

"Fine," he immediately answered, shaking his head quickly like a wet dog. Nova eyed him for a moment, wondering if he was lying. He'd just had a major memory lapse and it wasn't like she was equipped to handle a psychotic break.

"Um, if you want, I can call someone to come and get you. I know I'm not the best company after a memory lapse, I've never dealt with that sort of thing before so I don't want you to feel like you have to stay here or anything. I'm sure Steve would come back if you needed him. I have him on speed dial, just under Evie. Mostly so I can call and yell at him if something bad happens, but also for moments like this," Nova stopped talking when James shot her a glare that reminded her of why she didn't fight Russian assassins, the whir of his prosthetic breaking the silence as his fingers curled into a fist. "Or I could not do that…"

"Couch," he demanded, holding out his hurt hand palm up. Nova spun and opened the closet, pulling out a few blankets and an extra pillow. Those were stocked by Stark Industries, unlike the towels that Evie had brought from their last SHIELD assignment. The blankets that were in the closet were soft and thick, made for cold nights. Nova had one down on her cot and it was absolutely magical.

"The couch is this way," Nova waved for James to follow her, leading him out of the hallway and into the tiny living room. It was depressingly empty without Evie's stuff littering the side tables or her books lining the shelves. Nova's own books took up the bottom half of the shelves, most of them manuals or biology journals. If Nova had wanted to read a fiction novel, she'd have just stolen one of Evie's. Just another reason to hate the place.

"It's empty," James observed, motioning to the movie stack that was sorely missing some of Nova's favorite titles. He also pointedly looked at the shelves that were empty, probably realizing why. James was nothing if not observant. For the first time, Nova found it annoying that he noticed literally everything. Couldn't he pretend not to notice, just for the rest of the night? It was already four in the morning, just a few more hours.

"Yeah, I noticed. Now, this is the living room. My room is right over there. You can see it from here, see?" Nova pointed out the door to her bedroom, making sure that James looked before she moved on. Generally, he let her talk and maybe paid attention if he found interest. She didn't want him waking up, scared, in the morning and not knowing how to find her. That would be disastrous for the entire floor and Nova did not need Maria Hill's rage if something happened. "If you need anything, just come on in. I promise I don't have a knife under my pillow or whatever it is you crazy assassin types keep on you when you sleep. The door will be unlocked, so don't be shy. There are water bottles in the fridge if you get thirsty and there's coffee… somewhere. Are you going to be warm enough? There are more blankets. Or you could have one of mine. I have a shit ton."

James tilted his head to the side, dark hair falling over his shoulder as his eyes ran over her face quickly. Nova waited, sensing the wheels turning in his head as he tried to figure out what she was saying. Sometimes, he did that. She wasn't quite sure what part of it confused him, but there was enough time to figure that out later. For once, Nova was looking forward to falling in her bed. The cot was amazing, it was comfortable and warm, but there was nothing quite like her own bed.

"The blankets are fine," he robotically replied, still watching her like she might explode. Glancing down at her own arms, which were full of his pillow and a blanket, then to his prosthetic, which was carrying two more blankets, Nova had to admit that he was probably right. He'd served in Europe during winter, he'd probably be fine without a blanket considering the apartment was set at a balmy seventy two degrees. Still, she didn't want him to be cold or uncomfortable. There was only room for one uncomfortable person in the apartment and Nova had already claimed that title for herself.

"You know where you can find them if you need more. Which room is mine?" Nova quizzed, just to be sure he knew. James motioned toward her bedroom door, the first door on the right in the hallway, with his hurt hand. "Okay, just making sure you were listening."

"I always listen," he said with such finality Nova had no choice but to believe him.

"Get some sleep. I'm sure your apartment will be cleaned up by tomorrow, so you don't have to worry too much. Just get some rest and make sure you keep that wrap on. I don't want you bleeding out on my floor," Nova teased, sending him a small smile and hoping that he knew that she was partly serious. She'd seen him hurt before, but it wasn't the same. He hadn't recognized her. Not a bit. There had been no flash of recognition, no sign he even vaguely remembered her face. He had had no idea who she was. It had been more terrifying than she was willing to admit.

"You sleep too," he ordered, tone brooking no argument as he dropped his blankets onto the worn down leather couch Nova's mother had donated to them when she found out that they were getting their own apartment. Tony had been adamantly against the idea, but Nova loved the couch. It was the most comfortable she'd ever had and she wasn't about to turn it away.

"I'll do my best," Nova handed off the blanket and pillow she was holding before turning and going toward her own bedroom. When she glanced back, right before entering her own room, she found that he had dropped on top of everything, tucking his injured hand behind his head and staring blankly up at the ceiling.

Nova woke the next morning with a desperate need for coffee. Rolling through her blankets, she dug her head under her pillow and wondered if she could invent a robot like Dum-E but smarter. That could make coffee for her without her having to get out of bed. Honestly, having no robot was better than having Dum-E.

Groaning, she forced herself out of the warmth that had come to cradle her, reaching out blindly to try and find the edge of the bed. With a surprised yelp, she fell off the side, landing hard in a pile of blankets on the floor.

"Goddamn," she cursed, just lying there for a minute. Was it really worth the effort to get out of bed? She'd probably wake up to an empty apartment. After all, Evie was all moved out and it wasn't like James stayed in her presence long. He tended to appear and disappear like a ghost, she wouldn't put it past him to leave before she woke up. Hell, she wouldn't put it past him to have left right after she'd gone to bed. There was no way she would have heard him leave, even if she had been listening. It wasn't like she was keeping him captive anyway. He was there because he needed a place to sleep that wasn't painted with his blood. Hopefully, someone had bothered to clean that mess up.

Pushing up, Nova forced her body to function like a normal person, taking one step and then another until she was out the door of her bedroom.

As soon as she hit the living room, normal function stopped and her brain stuttered to a halt.

"Am I dead?" flew out of her mouth without a second thought. There, standing in her kitchen in a distressingly domestic scene, was Sergeant James Barnes, hair yanked back into a very clumsy ponytail with flour spilled down the dark red of his tee shirt and a pan sizzling on the stove. His blue eyes snapped to her and he froze, eyes widening a little as he realized she was awake and staring at him.

"No?" he murmured, sounding unsure about his answer.

Instead of responding, Nova took a moment to try and get her brain to catch up. She was a genius, goddamn it, it couldn't be too hard to figure out. James was in her kitchen, playing with the stove, and looking disarmingly adorable. Somehow, she was sure that a scene like this was highly illegal. Never had she ever had a hot man standing in her kitchen doing anything, least of all cooking. Which was definitely what James was doing, judging by the absolutely delicious smell coming from the stove. There was also an equally alluring smell coming from the coffee pot, but she could address that, repeatedly, in a minute.

"You're cooking. In my kitchen. How did you even find ingredients? Do you even know how to cook? How do you know how to use the stove? Are you sure I'm still alive? Because this kind of smells like how I would imagine Heaven would smell. Not that I would go to Heaven if I did die, I'm pretty sure Tony and I are first in line to rule Hell's legions. Besides, I would much prefer to go to Valhalla and feast with the warriors. Not that that matters because you're cooking," Nova continued, completely appalled. Wasn't there a rule against hundred year old super soldiers looking so good? Well, technically he was ninety eight, but she was rounding up. Still completely flabbergasted, she added: "In my kitchen."

"Pancake mix. That cupboard," James pointed toward the cupboard near the fridge, raising an eyebrow when she glanced at it dubiously. Okay, maybe Evie had left more unperishable foods than she had bothered to pay attention to. Was that cupboard always there? "It's the only breakfast food."

"But you know how to cook?" she asked again, just to clarify.

"Don't you?" James shot back, looking just as confused as Nova felt. Abruptly shy, Nova pursed her lips and looked away. "You don't?"

"No need to rub it in, Sergeant. I tried, but everything's all about timing and I get distracted too easily. I've been officially banned from the kitchen in the Dugan house because I got really into building a bot one day and forgot I had boiled eggs going. I almost burned down the kitchen and Maggie had to order a new stove," Nova complained, throwing herself dramatically into one of the chairs at the small kitchen table. It only had two chairs, but that was all she had needed. "My mama wasn't too happy about that and I haven't been allowed to cook since."

"How do you eat?" James blurted. Nova laughed at the surprised look on his face, not too offended. After all, he had a point. Back in his day, everyone probably cooked. Especially the women because feminism wasn't as big of a thing. Of course, the war boosted the feminist movement for a few years, but Bucky hadn't been stateside for all that. Unless someone had given him a crash course in feminism, he wouldn't know that nowadays, some women didn't cook.

"Takeout. Did you know that if you specify you work at Stark Tower you can get food delivered from Connecticut?" Nova hummed thoughtfully. That was the farthest she'd ever ordered out and it had been satisfying to know she had that much power. Of course, it had taken forever to get to the Tower, but it was the rush of it that was fun.

James pulled a face, scowling at her like he was somehow disappointed in her food choices. She'd gotten that look before multiple times, but it wasn't like she could change it. Cooking hadn't come naturally to her. Evie was the cook in the family, not Nova.

"I think that was the most extreme thing I've ever done for food. I mean, besides begging on my hands and knees to get Evie to make my grandma's apple pie for Thanksgiving two years ago. Grandma Angie was a damned good actress, but she was a better cook. I swear that her pie was divine. What's the most insane thing you've done for food? Come on, don't be shy," Nova leaned against the table and grinned at James, wondering just what he could come up with from back in the day. She'd heard all about the black market for food back during the rationing days of the war. Grandpa Dugan was full of intricate stories about bartering for whiskey, James had to have some good stories too.

"I killed an apartment full of people for a slice of bread," James informed her stoically, turning away when she blinked in surprise. Okay, that was her fault. She'd forgotten for a moment there that she was in the room with one of the most feared assassins in history. That was more sad than it was terrifying, though. Did HYDRA really not feed him?

"You know, I was going for something more light hearted, but we can talk about that too if you want. Must have been hard for a long time, fighting for everything you needed. I can't even imagine. And I can't believe HYDRA's nerve. Were they even human?" Nova asked, wishing that he didn't have to remember those bits of the past. All it was was pain. He shouldn't have to remember all the terrible things inflicted upon him. Logically, they made him who he was now and those memories were just as important as everything else, but Nova wished that he'd had a better life. She was happy to have him, but at what cost did his life come at?

James flicked off the stove and flipped something onto a plate deftly, walking toward her with prowling footsteps. She kept her eyes on his face, not bothering to check if the pancakes were alright. She'd eat them even if they were burnt into charcoal bricks. He'd made them for her and it was the first time he'd given her something. Even if it wasn't a large step for him, it was in their odd little friendship. She wasn't about to turn up her nose at his gesture, no matter if the food was good or not.

His eyes were dark, dangerous, a storm brewing just below the surface. Something she'd said bothered him and he was half Winter Soldier, footsteps deliberate and methodical. He didn't stop when he got to the table, slamming the plate down before her and leaning down close enough she could smell the coffee on his breath. His prosthetic whirred as he leaned down on it so that they were face to face. There was a stutter in the relay, the plates grinding just slightly against one another as he got so close that their noses practically brushed.

"Shut up."

With that, he turned around and stormed out.


	10. Christmas Invitations for All!

**Song: Thing For You by Hinder**

 **Sorry I'm continually a day late with these updates! Homework and sinus infections oh my. Thanks for all the lovely reviews, I've read all of them! Also thank you to all the follows, favorites, and all the readers! I hope you enjoy this chapter because it was super fun to write and I think it's funny. And cute, because James. (BTW, Thing For You is from Nova's POV in this chapter. Just an FYI) No one's commented on my song choices, let me know what you think of the songs too!**

"You know, Buck, if you're going to feel so bad about it later, maybe you shouldn't yell at her," Steve offered, his bright blue eyes staring at James through the screen of his Stark Pad. The video call had been initiated by Evangeline, who insisted James talked to Steve first and foremost before talking to her. After some mild cajoling and Steve admitting that Nova had already told Evangeline about his visiting her lab, James had admitted that he'd told her to shut up. "Nova can be a pain in the ass, but she means well."

James grunted in response, tapping his metal fingers against the kitchen table in his apartment. Someone had come in and cleaned up all of the porcelain the night before, also replacing the sink in his bathroom. The same person must have moved all of his blankets back to his bed as well as the pillows he'd stacked in the tub. There were two bathrooms in his apartment and James tended to use one bathtub as a bed and the other for showers. He'd have to move everything back to the way he liked it, but his annoyance ratcheted up a notch at just the thought of having to go through all of that discomfort again until he could find something that was comfortable.

"How's the Tower? I heard that Barton and Romanoff are coming back soon," Steve offered, still trying to start up a conversation. Sometimes James gave in and spoke to him. It was easier in some ways to pretend that they were back to the way they used to be, before James had become the Winter Soldier. It would never be perfect, but it gave Steve a sense of relief to think that he was healing. Still, the words lodged in James's throat, threatening to choke him as they stuck near his Adam's apple.

"You're coming back for Christmas?" flew out of his mouth without permission, his mind flashing back to when Nova had mentioned that they were going to get home by then. It was about three weeks away. Stark was nowhere to be found, so hopefully they wouldn't be forced to go to some publicity event for the Avengers. James wasn't really sure what Steve was doing for Christmas or if he was even invited. If his memory was right, they'd spent most of their Christmases together. Steve and his ma would go to his apartment with his ma, dad, and sisters and they would have dinner and open presents. There were never many, but it was a fun time. It was the one time all year where there was plenty for everyone to eat.

Steve's face dropped a little, the smile slowly melting off his lips. James stiffened, knowing that this wasn't going to be good. Steve was always trying to spare his feelings, but James should have known. He should have known that Steve would be doing something different in the future. When he'd been dating Sharon, she'd had to work for Christmas, so Steve and James spent the day at Sam's house. Sam had cooked them a traditional meal with all the fixings and they'd exchanged presents. James still hadn't been very good at picking things out and ended up giving Sam a gift card and Steve a new pistol. It had been almost like old times. It had a laid back atmosphere that had kept James at least content in the holiday, if not enjoying it.

"I meant to talk to you about that, Buck," Steve started. The tablet's view shifted and suddenly Evangeline was there, smiling softly into the camera. Steve moved a little to accommodate, his gaze immediately snagging on Evangeline as if she was the only person he could see. James looked at her too, but for a different reason.

Evangeline looked better. The bruising on her face had vanished and James swore that she was smiling more. Right after the attack, she hadn't smiled as much as she had before and it had bothered him. He'd been keeping a close watch and all the small details nagged at him, demanding his attention. But she was healing. The color was back in her cheeks and her eyes were brighter, smiling at him as she reached out, probably taking Steve's hand in hers.

"I know this is a little late since Nova kind of spilled the beans already. I didn't really expect you two to talk, honestly, what with her holing up in her lab all the time and you working on missions. I know she talks a lot, but she's really trying hard to be friendly," Evangeline explained quickly, watching him with an amount of concern that he didn't deserve from her. He'd almost gotten her killed. Every time he noticed a scar or a bruise on her he remembered the horror of almost getting her killed, the sense of deep self-loathing swirled in his gut. James clenched his jaw to keep from vomiting, nodding tightly to acknowledge her claim.

Of course Nova was trying to be friendly. Evangeline and Nova were definitely two different people, but they had some of the same personality traits. Just like Evangeline, Nova preferred helping people to hurting them. He wasn't sure if it was a trait they had in common originally or if they had learned it from Nova's family, but he had definitely noted the differences and the similarities in their mannerisms.

"Instead of staying at the Tower or going to Sam's this year, Evangeline invited me to go with her to Nova's family Christmas," Steve explained, holding back a wince. The elevator made a whirring noise, catching James's attention before he could decide how to react to that news. The light above his elevator, a contraption that was added by Stark when he'd almost killed Barton for barging into his apartment one day, lit up. James pulled a knife silently, glaring at the elevator doors.

"Buck? You okay?" Steve's voice came out of the device, slightly tinny from distance. James ignored him, slowly pushing up into a standing position. Bending his knees slightly, he braced himself, the knife hilt a comforting weight in his hand. If it was some intern, the least he could do was scare them off. No one was supposed to be on his floor, especially not someone he could easily hurt.

The doors slowly slid open, but the person inside burst out in a flurry of activity before they could open all the way, red-orange hair flying as she stumbled through and shot him an excited grin.

"Hey, I know you were kind of mad at me yesterday, but I thought maybe you'd want to come hang out in the lab with me for a while. I got some more Frank Sinatra songs I thought you might like as a thank you for earlier. I didn't mean to make you angry or anything. Plus, I was hoping you might take a look at a few prototypes I have because you're like the best weapons expert in the building right now. But I'm still totally sorry for what happened," Nova babbled, walking straight up to him. She wasn't the least bit intimidated by the hunting knife he was holding. In fact, her eyes never strayed to it once. She was looking around his apartment as if she'd never been in it before.

He knew she'd been in it two nights ago, when she'd pulled him off the floor and cleaned him up. Obviously she hadn't been paying close attention because she looked amazed by the setup of his living room, which looked kind of like an armory with weapons lining the walls. They were all carefully placed in specific spots. The couch and the TV were the only furnishings and James hadn't bothered to get a coffee table or even a DVD player. His Stark Pad was all he had, set up on the desk that held all of his memory notebooks. The rest of the apartment was empty, aside from the small kitchen, which held all the food James decided he liked in this day and age.

"Nova?" a voice came from the Stark pad James had set up on the desk and he moved at the same time as Nova did. Only, he just tucked away his knife and glanced at the screen to see that Evangeline had taken over the tablet, looking completely confused. Nova dropped into the chair James had been sitting in and grinned at her best friend, shoving her mess of hair away from her face. James itched to reach out and touch it. It looked cloud soft, sticking up in every direction with only the glasses on top of her head to hold the mess away from her face. The glasses were a marbled pattern that was easy to see, perched right in his view.

"Evie! I didn't know you were talking to James. Sorry, I kind of burst in. How's the vacation?" Nova asked, rolling herself closer to the desk. James caught the back of the chair to stop her momentum before she could run into the desk, holding firm so that she wouldn't twist the chair in any weird way and break it. It seemed like something she could do.

"It's going great. We were just talking about our plans for Christmas," Evangeline explained, a smile turning her lips up as Nova nodded happily. James relaxed a little, wondering if this year he'd be on his own for the holiday. It didn't really matter. Christmas was just another day, really.

He'd been a Christian before the war, he knew that. Went to church every Sunday with his ma and sisters when he was young. He'd even gone with Steve after his ma passed on. But James remembered some of the teachings and he knew that God would never accept someone who had done the things he had. One of the ten commandments was 'thou shall not kill'. And James had broken that commandment more times than he could even remember. Christmas was a religious holiday and James wasn't sure what he thought of religion anymore.

"Did you tell him?" Nova asked, completely ignoring James. He was fairly used to it and didn't get offended, instead reaching out to tug on a strand of her wavy hair with his human fingers. The strand was soft and silky, even softer than he'd imagined. He wrapped the ends around his fingers, oddly entranced with the kaleidoscope of colors just one strand had in it. Nova hand jumped up and she caught his fingers, stilling his movements. "Just a little softer. Kind of tugging a bit, dude. It's fine, but be a little gentle. My hair is attached to my head."

"We… We told him we were spending Christmas at your place," Steve's voice came on, sounding slightly confused. His face appeared a moment later, catching James's attention as he slowly detangled his fingers from Nova's hair and patted it back down on her head. Steve was staring at him like he'd grown another head and James actually rubbed his human shoulder with his metal hand just to be sure he hadn't. No one was sure what HYDRA had done to him, so it was a possibility, no matter how remote. He wouldn't put it past them.

"Mmmm," Nova hummed, spinning in her chair. James managed to dodge, barely avoiding getting kicked in the shin when she abruptly stopped, facing him. He stared right at her, his eyes drilling into the chocolate brown of hers. Her eyes reminded him of hot chocolate, warm and inviting. There was something about them that caught and held his attention every time he looked at her, like a strong magnet. Maybe it was the unfiltered emotion. Maybe it was that she didn't judge him. Maybe it was because he really liked chocolate.

"Nova, you should be more careful doing that. You're going to hurt someone. Or yourself," Evangeline spoke up and James ignored her, waiting as Nova looked him over. She turned a critical eye to his hair, wrinkling her nose a little at the sight of the mess on his head. Her eyes dragged over his forehead, eyes, nose, and cheeks, noting the stubble that he hadn't bothered to shave. She paused at his lips and her own twitched just lightly, pulling his eyes to them.

Nova continued down, looking over the tight shirt he'd dragged on that morning, paired with the grey jogging pants he still hadn't changed out of. He stiffened uncomfortably as her eyes snagged on his chest, drawing lines over the visible muscle. She went all the way to his feet, which were shoved into a pair of thick socks that he'd gotten from Steve when he'd found out James hated the cold almost as much as he did.

"I guess you'll do. I mean, you'll have to let me do something about that hair and you seriously need a shave, but I think I could have you ready in time to go. Then there's the wardrobe. That will only take a day or so though, so no need to worry. As long as you promise not to freak out and kill everyone in the store at least," Nova muttered, chewing on her bottom lip. James had no idea what she was talking about and shot her a glare because he felt like he should be at least slightly insulted. He made sure to add a little extra annoyance to it, just to see if it would make a difference. It didn't. "Oh, don't be Grumpy Cat. I'm just saying. Okay, it's officially decided. We leave the twentieth!"

Nova spun back around to face the Stark pad where Evangeline was visible, eyes wide and nose wrinkled up. Steve sat next to her, his own glare firmly in place and aimed at Nova. The woman didn't seem the least bit concerned with either look, instead grinning happily at Evangeline and Steve.

"What? I don't see why James can't come. We're friends. Well, ish, but whatever. Small details. Besides, this way, Cap can have his BFF with him instead of having to come into the chaos on his own. You really want to feed him to the wolves like that? My sister will eat him alive given half a chance. And you've seen Mama take on men who are bigger than him and come out on top," Nova continued to chatter, James finally picking up on what she'd just signed him up for. Christmas. With her family.

"No," James blurted. It came out sharp and Nova jumped a little at the sound before glancing over her shoulder at him.

"Don't be such a party pooper. It'll be fun. Remember? Eggnog, bad caroling, and lots of presents. You'll fit in great. There's always a tournament we do with anyone who stayed for a few days to see who the best fighter is- I bet you'll win this year. Jas won last year on a technicality. Mama usually wins. Grandpa hasn't fought in a long time, but he used to win all the time when I was really little. Tony's not allowed to play, though. He cheats," Nova informed him, waving off his denial. James narrowed his eyes into his best deliberately terrifying glare, but Nova just raised a challenging eyebrow.

"I'm not family," he bit out, scowling.

"Yeah, you are. Remember? I'm a Dugan," Nova motioned to herself and James felt his confusion immediately sprout. The name was familiar and he'd heard it before, but where? The only thing he was sure about in Nova's sentence was that she wasn't a Dugan. Her last name was different.

"You're Dr. Nova Maddox," James repeated immediately from memory. That was what the AI in her lab called her. And she had admitted to being the doctor that the AI was talking about, which meant Maddox had to be her last name. And, if he remembered right, she'd introduced herself with that name more than once. Normally, she left off the title of doctor, but James figured she'd earned it and he wouldn't leave it off. He respected that she had worked hard to become a doctor and it was disrespectful not to mention that part when referring to her.

"Well, my dad's last name is Maddox. My mama's a Dugan. You remember Dum Dum Dugan, right? Howling Commando? Smartass extraordinaire?" she prompted, looking incredibly curious.

Pain filled James's head as a memory flashed before his eyes.

Kind blue eyes under a bowler's hat that pressed down red hair. Grinning lips as the man jumped right into the gunfire, shooting a gun like a madman and laughing as he did. The taste of whiskey on his tongue and warmth spreading in his stomach. A hand clapping his shoulder as the man took the drink out of his hand and took a swing, not even scowling at the burn of the alcohol down his throat.

"Nova! You know you're not supposed to just tell him that!" a sharp reprimand broke through his memory and James reached out, grabbing the back of the office chair Nova was seated in and jerking it back, away from the voice that promised repercussions. Nova squeaked in surprise, grabbing onto the seat of the chair to keep from falling off.

"It's not a big deal. James remembers, don't ya?" Nova tilted her head back to look up at him, completely confident that he remembered the man she was talking about. James grit his teeth and swallowed hard, aware that she wasn't his only audience as of now. It would be easy to say yes to Nova, who would believe him implicitly, but it was harder to answer her when there were people who would question his memories and motives a hundred times before they were through.

"He was… my friend," James managed to push out, knowing that it was right as soon as the words left his mouth. Yes, Dum Dum had been his friend. One of the best, if the warmth he remembered meant anything. Then again, that could have been the whiskey.

"And he's my grandpa. Grandpa Dugan. He's ninety eight years old but pretty spry for a man who hasn't gotten one of your super soldier serums," Nova teased, grinning happily. James felt a bolt of warmth, kind of like the one that ran through him whenever he remembered Dum Dum. She believed him. And she was happy that he remembered her… her grandfather. James remembered a man who was a little older than himself, all smiles and recklessness. Now that he really thought about it, it wasn't as surprising that Nova was related to Dum Dum.

"He's… okay?" James finally asked slowly, frowning at the thought. Most of the people he knew had died. Steve was still alive, but James was different now. Would Dum Dum even want to see him? It had been so, so long. James had hurt so many people in their time apart.

"Oh, he's great. He always says he's had a great life. Mostly after half a bottle of whiskey, but whatever. He's the best guy I know. Including my dad. Grandpa never made me go to my room after blowing up another toaster. In fact, he insisted I show him exactly what I did to get that result so he could mimic it later," Nova hummed, leaning back in the chair she was perched on.

"Your dad had every right to put you in your room after that. You singed Elise's hair!" Eve called out from the tablet. Nova cackled like a bad villain, throwing James a wink.


	11. Sticky Fingers

**Song: For You by Keith Urban**

 **So sorry I'm late! I'm going to one of my best friends' weddings and it's out of state, so I've been super busy and will continue to be the rest of the week. I'm popping this one out for you right now so that I'm not even later. I love all of the reviews, thank you so much! Also thanks to everyone who faves and follows. I know I say that every time, but I really do mean it. Also, if you read this little bit where I just talk randomly, I love you extra. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was so much fun to write. Any questions, comments, concerns, let me know!**

"You can't just tell people what they're doing or what they're not doing, Nova," Steve broke into the conversation as Evie and Nova argued about whether or not it really counted as singeing Elise's hair if Elise was the one who ran in after the explosion and just got too close. Nova turned her attention to him immediately, wrinkling her nose in a move that drove her mother crazy.

"I did it for you, you dumbass. Do you really want to have a Christmas without your precious sidekick?" Nova asked seriously, raising an eyebrow and ignoring Steve's blatant eye roll at her use of words.

"I'm not his sidekick. That's Sam," James interrupted, pulling a startled laugh out of Nova. Sam and James had a weird relationship that Nova didn't quite understand. Mostly because she'd only seen it like once and that was over a screen. Evie had tried to explain it more than once, but it didn't quite make sense even then. Mostly, Nova got the idea that both friends were slightly in love with Steve and more than a little jealous of each other. But they didn't quite hate each other. It was more of a brotherly relationship, both of them overly protective of Steve (the little brother) and competitive for his affections.

"Would you stop ragging on Sam?" Steve complained across the screen, though Nova noted that it took him a shocked second to gather his words.

"No," James shook his head resolutely, looking down at Nova when she tilted her head back to look up at him. His blue eyes were wide and it was like he was expecting her to say something about his relationship with Sam. Then again, Nova almost always had something to say, so she couldn't really blame him for having expectations.

"Sam seems pretty cool. Maybe he'll want to stop by for Christmas too. Steve, you know what he's planning?" Nova turned back to the screen, eyeing the man who was now taking up most of the screen. Evie was fiddling with something else, probably sending an email or running a mission in her downtime. Nova wouldn't put it past her to still be working for SHIELD. No one had ever really put in her resignation. Evie had kind of just left and Maria had accepted that. There was an open invitation back, but Nova hadn't talked to her about it yet.

"I think he's planning on being with his grandma this year. His wingman, Riley, had a sister that Sam sometimes sees on holidays too. She might be there," Steve explained. Nova vaguely knew about Sam's past as part of a pararescue unit. His wingman had been knocked out of the sky and Sam had never gotten over it. He was working through it though, and Nova figured that was important. Working through it was about ten times better than some of her family members were doing.

"That sounds sweet. I bet he's excited. You can still invite him if you want. Basically everyone is invited," Nova explained, waving a hand in the air above her head. She smacked James with it on accident, flinching away and spinning to make sure she hadn't hurt him. Thankfully, she seemed to have just hit him in the chest and he didn't look the least bit put out, instead still focused on Evie and Steve.

"Are the other Legacies coming this year?" Evie asked, leaning into Steve to see them. Nova contemplated this, not completely sure. Maggie usually sent her a list of presents to get and everything, but she hadn't yet. The family was all going to be there, that was a given, and Evie and Steve and James were all coming. Even if she had to get down on her hands and knees to beg James to go, he was so going. Tony was going to be there, absolutely. Otherwise Nova was going to steal an Ironman suit and go get him. Sharon would probably show up. Her parents had died when she was in the Academy, so Peggy had been her only relative left the last few years. They'd spent holidays together when they could and if one was busy the other came to the Dugan Christmas. Sharon was the only one left. If she wasn't working, Nova was fairly certain Sharon would show up.

The rest tended have their own family Christmases. Sometimes a stray lamb would find its way into the festivities, but Nova was almost certain that wouldn't happen if they gave out the warning of their guests early enough. No one in the Howling Commandos would be stupid enough to sneak up on a fortress that James Barnes and Steve Rogers were guarding.

"I don't know. I mean, Renee will probably be there. When she's not saving your ass on missions, she's basically the head of our medical center. And she'll want to see how you're holding up after being beaten to death. My brothers and sister will be there, along with the wife and the kids. Tony is definitely going to be there; he owes me a few Christmas gifts. Sharon might stop by since she doesn't really have anywhere to go now and Mama's definitely inviting her." Nova paused when Steve's shoulders tensed and his jaw clenched, entire posture going rigid as he pulled his arms in to cross them across his huge chest. The chair Nova was sitting in moved back on its own and she blinked up to see that James was contemplating the situation, his prosthetic on the chair. "But all the Legacies get an invite, you know how it goes. Maggie mentioned inviting your friends, Evie. If you want to invite Natasha and Sam, I'll invite Clint and badger Tony into coming. Hell, maybe we can get the wonder twins in for Christmas."

"You know what happened with Sharon…" Evie started, trailing off when Nova sent her a look.

"I know exactly what happened with Sharon. She dated your man, fed information on him to the CIA, which was her job, and he took personal offense. And I know this not because I'm BFFs with Steve, but because Sharon called to unload after it happened. Turns out that she can't trust many people to keep a secret like that. Either way, I don't see the big deal. It's not like she's tried to kill him," Nova flicked a pointed look at James, who promptly ran his hand up her hair backwards, throwing all of the messy strands over her face in retaliation for the very obvious implication that _he_ had tried to kill Steve multiple times and they were best friends still. "James!"

"Oops," James muttered in a very unconcerned tone.

"Don't be an asshat; at least let me go so I can fix it!" Nova complained about the cool metal that was still touching her scalp. It was rigid and firm, but not uncomfortable. The plates moved to adjust, allowing him to be far gentler than she'd seen from him yet.

"Say goodbye," James demanded.

"Goodbye, best friend in the whole entire fucking universe and all the other universes! You're my best friend here, you're my best friend on Asgard, you're my best friend on Vannaheim, you're my best friend on the Frostgiant world-"

"She gets it," James interrupted, tapping his index finger against the top of her head.

"Fine. Bye my love, my beauty, my joy in life. And, I guess, bye, Captain Underpants," Nova trailed off, smirking under the mess of her hair. It was so much fun to fuck with both Steve and his best friend. James had to be by far more fun than Steve, though. Steve tended to act like an adult every two seconds instead of taking in the atmosphere and letting a little bit go. James at least had a small sense of humor and would let Nova tease him until he got too annoyed to handle it.

"Buck, don't hurt-"

The sounds shut off before Steve could finish the sentence, but Nova figured she knew what he was going to say. Don't hurt the poor fragile human that walked into your room. Sometimes, she felt like some strange animal around all the superheroes and enhanced individuals. Like a little tiny, fragile, new born puppy. Okay, to be honest, she'd never had the feeling around James, but that was probably because she was always goading him into noticing her.

"You know, you can let me go now," Nova informed him, head still tipped down at an uncomfortable angle. Nervousness set her on edge as she tapped her feet in quick succession, fingers tied tightly together in a knotted fist. She couldn't see anything around her hair, just the play of light and shadows across the chaotic locks. James shifted behind her, gently positioning the chair she was in differently and Nova froze. Her eyes flashed shut and she swallowed hard, forcing herself to be ready for whatever was to come. Because she had a bad feeling that it wasn't going to be good.

"I would… let you go. But there's a problem," James spoke in a low, slightly wavering voice that Nova had never heard from him before. Oh, god, had he decided to kill her? It would be easy in his apartment, there were probably loads of blood stains and he could just, like, stuff her in the fridge and be done with it. No one came to this floor and no one would know she was gone for over two weeks, when she didn't show up for Christmas. Even then, it could be explained away.

"Problem?" Nova asked, wincing when her voice rose an octave.

"You know the plates in my arms…" James started, going slow so that Nova could answer.

"Yeah."

"There are smaller plates on my palm and fingers… Sometimes, if I'm not careful, things get stuck in the plates," James explained. What could he possibly get stuck in the plates in his hand? A napkin? A peanut? Maybe a tooth pick? That was almost hilarious to think of HYDRA's greatest weapon trying to pry a tooth pick out of his palm. Nova struggled to figure out how this related to her, considering she definitely did not have a tooth pick and he didn't even like it when she was near his metal arm.

That was when a light tap came on the top of her head. The light bulb switched on in her mind and she jumped, bolting to her feet.

"You got your goddamned metal prosthetic stuck in my hair!" Nova shrieked, ducking when she almost ripped her own hair out to get away from James. He lunged to keep up, catching her arm with his human hand and holding her in place with his large blue eyes focused on the mess with a frown. "My hair is attached! To my head! How did this even happen?! How are we going to fix it?! Does it come out? Do you know how to get it out? Has this happened before? I'm not shaving my head. My mama would murder me in my sleep if I did."

"Calm," James soothed, dragging her closer to him so she couldn't keep pulling away. It felt like some individual hairs had gone deeper than others and Nova winced, tears stinging the corners of her eyes as she started to really feel the pain. James led her over to the couch that made up his living room. The decorations were simply weapons systematically placed along the walls. Nova had been shocked by it when she'd come in since she hadn't really looked the last time she'd been in there. Now, it kind of made sense. He was a meticulous sniper and his weapons needed to have some order.

"I don't know what others have told you, but I do not do calm well unless I'm in the middle of a fucking mission. And, even then, Evie does eighty eight percent of the work. How am I supposed to be calm about this? Your hand is stuck and my head is starting to hurt and I just really don't want to have to cut it off," Nova complained, trailing off to sniffle a little. James shifted his hand and a sharp bolt of pain ran through her, causing her to bolt upright and slam back into James's chest. He was perched on the arm of the couch, Nova sitting down right in front of him.

"Deep breaths. It'll be over soon," James murmured as he shifted closer and started carefully working on her hair. His heat radiated through both their shirts, warming Nova to the core. His large body hovered over hers, curled around in an almost protective gesture while he attempted to detangle himself. He was kind about it, gentle as he took certain pieces of hair and tried to untwist them.

"I can't believe this had to happen while we were chatting with Steve and Evie. I'd have personally preferred to just go straight to my mama and show her how big of a disappointment my hair is than to have your best friend see that," Nova complained. Not because she was particularly upset about it, but because she knew that this was not the end of this conversation. Two floors up in her tiny apartment, her Stark Phone was probably going off like crazy as Evie and Steve tried to contact her since James had cut them off, Nova could feel it happening. "Maybe I should just chop off all my hair. I bet I would look cute with short hair. I wouldn't have to worry about it getting stuck in shit like this anymore."

"Steve will be fine," James shrugged off the entire conversation, his fingertips feather light on Nova's scalp as he figured out how to twist and manipulate her wavy locks to do as he wanted. Nova tried to sit still while still getting the point across that he was full of shit.

"Steve is probably calling me a million times this minute freaking out that I hit you and you're going to murder me and it's going to be all my fault! How dare I make friends with his bestest friend? How dare I try to be nice to someone I vaguely know! It's the end of the world," Nova cried dramatically, throwing herself back into the couch. Sadly, she forgot where she was and ended up throwing herself into James. "And then I'll have to explain that you didn't kill me, obviously, and that you just got your hand stuck in my hair, which will be a treat because I'm sure that Steve will claim I'm lying about that tidbit."

"You wouldn't be," James reminded her, his distraction obvious as he pulled a little bit on her hair. Nova flinched but held incredibly still, wanting this over as soon as possible.

The problem wasn't being close to James. Well, it was and it wasn't. She didn't mind being close to him. He was warm and strong and definitely good looking. But he kind of freaked her out. Mostly because she knew he wasn't attracted to her in the least and that was kind of sad if she dwelled on it. He was just so… ugh.

"Yeah, but it's not like I'm going to have any evidence to back up my claim. And you're not the most personable dude out there. Steve will probably think I somehow figured out how to turn you off and decided to push the button for shits and giggles," Nova sighed deeply, biting into her bottom lip and hoping like hell that Steve would believe what happened. She didn't really blame James for hanging up on Steve, she'd done it enough times that it was practically part of their phone conversations, but it was going to be a bitch to calm him down.

"He'll believe you," James informed her seriously, his answer one hundred percent certain. Nova wanted to glance at him and twitched, almost turning her head before James's human hand grabbed her chin from behind to stop her. "Stay still."

"I'm trying!"


	12. Bad Hair Day

**Song: Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson**

 **Hey, everybody! So, This one is super emotional and cute and I just love it so much. And, you get to find out what's going on with Nova's hair, which is totally the most important part. Lol. Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, follows, and anyone who reads. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story. I hope you continue to do so. Let me know what you think! I love hearing from anyone and everyone. Also, listen to Beautiful Disaster, it goes so well with this chapter!**

James carefully sorted through Nova's hair, concentration centered on freeing himself and making sure that Nova sat still and didn't pull away from him. It wasn't that it bothered him that she was moving— she was always moving. He was more worried about accidently ripping pieces of her hair out. Pulling hair was painful. He'd had people pull his hair in fights before and it felt like someone was burning his scalp while simultaneously stabbing him with a million tiny needles. Even if it would be easier just to rip her hair out of her head, he wouldn't put her through that sort of torture.

It had been almost two hours since they'd originally sat down and she was almost free. Her head was resting against his knee, his Stark Pad now in her hands so she could keep herself entertained. For the first hour, they'd watched cat video upon cat video. Apparently, the internet was full of them. It was amusing, but he'd kept that to himself. Nova had enough information on him; he didn't want to give her anymore.

"Um, Steve's messaging you again," Nova hummed, half asleep as she scrolled through some social media page she had. It wasn't safe to have her profile out on the World Wide Web, but she'd just shrugged at him and pointed out that she hadn't put her real job on the page. Arguing hadn't seemed like a good idea when she was so close to him, so he had let the matter go for the time being. "You'd think he'd have gotten bored by now. This is message fifty three. Are you sure you don't want me to answer him? Honestly, he's a little obsessive, but he's just worried about you."

"I'm not a child," James scowled, pulling another chunk of Nova's hair out of one of his finger plates. Just a few strands left and he could tell Steve to back the fuck off. It was like the man thought he couldn't defend himself, which was downright insulting. As if Nova could hurt him in any significant way. She'd spent ten minutes replaying a video of a cat running into a wall after a laser dot, obsessing over the math to figure out if the cat was hurt. (The cat wasn't hurt.)

"Definitely not a child. I completely agree," Nova informed him, curling up a little tighter on his couch. Against the brown leather, her red hair stood out like a beacon. She took up barely one full cushion, curled up as far as she could with the Stark Pad perched on her thighs. Her small feet were tucked under her and James glanced over her shoulder to see what Steve had said this time.

A message lit up the screen, straight through Stark's state-of-the-art network: 'Buck, answer me, god damn it!'

"Does he swear like that on a normal basis? Because that's almost worse than me and I'm terrible. I know it, I own it, and I admit it. But Steve is supposed to be the American ideal! He's dating my Evie, the love of my life, my best friend in the entire universe-"

James cut Nova off by placing his human hand over her mouth firmly, glaring down at the top of her head. She was even more dramatic than usual when her hair was in danger. Honestly, he wasn't sure why she was so worried about it. It would grow out eventually if she cut it. Then again, he did like the soft waves. They were an interesting color and silk between his fingers. So long as he kept his metal hand away from her head, it was fine. She wouldn't be in danger of cutting off her hair again.

"He was in the Army. What did you expect?" James snorted, letting her go when her lips stopped moving. The muffled noises made little sense, but James had a feeling she wasn't actually speaking words, just making noises to show she wasn't amused.

It was interesting to see what the Avengers thought of Steve. Most of them thought of him in a more polite light than James knew he was. Steve could be the American ideal. He could be a sweetheart of America. James had seen it. But he was also a soldier, someone who had spent months on end with Nova's grandfather in the forests of Europe. Dirty jokes and swearing had been part of the initiation process. And Steve was better at that than almost anyone seemed to realize.

"Um, I expect him to recite the Pledge of Allegiance in his sleep. I expect him to shit rainbows and burp out butterflies. I expect his boxers- briefs?- to be star spangled," Nova informed him resolutely, her head tilting to the side. James shifted with her, absently picking another strand of hair from his index finger.

"Boxers," James answered absently, not realizing what he'd said until he realized Nova was absolutely still for the first time since he'd sat her down. He glanced at the Stark Pad, able to see her shocked expression in the reflective screen. Her mouth was dropped open and her eyes were wide open, glasses falling off her nose. "What?"

"How the hell do you know what underwear Steve wears? Oh my Heimdall, are the rumors true? Did you guys really sleep together? I thought it was a load of bullshit because, um, you're not together now, but I guess a breakup could have happened. It's been like a billion years for you guys, times change. God, that would be great. Do you know how much the press would pay for a release that Captain America is bi?" Nova went off on a tangent and James blinked in surprise.

"Wait, people think that Steve and I had sex?" James asked, frowning a little.

"Oh, yeah. You haven't been on the right websites if you haven't heard about that. There's a ton of fanfiction that's dedicated to the two of you. I should show you the fan art! Holy shit, you'll love it!" Nova started to bounce in her seat, pulling James's hand with her. He quickly untangled the last strands of her hair, pulling his hand away and recalibrating the plates. A shot of pain jolted up his spine and James shifted his shoulders, trying to realign whatever was out of place. "Here! Here, this is my favorite."

The picture was of James back when he was Bucky, his hair short and styled completely differently. He was laying on a bed, shirt off and slacks riding low on his hips. His chest was well defined, down to the trail of hair leading down into his boxers. One of his arms was behind his head and a cigarette was drooping between his lips, eyes focused on the man hovering above him.

It was Steve. James could see the resemblance, though there were certain details that the artist had embellished that were wrong. He was skinny, hips resting on James' and knees on either side of his hips. Steve had one hand on the bed near James' head and his other hand was planted on James' chest, holding him up as he leaned over James' face. His tongue was sliding over his lips in a lewd gesture and James' free hand was sitting on Steve's hips. The blankets were rumpled under them and the detail in the artistry were magnificent.

Steve might have an aneurism at the content, but he'd enjoy the artistry.

"Sorry, sweetheart, Steve is straight," James informed Nova, his old drawl falling from his lips. Nova turned to face him in a flurry, wide eyes on his face as she tried to read him. He could have told her that was a futile effort, but just raised an eyebrow. He was telling the truth. Steve was into women. Sure, he supported the LGBT+ community and wanted them to experience full equality, but he wasn't a part of the community.

"Hey, I'm free!" Nova cried as soon as she realized she'd been able to turn around without dragging him with her. James rolled his eyes exaggeratedly just because he knew it bothered her, enjoying the scowl on her lips when he focused back in on her. "Not that I'm letting that go. You said Steve is straight, you didn't say you are. So, Sergeant, do you swing both ways? Or just one?"

Nova leaned in as she asked, her voice taking on the same sultry tone Natasha got when she was trying to seduce a mark. James knew, though, that Nova wasn't attempting to seduce him, though his body certainly perked at the sound of her whiskey smooth voice. She hadn't shown any interest in him that way and he refused to think about even the remote possibility. She was asking him if he was straight because she was curious, not because she particularly _cared_.

"Fellas are just as enjoyable as dames in my opinion," James shrugged, the words falling from his lips as easily as if he was really back in the forties, still just Bucky. He felt that side of him struggle to take over and fought back, tensing at the thought. "Not that it matters now."

James stepped off the couch, standing over Nova and glaring at her for bringing out the parts of him he wanted to keep buried. The Asset was dangerous, but Bucky was _wrong_. He was too innocent and James wasn't innocent. He was so far from it that it made him physically sick to think about all the things he'd done.

"Wait, what do you mean it doesn't matter now? Of course it matters now. There has to be more freedom to find the right guy or girl now that you're in the twenty first century, right? I mean, I'm sure it's still a little awkward for you to be so open about it, but you'll get there. It's cool, right?" Nova scurried to her feet, her eyes narrowed and brow furrowed.

James felt the inexplicable urge to smooth the wrinkles out, his human hand twitching with the need.

"It doesn't matter," James enunciated carefully, practically growling out the words.

Nova didn't understand; she couldn't. He could like men, women, aliens, it didn't matter. No one in the universe could see past the blood on his hands. He didn't deserve anyone anymore. After all the terrible things he'd done, he couldn't go back. Erasing the memories didn't take away the fact that he had killed people, innocent people. Trying to reform, trying to help save people, didn't take the blood off his hands.

Nova was a good person. She saved people and had never had to do the things he did. He doubted she had the power to kill someone; she was just too inherently good. If she did, they wouldn't be innocent.

Someday, Nova would find someone who would love her. She would find someone who adored her in all the ways he could never adore anyone. And she would live a happy life. Get married to a perfect man, maybe have some kids. Her family would celebrate with her and that was what she deserved.

James wouldn't get that. He would never have what she would. While she dated, met that man, James would still be fighting to come to terms with the things he'd done. His memories were in shambles, his mind swirling with everything he'd done, and he would have to watch. Because only someone who was really worthy would get past him.

"Yes it does!" Nova cried, the loudest she'd ever yelled at him. James took a step back, shock blindsiding him. Nova was loud, she was brash, but he didn't think that she had ever looked quite so angry. At least not when he had faced her. "I'm sick of the people around me thinking they don't deserve to be loved. Come on! You're a good guy! You haven't even killed me yet! And I wouldn't have blamed you if you had. Have you met me? I'm annoying as all hell. The things that HYDRA did to you, the things they made you do, those aren't yours to atone for. Those are things HYDRA did. Not things you did. If you had been in your mind, you wouldn't have done those things. Honestly, why does everyone I fucking know think that they don't deserve to be happy?"

James glanced at the door to his apartment, wondering if he should try running. He didn't need a lecture on what he deserved. He knew, he knew intimately, what he deserved. Killing him would be too simple. His torment was life. Living with the knowledge of who he had been, what he had been. This was his purgatory, him making up for his sins. He wanted to leave Nova there, angry and defensive, showing her just what he was. Yet he stayed. Especially when Nova's chocolate eyes filled with tears, the watery glaze wavering before his eyes. He didn't know how to handle her tears. Where was someone who knew how to do that? Should he call someone? Who could he call? Stark knew her well, right?

"HYDRA is full of sadistic assholes and they don't deserve to be called humans. They're monsters. That's why they're named after the hydra of the legends. Because they are monsters and they know it. But that doesn't mean the people they use are monsters. You weren't HYDRA. You didn't volunteer. Bucky Barnes was Steve Rogers' best friend before and during the war. You were a goddamn Howling Commando! You saved so many lives and it's like that's all wiped away because HYDRA fucked with you," Nova hollered, throwing her arms out. James took another step back, just to avoid being smacked. Watching her was fascinating, but he got the feeling this wasn't all about him. After all, she barely scratched the surface of the things he'd done. "If you find someone who loves you, man or woman or any variation thereof, you shouldn't be afraid of that. The man my grandfather talks about is a great man. He's a hero. And so are you. So don't say things like that!"

With that, Nova spun and ran out of his apartment the same way she had come, her glasses falling off as she swiped a hand across her cheeks. She didn't pause or pick them up, leaving them behind as she disappeared into the elevator that had been waiting for her.

James stared after her, wondering just where that had come from. His words had been true. He didn't deserve to find love. But she had taken them harshly, in a way he hadn't meant for her to take them. To Nova, it should never have mattered if he was happy or not. They weren't friends. He had broken into her lab, she'd just broken into his apartment, and they talked some, but she had no reason to be so concerned about his happiness.

Still, James walked over and carefully picked up the glasses that had fallen off of her face, checking the lenses for any cracks. Satisfied they were alright, James set them on his desk before moving to grab his Stark Pad to reassure his best friend that he hadn't killed Nova. And maybe, maybe just ask Evangeline just what had gone wrong with Nova. Because there was now a burning need that was starting to engulf him. He needed to figure out what had her crying when they talked about sex and romance. And he wanted to know why she had the worst reaction he'd ever seen to him saying he wasn't going to have a relationship after the things he'd done.


	13. Big Brother (Or Something Like That)

**Song: Sweet Child o' Mine by Guns'n'Roses**

 **Hey everyone! Thanks for all the favorites, reviews, and follows. I totally love them! So, listen, I have a Harry Potter fanfic I've started on and I'm wondering if anyone would be interested in reading it. It's a Remus/OC and would be the first part in the series. One of the characters speaks Russian, so if you speak Russian, can I pick your brain for translations? (I speak English and a bit of Spanish, I know how to say hello and a few other words in Russian, not enough to hold a conversation). Also, I'm looking for anyone from England or the surrounding countries who can help me with making the story sound authentic. I've done my best, but I'm from the US, so the only things I known I found online. Not the most reliable source. Anyway, if you've read this, just leave a quick review if you'd read!**

Nova curled up in her lab chair, the screen she needed right in front of her face. A pair of sun glasses was perched on her nose, bright pink to match the socks on her feet. After brushing through her hair quickly, Nova had pulled it back into a loose bun, securing the mass with two screwdrivers just to ensure no accidents could happen to her hair for the day. It had been almost twenty four hours since she'd bolted out of James's apartment crying.

Today, she was tired. It was raining and a gloom settled over the Tower unwaveringly, leaving Nova with the impression that something bad was going to happen. It could have just been the bottle of whiskey she'd attempted to drown herself in the night before, though. When she was done, there wasn't enough left to drown her in. That was where the sunglasses came into play, as well as the lowered lights in the lab and the soft music FRIDAY had put on. Nova loved that AI to the moon and back. If FRIDAY was sentient and asked her to marry her in that moment, there was no doubt that Nova would say yes, no questions asked.

Scribbling out a few lines of equations to see if her theory would work, Nova propped her chin on her hand and willed her eyes to stay open. Not only were they drooping dangerously, but focusing on the screen was getting harder and harder to do even with her glasses perched on her nose.

To cheer herself up, Nova grabbed a Dum Dum out of the cup on her desk and absently ripped the wrapping off without looking at it. As soon as it was in her mouth, she let out a hum of appreciation, bubblegum goodness bursting along her tongue. At least there was one surefire way to cheer herself up. Nothing else seemed to be working. And she had tried. God, she'd tried.

"Supernova, my favorite baby scientist, how are you doing today?" The screen before her lit up suddenly, a flash of light bursting before her eyes. Tony's face took up the entire thing, dark circles blooming under his eyes that almost rivalled her own. The grin on his lips was decidedly artificial and she was pretty sure he was still wearing the same dark grey Metallica shirt she'd last seen him in, right before his fight with Pepper. A dark stain marred the perfect surface on his chest. Stubble grew along his cheeks and his hair was longer than usual, flopping over his forehead lazily.

In response to his presence, Nova groaned pitifully, slumping onto her desk and hoping he would go away. Tony usually meant well, but she wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone at the moment. She wanted to be hermit for the day and maybe through the end of the week if she could get away with it. After yelling at James, there was barely any chance at all that he would show up back in her lab and the only people who would be concerned if she didn't leave it at some point were hundreds of miles away.

"That bad, huh? Well, looks like your best friend was right about one thing. You do need some cheering up," Tony hummed, pulling Nova's attention back to the screen. Evie was a no good, two bit traitor. Nova wasn't going to talk to her for at least two days for ratting her out to Tony, of all people. It would have been easier to forgive if she'd told Pepper or even her annoying perfect boyfriend, but no, she had to go and tell Tony.

"I don't need cheering up. I need a mass spectrometer," Nova scowled at him and he raised an imperious eyebrow in response, obviously not worried about her anger.

"There's one in Bruce's lab," Tony informed her, as if that was completely obvious and she should have known. She _should_ have known, he was right about that, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

"I want my own. Specially made," Nova huffed, turning her head away in a gesture she had perfected when she was fourteen and couldn't get her way. Honestly, she didn't care about mass spectrometers at the moment, but Tony didn't need to know that. Maybe she'd get one for Christmas now. Then again, Tony was known for getting massively overpriced gifts for the people he cared about. If she was careful, maybe she could get him to buy her a house.

"Just order one then. Put it on the Stark Industries card. Make sure it's up to code, though; don't want anyone to freak out," Tony rolled his eyes as if that was an issue. Nova had a feeling it had something to do with Pepper, but didn't press. If he wanted to talk about it, he would mention it. They didn't have secrets from each other. Well, except what had really happened between him and Pepper and her odd friendship with James.

"I'm not just going to order a mass spectrometer. Do you know how much they cost when they aren't specially made?" Nova complained, rubbing at her forehead and desperately trying not to think about all the complications that would involve. Least of which were she would put it in her lab. She had some pretty cool shit, she didn't want to have to give up one special gadget for another. Not even something as useful as a mass spectrometer.

"We can afford it. Okay, Nova Scotia, what's going on? You look like me three days into a drinking binge and that's putting it nicely," Tony waved off the price issue, focusing in on the reason for his call. Nova closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath, not wanting to talk over her freak out with Tony of all people. Any other day, he would understand. But he didn't like James in the least. And it wasn't the big, red, flashing neon sign everyone else probably assumed it was. Instead, it was because James was Captain Rogers' best friend and Tony hated that his dad had always held him up to the ridiculous standards of Steve Rogers.

"You know I wasn't named after Nova Scotia," Nova complained, trying to put off explaining for a few more minutes. It was a game they played since she was old enough to start arguing with him. Anytime he wanted information, she fought him off with petty complaints and well-placed jabs. He'd learned early on to handle it, but it was still something that made her feel a little better.

"Yeah, yeah, you were named after some of the brightest stars in the sky. You were named for explosions so great that galaxies saw them lightyears away. You were named to be extraordinary. I know," Tony drawled, rolling his eyes theatrically. Nova quirked a small smile at his explanation, knowing that he wasn't putting her down but instead repeating something he'd heard a thousand times. "Your father only told me that a billion times before you were born. Should have let your mother name you. You could have been another Margaret."

"Maggie has the name Margaret. And you like my name," Nova defended, her smile growing.

"Just because it's easy to use as a nickname. Anyway, not the point, munchkin. What's going on? Do I need to make a trip to the Tower? Beat up some loser who doesn't know something good when he sees it?" Tony demanded, pointing at her through the screen. Allowing herself to smile for real, Nova shook her head, knowing he would do just that if she asked him to. Tony was nothing if not extremely protective of the people he cared about.

"I'm fine, Tony. I just need to sit in my lab and buckle down for a few days, that's all. Didn't have a good day yesterday," Nova sighed, the smile dropping off of her lips as she thought of James's face as he explained that it didn't matter who he liked, he wasn't going to have a happily ever after. Nova believed everyone deserved to be happy. Especially James.

"I don't believe that for a second. Come on, my favorite little minion, tell Uncle Tony all about it," Tony leaned back in his chair and gestured for her to start talking, giving her a clear view of the lab behind him. Dum-E was rolling around the room chasing what appeared to be a moving vacuum cleaner and there was a glowing orb hovering three feet above the middle podium, a brilliant gold that was probably exceedingly dangerous. Stacked on the counters were empty containers of fast food and it looked like no one had been cleaning up after him. Without Pepper, that was how Tony operated.

"You won't be happy," Nova finally admitted, nibbling on her bottom lip.

"It can't be that bad. Come on, Nov, it's not like you could ever disappoint me. Just tell me about it and we'll fix it," he urged, fiddling with a screwdriver. Tony was always doing something. Whether it was playing with a screwdriver, fixing something, or scribbling out impossible equations, he didn't sit still. It got worse when he was upset.

"I might have made friends with James," Nova blurted quickly, her words slurring together a little. Tony dropped the screwdriver, the metal hitting the counter with a sharp clang that had her wincing.

"You did what with who? James. James Barnes? James Barnes, as in Steve's Bucky? Bucky as in the Winter Soldier?" Tony snapped upright, eyes wide and fixed on her. Nova wrinkled up her nose, but nodded slowly. It wasn't like he should be surprised. He was the one who had dropped James in on her without any explanation or instruction.

"You did pawn him off on me, you know. You were supposed to meet him. Apparently in my lab. Which, what the hell were you thinking, by the way? Make an appointment with one of the most dangerous men in history and then just ditch it without explanation? How was I supposed to handle that? What were you even going to do?" Nova complained loudly, pointing at him threateningly.

"Shit, I forgot about that. He's been having issues with his prosthetic and I was supposed to take a look. Something about the recalibration process lagging and some panels grinding. Was there pain? I think there might have been mild nerve pain," Tony tapped his finger against his jaw, contemplating what was wrong with James. Nova almost went through the screen and slapped him. How could he forget that James was in pain? Especially something as unpredictable and exceedingly painful as nerve pain?

"Pain? How could you just blow off a meeting like that?" Nova screeched, grabbing the screen before her and shaking it.

"Whoa, Nova-bot, slow down. I didn't forget. I had you, uh, take over. Yeah. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is that you shouldn't be making friends with him. He's dangerous," Tony started in on lecture mode and Nova rolled her eyes, knowing that this was going to go on for hours if she didn't nip it in the bud.

"Listen, Anthony. I make friends with whoever the hell I want. And you don't get a say in that. Now, are you going to listen and help me feel better or are you going to lecture me on dangerous friends, Mr. My-Mentor-For-Twenty-Years-Tried-To-Kill-Me-And-Take-Over-My-Company?" Nova snapped, glaring at her friend. He might have been her friend, but she considered James a friend too and she wasn't about to let anyone shit talk him. Not even Tony.

"Did you just call me Anthony?" Tony shrieked like a twelve year old girl, placing a palm on his chest in ultimate betrayal.

"Damn straight," Nova snapped back, narrowing her eyes dangerously.

"Fine. Have it your way. Explain away," Tony waved for her to continue petulantly, biting back whatever else he had to say about the danger of making friends with a former assassin. Like he was one to talk anyway.

"Anyway… We kind of became friends I guess and I went over to his place to apologize for bringing up his Winter Soldier past. It really was an accident, I didn't mean to. But he was talking to Evie and Steve. And we were talking about Sharon, you know Sharon, and how her and Cap broke up because she fed his information to the CIA, which was totally her job. But I didn't really see why it's such a big deal because it's not like she tried to kill him like some people. And I might have kind of implied I was talking about James. And he threw my hair in my face and got his prosthetic stuck in it," Nova explained quickly, completely steamrolling over Tony's gasp of disapproval. "We got talking about everyone thinking him and Steve boinked in the forties and then about sexuality and stuff. It's a really long story, don't ask. Anyway, he said that it doesn't matter if he likes someone. And… and he said it like Evie used to."

Nova trailed off sadly, biting her lip and fighting back the urge to tear up again. It had taken so long to get Evie back from the brink. She was so strong and had done nothing wrong and it was so hard to see her like that. Having another friend thinking in the same way had Nova up in arms. James's body had done terrible things, but he hadn't. The person HYDRA made was completely different than the person he really was.

"Nova," Tony murmured, his face falling a little as he realized why she was so upset. He had seen Evie at her worst, just like she had. He knew how much it pained her to see her best friend so lost and he knew how much it meant to her for her friends to know that they were worth so much more than they realized.

"I… I yelled at him. I shouldn't have, but I just wanted him to know that he does deserve to be happy, you know?" Nova begged desperately, wanting approval and yet wanting Tony to tell her she was wrong. More importantly, she wanted James to tell her that she was wrong. That he didn't think he was somehow broken beyond repair. It was important to her that he knew his worth, knew he was worth so much more than what had happened to him.

"I agree. You shouldn't have yelled in the ex-assassin's face. But you meant well, right? That counts for something," Tony looked a little desperate himself when he said that part, as if he was asking for forgiveness too. But for something worse than Nova was.

"I just hate seeing people I care about think they don't deserve whatever they want in life," Nova sighed, dropping into her desk and propping herself up on one palm. Her other hand pulled the lollipop stick out of her mouth and threw it into the garbage, absently shoving her sun glasses back up her nose a moment later.

"You're a better friend than almost anyone I know, Supernova. I'm in no way endorsing this friendship, but maybe that's what your super assassin buddy needs. That, or a puppy. If a puppy will get him away from you, I'll buy him a pound to look after," Tony offered, twitching his eyebrows at her. Nova pursed her lips, not laughing this time. Her mood had plummeted again and it was obvious that Tony noticed because he sighed deeply, setting his jaw. "Listen, if you need to take a few days, you could come to the Malibu house. I have a mass spectrometer over here and all those cool toys you love to tinker with. It would be fun, just me and you, like the old days."

Nova knew without a doubt that the offer was put on the table simply to make her feel better. He would accept her with open arms if she showed up, but this was his time to be alone, his time to grieve. She'd just be encroaching on that. No matter how much he loved her, sometimes even Tony Stark needed time to process.

"I-"

"No."

The voice came out of nowhere and Nova jolted, James's face appearing right next to her as he glared fiercely at Tony bolted upright like someone had shocked him, his eyes widening as he realized just who had broken into her lab to end their conversation. Before he could get a word in edgewise, James tapped the end button, shutting off the screen and plunging Nova into semi-darkness, her shock still etched across her face.


	14. Huggers Unite!

**Song: Human by Christina Perri**

 **Hello everyone! Oh my gosh, finally finished my summer class, I am now officially free for about two weeks! And when I say free I mean I'm going to be packing, so much packing. School is starting and I'm super excited, but also kind of nervous. It's not my first time, but I think first days are always a bit jittery, aren't they? I got a whole ton of reviews for the last chapter, so thank you to everyone who took the time to write to me! As a general comfort, no, I don't plan on abandoning this story at all ever. No one responded about the Harry Potter fic I was thinking about posting, so if you would read a Harry Potter fic that I wrote, let me know! Okay, enough of me talking, here we go.**

James firmly planted himself next to Nova, watching her carefully as she stared up at him. Her warm, chocolate eyes were hidden behind bright pink sunglasses, a sight he didn't particularly like. With the dark lenses over her eyes, he couldn't read what she was thinking as easily. At least, that was what he was telling himself.

Sitting in the semi-darkness of her lab, Nova had been completely oblivious to his presence when he had dropped in from the ceiling tiles. She'd been in the middle of her conversation with Tony Stark and he had just asked her to tell him what was really bothering her. When she finally broke and gave him the story, she gave a quick summary and James had slipped into the shadows, careful to stay away from the camera connected to the screen she was using. If Stark saw him, it would be over in an instant.

He had almost interceded when Stark had suggested he was bad for her. Maybe the other man was right. James had managed to make her cry. She'd been angry with him. Maybe she would be happier without him around. But the dangerous side of his thoughts took over, demanding a say in his decisions. He could have turned around and left. Nova would never have known he was there and she would be as safe as she could be without him around. A low, cruel laugh had echoed through his mind, though, and asked him if he could forgive himself if something happened to her after he'd left. What if she drank too much one day? What if she really did fall off a counter like he guessed she would? What if HYDRA attacked and he wasn't there to stop them?

It was possible he wasn't the best thing for her, but he was better than nothing.

Of course, he hadn't gotten a word in. Nova had immediately took offense and stood up for him. Before he could break in, tell her that he hadn't been upset, she was already spilling everything and he had frozen, unable to move as he listened.

Nova cared for him. She thought they were friends. He could count his friends in this world on one hand. They were people he knew he could trust to help him, who would do what they could to save him. It had never really crossed his mind to add Nova to that list. Did he trust her? Could he? Should he? Even if he did trust her, should she trust him? The answer to that was a firm no. But it seemed she had already chosen that path.

If she had asked, he would have warned her off. But here, now, standing near her and staring down at her face, he couldn't force himself to say anything against it. When she learned more about him, she would understand. He wasn't safe to be around and she was smart. Smarter than he usually gave her credit for. Someday, she would learn that he was dangerous and then he wouldn't have to worry about telling her.

"How did you even get in here?!" Nova suddenly cried, bursting to her feet. James skittered back a step, blinking in surprise. It was amazing that she could still startle him so easily. He should have expected it. "I put the lab on lockdown! Do you see that red button there? LOCKDOWN. It should be literally impossible to get in here and you just-"

James cocked his head to the side curiously when Nova simply cut herself off midsentence, a hand flying up to cover her mouth. It was like she couldn't stop talking without some sort of physical barrier to stop the noise from escaping. It wouldn't surprise him in the least if that were true.

When he didn't answer her immediately, Nova's hand dropped from her lips and he looked down at them, his own lips tilting down to mirror her frown. Something about it made him uncomfortable, his shoulders tensing as he shifted into a looser stance. A fight wasn't coming, but he felt the same rush of concern as if one were just around the corner, his senses flaring.

Silence reigned, a song James didn't know slipping through the speakers. There were no words, just the long drawn out notes of a violin. It was a soothing melody, one that would calm him immensely if he wasn't watching Nova, who was now watching him back, shifting from foot to foot and flickering her eyes around her lab nervously. Most of the time, Nova was surprisingly calm in his presence. It bothered him immensely that she was now so uncomfortable, ready to run at a moment's notice.

Did she think he had come in to hurt her? If he had wanted to hurt her, he could think of better places to do it. If she thought they were friends, why did she look so scared?

"The ceiling tiles," James admitted, just to fill the awkward silence Nova had created. He pointed toward the ceiling and Nova's eye flicked up, immediately pinpointing his entrance. He hadn't bothered to put the tile back yet. In fact, he hadn't really expected to talk to her, not really. The point had been to check in, make sure she was alright after the crying and the yelling. Talking to her about it hadn't really been in the plan.

"I'm going to kill Barton…" she muttered angrily, glaring up at the ceiling. Obviously, she had already guessed where he had learned that particular trick. Not that it really mattered too much to James. If he needed to use the ceilings for transportation again, they were easier to break through than the walls and he'd do it in a heartbeat. And Clint Barton would probably find it funny that Nova was mad at him anyway. James was quickly learning that the other man was fairly relaxed when it came to his co-workers in the Tower. "What are you doing here? Like, not that you aren't welcome or whatever. Well, actually, no one was welcome because I locked the lab down. But what's going on?"

It seemed to physically pain Nova to stop talking, her lips pressed into a thin white line. James let out a breath, wishing that this was easier. Why did she have to be upset? It would have been a hell of a lot easier if she had just treated him how everyone else did. Mostly ignoring his pessimism or dismissing it as a phase he'd grow out of. He preferred their way of dealing with him.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright," James forced out, practically able to feel the part of him that was Bucky start to fight to the surface. Checking on a dame was acceptable back in his day. It was even appreciated. But James didn't know what was acceptable now. Was it alright to check on her? Was it within his standing to ask her how she was? Did friends do that? He did. There were a lot of times with Steve that Bucky didn't even have to ask what was wrong. It was his job to make sure Steve was healthy and strong. Bucky had done that to the best of his abilities. Now, Steve was a super soldier, practically immune to everything except his own stupidity. Bucky couldn't blame anyone for being unable to do anything about that, though.

"What? You mean with the crying thing?" Nova questioned, nibbling on her bottom lip. James shook Bucky out of his head violently, gritting his teeth to focus on the here and now. He could focus on Bucky later. Nova needed him now.

"You were upset," James reminded her firmly, keeping his attention on her. He stopped letting himself think too hard about what was going on, knowing that it was dangerous to let the other pieces of him out. At least Bucky was fairly tame. It was the Asset that was dangerous.

"I didn't mean to yell or whatever. I… I know that a lot of people have treated you like shit, but I really don't want to be one of those people. I just don't think it's fair that you're being down on yourself for something that's so out of your control. It's not like you chose to fall off that train or to become a part of HYDRA. And, when you did get a choice, you chose to help people. That should really count for something," Nova argued, nodding quickly along with her words. James felt a warmth fill his chest at the sight of the woman before him defending him like he wasn't a stone cold killer. She had no idea of the things he'd done and he didn't want her to. "It counts to me."

"I'm not agreeing with you," James informed her, jaw firmly set. Nova sighed deeply, but nodded, her lips pulling into a small frown. The sight of it sent a bolt of unease through James, his human palm scrubbing against his jeans as he tried to think of something else to say. He wouldn't agree with her just to make her feel better; that wasn't fair to her. And he wasn't about to lie to her about something like that. But he wanted to make her feel a little better, so she wouldn't frown anymore.

"You don't have to agree right away. But it's important to know there's someone out there rooting for you," Nova murmured, glancing up at him over the rim of her sunglasses shyly. James tilted his head just slightly, reaching out with his human hand to pull the sunglasses off of her face. She didn't flinch as he grabbed them, instead holding still for him. James made absolutely certain that he didn't touch her, not wanting to know what her reaction to his touch would be after everything that had happened.

"Can I stay here for a while?" James slowly asked, setting her sunglasses on the desk and turning to take in the surprising beauty that was Dr. Nova Maddox. In a pair of ripped overalls with one button drooping, her hair shoved into a wild bun at the top of her head, and two screwdrivers, one flathead and one Phillips, stabbed through her bun at a crossed angle, Nova looked ready to work. Aside from the fact that she was barely wearing a shirt under her overalls and her feet were bare, that is. Either way, he felt his lips wanting to twist up at the corners as he stared down at her, waiting for an answer.

Her chocolate eyes warmed as she seemed to realize the connotation of what he'd said, a smile blooming along her lips as she lit up. Her arms flew out and James braced himself for anything, expecting a hit or a smack, anything to display her displeasure easily. Instead, Nova threw herself at him, barreling right into his chest.

James caught them both without even stumbling, his prosthetic whirring as he wrapped it around her waist to catch her. Pain slid up his spine, blooming along his scalp and causing several sharp reactions along those nerves. Tensing, James focused immediately on his arm, making sure that he wasn't gripping Nova too tightly as she…

"What are you doing?" James asked, staring at a mess of red hair while Nova wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed. Was she… was she hugging him? Why would she hug him? The only person James really ever hugged was Steve and that was because the other man always initiated it. James couldn't remember the last time he'd been hugged by someone else and he froze under her ministrations, unsure how to respond. Usually, a slap on the back settled Steve down, but a hit Steve could take could seriously injure Nova.

"I'm hugging you. Don't freak out; just go with it. It's not an attack or anything, just a form of affection. I forgot no one is bothering to reintroduce you to this kind of stuff. Hugs are good. I give Evie a hug every time I see her. I'll probably even hug Steve next time I see him, but only because I'm gonna be so happy to have Evie home. You'll have to get used to hugs if you're coming for Christmas, you know. We're a close family and there will be lots of hugs. Especially with the kids. But the kids aren't dangerous. Well, they can be, but you don't have to worry about that," Nova laughed at some memory while James stood completely still, his mind racing.

He had to have other experiences with hugs. Bucky had been a brother, right? That was what the memorial wall had said. Three younger sisters, if he was remembering right. Sometimes, he got vague images of them from his memory. One with big brown eyes and brown curls. She was feisty and climbing a tree while Bucky chased after her, the slight panic the only emotion James associated with the memory besides a warmth he didn't remember. There was another, smaller than the rest, with her hair in pigtails. Always in pigtails. Her hair was lighter than the others, but she had dimples on either side of her cheeks and was always smiling. James remembered specifically a gapped tooth smile beaming up at him with ribbons of purple in her hair. His last sister was the oldest. Her memory was a little clearer, sharper. Not quite in-focus, but still more than the others, mostly because he remembered her name: Rebecca.

His little sister by two years. He didn't know why he couldn't remember the others until after having looked them up. Ida, the youngest, had been full of life and he couldn't figure out why he couldn't put a name to the dimples when he tried to remember them. Winnie had been much more daring than the others and James had encouraged that sort of behavior. It was only fitting that someone else receive his athletic edge. Yet the memories were buried beneath a layer of fuzz, twisted and distorted.

He did remember hugs, though. Vaguely. An image rushed to his mind of his oldest sister running toward him, plowing into him at full speed with tears in her eyes and lips wobbling. The man with her, Bucky, the one he was, wrapped his arms around her with an easy laugh, holding her to him tightly. They hugged for a minute or two as Rebecca's tears started to fall and Bucky just held onto her, murmuring jokes in her ear and promising to come back.

Bucky had never come back.

Slowly, oh so slowly, James raised his human arm up and rested it gently against Nova's back. She tightened her hold on contact and James's fingers curled into a fist around the back of her overalls, holding her to him reassuringly. Even if Bucky hadn't gotten to go back for his sisters, at least James could come back for Nova.

"Oh my god, you're hugging me," Nova squeaked excitedly. James rolled his eyes in a familiar, exasperated gesture, hoping that no one was watching the camera feed at the moment.


	15. Gymnasium Shenanigans

**Song: My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark by Fall Out Boy**

 **The gym is Nova's worst nightmare. I can relate. Everyone's leaving awesome reviews, thanks for the love. I've got one vote yes for a Harry Potter fic. I will not abandon this fic! I know I don't have a good track record but I'm seriously already planning the next fic in the lineup, so no one freak out! This one is going to be super long though. Not because I do this on purpose but because I have so much to say! These two are so cute together and I just can't! Okay, enough me talk, enjoy.**

"I'm not going in there," Nova informed James, crossing her arms like a petulant child. James stood before her, back straight and one eyebrow raised as he waited for her to stop complaining. She was never going to stop complaining. Because there was no way in all of Hell that she was going into the gymnasium in the Tower. Not only was she vastly out of shape but she was also kind of afraid of the SHIELD recruits that frequented the place. Being tall wasn't everything; her muscle mass wasn't all that impressive. They could kick her ass without a thought. It was true that she could generally take care of herself, but SHIELD agents were a different breed altogether.

"You told me to choose where to go," James reminded her, obviously not amused.

"I meant you could choose a café or your apartment or something, not that we should go workout," Nova huffed, turning her head away from him dramatically. When she'd made the offer to let James choose something for them to do for the day, she'd hoped he would want to go out of the Tower. Instead, he had insisted that they go workout.

Nova had gotten all the way to the door to the gym before she'd remembered how much she hated being in the gym. Now, they were at an impasse. She wouldn't go in and James wasn't about to change his mind. He was adamant that she should 'learn to protect herself.' As if she hadn't learned how to sucker punch someone when she was four. As if she hadn't shot every target in the SHIELD qualification round when she was sixteen. As if she wasn't perfectly capable of kicking someone's ass all on her own.

"I don't know any cafés," James informed her with an annoyed look. Nova winced, having forgotten that most of the places he frequented were in the Tower. Shit.

"Fine. But I promise I don't need to learn how to box. I already know how," Nova shrugged a little when James shot her an oblivious look, obviously not believing a word coming out of her mouth. He'd seen her knock him back, why was it so hard to believe that she could take care of herself if the need arose?

Stalking into the gymnasium, Nova glanced sideways at Maria Hill, who was in the middle of what looked like an intense workout. The woman was all sorts of badass. Sometimes, Nova wished that she could be her. Beautiful, confident, kickass, not a bit self-conscious and with enough gumption to challenge Nick Fury himself. Maria was definitely Nova's idol. No matter what her mama said.

Maria looked up just as Nova passed her, her eyes slipping from Nova to James skeptically. From afar, Nova grinned and waved at her friend, hoping that it wouldn't be too awkward. After all, Nova was slowly getting over the whole 'this is a mission' thing. After all, that was what SHIELD had been about, that wasn't Maria's fault. And they had managed to save Evie from the HYDRA assholes. If Evie had died, it might have been different. But it wasn't and Nova didn't really feel like losing one of her best friends in the world.

Maria slowly waved back, suspicious gaze on James. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, but Nova noticed that he very deliberately didn't look at her.

"I thought you two were fighting," James harrumphed, obviously not impressed. Nova shrugged her shoulders as James led her to the sparring ring, obviously getting right down to business. Half the gym froze to watch as Nova followed him into one of the rings, turning to watch and see the Winter Soldier kick her ass. It was probably going to be a pretty fun show, though Nova half wished she wasn't the one getting her ass handed to her. It was probably much more fun to watch from the sidelines. Not that getting up close and personal with James wasn't fun.

"If Evie can get over it, I can. Besides, I'm already out a job, why should I lose one of my best friends too?" Nova asked, focusing as she stretched a little. The movements came back naturally as she fell into a lunge and stretched her arm over her head, old muscles burning with the memories of trying to fight her brothers. Maggie was the worst, she was vicious. She'd beat all of them in kickboxing class and went on to place in most karate tournaments. Fighting Maggie was like fighting the Winter Soldier: impossible and more than a little dangerous.

"Your family's upset with her," James reminded her, as if it was his job.

"My family is upset because they almost lost Evie. But Evie is fine. And if Evie can forgive everyone for what happened, don't you think we owe it to her to do the same?" Nova questioned, raising her eyebrows in challenge as she lunged to the opposing side, stretching her other arm into the air.

James got really quiet, mulling this over. His hair was down again, falling into his face and obscuring his eyes. Tutting in annoyance, Nova hopped to her feet, jogging over to him and getting behind him as he sank into a lunge to copy her earlier movements.

"Don't move for a sec. I'm putting your hair up. You know that it's easier to see when you put it up, why don't you do it yourself? Come on, dude, you're killing me. I swear, I've taught you nothing," Nova complained, running her fingers through his hair absently. It was incredibly soft and smelled like his dove shampoo. There were a few strands that were still a little damp, but Nova still tugged it back as gently as she could, pulling a ponytail off of her wrist and wrapping the band around the end.

Checking her work, she smoothed out of the top of his head, tucking a strand that was trying to escape back into the rubber band while James stretched lower into his lunge, arms straight out to the side. Thinking about it, Nova was pretty sure they looked like dorks doing this, but it was one of the only ways to put his hair back. If he was in a bad mood, he didn't bother to touch his hair all day. If he was in a good mood, he didn't give a fuck if the hair was in his eyes. So at least she got to fix it this time.

"I'm not good at it," James grumbled, obviously pained to admit that he wasn't good at something. Nova just rolled her eyes and laughed a little.

"That's fine. You don't have to be a pro at everything, you know? I can do it for you. Just ask me next time. I like being able to see your face. Why would you want to hide a face like that anyway, Mr. Barnes?" Nova winked at him as she walked back around to her own spot, smirking at the raise of the eyebrow she got in return.

"I think there's supposed to be a Sergeant in there," he pointed out, pulling a surprised giggle out of Nova.

"Damn straight, Serge," she managed to get out between laughs, shaking her head a little at the snark. At about that time, she looked up, surprised to see that everyone in the gym was suddenly watching them. Everyone except Maria, who was adamantly working on her punching bag, her fists colliding with a smack every time she threw one out. The sound echoed through the room as the rest of the SHIELD grunts stared. "So, are we going to do this or not? I mean, not that I'm not all for the chitchat, but I want to get this over with as quickly as possible. And the fastest way to end it is to start it. Do you want me to go first? I bet I can get a hit in. I bet you a shopping trip I can get you on the ground before the day is through."

"Shopping trip?" James asked, slowly straightening. Nova bounced in front of him, fists in front of her face loosely and ponytail wagging. She'd dressed functionally in a pair of yoga pants and a tight racer back tank top. It showed off what little curves she had and was tight enough she didn't really need to worry about someone catching the cloth and dragging her down. Her sneakers were the same black ones she wore to work in, so they were comfortable and functional. A phrase that could apply to her entire wardrobe.

"Yeah, to get you clothes for Christmas. Something that fits. I've seen you in one too many sweatshirts that don't fit right. We're going to get you some clothes that you can actually wear in public. Trust me, you'll thank me when your jeans fit right. Not that I'm not digging the whole skin tight thing you got going, I just think you'd be more comfortable in-" Nova cut off with a curse as she ducked the fist James threw out casually to shut her up.

Nova twisted under his arm, sliding back against his chest and elbowing him backwards, her bony elbow digging into his ribs. James huffed out a breath as she dove away just as quickly, barely managing to avoid the hand that made a grab for her.

"So, are you in? If I don't get you on the ground, you don't have to go shopping with me," Nova offered, spinning to face him. James narrowed his eyes, his mind whirring behind those beautiful blue eyes. She knew he hadn't expected that from her. But she had no idea where he got the idea she couldn't fight from. After being raised by two SHIELD agents, one of them the daughter of a Howling Commando, how could he think that she would be oblivious when it came to a fight?

"Fine," James bit out, obviously getting into it. Nova let a grin light up her lips, dropping down into a deep crouch when James swiped out to grab her again. Throwing up an arm to knock his grabby hand aside, Nova thrust out with her palm, aiming for his nose. James deftly dodged it, grabbing her around the waist with his metal arm.

"Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Nova screeched as James easily picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder. He was wearing a thin tank top that did nothing to cover all those glistening muscles with a pair of low riding sweats he must have found in the lost and found. They were far too large, almost falling off his hips even though he had them tied and rolled up a couple of times. It didn't seem to hinder his movement, though. Not that Nova thought that ill-fitting clothing would stop him in the least.

"Still want to make bets?" James asked, sounding thoroughly amused. Glancing up, Nova noticed that the SHIELD agents were whispering behind their hands, probably coming up with some kind of shitty office gossip that she was boinking the Winter Soldier. Yeah, right. In her dreams.

"Definitely," Nova nodded resolutely and raised an arm, hoping that he didn't quite drop her on her head as she brought her hand down as hard as she could, smacking him right in the ass.

James let go, just like she'd predicted. Throwing her weight forward, Nova tumbled to the ground, wincing as her elbow hit first. Popping to her feet almost faster than James could react, Nova scurried out of the way when he immediately spun, one arm wildly swinging to find her. He just barely missed her arm as she jerked back, her own wide brown eyes avoiding his grey blue.

"What the hell was that?" James snapped, glaring at her.

"What? You didn't enjoy it?" Nova asked, playing innocent. James took a dangerous step forward, jaw clenched so tightly that a muscle in the corner twitched spastically. "The rules of a fight are very simple, Sergeant. Do what you gotta do to make it out. So I smacked your ass? Be glad I didn't kick you where the sun-don't-shine."

"Who did you say taught you to fight?" James demanded, still obviously not amused.

"You remember me mentioning my big sister, Maggie?" Nova asked, waiting until James nodded slightly. "My brother Jas tried to teach me how to take her down. Never worked, but he was very specific that I was meant to do whatever I could to hurt Maggie because she's the best fighter in the family. Honestly, Mama is probably the best, but she's retired from the fighting ring at the house."

"Your brother taught you to fight your sister?" James wrinkled his brow in confusion, causing Nova to take advantage of his confusion. She threw herself at him, ducking the attempt to catch her by her throat and kicking up violently. Her roundhouse needed a little work, but she connected pretty solidly. Of course, James's hands, one warm and calloused and the other ridiculously smooth and freezing, clasped around her ankle, twisting it violently and sending Nova tumbling to the floor. He let her go as soon as her back hit the mat, the breath leaving her lungs in one violent cough.

"He _tried_ ," Nova corrected breathlessly, just lying on the floor for a moment to try and get her breath back. She gasped a few times as she pushed into a sitting position, fighting back the urge to cough. "Jas couldn't beat Maggie if his life depended on it. Maggie took over my training after that. I was only, like, five. She decided I needed to learn how to protect myself and that the best way was to avoid Jas. Because hanging out with Jas spells trouble. So Maggie taught me a few tricks."

"I thought your sister retired," James reached down and helped pull Nova to her feet, his human hand warm against hers.

"Well, SHIELD doesn't exist now. First she went on maternity leave and had my niece, Avery. Avery is a cutie pie. She's only three. But then Maggie left when SHIELD fell because she wanted to give Avery a good home. Before the thing with Evie, Maggie did some specialist work with SHIELD. Now, she works as a personal trainer," Nova explained, wincing a little as she stretched her arms. That elbow hit was going to bruise.

"Maggie has no husband?" James asked, obviously intrigued. Nova pursed her lips as she bounced on her toes, getting her strength back as she thought about the asshat who had left her sister and her baby niece.

Throwing a kick at James's head, Nova kept up the barrage, whip kicking at his head. James blocked what he could, ducking one particularly dangerous hit and getting smacked in the ear on complete accident. James stumbled a second at that and Nova squeaked in horror, dropping her leg and scuttling up to him.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you!" Nova cried, hands coming up to cup James's cheeks. The entire building held its collective breath as Nova ran her fingers gently over the side of his face she'd kicked. James was watching her, eyes dark and dangerous. Something about them was different. They weren't the black of the Winter Soldier, but they were darker than his average look. "It's just, Mike was a SHIELD scientist. Or, we thought he was. When HYDRA came out of hiding, he disappeared with them. After the dump of info, we found out he was a HYDRA mole. So now Maggie tries to keep close to Avery so that she can protect her in case her dad comes back."

Nova shook her head angrily, trying to force the thoughts from her mind. It had hurt Maggie, of course it had, but she still had Avery. And that was something Maggie always reminded anyone who felt bad for her. She was a strong, independent woman who had a daughter that she adored. Maggie would always be one of the people Nova looked up to the most. After everything Maggie had been through, she deserved the apple pie life the most.

"Do you think he'll come back?" James asked, reaching up to snag her wrists in his hands. Nova frowned tightly, satisfied that James was perfectly fine. The guy had cheekbones that cut like razor wire, but they were definitely not made of adamantium.

"Dumbass better not try and come back. He didn't know the location of our home anyway, so it's not like he can just show up whenever he wants anyway. If I ever hear from him again, I'm going to-" Nova was cut off when James jerked her wrists to the right, throwing her past him. His knee shoved up into her stomach, forcing all air out of the lungs as the pain started to register. Gulping in some air, Nova fell over, rolling into a tiny ball of pain.

"I feel like we don't want to walk in on this," a familiar voice spoke up but Nova kept her eyes firmly shut, sure that she was dead and in hell. No way was Clint getting into Heaven. If Nova met him somewhere, it was definitely Hell. At least then she'd get a good room…

"What did you do, decide to kill her?" another voice joined in and Nova forced herself to push up onto her elbows and blink her eyes open.

There, standing near James, were Clint and Natasha, looking like they were fresh from a fight. Natasha's cat suit was ripped across the front, exposing half her navel and the scar where James had shot her. There was long line of butterfly stitches holding a cut together. It looked painful, but not deadly. Natasha's hair was yanked back on top of her head in a ballerina's bun and that's how Nova knew that it had been a shitty mission. Natasha didn't do anything like a ballerina anymore. Nova didn't know much about Natasha's past, but she did know that the other woman was in definite need of a thousand hugs.

Clint looked to be in worse shape, actually. His own suit was nowhere in sight. He was dressed in a pair of ripped up jeans that had obviously seen better days and a tee shirt with multiple holes through the middle. Dark blood stained the white of the tee shirt and Clint's nose was dribbling blood still, one eye already swelling. He grinned when he noticed her looking, winking with his good eye. One of his sneakers was completely missing and his big toe was sticking out of a ripped up sock. His blond hair was sticking straight up off his head and his bow was thrown casually over his shoulder as if he did this every day. Nova wondered if he sprained his left wrist too, eyeing the swelling.

"What happened?" Nova asked first, since no one seemed to want to ask.

"Rogue HYDRA attack by Clint's place. Payback from Ward, with love," Clint answered, voice slightly nasally. Nova slowly got to her feet, wincing a little when everything started to hurt. This was why she didn't work out. It was easier to get the shit beat out of her when there was a legitimate cause to fight for. Fighting just for the sake of fighting only made her happy when it was verbal sparring.

"Did you send them back in body bags?" James snarled, his back straightening and his hands clasping behind his back in a military stance. Nova cocked her head a little to get a better view of his taut ass, appreciating all the hours of work he'd put into perfecting that one feature. Honestly, she could bounce a quarter off of that thing. Maybe more, if he'd let her.

"всегда," Natasha answered immediately with a sharp nod. Nova didn't know what the hell that meant, but figured it was a good thing when James seemed to calm down a little, his shoulders relaxing a millimeter.

Just to remind him who he was messing with. Nova took a steadying breath, eyed her target, and then launched herself at James's back.

"Охуе́ть!" James yelped as soon as she hit him, throwing her arms around his neck and holding on for dear life. Clint started laughing immediately but Nova didn't respond. Firm hands found her legs and James easily lifted her to sit on his hips, her legs wrapping around his waist idly.

"Do you ever think before you do shit?" Clint asked, snorting a few feet away. Nova wrapped her arms around James's neck and hauled herself up to press her cheeks against his. Against her soft, smooth cheek, his was rough and sandpapery, pointing out that he hadn't shaved in a couple days. Not that Nova really minded. She liked a man with a little bit of facial hair. Not only that but she was hard pressed to find anything that would look bad on James Barnes.

"Not even fucking once."


	16. Friends? Enemies? Frenemies?

**Song: You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You by Dean Martin**

 **Thanks for all the awesome reviews! Okay, so, I'm starting school next week and it's going to be busy and stressful and all that sort of fun stuff. I'm going to try and keep up the same schedule I have right now for posting, but I'm not making any promises. I'm not abandoning this at all, but my posting schedule might be a little messed up until I get used to the class load and everything. Just a fair warning. Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think!**

"So, how have you two been? You seem pretty chummy," Barton offered, pressing a bag of frozen peas to his black eye as he reclined back on the communal level couch. James watched him carefully, noting the way he minimized any unnecessary movements. Someone had given him a good beating, something James wasn't exactly opposed to. Barton was an incredible shooting partner and a passable sparring partner but he ran his mouth way too much. No matter what they did, Barton was always talking. How the man had ever made it as a sniper, James would never know.

"I'm doing fine. I have the propulsion system for Tony's suit almost completely rewired. If he gives the go ahead, we can have FRIDAY start working on that. There's a side project I've been on for a while and James gave me some good tips. Oh, and I brought LEW out!" Nova ticked off on her fingers, not bothering to mention that she's found him in his bathroom on top of his shattered sink with glass stuck in his hand. She also neglected to mention the fact that he could have killed her. Multiple times. Probably for the best. It was pretty obvious that she knew Barton rather well. James didn't really want to have to beat the shit out of a man who was already bleeding. It wouldn't exactly be a fair fight.

"LEW! I haven't seen that old thing since the Barbados mission. How is she? Still as great as ever?" Barton cooed excitedly. James scowled at him, a slow anger starting to well from his toes. The metal plates in his arm shifted in the quiet and James tensed when the plates ground together for a moment, sending a bolt of pain up his spine. Nova's attention was immediately focused on his arm, but James ignored her, hoping she would do that same. She still didn't know that he had gone to have Tony fix the errors and he wasn't about to tell anyone, much less Nova. She would insist on taking a look at the wires and he knew that she had plans for the rest of the holiday season. Plans that didn't include trying to figure out what ancient technology HYDRA had used to make the death machine he called an arm.

"Yeah, I'm upgrading her. You remember the mirror tech that they debuted at the Academy right before it fell? I'm going to do the same thing to LEW so she can be more covert," Nova explained distractedly. James adamantly refused to acknowledge that she was still watching him carefully from her seat in a soft leather chair across from Barton. James was leaning back against the kitchen bar while Natalia grabbed some things to make lunch. Both Natalia and Barton had managed to take showers and find more comfortable clothing, which Nova and James had also done after Nova realized she was still dressed in her workout clothing. "Considering she's been on so many successful missions, I'd like to have her mission ready again. The software is tried and true; I just have to add a few updates and connect the mirror tech. She's getting a nice makeover before she can go out and work again, but it'll come."

James had been surprised when Nova came in dressed in actual clothing instead of overalls and a tank top. Instead, she'd put on a pair of leggings that seemed to hug her long, long legs. Over top she'd pulled on a too large, hot pink sweater. Across the front, the words: Suck This were splattered in dark purple coloring, a little lollipop tilted off the corner of the S. One of the shoulders fell off Nova's arm all the time, revealing that she was only wearing a bra on underneath it. A very, very lacy bra.

"Don't you have to do some serious work to get a mirror upgrade? That means retrofitting all the paneling not to mention the wiring you'd probably have to worry about," Barton kept up his conversation with Nova and James considered the beer bottle in his hand. It was definitely a weapon. Next lesson he'd give Nova was that anything in the room could be a weapon. It was something she seemed to have trouble grasping considering she still shoved screwdrivers through her hair to keep it back and didn't once make a grab for them when he showed up in her lab.

The next lesson he'd have to teach her was that enemies could be anywhere. As comfortable as she was with Barton, James had to wonder just how well they knew one another. He hadn't bothered to ask before since, it hadn't been his business. It still wasn't, but he knew she would tell him if he showed even a small amount of interest. Maybe showing a bit of interest in her life wouldn't be a terrible thing to consider.

"Yeah, I have to do a lot. But we're going to my parents' house soon for Christmas and I'll have plenty of time to work from Christmas to New Years," Nova explained, shrugging her shoulders lightly and tangling her fingers in the sleeve of her sweater.

"Aren't you supposed to be spending time with your family? I swear that was what Christmas was about," Natalia spoke up, raising a challenging eyebrow at Nova. Nova just rolled her eyes, relaxing back into the cushions and appearing far more comfortable than James would have assumed she'd be in front of Natalia. It wasn't a secret that the women didn't get along that well, but James had never seen them in the same room without Evangeline or Steve before. So far, Nova was acting almost exactly the same as she had before Natalia showed up.

"In a perfect world, I would spend time with my family, run around with the kids for a while, have some grownup talks with my parents, and give my grandpa a hug. Instead, I'll be held hostage, shoved in ten different closets as my siblings try to figure out what the hell is going on, and the kids will manage to wrangle me into a half dozen snowball fights and they won't back off until we're all soaked and disgusting. So I made a new rule. I'm not going outside this year. I'm just going to hide in my room and ignore people calling my name," Nova shrugged, as if that was her actual plan. James really hoped it wasn't. Then again, she seemed to be contemplating it seriously and he noticed that her hands had stilled where they'd been messing with the cuffs of her sweater.

Nova was lying. At least about part of it. Whether it was what was going to happen to her when she got home or her actual plan for the time she spent at her parents' house, he didn't actually know. Generally, he assumed it was her plan on how to deal with all the people. He'd heard her talk about her family before and it was obvious she loved them. He doubted she'd hide from them, even if she felt like it sometimes.

The vague memory of a feeling similar to what he assumed Nova felt slowly reared its head, the uncomfortable sensation of not being used to his own skin appearing as the memory unfolded. There were children, his little sisters, and they wanted to be around him all the time. Always asking him to play with them, always asking him to let them come with to the movies, the park, to Steve's house. Bucky hated it. But his ma insisted that he be nice to them. So he let them tag along every once and a while, a little line of children following his every step like a row of baby ducks.

As they'd grown up, they'd wanted to go with him less and less. Instead, they played amongst themselves and made friends with the children down the hall. Bucky rarely saw them after he'd moved in with Steve. Surprisingly, he'd missed them. They were annoying and demanding, but they were still and always would be his sisters. When they were gone, he missed them.

"James, you alright?" a voice broke through the haze and Bucky looked up, surprised to see that he wasn't in his and Steve's apartment. He didn't recognize the place and there were people there he didn't know.

"What's happening?" a man asked, his blonde hair sticking up in every direction and an intense black eye marring half his face. He was watching Bucky curiously, one of his hands resting on a gun. Bucky held completely still, eyes finding the woman who spoke first. Something about her was familiar, though he was sure that they'd never met before.

"James, it's me, Nova. Remember? We're friends," the woman, Nova, stood slowly, hands out in a placating gesture. Bucky tightened his grip on the beer bottle in his hand, knowing that it was something he could use as a weapon if he had to. But the woman before him didn't look dangerous. In fact, with a small smile on her face, she was almost pretty. Her eyes were what really caught his attention, the feature on her face that made it beautiful. Her eyes were the exact color of chocolate.

"Nova," he tried out her name, tasting it on his tongue. It was odd, but felt right. Like he'd said it before. Maybe he had. Maybe they'd met. He'd met a lot of women and he didn't always remember their names. He was sure he would remember a dame with eyes like that, though.

"Yeah, that's me. If you keep forgetting me, I'm going to get sad. I thought we were friends but you keep locking me out. Wait, hold still!" Nova twirled, waving her hands in the air as Bucky stood up straighter, confused. Then, she was skipping over to him happily, a small smile still on her lips. "Doesn't matter if you remember me. Sit down."

Bucky took a seat on the stool Nova motioned to. Before he could ask what her intentions were, she was behind him, fingers brushing along his scalp. A sigh escaped him before he knew what was happening and he leaned back into her touch, eyes slipping closed. Whoever she was, her hands were like magic, her short nails scraping through his hair easily.

"What's going on?" someone hissed by her. Bucky flinched, having not known there was a person besides the other man in the room. His eyes flew open and he got an upside down look at Nova's face, one of her hands falling to press against his shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry, darlin', Nat doesn't bite. Which you should already know. Well, actually, she has her biting moments, but I think you have to beg for them first…" Nova hummed, her head disappearing from Bucky's view. He sat up when her fingers left his hair, surprised to see that the stray strands of hair that had fallen in his eyes were somehow pulled back, away from his face. He didn't have too long to focus on that fact, however, because the other woman, a gorgeous redhead with looks that could kill, had a meat cleaver in one hand and was positioning Nova's hand on a cutting board she'd been using to slice up luncheon meat.

"Tash! Probably not a good idea!" someone behind him called.

"I didn't mean anything by it! Are you going to get this defensive every time we talk?! Seriously, it was a joke! Like when I call Clint a jackass. Though, he really is a jackass. But I really do think you'll probably bite if someone requested it. Hell, I've seen you bite Clint while fighting him, why do I have to be threatened for this to come about-"

A flash of pain slammed through Bucky's mind and he almost fell over, grabbing the sink in a vice like grip. Memories returned quickly, bright flashes of events and people. Steve, Evangeline, HYDRA, Natalia… Nova.

Nova was in danger.

Before Barton even realized he was back on his feet, James was on top of Nova and Natalia. He threw out his metal hand, catching the blade as Natalia swung it down experimentally. The sharp shriek of metal meeting metal echoed through the air and James wrapped an arm around Nova's waist, yanking her out of Natalia's hold.

"That's why it had to happen," Natalia muttered. James paid her no mind, grabbing the blade of the cleaver and bending it. It wasn't completely useless, but no one would be cutting meat with it anytime soon.

"Are you… back?" Barton asked slowly as James started marching Nova away from Natalia.

"Yes," he snapped, inspecting the woman next to him. She was the complete bane of his existence. Not only was she completely unafraid when it came to dealing with him or Natalia, she also didn't seem to realize how dangerous he really was when he didn't remember her. What if he had been the Asset? If she had tried to put the Asset's hair up…. Natalia cutting off her arm would have been the better option.

"Thank goodness, I hate when you do that. I mean, Bucky's super nice all the time and I love seeing him again. Did you know that he even holds himself differently than you? Do you remember what's happening when he's in charge? Does Bucky remember me from the last time we met or is he a clean slate every time?" Nova started up a barrage of questions while James herded her toward the elevator. Even her lab had to be better than this. James was one hundred percent done with Natalia and Barton for the time being.

"Are you leaving already? Come on, that was only one near-death experience. Practically nothing when you think about it," Barton complained loudly. James shoved Nova into the elevator as the doors slid open, following her in as soon as her feet crossed the threshold.

"Bye, guys! See you later!" Nova called out, waving as James growled under his breath, glaring up at the ceiling.


	17. Holiday Magic

**Song: Winter Wonderland/ Don't Worry Be Happy by Pentatonix ft. Tori Kelly**

 **Hey! Thanks for all the reviews and the love, love you guys too! So, college is starting and I'm all moved in, so this is the celebratory chapter. You're welcome. ;)**

"Are you sure you want to be around for this? It's going to take a while and most people run for the hills when I start decorating. Not that I want you to leave or anything, it just gets a little messy. What with the Christmas music blaring, lights going up, and eggnog on tap," Nova started, sure that James would turn around and run as soon as he knew what her intentions were. After depositing her in her lab the night before, James had disappeared. She wasn't sure where he'd gone, but she knew that he wasn't particularly happy with her. It wasn't her fault Natasha thought it would be a good idea to threaten to cut off her arm at the wrist.

James just gave her an empty look, like she wasn't telling him to get the hell out before she decided to drag him into her Christmas whirlwind. It wasn't her fault, not really. Her parents made Christmas a huge deal at her house. From the day after Thanksgiving to the day after Christmas, there was always holiday music playing in the house. Lights were put up soon after and, the weekend before Christmas, they all went and picked out a tree from the local nursery. None of that fake pine either. A big ass, live Christmas tree, the biggest and healthiest they could find. They'd set it up in the family room, surround it by a mountain of presents, and light it up. It was tradition.

She wasn't sure James was ready for the kind of OCD she got into when Christmas was involved. It was half to do with her mama wanting everything perfect and half to do with Maggie insisting that all the decorations be symmetrical. When she was little, it was a nightmare. Now, it was the most fun she had in her lab all year.

"Fine. If you want to stay, stay at your own peril. Just remember: I warned you. Explicitly. And repeatedly. This won't be pretty. You'll think I'm insane afterward. You might even try to have me committed to the asylum after this week. But don't worry, I don't judge. If you run out screaming, I won't even bring it up again," Nova promised, secretly hoping FRIDAY would videotape it if James really did run out screaming. Bonus points if he was crying as well. She wouldn't bring it up again, not to him. But she was definitely showing all of her best friends. Tony would shit himself if he saw that.

"Just start," James demanded, shaking his head like he was disappointed in her. Shrugging her shoulders, Nova opened the first box she'd pulled out of storage the night before.

James didn't need to know, but Nova hadn't ever gone to sleep last night. She hadn't been tired and it seemed like a waste to go to sleep when she had time to work on LEW. Sleep could wait. It wasn't like she hadn't gone forever without sleep before. Staying up one night was child's play compared to some of her records. Those records were almost all made with Tony in the same lab. Together, they were worse than they were apart.

"You insisted. You asked for this. I'm not going to feel bad later. Oh my god, look at this!" Nova pulled out a string of bright white snowflake decorations, holding them up for James to see as she stared at them. Slowly, excitement started building up in her veins and she knew that she needed to get all the decorations up soon so that she could calm down and pack her things. The decorations in her lab would only last about a week before she was leaving with James in tow, but she was perfectly fine with that. "Oh, I forgot I had this. My brother, Alex, the older one—not Jas, the younger one—gave me this when I was six because I didn't really have many decorations to put up in my room."

Nova held up a snow globe for James to see, shaking it so that the glitter on the inside swirled. Inside was a small model of the Eiffel Tower, standing on a pile of snow. He'd gotten it on his very first SHIELD mission and brought it home for her. She hadn't understood why he was gone at the time, but now that she did it was even more special. Especially considering he'd been shot on the same mission.

"It's a snow globe. There's glitter inside the liquid which makes it look like it's snowing on the landscape. In this case, it's the Eiffel Tower, which is in Paris, which you probably already knew. But anyway, they're pretty cool and common when vacation season comes around. Lots of places have them as souvenirs," Nova explained quickly, shaking the ball again so James could see the glitter swirl.

"I know what snow globes are. They had them in the forties," James interrupted without his usual ire. Nova blinked, kind of surprised. She'd never considered when snow globes had been invented. Sometimes, she just explained things to him without actually thinking. Considering all the times he was probably confused by her rambling, it was kind of cool that he knew what she was talking about now. And that he acknowledged that he knew about it instead of just listening compliantly.

"Cool. I didn't know that. Here, take these then," Nova pulled out five more, handing them off as James hurried to catch them, his eyes going wide. She laughed happily, pointing toward her desk. "One on each of the shelves. I want even distribution, no crowding. And make sure that they aren't covered up by the hanging monitors or anything, I like to see them. And don't drop any; that is not a mess I want to clean up. If I don't want to clean it up, I doubt the cleaning company will want to."

James stalked over to her desk and carefully set one snow globe down, shifting some paper just slightly so that it was in the middle of the shelf she'd been talking about. He glanced back like a curious child, calculating gaze taking in her posture. Nova relaxed a little when she realized he was taking it seriously and wasn't about to try and fuck with her over this, nodding slightly to show that she approved of the placing. With that, he turned back around and started putting the others down, comparing them carefully to ensure they were all evenly spaced. Content, Nova turned back and pulled a string of tangled Christmas lights out of the box, wondering why she didn't separate and organize the decorations _after_ Christmas. Not even Evie had the patience for that shit.

"FRIDAY, I need Christmas music. Now," Nova demanded, grabbing the tangle of lights. Determined to straighten it all out, she curled her legs under herself and went to work, humming along merrily to the music FRIDAY pulled up.

Two hours later, Nova was laying in the middle of the floor of her lab, hair in a mess around her, her glasses askew, staring up at the ceiling blankly.

"Nova?" James spoke softly, his words barely sounding over the music that Nova had long ago dimmed. She let her head fall to the side to stare at the super soldier who was kneeling next to her, his head cocked to the side and eyes slightly narrowed. His shoulders were taut and his jaw was slightly clenched, all signs that he wasn't completely comfortable. Groaning, Nova threw an arm over her eyes, knocking her glasses completely off her face. The glasses hadn't helped her figure out the lights in any way. In fact, they seemed to have magically made the problem worse.

"What?" Nova asked, wishing the floor would open and swallow her whole. Did this happen every year?

"I fixed it." The words were so quiet and soft that they didn't register in Nova's mind for a moment. When they did, she frowned. What had he fixed? Did he touch something? Holy shit, did he touch the magnet?

She bolted upright, spinning to face him in a move that would make any gymnast proud, wide eyes taking in his frame quickly where he was kneeling in front of her. Dark hair was pulled back into a messy bun that he'd obviously done himself, his jaw was freshly shaved for the day and his dark blue eyes were focused on Nova. His eyes were a little wider than usual and his lips were quirked just slightly up at the corners, pulling Nova's gaze down when he shifted his weight slightly, holding something out to her.

Metal arm intact (or as intact as it ever was), red plaid shirt that was too large in the shoulders pulled over a plain white tee shirt that was too tight around his abdomen, jeans that were too tight…

"Holy shit, you got them untangled!" Nova shrieked, eyes finally finding the object James was offering her. Laying over his metal arm was a perfectly coiled stretch of Christmas lights. Lights she'd been fighting with forever. Lights she'd been about ready to throw away. "How the hell did you do that without me noticing?"

"You were daydreaming," James shrugged, as if that answered all her questions. More specifically, she'd probably just zoned out because her caffeine high had petered out, but he didn't need to know that. What he needed to know was how fucking happy she was that he'd fixed the goddamn lights! What was Christmas without way too many Christmas lights?

"Oh my god, you're a dream come true. I'm so glad Steve adopted you like the cute slightly vicious puppy that you are! Just imagine if Steve hadn't brought you home and Evie hadn't met Steve and we hadn't met each other, I would have been stuck in this lab all week trying to figure that out," Nova cried, waving her hands in the air. James raised an eyebrow, obviously surprised at her outburst but doing nothing to stop it. "Thank you so much, James!"

Throwing her arms out, Nova dragged him into her body, not surprised when James easily held the lights away from her, anticipating her movements. His human arm slowly came around to encircle her waist as Nova held him to her tightly, the scent of cold metal and mint running over her. There was also the scent of clean, healthy male sweat that wasn't completely disgusting. In fact, Nova pressed her nose into his shoulder to get closer, wishing he was more comfortable with hugs. She was a hugger.

Pulling back enough to look up, Nova's eyes snagged on James's, his dark blue eyes flecked with grey. He stared down at her, pupils just slightly dilated, and his tongue darted out, wetting his cupid's bow lips.

Nova moved before she could think of the repercussions, pressing her lips into his.

For a moment, neither of them moved, his warm lips pressed against hers. Nova knew her lips were chapped from all the Dumdums and science, the thought that he was probably disgusted flashing through her mind right as he moved.

The arm around Nova's waist tightened, pulling her deeper into James's chest as it slid up her back, cupping her neck so his fingers could tangle in her hair. His lips softened, molding to her own and opening slowly. His tongue gently swiped against her lips and Nova opened for him, arms around his neck tightening as she pulled herself closer, one hand pulling his rubber band out of his hair so that she could bury her fingers in the soft locks.

A strong, cool arm wrapped around her hips suddenly and Nova was slid forward, her knees fitting between James's on the floor like a puzzle piece. From her place, Nova was in the perfect position to push up to kneel, deepening the kiss as James tilted his head back to allow her better access. Dragging her fingernails across his scalp, Nova reveled in the shudder that ran up his spine at the contact, his breath hitching as their lips broke apart. A moment later, he was back against her lips, gently biting her bottom lip and swiping away the pain before it could sting.

Nova leaned into him and pushed gently, forcing him back against the floor. James lowered down, lips never leaving her own as he brought her down with him. Nova cupped the back of his head in her hands, knowing that the floor was hard and not wanting it to hurt him. Dragging her lips away from his, she left a trail of open mouthed kisses along his jaw. Before she could do much more, James was leading her back to his lips with fingers twisted in her hair. Not bothering to fight, Nova sank into the kiss, humming in appreciation when he rolled his tongue against hers. Cold metal met the warm skin at the nape of her neck…

Suddenly, Nova's brain righted itself and she blinked back into her body, sure that she'd somehow been abducted by aliens or something. Staring down at James, with his eyes closed and arms around her, she wondered at the idea that this was the calmest she'd ever seen him. Hating herself for having to break the moment, Nova slowed their movements, pulling back from the kiss and sitting up.

James immediately noticed, pulling back faster than Nova did. He kept his hands carefully away from her and was suddenly watching her like she might try and attack him.

Silence reigned for a long moment, each of them staring at the other. 'Jingle Bell Rock' played softly in the background as Nova licked her lips, the warm taste of him still clinging to her. James's eyes snapped down to watch the movement and Nova was pretty sure that wasn't her best idea. She knew his self-control was legendary, but she didn't revel in putting him in such a shitty position where he'd have to test it either.

God, Evie was going to kill her.


	18. The Fallout

**Song: I Don't Wanna Be In Love by Good Charlotte**

 **Hello, everyone! Sorry I'm a day late, school has been crazy this week. I'm glad everyone loved the kiss in the last chapter, you have no idea how excited I was to share that with you! I hope you like this chapter as well, it was a lot of fun to write. Let me know what you think. As always, thanks to everyone who reads, reviews, favorites, and follows!**

James stared at Nova, waiting for her mouth to open and start spilling out words that would probably make the situation a hell of a lot less awkward. At least when she was talking he knew she was alright. And he would know immediately what she was thinking, no matter if she was trying to keep it from him or not.

Right now, she was terrifyingly silent.

Unease unfurled in his gut, doubt starting to rush through him. Had he done something wrong? She'd kissed him first, he'd simply reciprocated. Had he known she tasted like warmth and sunshine with a hint of bubblegum, he would have kissed her a lot sooner, but she didn't know that. Right now, she was sitting tucked between his knees, wide chocolate eyes on his face. Something about her expression was stricken and he got the feeling she was internally freaking out.

He'd much prefer an external tantrum to an internal one. At least then he would know what was bothering her. Was it the kiss? Did he do it wrong? He hadn't kissed a girl in a long time, probably since the night he'd deployed when he'd had to leave Steve at the enlistment station to take his date and her friend dancing. Most of his reaction to her kissing him was muscle memory, his hands automatically finding her and pulling her closer to get a better angle. Maybe she had meant it as something less than what he had made it. Had he pressed too far? Was she upset with him?

It wasn't like he would blame her if she was upset. Hell, he'd let her slap him if it would make her feel better. Or even just shock her into stringing two words together. For how much her talking grated on his nerves, he desperately missed it in this moment.

"Talk," James demanded, the plates in his arm shifting as his fingers formed a tight fist. Had something been in his hand, it would have been broken beyond repair at this point. Thankfully, he'd put the Christmas lights down when Nova had kissed him and he'd since let Nova go. The last thing he wanted in this moment was to accidently hurt Nova.

The woman before him jerked, as if waking up from a dream, wild eyes finding his.

"Oh my Heimdall, I'm so sorry! Fuck, I wasn't even thinking. I mean, I've always known you're hot and that you're fairly nice when you aren't being grumpy cat, but I didn't think about what it could mean to kiss you! I swear it just happened! I was just really thankful and you were there with that face and that body. You know, it's really unfair how good looking you are; it should be illegal and probably is in some countries. But, I mean, you should have pushed me away! The lab is a safe place, not a sexual harassment festering pool! Wait, are we coworkers? I work for Stark Industries and you're an Avenger technically, but that's under Tony's domain and I bet you could have me fired if you wanted," Nova kept talking at top speed, James having to work to keep up with her line of thought now that he'd gotten her started. It was a welcome relief from the oppressing silence, but the sudden burst of chatter caused his brain to stutter awake, racing to keep up. "I mean, Pepper would probably fight it and Tony would be pissed but I would totally resign if that would make you feel better. The lab is supposed to be a place you can come hang out, no pressure, and I ruined it!"

Nova's hands found her hair, tugging on the ends almost violently. Her entire body was coiled and humming like a livewire, seconds away from igniting. James' hands jumped up on their own accord and he grabbed her wrists, gently pulling her fingers away from her hair. She was going to hurt herself if she wasn't careful. Besides that, she was talking herself into a panic attack. He hadn't seen such an intense bout of panic since before Steve had become Captain America and even then there was at least an inhaler to calm Steve's breathing. If Nova fully panicked, James wasn't sure what he'd do to calm her down.

"It's fine," James interrupted her, lowering her hands back to her lap and holding them there to make sure she didn't go to pull her hair again.

"-can't believe I was so stupid… Wait, what?" Nova trailed off from whatever she had been saying, eyes finally focusing on his now that he had her attention. James very carefully met her gaze, knowing it was important to her that he wasn't uncomfortable. Why it was important, he didn't know, but he knew it was.

"You're lab is a safe place. I'm not going to get you fired," James explained slowly and clearly, maintaining eye contact. Nova blinked again, her fingers tangling together as she took this information in. He moved his hands to cup hers and hopefully stop some of her fidgeting, the warmth of her hands registering in the back of his mind.

He wasn't sure why Nova would think getting her fired would make him feel better about anything. While James himself wasn't much of a people person, it was quite obvious that Nova was even less so. He rarely saw her out of the lab unless she was called out or he went somewhere else and she wanted to find him. Hell, there was even a small cot surrounded by the furnishings of a tiny bedroom in the corner of her lab. Whatever Nova pretended, her job was her life. Taking away her livelihood and the most important thing to her wouldn't make him feel better at all. He had done that enough to people throughout his time as the Asset. James wanted to be different now.

"You're not upset?" Nova practically whispered this time and James noticed immediately that the music dimmed even more, practically disappearing so that he could hear her speak. The AI was paying attention, always paying attention. This time, he let it go. He had more important things to worry about. Like the pretty dame that had just kissed him.

"No. Why would I be upset that a pretty dame just kissed me?" James asked honestly, still unsure why she thought he'd be mad at her. Maybe he hadn't expected it and maybe it had surprised him, but being mad was completely different than mild shock. If anything, she should have been mad at him. For so many things. Why would she want to kiss him in the first place? Because he figured out how to untangle her Christmas lights? That certainly didn't make him a good person. He could detangle Christmas lights for the entire Northern hemisphere and it still wouldn't be enough to make him a good person.

"Uh, well, I dunno. I just… you're still adjusting to life here and I just come out of nowhere and practically maul you and most of the time I'm not even sure if you really like me all that much because I'm kind of annoying and you don't like loud people and I'm probably the loudest person you'll ever meet. Plus, I really think you're off limits. Oh, Harry J. Potter, I'm going to get a super lecture from Captain Rogers!" Nova squeaked.

"Harry J. Potter?" James asked, honestly perplexed. Had she just used Harry Potter to swear?

"Move past that! Your super best friend is going to kill me! My best friend is going to kill me! I corrupted your innocence! I'm a terrible person! Some saint somewhere is rolling over in their grave!" Nova hollered.

James couldn't help it. For the first time in months, he burst out laughing.

Nova froze like he'd just pulled a gun, but he couldn't help it, his metal hand flying away from her and pressing into his stomach to hold him up as he guffawed.

"Corrupted my innocence?" James forced out between deep chuckles, wondering where the hell she thought she got off thinking that _she'd_ corrupted _him_. All they'd done was kiss. A pretty chaste kiss at that. No wandering hands, no rutting, barely any tongue. She was a saint compared to some of the gals he'd gone out with back in his time. And if a saint was rolling over in their grave because of a kiss like that, James would hate to know what those saints had been doing when he'd been taking dames out in the forties.

"Why are you laughing? This isn't funny," Nova insisted.

James felt her start to fidget again and tightened his fingers around hers, wishing she would calm down a little. He doubted Steve would do much after finding out James had kissed a girl in the twenty first century. He might buy him a drink and clap him on the back proudly, but that was about it. Then again, James wasn't quite sure what Steve would think of that girl being Nova. After Evangeline's abduction, Steve and Nova had ended up spending a lot of time together while Evangeline was resting. And James knew that his friend appreciated Nova's devotion to Evangeline. He owed Nova a lot. James did too, really. But what would Steve think if he knew that Nova had kissed James? And that James had been a more than willing participant?

"Sorry, sweetheart, you say the damnedest things," James forced himself to calm down, taking in the sincerely apprehensive expression on Nova's face. She had her bottom lip between her teeth and was gnawing away, intent on biting a hole through it he was sure.

"You're not helping," Nova muttered, fingers tangling together tighter. James scrubbed at his jaw, shaking his head a little with residual amusement.

"Why do you have to tell them?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders. If Nova was uncomfortable with telling people about it, he wasn't going to go blabbing to Steve and Evangeline. If she decided not to tell them, that was her decision and he would stand by it.

"What do you mean why do I have to tell them? I tell Evie everything. She knows all my secrets. She knows the secret formula to my AI code. She knows the combination to my safe. She knows where the key to my lockbox is hidden. She knows my bra size," Nova listed, intent on getting him to understand how serious this was. "She knows who I lost my virginity to, which we're never talking about again. She knows exactly how many places I puked at on the Sci Ops campus. She knows all the words to my favorite movie."

"So don't tell Steve," James offered, not seeing the big deal. Steve knew everything about Bucky. Everything. If Bucky had a bra size, Steve would know it. But Steve did not know everything about the Asset. And he knew even less about James as he was now. James kept things from Steve to protect him. The pain, the nightmares, the flashbacks, they had all worn on Steve as well. And James was done hurting his friend when it was obvious that Steve had been healing before he'd shown up. So, he kept certain things from him. Some of the memories, some of the nightmares. Steve didn't even know that James still had relapses into Bucky and the Asset. Keeping things from Steve was easy because he _didn't want to see_. James knew that Steve loved him, but Steve also wanted James to be happy and healthy and back to the man he remembered. And so James let him think he was coming back, comfortable. It was easier that way.

"I can't ask Evie to keep a secret from her boyfriend. That's not fair to either of them," Nova sighed, relaxing a little. James ran his thumb over the back of her hand, glancing around her lab.

While she'd been fighting the lights, James had been setting up some of her other decorations. All of the monitors were ringed in tinsel, there was a wreath on every wall, and the various machines all had little Santa hats on them. The snow globes were all precisely placed, he'd laid out various Christmas themed table cloths on the tables she deemed safe for him to touch, and jingle bells hung off the computer monitors. The entire place was festive. The only thing he didn't understand was how she could have _more_.

"Maybe I just won't tell her for now. I mean, it's not a big deal, right?" Nova asked, her chin tilting up as she searched his face. James stared back down at her, shaking his head a little as soon as she was done.

"No big deal," he repeated easily. It wasn't a big deal. He'd kissed girls before, she wasn't his first or his only. Besides, it was probably better that Steve and Evangeline didn't know. He'd reassured her that they wouldn't judge harshly, but he was saying that in terms of her involvement. He wasn't as sure how they would respond to him.

Nova wasn't a child. She was obviously an adult who made her own decisions. She'd made the decision to kiss him and he definitely wasn't against the idea. In fact, some parts of him liked the idea a little too much. But she didn't know his entire past. She didn't know all of the people he had killed, all the things he'd done. Killing definitely wasn't the worst thing on his list of crimes and sometimes, it was a gift in the end. If she'd known everything, all of his secrets, would she have still kissed him? Probably not. But James preferred she didn't know everything.

Steve would want him to come clean. Everyone pretended the punk had an undeterred moral guidance system and, sometimes, it kicked James right in the ass. Steve's moral codes were always slightly skewed. He was a good guy, stand up fella, but he was also an idiot. Evangeline and Steve didn't have secrets. James knew that because Steve was sure to tell Evangeline everything and anything. It worked for them and James was happy it did.

But he wasn't that person. He was made of secrets. How could he bare his soul to anyone? And why would he for just one kiss? All the things he'd done, he had done them. People said it wasn't his fault, he was brainwashed, but he'd been the one to pull the trigger. His hands had wrapped around throats and squeezed life out of them. No matter what, he carried that guilt on his conscience. He refused to put that on another person. And Steve would insist that the moral standpoint was the right one.

Evangeline was just too damn nice for her own good. She would understand whatever he chose and that pissed him off more than Steve's holier-than-thou attitude. They both had the best of intentions, but it was almost painful to know that Evangeline would forgive him no matter what. But could she really forgive him if he corrupted her best friend? Evangeline talked about Nova a lot. She was protective and very proud of the woman before him. And James could ruin it. He could ruin all of Nova and the parts of him that were so deep in the dark wouldn't even blink.

For some reason, the words he'd repeated to Nova felt sour on his tongue after a moment, heavy and layered.

They agreed that it was no big deal but it felt like something had changed. Maybe it was a bigger deal than either of them realized.

"Does this mean I win the bet? Because I did get you on the floor, you know," Nova interrupted his thoughts, his mind reeling. The bet? Oh…

"You're more devious than Steve," James shot back, shaking his head in shock. Maybe Nova hadn't planned to kiss him and she was still obviously not comfortable with it, but she would take advantage of the fact that she'd managed to get him on the floor. And he couldn't even argue. She'd had him pinned. The problem was that he hadn't minded in the least.

"Shopping trip! Yes!"


	19. A Tale as Old as Time

**Songs: Tale as Old as Time from Beauty and the Beast and Stay by Mayday Parade**

 **Beauty and the Beast! I can't wait until Beauty and the Beast comes out of the vault so I can buy it on DVD. Honestly, I've been looking for like two years and I can't find it. It's my second favorite Disney movie.**

 **Okay, so I don't know how to make covers for these sorts of things. So, if anyone is interested in sending me some covers to look at, I'll love you forever. Also, I'll definitely put photo credits up. Please?**

Nova sat up, staring at the decorations around her lab and trying to figure out where to put her third baby Christmas tree. Tony had expressly forbid her from getting real pine trees in the Tower, so she'd settled for small fake ones with built in lights. The first two were Snoopy and Rudolf themed, respectively. This one was princess themed and held Nova's favorite Disney princess, Belle.

Belle being her favorite had more to do with Belle's dad than anything. Nova had found it particularly interesting that Belle's dad was an inventor. She'd also likened the talking household items to Tony's AI and robots, so it wasn't like she didn't have a personal connection to the movie. Whenever Cogsworth came on screen, Nova had squealed excitedly, pointing him out and calling him JARVIS. It had taken a long time for her to understand he was a clock and not a robot AI.

"FRIDAY, you know what I should make? A real, working Cogsworth. I could really make all of the 'Beauty and the Beast' characters. Chip was super cool too, he would be fun. I don't think I'd be able to drink out of a cup that talked, though. But he was so cute. Maybe I should just get a cup that looks like him so that I can have one," Nova hummed, propping her elbow up on her knee and resting her cheek on her open palm. Her body was starting to droop to the side and she shook herself, glancing at the clock. It was four o'clock in the morning. If she was going to sleep at some point, she should try now.

But every time she stopped moving, her mind swung back to the kiss with James. And not in the good way she wanted to remember the experience.

Nope, instead, she started freaking out again. Really, what had she been thinking when she'd kissed him? Captain Rogers was going to kick her ass when he found out. Not to mention how Evie would react. They both loved James and they protected him at all costs. And everyone knew Nova's track record with relationships. Exhibit one: she was still single. Not a good sign. Exhibit two: she'd punched her last boyfriend in the face. Twice.

It wasn't like he didn't deserve it. He had cheated on her. But that was how most of her relationships turned out. She never gave men the attention they thought they deserved. Too much Tony in her veins. Even if Tony did have Pepper, Nova had never met a male version of Pepper. Actually, the only person Nova knew with that much patience was Pepper herself. Literally no one else on the planet was as understanding as Pepper. It would definitely be weird if Nova dated Pepper, especially considering the woman had dated Tony.

The point was, if she didn't keep working, she was going to devolve into a pit of despair and she was totally against that happening. So, she was going to keep decorating until she literally ran herself into the ground. It probably wasn't her best plan ever and it was far from healthy, but it was all she had.

Carefully, Nova grabbed the decorations for the tiny tree, starting toward one of the far tables in her lab. Setting the tree down, she set the box of decorations down next to it and got to work finding a proper plugin. It didn't take her long to have the lights working. For once, none of the lights on the tree were burnt out and she simply had to put the other decorations on. It was always nice when the lights all worked. Replacing a light was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Unwrapping the first decoration, a small smile curved her lips. The first one she picked was Chip. She hung him near the top, a place of prominence. Belle was her favorite princess, but definitely not her favorite character. Actually, if Nova was forced to pick a favorite character, it would be Belle's dad. Not that that was a real surprise. He never came with the decorations she could find, though. Tony had one made for her one year when she was little, but it went on the tree at the Dugan house. Most of her tree ornaments were still there, gathering dust each year until they were pulled out to shine.

"You know, you're so cute. And when you turn human, you're even cuter. Sultan is pretty cute too. I want a dog that's a footrest. Actually, I want a footrest that follows me around wherever I go so that I can put my feet up. Big points if it barks too. Maybe I can make one of those. I'm sure Tony has a plan for it somewhere," Nova informed Chip, reaching out to grab another ornament. Pulling this one out, she grinned at a miniature Lumiere, the candlestick. "And you, where's your girlfriend? Babette is probably waiting. I'll see if I can find her in here. Maybe she's in the attic. I could check quick."

"No, you can't," a voice informed her. Nova jumped, spinning as she pressed a hand into her chest. Her breath burst out in a squeak of surprise as soon as her eyes landed on the very sleep rumpled form of Sergeant James Barnes.

His dark hair was slightly wavy and bunched up in the back, like he'd been laying on it for a while. His grey eyes were half lidded and hard as steel, glaring at her under ridiculously long lashes. His lips were pulled down into an adorable pout, his jaw loose for once. He had on a shirt, inside out and backwards, with the tag sticking up toward his neck. The material looked soft and was grey, loose for once. The sweats he had on were tied around his hips, riding obscenely low. His feet were completely bare and all in all he looked like he'd rolled straight out of bed and come up to her lab.

"What? What are you doing up?" Nova asked, checking the time again. Yep, just a little past four in the morning. What in the world was James doing awake at a time like this?

"I don't fucking know. The AI woke me up," James snapped, shooting a deadly glare up at the ceiling. FRIDAY didn't actually live in the ceiling, she was omnipresent. Anywhere that could record information in the Tower did. Security feeds, computers, microphones, cell phones, everything was linked to FRIDAY and she sifted through it for anything important.

"Is something wrong?" Nova pressed, eyes flickering to the elevator. It wasn't on lockdown which meant there wasn't an immediate threat. And she doubted James would come in without a weapon if there was a threat. He was the kind of guy who would have six guns on his person before even thinking of leaving his apartment.

"You're wrong," he growled, which made no sense. Before she could protest or ask more, James took a large step forward and grabbed her by the waist, deftly throwing her over his human shoulder.

The breath left her lungs in a painful 'oomph', but they were moving before she could do much more than squeak in protest. Of course, James didn't even pause at that, striding purposefully toward the elevator doors without so much as sparing her a second thought. He didn't even seem to notice the extra weight as he moved, still as graceful as a cat burglar.

"Where we going?"

"You're going to sleep," James informed her harshly, his grip on the back of her thighs firm. Nova hung upside down, considering this. Sleeping wasn't exactly the worst thing she could think of. At least he wasn't about to make her watch 'The Notebook' or something. But why he had to come down all caveman in the middle of the night and drag her to bed was beyond her. He'd said the AI woke him up, which had to be FRIDAY because JARVIS was in Vision now, but that made no sense. Why had FRIDAY woken him up to make her go to bed?

The door to the elevator hissed open and Nova pushed up off of James's back to see where they were, kind of surprised when he walked right into _his_ apartment. She'd only been there twice, once when he'd hurt himself on the sink and the other when she'd come over to apologize and she'd instead invited him for Christmas. He'd never officially invited her to see it and she hadn't really pried, though that was one of her joys in life. Maybe it was because he was half asleep.

Nova opened her mouth, ready to question him, the words dying in her throat as he took her straight through the master bedroom with his unrumpled bed. If he hadn't been in bed, why did he looked like he'd been sleeping? Where did he sleep? There was no sign of someone sleeping on the couch and he hadn't bothered to throw her in one of the guest bedrooms. Instead, he walked her straight through what had to be his bedroom, to the master bathroom.

Before she could get a good look around, James flipped her off of his shoulder. Nova braced herself for a painful impact, squeezing her eyes shut and tensing rapidly…

Only to land in a sea of softness.

Opening her eyes, Nova got her answer.

James's bed didn't look like it was slept in because it hadn't been slept in. He was using the _tub_. Shoved in the large sized tub, fit for a super soldier, were a bunch of pillows and blankets. Nova wasn't quite sure where he got them from, there were pillows on his bed and blankets that looked brand new, but here she was lying in a mess of blankets and pillows, shoved in every nook and cranny for comfort. Before she could get too comfortable, James climbed in next to her. The Jacuzzi tub was definitely big enough for both of them so long as they squeezed in a little bit and Nova curled onto her side, pulling her knees up towards her chest and facing James.

"Go to sleep," James demanded, staring straight at her. He was stretched out on his side, a pillow shoved under his head while he made sure that they didn't touch.

"We're not going to talk about sleeping in the tub?" Nova asked, just to be sure. James shot her a completely 100% done look, and Nova nodded sharply. "It can wait," she agreed.

It only took a few minutes for James to fall back into a steady breathing pattern, his entire body relaxing into the tub. His human hand was pressed against the porcelain of the tub and Nova stared at him, a frown pulling at her lips as she waited for her own body to give out on her. At almost three days of no sleep, it was about time that she got a nap in. Besides, it wasn't like she would be able to escape with James lying next to her. She wasn't stupid. If she tried to get up, she knew he would be awake almost immediately.

Still, she contemplated this new development, wondering just why he was in the tub, of all places. He could have chosen anywhere. It was, after all, his apartment and he had free rein. The master bedroom was huge, holding a California king quite comfortably. There was a walk-in closet so he didn't need a dresser and the only other furnishing Nova had seen were the bedside tables. One on each side, also empty. There wasn't any proof that he even tried to live in that bedroom.

Okay, in all honesty, the tub was kind of comfortable.

To be fair, he had shoved all the blankets he could in the space and the pillows were soft and comfortable. Plus, it was kind of nice to have someone in the same apartment as her again, even if it was a grumpy super assassin. But her mind wouldn't shut off now that she had a problem in front of her.

Sighing a little, she reached over and poked James in the side.

"What?" he snarled, one eye peeking open at her. Nova pushed up to hover over him, propping herself on her elbows.

"Why are we in the tub?" she asked, figuring it would do no use to try and dance around what she wanted to know. James closed his eyes again, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. For a moment, she missed his peaceful expression from the moment before. "I'm just wondering; you don't have to tell me. I just, there's a great bed out there and you chose the tub. Which is remarkably comfortable and I really like all the blankets and pillows, but most people don't sleep in tubs. They're used for bathing and washing and sometimes cleaning up the dog if he makes a mess-"

"Aren't you tired?" James cut her off, forcing both eyes open again with what looked like sheer force of will alone.

"Yes. But my brain never really shuts off. Why do you think I'm always awake when you wander down to my lab?" Nova hummed, taking a look over the edge of the tub to see that someone had done a fantastic job of cleaning up the floor after James's little accident. James groaned when she scooted closer to try and see out the door of the bathroom, wanting to see if she was right about his room not being lived in.

"Because I come down during the day," James informed her, as if she should have known that.

"My lab doesn't have windows, how am I supposed to know when you come down?" Nova snapped, pouting a little. Giving up on being subtle, she leaned over James and grabbed the edge of the tub, arching over him and tilting her head to see if she could make out any clothing just laying around his room. There was nothing from the bathroom door straight to the door that led out to the living room.

"What are you doing?" James demanded, shoving up to a sitting position. Well, it was technically a sitting position, Nova supposed. He was slumped against the back of the tub, obviously still fighting sleep. For how often he was out on missions for days on end getting little to no sleep, it was kind of funny that he couldn't keep his eyes open now.

"I'm trying to get a look at your bedroom. Seriously, do you even go in there? There aren't any clothes on the floor, you don't have any pictures, and the bed looks like it's straight out of a Bed, Bath, & Beyond catalog. It doesn't even look like you're using it. If you don't like the stuff in your room, Pepper would give you an allowance to change whatever you want. She's pretty awesome, even if she dumped Tony. Tony would give you an allowance too. He pretends to be a stone cold bastard, but he's really just a tech savvy teddy bear," Nova explained, resting her chin on her hand. Her elbow pressed into the porcelain almost painfully, but she ignored it, too intrigued. "I'm sure they could get you a Temper-pedic or something. That's a bed that can change the mattress firmness. They also have memory foam now, which basically imprints to your body, if that's something you're into. You could change the comforter too, I don't know how I feel about the comforter you have. It's kind of just there. Do you even like the color red?"

"I like the tub," James informed her stoically.

"But why? I mean, it's a nice tub for a bath. Even has jets. Have you ever tried the jets? Tony let me try his Jacuzzi once and I swear I died and went to Heaven. It was amazing. After a long mission, I bet you would love to come back and soak in the tub. Instead of sleep in it," Nova pulled back and sat up straighter, crossing her legs so that she could look at James as she talked. He looked strained, his eyes hard and the skin around them tight. His jaw was clenched and she noticed that his metal fingers had curled into a fist. Whatever he wasn't telling her, it was bothering him. "It has to be cold. It would be like sleeping in a fucking free-"

Nova cut herself off, thoughts stuttering to a halt.

It would be like sleeping in a freezer.

God, she was so stupid! She mentally slapped herself, setting her own jaw to stop an outpour of words that would no doubt make James incredibly uncomfortable. If people paid attention, James wasn't that hard to read. He chose things he was comfortable with. Sleeping in the tub probably felt like sleeping in a cryo chamber. Well, besides the blankets. He definitely didn't skimp out on the blankets. But the rest, the cold porcelain, the slight smell of metal and water, it had to remind him of the cryo chambers. And he felt more comfortable sleeping in that than a bed because the bed would be soft, forgiving, comfortable, everything that he wasn't used to.

"What?" James asked, immediately sounding more alert. Nova blinked her eyes open, nibbling on her bottom lip. What did she say?

"Nothing," Nova lied, dropping her eyes so she didn't have to look at him while she said it. Playing with her fingers and praying he didn't read too much into it, she held her breath.

"You figured it out," James stated slowly, sounding a little astounded.

"We don't have to talk about it," she informed him, keeping her eyes on her hands.

"You talk about everything," James reminded her, as if she didn't know that. Nova's lips quirked a little at the blatant disbelief in his tone, happy that he found some humor in their situation. It was only fair that someone did. "The bed… it isn't comfortable."

"Does Steve know about this?" Nova asked, waving a hand in the air to encompass the bathroom and bedroom into one. James sighed deeply, running his human hand over his face.

"Yes. He was more focused on other problems though so he hasn't said anything," the man before her shrugged a little and it was Nova's turn to sigh. How did they expect him to live a semi-normal life if there was no one hanging around to notice that he was having trouble? It wasn't that she blamed Steve, per se. Steve had his own life. As weird as it was to say, Steve had a life outside of James. He'd gone through a lot since finding James and Nova knew it would kill him to find out that James was still suffering when he wasn't around to help.

It was a good thing Nova wasn't going anywhere. Well, she was, but she was taking James with her, so it didn't count.

"I'm going to say something," Nova announced, narrowing her eyes when James scoffed, rolling his eyes like it wasn't the least bit surprising. The man had gotten far too cocky after she kissed him. This was the most he'd talked to her since they'd met. Of course, that could have something to do with him being half asleep… "I'm not trying to say how you should live your life or anything, it's not really any of my business, but someone's got to tell you at some point."

"Tell me?"

"Shush. I'm on a roll," Nova waved off his interruption, refocusing on her thoughts. "You're not the only one to go through this."

She paused to make sure James was listening, gratified when he shot her a slightly skeptical look. Nova pointedly stared right at the jets that were positioned on either side of where he was sitting, reminding him of just where they were.

"This, this is something I haven't seen before, actually. I've been around for the night terrors, the cold sweats, the screaming, and some memory loss. But I've never really seen someone sleep in the bathtub. This is a new one. But you're not the only one that can't sleep in his bed at night. My brother, Jas, sleeps on the floor next to his bed. He's got a sniper rifle, a handgun, and a hunting knife taped to the underside. Maggie ends up sleeping in the rocking chair in her daughter's room most nights because she's afraid to leave her alone. She's afraid of what can happen if she's not in the room with her," Nova explained, curling up a little tighter as she remembered how she hadn't been allowed to go wake her siblings up.

She'd been little when it started. Alex was twelve years older than her and he was the first to enlist with SHIELD Special Service. After the mission in France, he hadn't been the same. He'd wake the entire house up screaming in the middle of the night and Nova was never allowed to go in and see him. One of her first memories was jumping onto Alex's bed at the ass crack of dawn, bouncing on him to get him up. It was the only memory she had of doing that. After he started having nightmares, she hadn't been allowed into his room.

Nova understood now. Her brother had PTSD, if he was startled awake, he might hurt her. She'd been really small and unable to fight back. And, if he had hurt her, he would have never been able to forgive himself.

"My point is, you don't have to go through all of this alone. If you don't want to talk to me about it, I'm sure Evie would be happy to tell you all about her experiences after coming home from her first bout with HYDRA. Well, okay, not happy. But she would talk you through some of it. I think hers was the worst case I've come in direct contact with. When we first got her home, she didn't want to sleep at all. She was afraid she'd wake up and be back with HYDRA. When she was awake, it was fine if I sat on the bed with her, laid with her for a while. She was really sensitive about touch, but we got through it slowly. But, if she woke up after a while to find someone near her, she would freak out," Nova informed him, reaching up to brush her fingers gently along the bridge of her nose. "One morning, she woke up to find me sleeping next to her and she elbowed me in the nose. Broke it, too. It was a good, solid hit."

"Evangeline broke your nose?" James asked, sounding slightly horrified.

"Oh, trust me, she didn't do it on purpose. She still apologizes about it. If you don't want to talk to Evie, you could try Natasha or Clint. Natasha's probably your best bet. She's been through the same sort of brainwashing and training. I'm sure she'd try to help in any way she can. If you talk to Clint, though, be a bit delicate about it," Nova warned, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"Barton? Why?" James demanded. Obviously, no one had told him about the Battle of New York.

"He has some bad experience with brainwashing. There was an alien god and he had this blue scepter of death and he wanted to make the humans his minions… Anyway, he's getting through it and you might find that talking to him is a little more comforting," Nova shrugged. Clint wasn't one of her best friends, but she got along with him better than she got along with Natasha. Mostly because she helped design his arrows. He couldn't hate someone who put a quiver together for him.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Nova repeated, unsure just what James was asking. He was staring at her like she was a puzzle he wanted to solve, eyes narrowed slightly and head tilted to the side.

"Do you have PTSD?" James clarified.

"Me? No, I've never been diagnosed. I've also never been frontline in a warzone, so that probably helps. The most I've been diagnosed with mentally speaking was a disorder called ADHD, which stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Basically, my mind works very fast and so do I. It was a miracle I made it through school as fast as I did, usually ADHD makes it harder for kids to sit through classes. But my mama had me homeschool when she figured out that I was flying through classes. Hello GED, goodbye high school," Nova hummed, shrugging a little. Her personal experience with PTSD was all second hand, but she could recognize it in the haunted corners of his eyes.

"That clears a lot of things up," James informed her, jaw clenching a little in what Nova realized almost immediately was him fighting down a smile.

"Oh whatever," Nova threw back, pushing herself forward to collapse into the blankets. James moved and suddenly a soft blanket was thrown over her body, covering her from chin to toes.

"Will you sleep now?" James asked, shifting into a more comfortable position. Nova sighed, letting out all the tension and sinking into the blankets. Honestly, the tub made a good bed. Maybe Pepper, who personally designed all of the Avengers' floors, knew something that the rest of them didn't. Letting her eyes fall closed, Nova started drifting as she tried to find an answer for James.

"Shh…" she complained, squirming one hand out from under the warm, soft blanket and finding his arm. Brushing her fingers along the cool metal that met her, she dropped into sleep.


	20. Redecoration

**Song: Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Pentatonix**

 **Sorry for the lateness, homework had to come first this time around. I'll do my best to post at least once a week, thank you so much for reading! If anyone wants to help make a cover, I'll love you forever!**

James sighed as he finished his cool down stretches, the sore muscles in his arm and thighs protesting. Next to him, Clint Barton groaned, splayed out on the ground and obviously not impressed with their sparring practice. Some blood from his various wounds stained his blue tee shirt, but James had made sure not to hit him anywhere near his face. Barton had still lost with the handicap, but neither would mention it again. Sparring wasn't supposed to be a win/lose event, it was about getting better and keeping practiced.

"So, Nova, huh?" Barton started. James shot him a dirty look, not wanting to talk about whatever it was that Barton was about to bring up. There was no way either Barton or Natalia could know that he'd left Nova in his apartment that morning. She'd still been asleep when he'd gotten up and hadn't even stirred as he carefully climbed out of the tub. He'd had to gently disentangle her from where she'd curled around his left side, his metal arm thrown backwards over her waist while she'd had her face pressed into the panels on his shoulder and her arms wrapped around his bicep, one of her legs thrown over both of his.

As soon as he'd woken up, James had gotten her detangled and set her on her side, horrified by the thought that he could have hurt her. Sleeping next to her wasn't supposed to be something he did. His arm was dangerous enough when he was awake; he didn't need to tempt fate while he was sleeping.

"I'm not saying anything. Just that you two get along pretty well. And, you know, I've never seen her willingly spar with someone before. Something about dying before she'd go back into a gym," Barton shrugged, rolling his head so he could look at James. James glared at him, hating that he thought they were close enough to talk about girls.

"Nova is persistent," James informed him in a blank tone of voice, not mentioning that he was the one who usually tracked her down. Admitting that weakness wouldn't win him any friends and he didn't want to fight Barton over his fascination with the doctor who was probably still sleeping in his bathtub. For some reason, the thought of her alone in his apartment didn't actually bother him.

"Damn straight. Girl was practically raised by the one and only Tony Stark; you think she ever learned to take no for an answer?" Barton laughed, shaking his head as he pushed to sit upright. James wasn't particularly impressed with what Barton was insinuating. Nova had shown compassion more often than almost any of the Avengers. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing. You think she would have gotten so many degrees if she had taken no for an answer? It takes a strong person to work her way up like she's done. Sure, connections help, but I never saw Nova blatantly use her connection to Stark for anything until after SHIELD fell. And that was only to get a job."

"How long have you known her?" James demanded, suddenly curious. Barton talked about Nova like she was an old friend, someone he'd known intimately for a while. Something strange stirred in his chest, aching as he thought about Barton and Nova together. He'd seen them talk, knew they were friendly, but he didn't like the idea of it being any more than that. Not in any way. And not just because he knew how ridiculous Barton could be when he got it into his mind.

"Don't get the wrong idea, dude. I trained with her sister, Maggie, for a bit. She's the best damn fighter SHIELD had seen in years. You know, until Tasha showed up and burned through all her records. Maggie talked about Nova a lot. I didn't meet her until the Avengers Initiative, but her sister talked about her all the time," Barton shrugged off the memories as if they didn't mean much. James knew that it was all a clever guise. Barton wouldn't have mentioned it at all if it didn't mean something to him. It was something that James actually appreciated about the other man. "It felt like I knew Nova before I met her. It's easy to trust someone when you know almost everything about them already."

"What are you trying to say?" James asked, knowing that there was some sort of hidden message in Barton's words but not wanting to put the effort into finding it. Barton was never good at beating around the bush. For someone who could have a whole conversation with a person and reveal absolutely nothing, he was shit at keeping his intentions hidden.

"I'm saying that I trust her. Weren't you listening?" Barton snapped. For a moment, James could see Barton and Nova being the best of friends. They were enough alike to get along and different enough not to get bored. It would be a nightmare if they ever got closer than they currently were. At least, James could see it being a nightmare.

"That doesn't explain anything," James informed him, pushing to his feet. Barton followed him all the way into the elevator, swiping a water bottle that definitely wasn't his off of a nearby bench. There were a few ex-SHIELD agents working out in the gymnasium but James wasn't sure which one Barton was stealing from or even if the man himself knew.

"Yeah, it does. Nova's a good kid. I'm just saying that trusting her isn't going to kill you or anything. And, really, she means well almost all the time. Just don't steal her Dum Dums and you'll be fine," Barton shrugged as the elevator started moving. He took a long drink of his stolen water, sighing in satisfaction as soon as he was done. James wondered if the other man got more satisfaction out of stealing it than the actual drinking of the water, but kept the thought to himself.

"Why would I…" James trailed off as the elevator doors opened and his apartment came into view.

Well, it was supposed to be his apartment.

"Holy shit, man, did the local Wal-Mart spew its guts all over your apartment or what?" Barton spoke first, recovering from the shock in a short amount of time. He was stepping out of the elevator to observe the mess while James very slowly stalked after him, horrified by the various Christmas decorations that covered his apartment from top to bottom.

The previously empty kitchen had magnets in the shape of trees and jingle bells stuck all over every available appliance. Red and green were thrown through the door handle and the oven handles generously, completely replacing the boring black ones. Twinkling lights roped around the top of his kitchen cabinets and little trinkets adorned the open shelves, filling up all the empty spaces.

The living room was a mess of chaos with boxes strewn everywhere and tinsel covering all available surfaces. His weapons were all in their assigned spots, but there was now lights looped through them and tinsel thrown over various pieces, the TV outlined in small lights. Barton kept walking, cheerful holiday music getting louder as they both walked into his bedroom. James held his breath, almost afraid to see what had happened in there. It looked like a Christmas store had exploded in his apartment and he'd only seen this sort of chaos in one place before.

There, right in the middle of the gigantic bed he never slept in, was Nova. She'd replaced his dark red comforter, the comforter that reminded him of all the blood he'd spilled, with a quilt that looked almost like it was homemade. It just missed being wide enough, the edge of the blanket lining up with the edge of the bed. The pillows he'd never bothered to use were piled on the floor and a bunch of pillows in different shapes and sizes were piled near the headboard of his bed. The bedside tables were topped with books that he'd never read and Nova looked to be stringing blue tinsel around a tree about half her size and twice as wide.

She had it set on the bed in front of her, balanced precariously as she fiddled with the branches and stuffed the tinsel in any spare holes. James stared for a moment, trying to come up with some sort of explanation. Nova had admitted to loving Christmas and warned him that she decorated ridiculously, but he hadn't expected… this.

"Fuck, Nova Scotia, I should have had you come decorate my apartment building. All I did was put up a few lights," Barton announced their presence, sauntering forward and easily catching the tree when Nova jumped a good foot, dislodging her work and staring at them with wide, slightly out of focus eyes.

"You're home!" she squeaked, sounding almost afraid. James's lips tilted into a small frown, his head cocking to the side. Obviously, she hadn't been expecting them. Then again, she wouldn't have expected Barton. But this was James's apartment and he spent a lot of time in it, even if it didn't look like it.

"What are you doing?" James asked slowly, taking a few steps forward as Barton lifted the tree effortlessly off the bed and set it on the floor. A grin seemed to be permanently etched onto his lips as he glanced between the two of them, biting his tongue to keep from blurting something out. James decided not to reach out and hit the man when he was trying so hard to keep quiet, figuring that it was a blessing he had lasted so long without some sort of comment on the ridiculous décor that now took up James' apartment.

"Well, I had a few extra boxes of decorations and you didn't have any up. So I figured I'd decorate as a surprise. It's not like it'll last long; we leave for Christmas in a week and I just thought maybe you'd like to have some holiday cheer. Besides, I fixed your bed a bit. It's at least a bit firmer now. The blanket is one that Grandma Angie made for me and I have like three so I thought maybe you'd like one. And the pillows are from my personal collection, so don't mind the shampoo smell," Nova started, talking quickly as she sat back against his bed, in a backdrop of a quilt that she hadn't needed to give him and pillows she'd picked out of her own collection. It was the most heartfelt gift he'd gotten since he'd been brought to the Tower and he fought back a stupid grin, knowing it would only freak her out more. Still, his lips quirked up at the corners even as Nova kept talking, as if in some sort of slight panic. "I know I'm probably not supposed to be up here, but I have access to almost every floor so FRIDAY didn't bother to try and keep me out. Plus you kind of invited me up once and I'm like a vampire. If I'm invited once I can keep coming back. I really was just going to decorate and leave, but I think I got a little carried away…"

"I think you two can figure this out on your own. Be warned, though, if a hair on her head is harmed when I see her next, I'm not the only one you'll have to fight," Barton pointed at James, who considered breaking the finger to make a point. Barton wouldn't win in a fight against him, but he might if he had enough backup. Natalia was particularly dangerous— they'd been trained by the same people. She knew his moves. The last time they'd fought, she'd been more concerned with civilian casualties. If they fought in the Tower, there would be no such constraint.

However, one look at the bruising on Barton's face reminded him of why he hadn't thrown the other man into the mats as violently today. So he held in the urge, simply raising one eyebrow in response. If he did hurt Nova, he preferred they come after him.

"Did you get your Christmas invite, Clint?" Nova spoke up and James tensed a little at the sound of Barton's first name falling from her lips. The idea of breaking him sounded a little more appealing, suddenly.

"I already RSVP'd. Excited to meet Maggie's kid. Let Mama Mags know Tasha and I are bringing dessert," Barton waved over his shoulder, disappearing into the living room again. The distant sound of laughter met James' ears as the man made his way out, but James refocused on Nova. He could get Barton back later.

"I really am sorry, I didn't plan to make it so over the top, it just sort of… happened," Nova swore, wide eyes on his face. James contemplated this, glancing back around his bedroom.

Aside from the tree, the blanket, and the pillows, she hadn't touched much. There was a new picture hanging on the wall of a serene lakeside and there were a few sweaters stacked against the wall by his bathroom, but it didn't look like she had actually gone in and touched anything inside the bathroom. Something about that brought a tightness to his chest as he realized she thought of _that_ as his private space, the space she shouldn't touch. Unlike everyone else, she realized that the bathroom was more important than his bedroom in the grand scheme of things.

Reaching out carefully, James offered her his right hand, watching as the frown on her lips grew more pronounced with each second he didn't speak to her. There was no hesitation as she accepted his proffered hand and he helped her off the bed, staring down at the quilt. He almost broke into laughter when he realized there was a large star right in the middle. It was made of different colored material, patched together lighter than the rest in various shades of white. Outside the star was a ring of blue and then red. It was a quilt version of Steve's shield and Nova had been perched at the center of the star when he'd walked in, obscuring his view.

"I know it's kind of an old joke thing from Tony, but I thought maybe you'd like to have something that would remind you of Steve. He makes you feel safe, right? I could have brought out the exact replica of his shield, all quilted together, but that seemed a little excessive. Plus, I'm not really ready to give that one up yet. It still kind of smells like Grandma Angie," Nova explained quickly, rolling onto her toes and tucking her fingers together. James hadn't let her go yet, so she worried his fingers, picking at them and moving them as she saw fit. James didn't fight it, still too stunned to do much except glance down at her.

"Grandma Angie?" James finally forced out, sounding more like a statement than the question he was really asking.

"Yeah, my grandma. She was best friends with Peggy Carter back in the day. That's how Grandpa Dugan met her. He always says it was love at first sight but Grandma Angie told the real story. One day, Grandpa Dugan went to see Peggy after getting back from Europe. She was staying at one of the Stark Mansions and Grandma Angie was her roommate. Tony's dad let them live there for free because they were all really good friends. So, Grandpa Dugan shows up and he's walking in because he thinks that Peggy lives there on her own. And Grandma Angie walks down the stairs to see who they have for a visitor," Nova explained, a smiling lighting up her features temporarily. It was the sad kind of smile Steve sometimes gave him when something was different about him than the man Steve remembered.

The last time he'd gotten that look was when he'd eaten almost an entire pound of a pasta that Evangeline had made. Apparently, Bucky didn't like mushrooms anywhere near his food. James, however, didn't even notice the difference. It was the look of someone who had lost something and missed it terribly. It gave James a new depth to Nova's grandmother stories as he realized that Grandma Angie, while obviously being important to her, wasn't mentioned in any of her family anecdotes.

"And, bam, Grandpa Dugan sees her, walks right into a wall. She claims all she did was smile at him while Grandpa Dugan claims she was making eyes. I think Grandpa Dugan fell in love with her at first sight and just had to wait a bit while Grandma Angie caught up," Nova finished her story, softly smiling down at the comforter she'd put over his bed. One hand left his and he watched her trail a finger over the material, a wistful look on her face.

"You didn't have to put it here," James reminded her, suddenly wanting her to take it back. It wasn't like he was worth it anyway. He never slept in his bed, what did she think an old quilt that meant something to her would do for him?

"No, I didn't," Nova agreed immediately, turning those liquid chocolate eyes up at him and meeting his gaze firmly. "But they were your family too. You might not have met Grandma Angie, but she knew all about you. She died a couple months before Steve woke up from the ice, but I'm sure she would have welcomed both of you home with open arms. If she was here now, you'd already be receiving things from her. Quilts, knit sweaters, hats, gloves, Grandma Angie was the craftiest of all of us. So, I'm just kind of passing along the message."

James's chest filled with a warm bubble, heat spreading through his limbs as he looked between Nova and the mess she'd made of his house. Before he made a conscious choice, James' hand tightened on Nova's and he pulled her to him easily. She gave no resistance, like she couldn't imagine him hurting her. It was a misplaced belief, but he could clear that all up later.

Right now, he needed…

His mind stuttered and halted as he deftly cupped the back of Nova's neck with his human hand. Easily tilting her head back, James dipped his head down, pressing his own firm, hard lips against her soft, slightly chapped mouth. His tongue immediately brushed against her bottom lip, asking for entrance, and Nova opened up to him, one small fist gripping the front of his shirt.

Dropping his shoulders, James wrapped his metal arm around Nova's waist, picking her up gently and setting her back on the bed. It was almost at her waist level and he laid her out on it, his lips still attached to hers. She hummed in appreciation, teeth snagging his bottom lip as she bit down just enough to warn him before she was busy sliding her tongue over the exact same spot. James' human hand threaded through her hair, tilting her head to accommodate his ministrations.

"So does this mean you're not mad?" Nova's voice broke through the haze of his mind and James pushed up to see her face, warm cheeks flushed pink. The same flush ran down her chest and seemed to dip between her breasts, sliding toward her navel. James wanted to follow that trail with his tongue so badly that it physically hurt him to look away. The metal plates in his arm whirred and groaned, shrieking a little when he threw his arm in a quick rotation, fixing the jam.

"Should I be mad?" James asked, raising an eyebrow down at her.

"I broke into your home, defaced your apartment, changed all the spice labels in your kitchen to 'holiday cheer', and I just kissed you again. Which I wasn't supposed to do," Nova explained quickly.

"Changed the spice names?" James asked, then immediately decided he didn't want to know. "I let you into my apartment. Or did you forget that?"

"For some reason I doubt this was what you had in mind when you dragged me out of my lab at four o'clock in the morning," Nova answered blandly, eyes falling down to her hands as she started nibbling on her bottom lip. If she kept up that sort of rapid pace, she wasn't going to have a lip to worry about. Which was kind of sad because James definitely liked her lips.

"If I thought you would hurt something I wouldn't have left you alone," James answered calmly, shrugging his shoulder when she shot him an incredulous look.

"Most people would be pissed. Especially about the kissing thing. Though, I thought that was rather enjoyable, even if we weren't supposed to kiss again," Nova trailed off as she thought that through and James shook his head.

"I don't see how you defaced the apartment anyway. It was a… gesture…" James offered, trailing off. It was the most thoughtful gesture he'd ever seen, but he couldn't quite get the words out of his mouth. Explaining it to her was more difficult than he'd anticipated and he kind of wished there was someone around who knew what to say.

"It's okay if you hate it. I can take it all down if you want. I just thought maybe it would be nice to have some decorations of your own, you know. Especially since Steve and Evie aren't here this year, I thought you might like to be around some holiday cheer. If not, I'm as good at taking things down as I am at putting them up," Nova announced, a very obvious lie. She couldn't even look at him when she said that part, but she did send him a hopeful look immediately after, trying to keep him from any bouts of anger.

Laying on her back in the middle of the bed, or what was supposed to be his bed, was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever met. And she thought he was mad at her. Something about the equation wasn't right and James shook his head quickly.

"Leave it. Leave it all," he told her, leaning down and pressing his lips against her shoulder. Nova sucked in a surprised breath, a small moan echoing out of her mouth when he sucked just a little bit of skin into his mouth and licked it. One of Nova's hands came up to grab his arm and James hid a smirk in her shoulder when she got the metal arm and her fingers slid harmlessly away.

"If you thank me like this every time, I'm so redecorating your apartment whenever I'm up here," Nova teased, her fingers finding purchase in his back. James's hips jerked when Nova dug her fingernails in, the smug smirk on her lips letting him know that showing her weakness in anyway was going to be dangerous.

"Redecorate as many times as you want. I'm not complaining," James reminded her, his mouth finding its way back to hers in a searing kiss.


	21. Speak Now

**Song: I believe by Christina Perri**

 **Hey! I'm actually on time this time! By, like, three minutes! Thanks for all the awesome reviews, I hope you're all enjoying the story! Let me know what you think!**

"But why are you so suddenly accepting of this sort of thing?" Nova complained, trailing James throughout his apartment with a ridiculous Christmas sweater caught in her hands. She'd gone through some of her old Christmas wear and had found some sweaters that she thought James would fit into. Technically, if anyone asked, they were her sweaters. If anyone saw the inside collars, though, the sweaters boasted the names of Alex and Jas, brothers she loved so much. Alex was probably the best bet for a comfortable fit for James, but Jas' were sometimes too big for him and could conceivably fit the man in front of her as well. Nova figured that James could try them on and decide what he liked. Instead, he had pulled one on with snowflakes across the front and decided that he didn't want to try on anything else.

"Do you want it back?" James stopped walking and turned to face her, almost forcing her to face plant into his chest. Nova scowled at him for deliberately fucking with her, already knowing the rest of the day would be difficult now that he had decided to ignore her larger questions. When his hands went to the hem of the sweater he was wearing, Nova rolled her eyes, waving a hand at him to stop.

"No, I didn't say that. I said I want to know why you're so accepting of Christmas and sweaters and parties now when you looked absolutely horrified when I mentioned Christmas as a whole," Nova informed him, scowling at the floor. The mood James was in, she wasn't about to get much more out of him. He'd kissed her and Nova thought they should talk about the fact that they were totally not going to be those people who fall into bed with one another because it's easy only to regret it ridiculously later. She didn't want to regret anything anymore. But the real thought that hurt Nova the most was that he was ignoring it. Like neither kiss had ever happened. He preferred to leave it in the shadows and it hurt more than Nova was willing to admit.

"The sweater is comfortable," James informed her in his best impression of an AI. Nova closed her eyes and counted to ten, breathing slowly.

This wasn't going well. James was being a legit pain in the ass and she got the impression he was doing it on purpose. Which was so annoying. She was supposed to be the pain in the ass in this relationship. The question was: why was he being a pain in the ass? Then again, this was the same man who had tried to pick up the mini arc reactor she'd been experimenting with when it was very clearly glowing a completely unhealthy shade of green. It was possible he didn't even mean to drive her up a wall. Maybe he was more like Steve than anyone in the history books had guessed.

Very clearly, the computer pinged, letting them know someone was trying to talk to James. Their eyes met for a moment and Nova got a terrible, oh-so-evil idea.

"No!" James yelped, jerking to attention. It was too late; Nova had already dodged the hand that was jumping up to grab her (his right hand, he was just so predictable) and was bolting toward the Stark Pad that was set up on the desk in his living room, which was also completely decorated. Two snow globes on either side of the Stark Pad sat at attention and there was a little jar of candy canes near the back.

Nova made grabby hands for the Stark Pad, managing to swipe to answer Steve's call just as James caught up to her. He grabbed her around the waist, hands deceptively gentle as he yanked her right off her feet, swinging her away from the Stark Pad quickly. It was already too late and James froze, holding Nova about a foot off the ground with her back pressed into his hard chest.

"Should I call back later?" Evie's voice asked over the speakers. Nova flicked her head around, blinking at Evie through the loose strands of her hair that James had managed to knock out of her hasty bun. Evie was dressed to go somewhere, long curls straightened and twisted into a delicate bun. She was wearing a black dress that hugged in all the right places, a deep purple shawl thrown over her shoulders. It looked dark wherever they were, but Nova didn't think too much on it. If it kept Evie safer, she preferred not to know where they were.

"No, it's fine. I'm just fucking with James. What's up? You got a hot date? Finally dumped the Cap, huh?" Nova teased, grinning at her best friend. Evie cracked a smile, trying desperately to suppress it because she knew she shouldn't laugh at a joke about dumping the Captain just like Nova knew she shouldn't make jokes like that. James set Nova down on her feet easily and turned her so she could get the full effect of his disappointed look. "Okay, jeez, sorry. Cap's pretty cool when he's not, you know, stealing my best friend and everything."

"He didn't steal her," James protested, hands ending up on his hips as soon as he let her go. Nova glared up at him, ready for this fight. No matter what anyone told her, Steve Rogers had stolen her best friend. Evie would never have left the Tower if he hadn't asked her to. It was selfish and bitchy and more than a little childish, but Nova _missed_ Evie. It wasn't the late night talks, the free ice cream, or Evie cleaning up the apartment when Nova was on a science binge. It was just… her presence. Even just her things in the apartment would have made it easier. But Evie had Steve now and they had a good thing going, no matter how Nova felt about it. And she really didn't want to ruin a good thing, even if it did make her want to gag sometimes.

"Wow, I've never seen the Sergeant look so much like a disappointed parent," Evie informed them absently, pulling James and Nova's attention back to where their friend was leaning against whatever desk she was using as a platform, wide golden eyes staring at them expectantly. "Oh, don't mind me. Keep going. I want to see where this goes."

"I'm not arguing with James. He knows I'm right, even if he won't admit it. Now, what's up?" Nova waved off James's annoyed look and dropped into the desk chair. James pouted behind her, jaw jutted out and everything. If she didn't know it was dangerous, she would start calling him the Winter Pout instead of the Winter Soldier. Maybe she could convince Evie to do it next time they talked without James around.

"Actually, I've been trying to reach you. I got ahold of Tony and he told me to try James," Evie informed her, turning off her teasing best friend mode and turning on serious business mode. Nova straightened up in her seat, ready for orders.

"What do you need?" Nova immediately replied, not thinking twice. She felt heat against her back and knew James had leaned over right before his right hand planted itself on the desk, his other hand propping him up on the back of her chair so that he could see the tablet and Evie could see him too.

"It's not about what I need. I just got some information from Maria that you need to look at. She's been trying to get ahold of you too," Evie explained. A chill ran up Nova's spine. If Maria was reaching out, something bad was on the horizon. Or already happened and they wanted to be the ones who told her about it. Her chest constricted with the thought, mind racing. Her entire family should have been safely tucked away in the Dugan house. The only one who would be stupid enough to go out without another person would be Jas. If something happened to him…

A heavy weight settled on her shoulder and Nova's head tilted up, eyes catching James'. He gently squeezed, the pressure almost nonexistent as he met her eye. The cool feel of the metal seeped through the thin purple sweater Nova had thrown on after digging through all of her clothes to find that ninety five percent of them were dirty. Instead, she'd thrown on a pair of leggings that had seen better days and a sweater that dwarfed her, intent on being comfortable if not in her regular choice of clothing.

The stab of horror she'd felt on thinking of her family being hurt brushed back as she stared at him, her mind starting to work. If one of her family was hurt, Evie would be just as upset, not looking like she was going on a date. There wouldn't be any long distance phone calls. Evie would have come home to tell her.

"What's wrong?" Nova forced out, turning her eyes back to Evie. Evie's own golden eyes were stuck on where James was touching her, a calculating look taking over her face. Nova had seen that look more than she cared to admit and she knew that Evie was planning… something. Whatever it was, it was probably going to end in an explosion or Cap jumping out of an airplane without a parachute.

"There's been chatter along the HYDRA lines about someone trying to find the Dugan compound," Evie started. Nova's body sagged a little in relief as she realized her family hadn't been compromised yet. Whoever it was wouldn't find the compound. There was just no way. Very few people alive knew where the compound was and no one would be followed there. "I'm sending you the links to the data; I was hoping you could go through it and see if you recognize any names. Tony is already mapping out the danger areas— he'll send you an updated drive schedule. I sent the same information to everyone at home. Mama Mags already replied that she's looking into fortifying the external defenses. They'll need your help on the mines and the outer defense when you get there."

"Mines?" James asked, his deep voice incredulous.

"We're leaving a week from today. I can start drawing up plans in the meantime. Have you-" Nova reached out blindly for the tablet that usually was set up on her left, growling when her fingers didn't meet the expected smooth expanse. "I'm going to have to run it from here right now. So you might not be able to see us, but we're here. Have you sent the files?"

"They're in your inbox. Ignore the first fifteen I sent. They're all the same. The next few I sent have the extended map, the agreed upon route from NYC, as well as a few other various routes you could take back to the compound to ensure your safety and the safety of the compound. Make sure to take a go bag just in case and change vehicles at the depot whenever you get a chance," Evie ordered, slipping earrings into her ears. They were sparkling and dangled, a nice compliment to her outfit. The middle stone was amethyst, perfectly rounded and ringed in diamonds.

"So that's where my earrings went," Nova started, fingers flying over the keyboard. James was still hovering protectively, as if he thought something dangerous was going to pop out of the computer. Weirder shit had happened, so she didn't shrug him off. Besides, he seemed more comfortable when he knew what was going on. In the lab, in her apartment, in her mind. He was a lot more confident once he understood a situation.

"I'm pretty sure these originally belonged to Maggie. And I'm just borrowing them," Evie shrugged while Nova pulled up various documents. Reaching up to try and find her glasses, Nova patted at the top of her head, sure she had a pair up there. Before she could get too upset and start digging around, her pair of blue glasses dropped into her lap. Grabbing them up, Nova glanced backwards at James, knowing it was him who gave them to her.

"Work," he demanded, pointing toward the screen. Nova hummed and focused, actually able to see individual words instead of the vague blur she couldn't make out before.

Just as she started to flip through the second report, warmth surrounded her. Nova froze, glancing over her shoulder to see that James was balancing on the arm of the chair she was sitting in, one arm around her back and the other reaching out to secure the top of her screen. Evie's eyes followed his movements too, her nose wrinkling up like a baby bunny as she thought that over. Nova wasn't even sure she wanted to know what Evie came up with.

"Is there a reason these aren't in chronological order?" Nova asked, frowning tightly as she pulled up a report from October. "And why didn't anyone warn us about this sooner? I still worked for SHIELD— they should have at least warned me or Mama. I mean, I know she wasn't an active agent, but we've been a safe house for enough agents that she should have been informed."

"Maria put the file together. I didn't have time to go through it before I sent it out. How bad is the damage? Do you need me to stay in tonight and work through it? All we had planned was dinner and some sightseeing; I can put a hold on that if you need me," Evie offered, hands already reaching toward her Stark Pad. Nova tensed, clenching her jaw and reminding herself that Evie was her best friend. And she wanted her best friend to be happy.

"Don't you dare touch that!" Nova snapped, putting on her best 'no nonsense' glare. Evie froze because Nova rarely ordered her not to touch anything when they were outside her lab. Even in the lab, Evie was smart enough to know what not to touch. And if she couldn't figure out what an object was, she stayed away from it. "You have plans with a certain Captain of all things spangly. The house is safe right now and that's all that matters. If they've been looking since- holy shit, is this one dated May of last year?- they won't find it in the next few hours. Go out, have fun, kiss under some amazing historical sight. And then take a picture so I can see. After you're done kissing, I mean. I don't want to have a picture of you two kissing. I'm not into that. But James might be interested, I mean, I don't know what he's-"

A hand planted itself over her mouth, warm and rough against her lips. Nova didn't even think, tongue darting out to touch his palm. The salty taste of sweat met her taste buds along with a taste she was pretty sure was just James. James yanked back like she'd burned him, staring at her in horrified disbelief.

"Did you just lick me?" he snapped, voice gone dangerously low as he attempted to glare down at her like she'd just committed some grievous offense. Nova snorted, biting her lip to hold back her laughter so that he wouldn't get too upset and accidently kill her. Honestly, as a scary ass assassin, she'd kind of expected him to ignore her or hit her or something. He was used to blood and guts and horror but didn't want her saliva on his hand? He did know they'd been swapping spit in his bedroom like ten minutes ago, right?

"Nova…" the warning voice over the computer was far too deep to be Evie and Nova forced her attention back on her work. Steve had appeared in the screen of the Stark Pad. Nova had their conversation minimized to the corner of the screen and could just barely make out Evie and Steve as she opened yet another file.

"What? He started it!" Nova complained, clapping a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles as Steve's eyes damn near popped out of his head. Okay, she hadn't meant James had licked her first, but it was kind of funny that Steve took it that way. And looked so horrified by the idea.

As if to prove a point, James flicked a hand over the screen, pulling them back into the conversation. Nova glanced over her shoulder at him, wondering what he was going to do. She knew it was something. Steve and James were kind of little shits whenever they were together in a good mood. Despite the Christmas decorations and Nova's complete obliteration of his privacy, James seemed to be in a good mood.

Still, Nova about jumped a foot when James grabbed her hand, lifted it to his mouth, and licked a streak across her pulse point, pointedly staring right at Steve as he worked. His warm, wet tongue ran the width of her wrist, his face completely blank in a carefully schooled expression. Steve turned an odd shade of purple at the sight and Nova lost the fight with her laughter, not bothered by the spit that covered her wrist now. As a mechanic and an aunt, she'd been covered in oil, gas, vomit, urine, and a host of other unnecessary and completely disgusting things. James's spit was about the least offensive she could think of.

"Bucky, what the f-" Steve blurted, two small hands jumping up to cover his mouth. Evie had interceded, shooting her boyfriend a dirty look.

"Oh my god, was Captain America going to swear at us?" Nova squeaked, still laughing. James glanced down at her and then looked pointedly away, the corner of his mouth starting to quirk. "Steve, can you say the f word without bursting into tears? Are you sure America can handle hearing you swear? If you say 'goddamn it' will God really damn it?"

Steve caught both of Evie's hands in one of his, pressing a gentle kiss to her fingertips as he pulled her hands away from his mouth.

"Buck, can we talk? In private?" Steve asked, sending a pointed look Nova's way. Nova sobered, her laughter draining when she realized that Steve really wasn't happy. And he really wasn't joking. Instead of telling him just where to shove his opinion, Nova turned to look up at James, who was already watching her.

"Oh, don't worry, I can't stay anyway! I have to go back to the lab and get to work on the map and the time tables and the data, so it's probably best I go now. Then I can send it to Mama and the fam. Evie, love you, I'll see you next week sometime," Nova blurted it all out in one breath, fighting off the uncomfortable feeling of not being liked by Captain America.

She knew Steve didn't hate her. They'd taken care of Evie together and she'd helped to make sure he got some sleep and a shower every now and then. It hadn't just been looking out for Evie, it had been looking out for each other too. But Nova knew she came off way too strong sometimes. After hearing her talk the first couple times, people tended to disappear from her life pretty quickly. She'd been better about it, before. Talking was something Nova did all the time as a kid. But other girls were mean and Nova was a really smart little kid. So it was inevitable that someone forced her to keep her mouth shut. It was after that that her mama had decided to homeschool her. One too many bruises to show for the way her mouth always shot off without her.

Anxiety shot through Nova at the thought and she practically catapulted out of her seat, throwing the chair back. Thankfully, James caught it, setting it right without bothering to look away from her. His dark blue eyes took in her movements, cataloging her tells. She doubted that she could keep the light panic from him, but it wasn't like he would stop her. He knew better than anyone that sometimes people just need to be alone.

"Nova, are you alright?" Evie's concerned voice made it through the computer and Nova blinked hard, sucking her bottom lip into her mouth to bite it for a moment as she tried to think up what to do next. She knew that James could see her but didn't want to just bolt from the room. She had to at least convince Evie that she was fine. James would never believe her, but Evie would. She was too far away to see most of Nova's tells, especially since Nova was away from the screen at the moment.

"Course, Evie."


	22. His Mission

**Song: Monster by Imagine Dragons**

 **And we have Steve being an ass. I swear I love him, he's just too overprotective sometimes. It's okay, though. Hope everyone is having an awesome day and that you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks for all the love!**

James waited until the elevator doors closed behind Nova to turn back to the Stark Pad, glaring at his best friend. Evangeline had a tight frown on her lips and was staring at him, her nose wrinkled slightly as she thought. After a moment, she left, disappearing into wherever they were staying to give James and Steve some privacy. James thanked her silently because he didn't want her to witness the next few minutes.

"What the fuck?" James demanded, scowling at his best friend as rage curled in his gut. His shoulders tensed and James leaned over, planting his hands on the desk so he was hovering over the screen. It made him look bigger to Steve, enhancing the anger that was flooding his veins.

"Buck…" Steve trailed off when James shook his head violently, his hair flying in his face. Pressing harder against the wood of the desk, James dared Steve to speak, wanting nothing more than a _reason_. "What are you wearing?"

James wasn't expecting that. Glancing down, he realized why Steve was confused. Thrown straight over the tee shirt he'd worn to work out in was the sweater Nova had given him. She had more that she wanted him to try on, but this one was comfortable and it fit fairly well. A little too big, but that wasn't a problem. It was warm and smelled vaguely like wood smoke and cotton candy Dum Dums. It was a bright red with different sized snowflakes across the front in a perfect line. The material was fairly soft and it covered his metal arm well, something he was thankful for. Plus, the moment he'd accepted it from Nova, she'd lit up like her Christmas trees. Her smile had been brilliant and James wanted her to keep smiling like that. It was… different than her usual easy going smile, something proud and excited that hadn't been there before. He liked it.

"A Christmas sweater," James answered dubiously. The snowflakes kind of gave it away. James knew that Steve had seen Christmas sweaters before. There were even a few in his closet at the Tower that James had almost chosen to wear before reminding himself that they would make him stand out. He didn't want to stand out.

"I know, but why are you wearing it?" Steve asked, sounding completely stunned.

"Nova gave it to me," James snapped, glaring at his friend and just waiting for him to say the wrong words. Steve liked Nova most of the time. He had complained a couple of times about her non-stop talking, but besides that he claimed he couldn't pick a better friend for Evangeline. James wasn't sure what was bothering him about her now. But he knew that it pissed him off.

"She gave… Where did she even get your size?" Steve looked completely mind boggled and James waited while he figured out what was important to the conversation. "Never mind, doesn't matter. I'm assuming she's the one who did your apartment too?"

"Yes," James nodded slightly, glancing over his shoulder at the lights that covered his entire house now. She'd done an impressive job for only having a few hours to get everything ready. And he'd been sure she was asleep when he'd left. He hadn't woken her up under the assumption that she could use another few hours of sleep, but she obviously hadn't used that time to rest.

"Buck, I know Nova… interests you," Steve started, pausing as if he didn't know what word to use. Interested was as good a word as any, though the tone Steve used was slightly insulting. Like Nova was just a toy he'd gotten that was new and intriguing but he would tire of in a while, after he figured it out. Nova was a puzzle, yes: she was funny and unafraid of him. It was dangerous, but it sent an inappropriate thrill through him whenever he realized that she genuinely believed he wouldn't hurt her, no matter how many times she'd seen him lose his mind. She also tasted like candy and happiness, something he hadn't realized he'd like so much. "But she's not exactly careful. If she says or does the wrong thing…"

"Are you worried I'm going to hurt her or that she's going to hurt me?" James snapped, glaring at his friend. Steve wasn't subtle on the best of days. He meddled like hell and hated when things were out of his control. It probably bothered him on a personal level that James was friendly with Nova because he couldn't be there to run interference. Ever since James had come back, Steve had been watching him, deciding things for him, keeping him locked away when he wasn't on a mission. And James hadn't cared, before. It had been nice to have someone watching his back that actually cared about him. But it disturbed him on a deep level that Steve might be more worried about the effect Nova could have on James than about Nova's personal safety.

"I'm not saying she isn't a good person or anything. You know I like Nova; she's smart and she cares about people. But she could say something wrong or do something that upset you and I don't want you to experience guilt like that," Steve started, raising his hands in a placating gesture. James immediately scowled.

"I'd get it if you were afraid I'd hurt her. Or even if you were worried I'd kill her. I could understand if you told me to back off because it was dangerous to her. But you're telling me that I need to back off because it could hurt me?" James growled, the rage that had been tamped down before stirring again.

James wasn't worried about his own guilt if something happened to Nova. He had lived through worse. But he wouldn't let anyone put his life over hers. And Steve would. If he thought James would let him, Steve would. James couldn't let him do that. As contradictory as it was to his thoughts of when he first met Nova, James preferred that, if someone had to choose between them, they would choose Nova. If one of them got to live, it would be Nova. James wouldn't forgive someone for choosing him. After all the things he'd done, he didn't deserve to live if she died.

"I do worry about her. She's Evangeline's best friend, practically her sister. But you're my best friend. You're my brother. I will always worry about you more," Steve insisted, staring at him with clear blue eyes that matched the button down he had on. James snarled wordlessly, hating that idea. Sure, James worried about Steve. It was like second nature to him. There were memories from his time as Bucky that James could access that insisted that he take care of Steve. He put the other man first, always. But James didn't deserve that kind of care and compassion. Nova did.

"You shouldn't." James tightened his jaw and glared at the wall above the Stark Pad, his metal arm whirring and clunking as it tried to recalibrate. The process kept getting worse when no one bothered to fix it, but James ignored it as he did every time. Now wasn't the time to think about it. The sharp sting of pain was almost a relief from the intense curl of rage forming in his gut.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Steve immediately got angry, the righteous kind of anger he threw around when someone was bullying another person. James glanced down, eyes running over the familiar planes of his best friend's face as his jaw tightened and his fists clenched. "Nova isn't any more important than you are."

James reeled back, feeling like Steve had punched him.

Suddenly, it became far too real. Steve had left him. Steve left him alone in a Tower that was a glorified prison. Everything in the Tower was decided for him. He went to the gym, to the communal floors, and to Nova's lab. That was it. He'd been to Nova's apartment, but that didn't really count as being out in the world. Natalia and Barton were back, but they were people who would take him out in an instant if they thought he became too much trouble. Maybe they'd second guess it, maybe they wouldn't. But they would still take him out in an instant. Even Steve would feel the need to stop him.

Nova was the only one who had shown she didn't see his memories as weakness. But Steve wouldn't know that because he wasn't there. And Steve not being there was the reason James had happened across Nova in the first place. Suddenly, James understood the shift in Nova's happy exterior whenever she mentioned Evangeline. He understood the hurt that seemed to run below the surface. Whether they would admit it or not, they'd both been left here by people they cared about. James had been abandoned before, he knew he had, but it was still a sucker punch to the gut thinking of Steve walking away without bothering to look back.

"You don't get to say that," James growled, the Asset just below the surface, rearing his head. James fought the feeling, fought the rage that brought him up, but it was useless. The Asset was made to hurt people and James wanted to hurt Steve. He wanted to hit him, to make him bleed. He wanted to snarl out all of his anger and force Steve to accept the idea that circled James's mind.

The shift was so sudden and so painful that James doubled over, a pained groan leaving his lips as his mind blanked and he was suddenly someone else. Someone dangerous.

"Bucky? Buck, are you okay?" a voice broke through the haze of pain surrounding him and the Asset looked up, shaking off the discomfort rapidly. Weapons didn't feel pain. He was a weapon in its purest form. Staring blankly at the screen, he took in his ensemble. It was off. Too much color, too soft against his skin. But the mission required it. The target would accept the softness easier than his gear.

"I am not Bucky," the Asset informed the man on the screen. His face scraped at a raw memory, the memory of a mission gone wrong, but the Asset pushed it away. The memory didn't matter. Memories were useless in his line of work. The man wasn't a mission any longer and that was all that mattered. But the Asset needed to move. The current mission wasn't in sight and he had to find it. Talking to the man on the screen didn't matter. It was useless, serving no purpose.

"Bucky, listen to me, you need to come back. You're stronger than this. You just have to-"

The Asset pick up the small computer screen and threw it across the room, not pausing when it shattered on impact with the wall. Turning, he started toward the elevator, where he needed to be. Floors down, his mission was waiting for him.

Stepping in, he waited as the elevator moved, taking him directly to his target. The doors opened slowly, as if it was reluctant to let him go, but the Asset simply stepped out, into the ridiculous confines of a laboratory. It was familiar and foreign all at once. Christmas trees were set up strategically around the room and lights hung from every available surface. Snow globes sat on every counter. Christmas music assaulted his ears, too loud against the stark silence of the elevator.

The Asset stepped further into the room, eyeing his mission. The woman sat in a swiveling chair in front of a half dozen computer screens, her face illuminated by the glow. Her fingers were flying over a keyboard and glasses were perched on her nose as she worked, unaware of his presence. The music masked his movements and the Asset found that satisfying, ignoring the overly exaggerated croon of the singer.

One of her screens lit up with a call, the face of the man the Asset had been talking to before taking up the space.

"Don't answer," the Asset demanded, voice low and dangerous. The woman in the chair spun to face him, listening to his order and leaving the flat screen ringing.

The music in the room silenced on its own and they were left in complete silence, the woman staring at him with large, surprised eyes. They were a unique color he had only seen on her, warm and caring.

"Sergeant Barnes is experiencing a lapse in memory, Dr. Maddox," the AI spoke from the ceiling, alerting the woman before him of her situation. She didn't bother looking away from him when she answered.

"I noticed. Lock down my lab, will you? I think we need to talk anyway," she informed the AI. Different lights started blinking and the whir of mechanics moving caught the Asset's attention. A quick glance showed him that all means of escape were being cut off. Some phantom voice in his mind reminded him that the ceiling was never cut off and it provided an escape route he could use if necessary. "That'll keep Steve's calls out for now, but Clint and Natasha will be down here soon to see what's wrong."

The Asset didn't speak, unconcerned with the thought of someone coming to take her away. They would not get far.

"I'm guessing you're not Bucky. He's too talkative. Not as talkative as me, but you know, no one is. Do you remember me this time? My name's Nova, if that helps. We're pals. I promise. Hell, I gave you the sweater you're wearing. It's nice, right? Soft and warm, perfect for a sleepy day in," the woman hummed, tilting her head a little as she observed him. Slowly, very slowly, she sank to the floor, folding long legs under her. The Asset stared down at her, wondering what this was about. Why did she insist on talking to him? He wasn't meant to talk to them.

"You're my mission."

"Well, that doesn't bode well," Nova, that's what her name was, blinked in surprise. The Asset shifted his weight when he noted her look of slight fear. Fear was never good. Fear meant something bad was going to happen and it was his job to stop it. "Why don't you sit with me? If I'm your mission, you got time, right? We can talk for a little bit, get to know one another. I'm friends with James, but you're a part of him, aren't you? Which means I would like to be your friend too."

The Asset frowned as she said this.

"No, you don't," he informed her, slowly sitting down across from her. There was a good five feet between them at the moment and he decided that was efficient.

"Yes, I do. You seem cool. I mean, when you're not trying to hurt someone or anything. But you're not going to hurt me, are you? You would have done that by now. Not that I want to move up that timetable if it is what's in the plans," Nova shrugged, her hands staying in her lap, open and clear before him. He could easily take in her posture and know she wasn't dangerous in any way. She wasn't about to attack and she wasn't going to hurt him. As she'd said, if she was going to hurt him, wouldn't she have done it already?

"I'm not cool," the Asset affirmed, scowling at the woman before him.

"You don't get to decide if you're cool. You're either cool or you aren't, there's no decision in it. Unless you're one of those people who try really hard to be cool and fail spectacularly. Have you ever seen one of those people? One of those people who just want to be cool so bad that they aren't cool?" Nova asked, drumming her fingers against her thigh as she thought this through.

The Asset silently wondered if she was sane, squinting at her as he ran through the options in his head. It didn't really matter if she was normal or not. She was still his mission. It didn't matter what he thought of his mission, what mattered was that the mission was completed.

"Okay, never mind. I can see you're getting annoyed. Sorry, my brain-to-mouth filter doesn't work on the best of days and, while I think you're cool and everything, being your mission kind of freaks me the fuck out. Because most of your missions end up dead and one of my goals in life, at least at this point in time, is to avoid dying," Nova informed him quickly. The Asset frowned, blinking slowly as he took this in. Most of his missions didn't _want_ to die. Some had even begged for him not to kill them. Missions, however, were meant to be finished.

Silence reigned as they sat together, various lights flashing through the lab.


	23. It's Raining Men!

**Song: Icarus by Bastille**

 **Sorry for the lateness this week, lovelies. It's been a hell of a week and it's only Monday night. I've been sick for like a week and a half and I had a family thing this weekend that required all the energy I didn't have. So, this one's coming out late and I'm sorry. But it is fairly long, so at least there's that, right? Plus, this one is pretty fun. Property damage and everything. Let me know what you think and thanks for all the reviews, I love them!**

It took fifteen long minutes for the warning lights to stop blinking. It was supposed to be some kind of signal but Nova wasn't sure whom they were signaling. If something really did happen, she was pretty sure everyone in her lab would know about it before the lockdown went into effect. After all, her usual problems tended to go 'boom'.

Glancing up at the man before her, Nova considered him. This was the infamous Winter Soldier. His eyes were dark and serious, his face blank. He had James' face, but there was something different about him when he was in Winter Soldier mode. Maybe it was that there was no spark of recognition when he looked at her. Maybe it was that his emotions made no difference, nothing in his face really changed as he stared at her, not once looking away. Mostly, it was the barely contained violence that seemed to simmer below the surface, promising his enemies a quick death.

Slowly, Nova reached behind her, toward her desk. The Winter Soldier watched the movement and twitched, like he wanted to stop her.

"I'm just grabbing some candy since we aren't talking. See that mug up there? I'm going to grab it. It has lollipops in it," Nova explained, turning her back on him in a risky move. He'd said she was his mission, which meant he could be waiting for the perfect moment to kill her. It was concerning, but he hadn't done it yet. That was reassuring, if nothing else.

Stretching from the floor, Nova gripped the handle of the mug and pulled it down, setting it on the floor and sliding it out in front of her so that not-James could see what she was doing. She didn't like calling him the Winter Soldier. That name inspired fear and she didn't want to be afraid of him. If she became afraid of James, bad things could happen to good people. The bad things being broken hearts and the good people being her and him. So instead she made sure to associate him with the name he had chosen, even if he didn't remember that part. Not-James was a better name than the name of an internationally known assassin.

"Do you want one? They're good. Well, I think they're good," Nova managed to stop herself from going on with a sharp bite to her bottom lip, wincing a little when her teeth managed to draw blood. Not-James tensed immediately as if he could sniff out the blood like a bloodhound, but Nova quickly grabbed one of the pink wrapped suckers, tearing off the wrapper and sticking the sucker in her mouth before he could say anything. The flavor burst along her tongue and Nova felt her shoulders slump in relief. Let no one say that the Dum Dums weren't her comfort food. Being stuck in a room with not-James was a lot less concerning when she was eating her favorite candy. FRIDAY turned the music back on and 'White Christmas' started softly in the background, allowing her to focus on something besides the thoughts swirling in her head.

Slowly, Nova slid the mug across the floor toward not-James. It made it about halfway between them and slowly, not-James moved to grab it. He scooted just a foot and a half closer to her, reaching out and taking one of the candies out. He didn't take one of the pink ones. Instead he took one of the yellow green ones, unwrapping it and sticking it in his mouth. His expression never changed, but he didn't spit it out, so she figured that was a good sign.

"Do you like them?" Nova asked, pulling her sucker out of her mouth and twirling the candy in front of her idly. Not-James's eyes followed the movement, his attention diverted from search and destroy to watch the sucker go round. If she had known it was that easy to distract him, she would have done it ages ago to get a look at his arm. Okay, she wouldn't have, but she kind of wanted to now that she knew just how easily it worked on him. It worked really well on not-James, but she wasn't sure the same trick would work on James. Maybe, after this whole incident blew over, she would try it out. She wouldn't go into his arm without his permission, but there was a lot of stuff she could see without opening his arm.

"I don't see how this could have nutritional value," not-James growled. Nova blinked in surprise, not having expected an answer. She was so used to James being quieter that she didn't think that he had sides of him that actually liked to talk. Or at least didn't want to be alone.

"It doesn't. It's really just sugar on a stick, but I don't see the problem in that, do you? I mean, yeah, food is meant to be nutritional because humans eat to survive like all other animals on the food chain. But food can also be enjoyed, which is awesome because I love food that tastes good. But then you get some foods that have negative values, like celery. It takes more calories to chew celery than the celery actually contains. And then there are foods like suckers and candies and cakes. They're mostly made for taste and special occasions, but they don't really have a nutritional value," Nova chattered, sticking her sucker back into her mouth as she waved a hand at him.

He crunched the sucker in his mouth to dust and swallowed it down, dark eyes finding hers when she gasped in horror.

"You aren't supposed to chew it! Haven't you heard of 'how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop'?" Nova squeaked, throwing her hands into the air in exasperation. Not-James was eerily similar to James as he stared at her, unimpressed and completely emotionless. "Listen: here, try again and let it sit longer. You want it to dissolve on your tongue. That's where the flavors come in."

Not-James took the next sucker from her, which was root beer flavored. Honestly, so long as he wasn't trying to eat the pink ones, she didn't care which ones he took. But variety was a good thing, right?

He unwrapped it and stuck it in his mouth, blinking at her after a moment. She watched him suspiciously, sure he was going to try and bite it. That was something James would do, just to piss her off. But not-James kept his eyes on her and the sucker untouched, the stick poking out of his sinfully delicious lips. Okay, that was totally unhealthy. Nova knew that James wasn't himself right now, that he had trouble with his memories, especially when something triggered him. It wasn't fair to find him attractive when this wasn't the person he wanted to be and Nova tamped down that part of herself, shaking off the lingering thoughts with a whole body shiver.

Not-James straightened alertly, running his eyes over her quickly as if assessing what was wrong. Nova just waved him off, laying back on the floor so that she could stare at the ceiling. The blinding white of the ceiling met her gaze, the hazard lights glowing orange. Instead of choosing a tank top to put on, she'd chosen a sweater to put under her overalls, a light teal with the outline of a reindeer head in black stamped across the middle. Tony had ordered it special for her and it was soft and warm, brushing against her skin gently. It was her favorite Christmas sweater, though she tended to wear more seasonal sweaters when she was at the Dugan house. It annoyed her brother Jas and brought a smile to Evie's lips, not to mention the ugly sweater contests she got into with Elise.

Nova's thoughts stumbled to a stop when movement caught her attention.

Not-James jerked to his feet in a move that startled Nova into sitting upright, her attention held by the magnificent, imposing figure that stood before her. A gun appeared in his hand. Nova's eyes widened and she wondered where the hell he'd hidden that. It wasn't the first time she'd seen an assassin pull a weapon when it seemed damn near impossible, but it was a special kind of amazing that still boggled her mind every time she saw it.

"Wait!" Nova shrieked, grabbing her sucker out of her mouth and throwing the remains toward the garbage. Not-James raised his arm straight toward the ceiling tiles and pulled the trigger in one smooth, practiced move without even sparing her a glance. The echo of the shot rang through the lab and Nova flinched, a hand clapping over her mouth to hold in a scream when the ceiling tile he'd hit broke and a body came falling through. She had a sick feeling she knew who it was and was moving before Clint even hit the floor, throwing herself at Not-James in an attempt to distract him. Clint wasn't dying for her, she wouldn't let him. It was his job to protect civilians, but Nova had never really been a civilian anyway.

Not-James had time to whip his head around to another area of the ceiling before Nova slammed into his chest, his surprised grunt cut off as he reached out to catch her as she bounced off of his totally and completely unmoving chest. His right arm wrapped around her to keep her upright, pulling her into him as his gun stayed on Clint.

"Don't hurt him, he's here to check on me," Nova quickly informed him, taking a deep breath to help her calm down a little. And also to fuel her ability to speak at an alarmingly fast pace. "This is Clint Barton and I don't know if you remember him, but he's pretty cool. He uses a bow and arrow against people he wants to stop and see? He doesn't have it, so he wasn't really planning on hurting us. Not that he would ever hurt me, we've known each other a long time; he was friends with my sister back in the day. You know, when she was training. She said he's a pain in the ass, but good to have on your side. But you can't kill him because we're kind of friends and I really hope that that matters because I'm not sure, just don't shoot him, okay?"

Not-James lowered the gun slightly, head tilting so that he could talk to her. His mouth opened slowly as if he was trying to figure out what to tell her.

He didn't get the chance to start.

The ceiling above them gave way and Nova squeaked in surprise when not-James's arm turned into a band of unyielding steel and he yanked her back, away from the rubble that rained down from the ceiling so fast that they managed to avoid most of the plaster dust. Not-James turned her into his chest, his human hand sliding up to protect her head as he faced off with what could only be Natasha. Natasha would never let Clint do something as completely reckless as this alone.

"Son of a bitch, that hurt. I forgot that you could shoot through those. I need to talk to Tony about bullet proofing the ceiling," Clint's groan of pain met their ears and Nova tried to turn toward the noise, only to have not-James force her to keep still. Relief flooded her that Clint was only injured. He wasn't dying. He'd fight harder if he were dying.

"Back off or I kill her," not-James intoned, voice empty and cold. Nova tensed, figuring she was the person who was going to die in this equation as a cool metal barrel brushed along her hairline.

"You say that like I would care," Natasha's voice met Nova's ears and Nova took a moment to accept that she might die here.

Nova wasn't stupid. She knew that James, when he was fully functioning on all cylinders, was capable of killing her without a thought. Hell, he probably wouldn't even feel bad. But he hadn't killed her yet. Not even Nova knew why, not really, but she knew he realized how dangerous it would be if he hurt her. Not-James didn't have that background information. In fact, he knew nothing about her. It was like all the time they'd been together over the last week and a half was just erased, making her as useless as the rest of the population in his eyes.

If Nova was honest with herself, she knew her mama would read the accident report detailing her death and probably admit that she was one of the main instigators in the incident. Even go so far as to admit that Nova kind of deserved it. Not because her mama didn't love her to the moon and back, but because she'd be horrified by Nova's stupidity of letting not-James into her lab when she knew that he was dangerous.

Natasha wouldn't save Nova if she couldn't. Sure, Nova was Evie's best friend and Natasha was best friends with Evie too, but that meant nothing for Nova. In fact, Natasha preferred that Nova stay away from her. The feeling was mutual, mostly because Natasha freaked Nova out in the way that James should have. The fact that he didn't had more to say about her instincts than him being dangerous or not.

"She's a civilian. It's your job to care," not-James snapped at Natasha, eyes narrowing into a dangerous glare. Natasha met that look unflinchingly, raising one perfect eyebrow.

"She was also a member of SHIELD, an organization that was connected to HYDRA. She's a Legacy, which means she could have ties to HYDRA. Do you really want to risk having a HYDRA mole running loose?" Natasha pushed and Nova reached up to dig her fingers into the soft wool of her brother's sweater as she closed her eyes.

Natasha wouldn't save her life, but Nova had thought the other woman better than tempting James into a relapse.

"Tash…" Clint started, wary. Nova didn't bother to try to look again as she dug her nose into not-James's chest and prayed up to Thor, Heimdall, God, whoever was listening that she wouldn't die today. She still had things to destroy, prosthetics to invent, family to save. Letting not-James kill her would be a mistake, right? She wasn't meant to die by his hand and she wasn't about to accept any answer other than that they all walk out generally unharmed.

Silence stretched, then Nova felt not-James swing the gun in his hand to aim at Natasha instead of Nova. Nova twisted with him, blinking open her eyes as she slightly pulled back. This time, not-James let her, allowing her to turn to see Natasha.

"Natalia is under the impression that you are expendable. So it is up to you to decide her fate," not-James informed Nova, who looked up at him in blank confusion. Of course Natasha thought she was expendable. Natasha thought everyone was expendable. Varying degrees of expendable, of course, but her mission was always to survive. If she lost a friend or two along the way, Natasha was always the one left standing. It was a lonely existence and Nova didn't envy her for it. It was also one of the reasons Nova didn't trust the other woman.

"I don't know what…" Nova trailed off as not-James spun around, kicking out as his boot connected with solid flesh. Nova winced, bending at the waist to see around not-James. He'd given Clint a good boot to the ribs and Nova immediately felt bad for him. Logically she knew that Clint probably deserved it, but it would still bruise pretty badly.

The gun switched hands in a lightning fast twirl, the barrel pointed directly at Natasha's forehead as she paused, mid-step. Not-James jerked his head to the side and Nova crept around his other side, still not sure that she wasn't about to get shot. She did get a better look at Clint this way and she eyed him, trying to see where the blood was coming from. Most of it seemed to be from a graze on his arm. Nothing serious; it probably would need a few stitches, though, unless Dr. Cho was around and feeling helpful. From the complaints the woman had of Clint, Nova would say the likelihood of that would be in the negatives.

"Why don't we have a civilized conversation?" Clint gasped out between clenched teeth, one arm pressed tightly against his ribs. Nova really hoped that his ribs weren't broken. She would go help him but she had a feeling that would make matters worse.

"You're kind of the ones who broke through the ceiling," Nova reminded them, shrugging at little at the dark look Natasha shot her. Yeah, because Natasha hadn't almost gotten Nova killed not ten minutes ago. "If you hadn't broken through the ceiling, we'd have been fine. Which, by the way, I was without you guys. I mean, seriously, what if there had been a biological containment issue?"

"The entire floor would have gone into lockdown and you'd have gone through decontamination, which you didn't," Clint grunted from the floor. Not-James glanced down at him, kicking out and slamming a heel into Clint's thigh. Nova reached out and took not-James's arm, knowing that Natasha was beyond pissed and ready to start a fight. With Nova's luck, it would be a firefight and would ruin her lab. The only good thing was that she had her own weapons stashed around. As long as she could find them, it should be fine. She just had to decide who to shoot at before she started grabbing weapons.

"You shouldn't kick Clint. He just got off a hard mission," Nova explained slowly, fingers wrapping around not-James's ridiculous bicep as she started to drag him away from her friend. Not-James had the decency to glance down at her with confusion written across the frown on his lips. Ignoring the confusion as to why that would matter to him, Nova made sure he was out of kicking range. For Clint's safety, mostly. But Nova had seen Clint fight. If he'd wanted to, he could have taken not-James out before they'd have had any idea he was coming. So what was the point of coming into the lab when they knew he was relapsing? "Why don't we all just calm down and talk. That's what James and I were doing before you burst in."

"I don't think that-" Clint didn't get to finish his thought before the gun was up and pointed at his forehead.

Natasha watched on, head cocked just slightly as she tried to figure out the power play. Nova wasn't sure herself, but she was happy when not-James walked her to her desk and waited while she sat down by the cup of candy before sitting down near her. He was close enough that she didn't have to reach out to touch him, so she didn't. Instead, she leaned against his shoulder, knowing that the sweater should protect her hair from the dangerous gaps in his plates.

"What are you doing?" Clint pulled himself up into a sitting position, blinking a little blearily as he tried to focus. It was hard to tell if this was all an act or if he really didn't feel well. Nova filed it away and decided to let Natasha deal with that. This was her partner; she knew him better than Nova ever would. She knew him better than Nova would ever _want_ to.

Not-James reached out silently and took the stick out of his mouth, throwing it perfectly into the trash can to his left. Nova blinked when she realized he kept the sucker in his mouth the entire incident, not knowing why she was surprised. This was James, after all. As soon as the old sucker was gone, he reached out for another one, pulling it out of the mug with the little birds on it and unwrapping a yellow-brown colored wrapper.

"Oh, that one's butterscotch. If bubblegum wasn't my favorite, butterscotch would be a close second. I bet you'll like that one more than you've liked the other ones. Have you ever had cookies with butterscotch in them?" Nova asked, pulling out one of her pink candies reflexively. Clint and Natasha were watching them carefully, as if not-James would suddenly try and shoot her.

"Yes," not-James answered quietly, dark eyes still pinning Natasha and Clint to their spots. Natasha slowly lowered herself where she stood, frowning as she fully sat. Obviously, she wasn't happy with the current arrangement. Nova wasn't sure what she was hoping would happen but was happy that whatever it was hadn't happened. Not-James wasn't James in his head, but this was James' body. If they shot him or something, James would be hurt later and Nova didn't really want James or not-James hurt.

"Did you like them? My grandma Angie made the best butterscotch cookies. I guess she learned from a diner she worked at. At least that's what she used to tell us. Grandma Angie was going to be an actress before she joined SHIELD," Nova informed not-James casually, humming as she rested more heavily against him. His arm was hard, but it wasn't cold with the sweater on. And her hair couldn't get caught in it at the moment, so that was nice. She could hear the gears click as it reset itself a comforting whir running through the arm. Listening closely, Nova could detect a soft hiss that shouldn't be there, but she knew that it wasn't time for her to fix it yet. James hadn't asked, he wasn't ready.

"I don't know," not-James answered her original question, his other shoulder shrugging gently.

"This is bullshit," Natasha snarled. Not-James shot her a dirty look but didn't try and lift the gun in his hand. If he lifted it, it would dislodge Nova and she knew it. Just because she liked to appear innocent about combat didn't mean she wasn't smart enough to see a chance for peace and take it.

"This is calm. Nice. Isn't it, James?" Nova very deliberately used not-James' real name, wondering if it would help pull him out of his lapse now that he was comfortable and not quite as on-guard as before.

James tensed rapidly, his gaze going blank. Nova pulled back far enough to see his eyes, one of her hands moving to squeeze his forearm. It was unforgiving, but she hoped it helped ground him. Slowly, she slipped her fingers into his and held on, lacing their fingers together. James's hand tightened around hers and Nova held still, watching.

She swore loudly and profoundly when his eyes rolled back into his head and he collapsed backwards onto the floor.


	24. Another Tangle

**Song: Halo by Beyoncé**

 **Still not feeling too hot, but I do have a new chapter for everyone! So sorry for the terrible cliff hangers…. I might love them…. I hope you like the chapter, let me know what you think!**

James woke up warm and comfortable, a slim hand clutching his tightly. It took a moment for his mind to catch up and his lips tilted into a frown when he realized that whomever it was was holding his prosthetic. They didn't seem to care about that part and there was a weight on his chest that was out of place, pulling him into consciousness.

Blinking, James immediately focused on the ceiling above him, the white ceiling tiles familiar and oddly comforting. The biggest hint to his location was the Christmas lights that were pinned to the tops of the walls, twinkling down at him.

His memory of what happened caught up and James bolted upright, panic clutching at his chest. The weight on his chest fell and he snapped around, eyes finding bleary chocolate brown eyes that were trying their damnedest to focus on him. Red-orange hair puffed around her head and Nova raised a hand to yawn into, the dark circles under her eyes standing out again pale skin. Her freckles were dark in comparison and James breathed deeply, trying to dispel the immediate concern that flooded him. Who was he to be concerned? He could have killed her.

"I tried to wait up, but you slept for a long time. I hope you don't mind that I just had Natasha and Clint lift you up here. I figured it was safer than trying to move you back to your apartment. Besides, Natasha wanted to put you in a holding cell and I told her to go to hell. I'm pretty sure she would have hit me if Clint hadn't intervened," Nova informed him softly, voice rough with sleep. James frowned tightly, shoulders tensing as he realized just what she had managed to save him from. He preferred that she had let him go into the cell, though. Getting into a fight with Natalia was never a good idea and he didn't want the woman to try and take revenge.

"Are you hurt?" popped out of his mouth before he could think of something better to ask. He remembered most of it. Steve had been talking shit and he'd gotten mad. Actually, he'd been enraged. Who was Steve to tell him that Nova was worth less than he was? Maybe Steve didn't know her well enough because James was damn sure that she was worth ten of him. After that, the world blacked out for a few minutes until he found himself in Nova's lab, watching her. It had been quiet for the most part. She'd given him some of her candy and they'd sat there. The Asset thought that Nova was his mission.

He'd been on protective details before. The Asset had been too. And that part of him had chosen Nova to protect. It had to be some mixed signal that had put him with her, but he wasn't going to complain. At least he hadn't hurt her.

Then Barton and Natalia had been climbing in the ceiling and James had shot at them. He hadn't known who it was when he'd pulled his gun, but it hadn't mattered. They were a threat and he wasn't about to let them near Nova while he was on watch. Some part of him must have intervened though, because he knew Barton was still alive. Nova had confirmed that theory when she'd mentioned that Barton had helped move him. Which was a surprise because James was fairly certain he'd skimmed his arm with a bullet, fractured a few ribs, and bruised his thigh. The man shouldn't have been moving. He definitely shouldn't have been lifting James.

Then Natalia had come down and it was a close call. James had almost killed both of them. Nova stepping in had saved their lives and he intended to make sure that they were aware of that fact. Even if Nova had told Natalia to go to hell, Nova had saved her and Natalia owed her. No matter that Natalia didn't like her—she wouldn't turn her back on a life debt. James intended to put the thought to good use and make sure Natalia never bothered her again.

"Of course not. You didn't even try to hurt me, which is pretty impressive considering I was talking basically just as much as I normally do and I know it annoys you. Then again, not-James didn't seem to really care so long as I stayed near him. Of course, that could have had more to do with Natasha and Clint than with me," Nova hummed as she thought about it and James frowned as he realized what it was that she called him. He'd been called a lot of things, but not-James was probably the most outlandish.

"Not-James?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as Nova pushed into a truly upright position. She was seated on her desk chair that she'd dragged over to the cot in the corner of her lab. That was where she'd put him and it seemed like she'd been fast asleep when he'd woken up. For a moment, he wished he hadn't woken up yet. Nova obviously needed the sleep as her eyes were still having a hard time staying open, drooping as she rubbed at them in thought. If he had to sleep to give her a few more minutes when it was so obvious she needed it, he would do it.

"That's what I call that side of you. There's you, James, not-James, who is the scary assassin with a swagger that could kill, and then there's Bucky, who talks almost as much as I do. Why don't you let Bucky out more often? I bet we could be best friends. Though it would be nice if you'd remember me when you have memory lapses. Explaining it all the time must be confusing. Maybe we should try and get a signal down. Do you think your other parts would respond to a signal? I should send a message to Dr. Banner, he might know. Even Dr. Cho might have an idea—she's more of a medical doctor than I am. I should probably talk to a psychologist, but they give me the heebie-jeebies," Nova informed him, wrinkling up her nose a little. James stared at her, awed and a little shocked. It was the first time for as long as he could remember that his jaw fell from disbelief.

No one else had mentioned his lapses in personality in such a casual way before. As if they weren't dangerous or a bother. As if he wasn't insane just for having this sort of problem. Steve never mentioned them if he didn't have to, Sam Wilson had tried to talk to him until James had let the Asset out and attacked him, and Evangeline had never met any of them. Nova was the only one who seemed comfortable talking about them. She'd even named them. No one else had tried to get to know the other parts of him. Steve wanted Bucky back. The rest of the world saw him as the Asset. Very few cared who James was. But Nova seemed invested in all of them.

"The Asset," James whispered, hating how quiet his voice was when he spoke of that side of him. He knew it was all him, there was no way to deny it. All of those parts of him made up the whole, but they wouldn't mesh together into one person. He couldn't control them, and even if he could, what would he do with them?

"What?" Nova blinked and James watched the awareness sparkle into her warm eyes, her head cocking to the side like a curious bird.

"It isn't not-James. It's the Asset. That's what they called me," James admitted. Usually, he hated the name. The Asset made him sound like a tool or a weapon to be used and thrown away. But he preferred Nova didn't associate that part of him with who he was now. This was her second time meeting the Asset and she had somehow survived both experiences. He wanted to keep it that way. He also wanted to ensure that she wasn't afraid of him now. Everyone feared the Asset. He feared the Asset. But James didn't want her to fear him when he was with her. If he could take that association away from her, he would in a heartbeat.

"I can change the name if you want, but I'm not calling you that. It's demeaning and gross and I would never try and dehumanize you in that way. HYDRA is made up of a bunch of assholes who deserve what's coming to them. You're a human being and all parts of you make that human being. If I call part of you the Asset, it takes away from your value as a whole and I won't do it," Nova firmly informed him, her jaw set in an expression he recognized from the time she'd yelled at him that he deserved someone to love. He still wasn't sure he believed her, but he knew that she would use the same ferocity to defend him now. Even if it meant defending him from himself. "You shouldn't either, you know? All those years spent thinking you were nothing more than a weapon were bullshit. It was all lies. Did HYDRA ever tell you the truth?"

James sat there in a stunned silence for a moment. No one was ever that crass or that truthful with him. He'd been to the SHIELD therapists. He'd been to the ones that Steve had brought in and even some that Sam Wilson had suggested. Most of them were hacks. Others tiptoed around him like he was a child, trying to draw him out of his shell with stupid games or childish ideals. Still more tried to tell him he wasn't responsible, that he wasn't the person who had hurt all those people. Those were lies. No matter if he had control of his mind at the time, James had been the person behind the trigger. Their blood was on his hands. He couldn't remember anyone ever openly telling him that everything he'd been through was bullshit. Or putting it in such an obvious way, as if everyone should think that way.

Before James could really think, he reached out and grabbed Nova's arm, pulling her off her chair and tumbling her into his chest. She threw out her palms and caught herself against his chest with a laugh, her thin body shuddering in his arms for a moment as she giggled.

It was cliché and ridiculous, but the sound was music to his ears.

Wrapping both arms around her, James let her circle her arms around his neck and she hugged him back tightly, burying her face into his shoulder. James held on, ducking his head to take a deep breath of her scent. Coconut and motor oil met his senses and the tense muscles in his back and shoulders slowly unclenched as he curled himself around her, pressing his eyes shut and wishing that she'd been there earlier.

For a while, they just sat like that, arms wrapped around one another and Nova stroking the hair on the back of his neck gently. James buried his face in her neck, warmth sliding through him as he held onto her. There was something about her that calmed him and he let the sensation take over, relaxing inch by inch.

"Not that this isn't fun, but we have a schedule to keep," Nova hummed softly, not moving to lift her head off of his shoulder. James felt his lips quirk, his amusement openly shown. Maybe her incessant talking wasn't terrible. He could admit that in the privacy of his own mind, at least. She was a conundrum, yes, but he always knew what she was thinking and that brought him more peace than he thought possible. It was a large change from his life the last few years. Everyone was always trying to keep their fear, their hatred, their relief, and even their happiness from him, afraid they'd set him off and end up with half the Tower dead. It was nice to have someone around that didn't think like that.

"Schedule?" he murmured, brushing his lips along the side of her neck. Nova shifted in his grip, shivering as she laughed. Holding onto her tightly and careful not to let his left arm crush her, James lifted her off the chair she was seated on and into his lap. Nova simply wiggled into a comfortable position and leaned further into him, as if they did this all the time. He wished that they did.

"Yeah. It's morning. And you need clothes," Nova informed him, pulling back so that she could see him. James let her, resting his hands on her hips carefully. "I told you I'd take you shopping if I got you on the ground and I did. So we have to go shopping. And I think today would be as good a day as any to start on that. You need some shirts, dress pants, jeans that fit you, shoes, some small toiletries for the trip, a button down or two, and the ugliest sweater I can find."

"Why do I want an ugly sweater?" James demanded, scowling a little. He hated when he didn't understand things. It happened more around Nova than almost anyone else in his life. Which was just odd because he barely knew anything about this century and yet Nova was the only one who could confuse him so easily.

"Because there's going to be an ugly sweater contest and, if I don't win, you need to. It's like a holiday thing that popped up in the last few years. Everyone goes out and buys the ugliest Christmas sweaters they can find and then there's a little party thing and someone gets a prize. It's a family tradition, you know? And, before you ask, yes, I usually win. But that's because I'm ruthless looking for ugly sweaters. I have a huge ass collection because I steal all my brothers' old sweaters. You should have seen Jas's face the first ugly sweater Christmas challenge, when I showed up wearing the sweater his ex got him. It was hilarious and slightly inappropriate," Nova informed him, smiling widely. James watched the freckles along her nose dance, wishing that he could convince her to go back to sleep for a few more hours. The bags under her eyes were still dark stains against her skin and he didn't want her exhausting herself trying to make him feel better. But he knew that if he argued, she'd go by herself.

"If you're sure," James sighed, mind flashing to Natalia and Clint. "Is Barton alright?"

"Oh, yeah. He was a little insulted that you broke one of my ceiling tiles, though. I think he's more upset about the tile than he is about his arm, if I'm being honest. You might want to replace it for him. Which, now that I think about it, I'm kind of upset about too. You know, that is my ceiling. You know the rules: no touching things unless I say it's safe. Which means that you broke the rules because I never expressly said the ceilings were safe," Nova ranted, throwing herself back toward the floor dramatically.

James's heart stuttered in his chest as his hands flew up on their own accord to catch her, fingers tangling in her hair as he lunged to get a hand behind her back and her head. Nova groaned as he caught her, her slim body cradled gently in his arms. He dragged her back upright, glaring at her angrily.

"You could have hurt yourself," he reminded her firmly, a step away from snapping at her.

"Ow!" she shrieked as he started to let her go. James froze immediately, eyes flickering over her quickly to figure out the cause of her pain.

"You're caught in my hair again! Oh my fuck, how does this always happen? I swear to Heimdall you do this on purpose!" Nova cried, head tilted back. James slowly raised his hand so that her head could come up to a more comfortable level and he grimaced at the tangle of her hair that was stuck in the plates of his forearm.

"Hold still," he demanded, shrugging his shoulder and flexing his fingers to try and release the right plates. Nova tensed, holding herself as still as possible. The whir and shriek of plates shifting met their ears and James winced a little, ignoring the cautious look Nova shot him. Obviously, she'd realized that his arm wasn't working like it was supposed to.

"You know, I was wondering why you came to visit Tony before. I think I know why now. And, uh, I know I talk too much and annoy you and whatever, but maybe I could take a look at your arm?" It came out as a question and James fought back a wince. Nova was usually ridiculously confident. He didn't find any pleasure in seeing her as anything less. "Even if you don't really like having people near your arm, I promise to be careful and quick. I can just run a diagnostic and check the switch boards, analyze the components to figure out what's wrong with it. Then we can talk about it and see what you want to do. No strings, no promises; just a quick check and some info."

"You can do that?" James asked slowly, picking a piece of her hair out of his arm. There were only a few strands caught this time, not as bad as before. It wouldn't take long to free her so long as she stayed still and let him work.

"Of course. I have access to all of Tony's machines and files. If he has anything relevant, FRIDAY will find it for me. I might have to jimmy a few machines to connect and provide readouts, but it shouldn't take too long. I can do it as soon as my hair is free, if you'd like. FRIDAY can sort through the info while we shop," Nova offered, still quiet. James stared at the top of her head as he shifted the plates again, pain shooting along his spine.

The offer was tempting. The pain was only getting worse and it was becoming more obvious that he was having trouble. Nova was the only one in the building with the correct training to help him now that Stark was gone. It would take a month or more to wait for Stark to be able to help him and Nova was the obvious choice.

Most days, he'd choose Nova over Stark in a heartbeat.

"It's okay if you say no. I'll understand if you do. But I'm not sure if you're in pain and I don't want you to be in pain if I can help it. Anytime really works, if you want to do it tomorrow or two weeks from now or whatever. Just let me know," Nova kept going when he didn't answer right away and James stifled a smirk at the sound of her voice. Nova never did shut up.

"It hurts," James muttered, shifting the plates again and picking out another two pieces of her hair.

"What?" Nova almost turned to look at him, but James caught her chin with his human hand, forcing her not to move too far.

"It hurts. I think it's nerve pain. They connected the arm to my nerves and I can feel it. It's like something's pinching," James trailed off, focusing on a particularly stubborn strand of Nova's hair.

"Synthetic nerves aren't completely understood even now. Most scientific research facilities aren't anywhere close to producing results like this. The ones that are don't understand the implications or how to correctly connect the synthetic nerves to the nerves in the human body. I've been studying biomechanical engineering for years and very few people get even close to the kind of results you're looking at. It's also possible that some of the original nerve endings were salvaged. I realize you lost part of your arm when you died, but the rest of your arm was removed to attach the prosthetic. It's possible that some tissue and feeling remains. I don't know what the prosthetic looks like on the inside, so I can't give you a full explanation, but it's something to think about," Nova informed him, leaning back a little. She wasn't near the edge of the cot anymore, so she wasn't in danger of falling off the edge of the bed. "If you were thinking about letting me do these imaging and diagnostics tests and then, if those go well, you let me look at the makeup of the prosthetic, I have a suggestion."

"You always have something to say, don't you?" James snorted at the attempt to change the subject and Nova wrinkled her nose just like Evangeline did sometimes.

"Always," Nova agreed easily, seeming to brush off whatever bothered her about that statement. "What I meant was that I know you don't really like your prosthetic and that it holds a lot of bad memories. Well, I don't know, like personally, how badly that affects you or what the day to day aspects are or why you really don't like it because it's a mechanical marvel and I would willingly sell my soul for a look at something so high tech…" Nova trailed off when James focused on her and raised an eyebrow, fighting back a smirk. He knew that Nova wasn't afraid of his arm, she saw it as a prosthetic instead of a HYDRA built death machine, but he wasn't aware just how in love with his arm she was. Evangeline might have mentioned a few times that her best friend would do anything he wanted to get a look at his arm, but James hadn't really believed her. Seeing this, he did. "My point being: I was wondering if you'd let me study the biomechanical properties. It would be nothing invasive—I would never make you sit through being a guinea pig. I was just hoping maybe I could take a look inside and see what kind of machinery they were working with."

"Why?" James asked, finally freeing Nova's hair from his arm. He rested his hands on her hips again and Nova tapped a finger against the metal of his arm absently.

"I know this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I want to recreate the process."

James stiffened nausea boiling in his stomach.

"Don't take that like it sounds, please! Just listen for a second before you freak out. I don't want to recreate anything HYDRA ever did to you. I would never do that to anyone. I want to recreate the particular bond your prosthetic has with your body. There are only two metals on the planet that can bond with the human body so completely and they're both very rare and very expensive. I might be able to get some from Tony, but not enough to mass produce," Nova explained quickly. She was jumping around topics and not making sense, but James calmed slightly. She was trying to tell him something about his arm. She wanted to use the information. "If we can find some sort of buffer metal or something, we could have high grade prosthetics like yours around the world."

James paused, running his human hand along her back.

"You want to make advanced prosthetics?" He almost laughed. Of course he would find the one person who would want to use him to make something without wanting to hurt him in the process. And of course it was a beautiful girl with a face he couldn't quite say no to.

"Are you kidding? That's my life's work. I work with Tony because he can get the funding and the equipment. Well, that and I like to blow shit up, but that's beside the point. My main goal while working with SHIELD was high grade explosives and biomechanical research as it pertains to advanced prosthetics." Nova's warm brown eyes glowed up at him as she spoke, bouncing a little in his lap as she explained her work. James smiled gently down at her, running a hand up her neck so that he could brush his thumb over the dimple on her chin. "If there are synthetic nerves in your arm and they're working with your spinal column and your nervous system, that could change the world as we know it. Prosthetics are always in demand and the high cost doesn't help. I want to figure out a way that we can get the materials cheaper and mass produce. A prosthetic of your quality isn't easy to manufacture, but if we could get enough people to donate and help, it could work. Maybe not quite up to par with yours, of course. The kind of pain you'd have had to go through and the surgeries and scarring…"

"So you want to save the world?" James teased gently, wondering why he kept getting stuck with the slightly insane world saving types.

"No one person can save the world. But I would like the chance to help people, especially when I have the resources and the means to do it. If you'd prefer that the data remain between us, though, I'll make sure FRIDAY deletes the drives after we're done," Nova promised, blinking up at him.

James leaned forward and pressed his lips into hers, human fingers sliding back to fist in her hair and his metal hand clenching at her hip. Nova giggled against his lips, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer.

The best part of that sentence was that he knew she was completely, one hundred percent serious. It was also the worst part. How could he say no to that?


	25. It Doesn't Hurt

**Song: Ghost by Halsey**

 **I got to see my bestest friend this weekend! That is why I am so unforgivably late with this update. I'm sorry for the wait but not sorry for spending time with my bestie. She's amazing and awesome and everything you'd need in a best friend. I hope you all enjoy the chapter, thanks for the lovely reviews!**

Nova motioned for James to drag his chair over to the spot she was arranging to work on his arm, not wanting him to be uncomfortable while she worked. Most of the precautions she'd taken while working on something of this caliber were pushed to the back of her mind. James already looked to be a slightly sick shade of green as he carefully placed the chair near her, slumping into it. She never asked, but he slowly peeled his shirt off, scowling deeply as he did. If he wasn't in such obvious emotional distress, Nova would have appreciated his build.

"Okay, I'm going to use this handheld device here to do an initial scan. It shouldn't hurt at all; it just uploads the metal components into Tony's servers to give me an idea of what we're working with," Nova explained, holding up the scanner she was planning on using. James eyed it speculatively and Nova hoped he wouldn't break it. It would definitely put a damper on her project and she wasn't going to go through with it if it got him that upset. "If anything hurts at any moment, tell me. This isn't supposed to hurt right now; it's just imagining to get an idea of what metals have been used and if there are any booby-traps that have been laid. I don't care if it's a muscle spasm or full out nerve pain, let me know and I'll stop."

James nodded slightly, shoulders tensed. Nova waited a moment to make sure he wasn't going to back out before she turned on the little wand she was using. It took visual readings as well and uploaded them into FRIDAY, who would process the information and give Nova a full review to work with.

Starting at his fingertips, Nova slowly and methodically started to slide the wand over the surface of his arm, standing at the end of James' knees. After a moment, he started to relax, his human fingers loosening from the chair where he had pressed them. The process was painless and quick; Nova had done the same thing a hundred times. Then again, she'd never really used it on an appendage connected to an actual human being before. But Vision had promised her he hadn't felt a thing. Nova still wasn't one hundred percent certain if Vision felt pain like humans did, but she took his word for it. He was supposed to be some celestial superhuman or something. No one had really explained how Vision came about. He just appeared one day.

"How's it feel? Any pain, numbness, or tingling?" Nova demanded, stepping between James' knees to reach past his forearm.

"It doesn't do anything," James admitted, sounding a little surprised. Nova didn't take it personally—she knew he just wasn't used to not being hurt. Which was incredibly sad. No one bothered to teach him that his arm didn't have to hurt. It brought the burn of rage to Nova's stomach as she very carefully instructed James to lift his arm. Once he complied, she ran the wand over the rest of the metal, biting her bottom lip as she took in the scar tissue that surrounded the base.

Whoever had done this to him was a monster.

"It's not supposed to do anything. It's imaging, that means it give me a picture and scans and various components but doesn't actually change anything in the arm physically. It's pretty nifty, if I do say so myself," Nova smiled down at him as she pulled back, ready to put it away.

"You have to go further," James interrupted, reaching out to catch her with his human hand.

"What do you mean?"

"The metal goes under the skin. So do some of the connections. You have to go at least to my spinal cord on the back and to my sternum on the front," he informed her, watching innocently as Nova stared down at him, speechless.

It took a minute for her brain to catch up and she was immediately pissed. Not only had they fucked with his arm and taken off the flesh he still had left, they'd instilled the entire thing directly into his spine? Did they not know how dangerous that was? Even HYDRA had to have some people who listened to medical ethics. They'd basically thrown ethics out the window when they'd worked on James and Nova wanted to find the HYDRA assholes that had done this to him and end them. One wrong move would have paralyzed him. Or worse, killed him.

If he had died, there was no doubt in Nova's mind that HYDRA would have kept going until someone else lived. James was the best candidate because he had a version of the serum in him. It gave him advanced healing, advanced stamina, advanced strength, and peak human durability. All things that had been integral to his survival for so long. Without those, he'd have never survived HYDRA.

"Okay, sit still," Nova ordered, biting back any comments she could make about how vehemently she wanted to destroy any remaining HYDRA scientists. James was watching her carefully as he sat up, pulling his back off of the backrest on the chair and letting her run the wand over his shoulder blade. Thick welted scars ran across his back in ropy tendrils, crossing patterns that brought nausea to Nova's gut. His long hair just brushed the tip of the highest scar, the raised skin pale. Muscles bunched and jumped when she brushed her fingers over one particularly long scar that went from the scar on his left shoulder all the way across to the his right. Pulling back as soon as the scan was complete, Nova moved to scan his chest, swallowing hard in an attempt to distract herself from what she was doing.

She wasn't there to look over his scars or kiss his wounds. He trusted her to work on his arm and that was a big step for James. Nova wasn't about to ruin it by asking the burning questions that roiled just below the surface of her calm mask. Questioning people had been fun when she was little. It wasn't until she hit the awkward teen years that she realized not everyone would be impressed by her incessant need for knowledge. If she had to bet, Nova would say that James was one of the people who wouldn't approve, especially if the subject was his past.

Running the wand over James's chest carefully, Nova fought the urge to ogle him like a teenage girl seeing her first naked man. It wasn't like he's stripped for her amusement. But he was defined in all the right ways and sinfully gorgeous even with a shirt on. It was super unfair that he looked ten times as sexy without it.

The scars across James' chest caught her eye and she ran a finger over a particularly large bullet wound, eyes falling to examine a knife wound that was just this side of fatal. His skin was warm and soft against the tips of her fingers and she brushed along a scar that was obviously stitch closed that crossed between his pecs right where his sternum was. She assumed that was where they'd worked the wiring in with all the grace of someone who didn't give a fuck about his life. It was damn near impossible for Nova not to jump back to that fact. Why didn't someone care about him? Why didn't someone save him?

She got that the Army assumed he'd died in action and that no one thought he was alive so why would they go looking to free a suffering POW from HYDRA clutches. But she didn't understand how people could know what was happening and not try to help him. Were people really that terrible? That they could see the way HYDRA treated him and just let it go? What possible reason could they have for that?

Nova's lips, pressed tightly into a thin line, tilted down at the corners as she recognized all of the similarities between Evie's scars and James'.

Evie's scars were just as bad and the sight of their shared scars brought tears to Nova's eyes. She had read Evie's file a million times. It wasn't that she was nosy or anything- though she was- she just had to know. Evie was her best friend and she didn't want to make her talk about things that were uncomfortable for her. And the Evie who came back after the first HYDRA incident wasn't the Evie that had left. Nova had had to relearn her best friend, not that Evie was at fault for that. After she'd gotten more stable and realized she was safe, Evie had told Nova some of the more gritty parts. She hadn't gone deeply into detail, but Nova knew. She knew what those assholes had done to her. It sucked that HYDRA was even still around and it was worse that her friends, the people she cared about, ended up in their clutches.

"It doesn't hurt anymore," James spoke softly. Nova started, almost dropping the wand she'd been using as her head snapped up to meet James's eyes. His lips were tilted in a sardonic smile that didn't spread to his eyes. "It was almost eighty years ago now."

"But it doesn't feel like it, does it? I mean, you're not really over a hundred. You weren't allowed to live all of those years," Nova pressed, tilting her head and wishing she could hug him again. Just to remind him that not everything had to hurt. Because someone needed to keep reminding him that life wasn't about pain. It was about happiness and love and surviving the worst the world had to throw. James had definitely survived the worst and he deserved happiness now.

"Some days, it feels like I lived all of them," James admitted, his human hand reaching out and brushing along her cheek. Nova forced a small smile, glancing up to stop the tears from falling.

"Then we'll just make you some new, better memories to think about. Christmas is coming up, so we need to get some gifts while we're out too. Buying for the family is a trainwreck, don't give yourself a panic attack worrying about that. I was thinking we could look for gifts for Steve, Evie, Natasha, and Clint. Sam's got a thing so he's not coming. And I don't think you know the rest of my relatives. But that means that you'll have a nice memory of the joy of Christmas shopping," Nova teased gently, hoping to snap him and herself out of this funk. It was still early, she didn't want to waste a whole day feeling shitty.

"I've Christmas shopped before," James huffed, as if he was insulted she'd think he needed help. Or at least wouldn't have memories of doing it. Nova placed the wand she'd been using on the counter and glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh, really? In 1943?" she asked, a small smile trying to work its way onto her lips.

"I did go shopping in 1943. If I remember right, I got my sisters presents. I was working down at the docks, so I had some pocket change I used to get them some trinkets. Rebecca, Winnie, and Ida were my sisters. Rebecca got a bracelet I found in the market. Silver, I think. I gave Winnie a slingshot. She was always more energetic than my other sisters and she loved it. Said it was the best damn gift anyone ever got her. Ma wasn't too proud, but she didn't try to take it away. Ida got ribbons for her hair. A rainbow of colors. She had the lightest hair out of all of us and dimples to match," James informed her, eyes far away as he remembered.

It didn't take long for James's manner to relax, his posture slumping a little and his eyes focusing harder on her than before. Nova still smiled fondly, wondering if James knew what the memories did for him. He'd been able to talk in first person this time. He knew he had done those things, that it had been him that had three sisters.

"What's a doll like you doin' in a place like this?" James's mouth opened and Bucky's Brooklyn accent slipped out. Even the smirk on his lips grew larger, larger than life, really.

"Just doing my job," Nova shrugged, rolling back onto her heels and taking in the current situation. She hadn't met Bucky without a visit from not-James yet, but maybe she'd get lucky. She didn't quite know about James, but Nova knew that not-James definitely wouldn't like him. Aside from occasional jealousy over Bucky being the man Steve wanted James to be, she was pretty sure the two personalities would get along just fine. James had those parts in him, it just wasn't easy to pull them out and put them away like he used to.

"Nova, right sweetheart?" Bucky grinned at her when her jaw fell.

"You… you remember me?" Nova spluttered, blinking quickly as her mind started to really work. So far, not-James and Bucky had seemed to only remember details before a certain date or life event. So, Bucky was still stuck in the forties. Nova wasn't sure exactly where, but he was in the forties, probably right before the raid he died on if she had to take a guess. And not-James…. Well, Nova assumed not-James's memories went from the train fall to the fall of SHIELD. Or, at least, up to right before the assignment that would change not-James's life forever. And James, he had a mix of memories. He had all of the memories from his days with the Avengers and such, but he also had memories of other times too. Like he knew Steve's mother's name and that they had to stuff newspapers in his shoes to make them fit. Or like how he knew karate and systema from his days as not-James.

How could Bucky start making new memories? And why was this the first she'd noticed of it? Not-James didn't recognize her. At least, he didn't say he did. Then again, Bucky was more forthcoming with information, so it was possible that not-James did remember but didn't want her to know that detail.

"Course I remember you, sweetheart. I told you I never forget a pretty face," Bucky flirted, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. The other weird thing about Bucky was that, physically, he never seemed to be surprised. If he noticed his prosthetic, he didn't mention it. If he realized his hair was longer than regulation, it didn't seem to bother him. It brought up a whole slew of questions Nova wanted to demand answers to, but she figured that wasn't the best way to go about this.

She was the first to admit she was no psychology expert, but maybe they needed to find one who would know what to do with all of… this.

"You did say that. I just wasn't sure how far I could believe you. Now, hot stuff, what's on your mind?" Nova teased, leaning against the table they were placed by. Bucky barely spared it a glance, seeming to focus completely on Nova. She didn't mind talking to Bucky, he was sweet and funny and open in a way that James wasn't. But it still unnerved her to see another man in James's body. James was a good guy too. And she wished that there was a way to bring all the personalities together so that he didn't see the physical separation of his past.

"Just thinkin' 'bout a pretty girl," Bucky flirted shamelessly, pulling a laugh from Nova's lips. He grinned as soon as she gave in, a quirk of his brow all the confirmation she needed to see to know that he knew he was cute. This was the Bucky that her grandpa had talked about at length over the years. This was the man who went on dates almost every Friday night before the war and this was the man who obsessively protected a young, fragile Steve Rogers. If it was another time, Nova could see herself falling for a man like that.

"Don't you know it's rude to think about another woman when you're already with one? I swear, men these days," Nova clucked her tongue and shook her head in mock disappointment, keeping her smile firmly in place so he knew she wasn't serious.

"You sell yourself short, sweetheart. With eyes like that it's a wonder you haven't already been snatched up. You got a fella at home waitin' for you?" Bucky pressed, sliding his eyes up and down her length and leaving a warm trail in his wake. The smirk on his lips deepened as he eyed her, seeming to like what he saw. Because overalls and Christmas sweaters were just so sexy.

"Who needs a man? I got a lab full of anything a girl could dream of, a job to keep me afloat, the chance of a lifetime to create something to change the world. Who's got time for mind games and dating?" Nova shrugged casually, almost believing herself. Dating wasn't something she thought about often. When she'd gone to Sci Ops, she was too young to really start a relationship and she'd been neck deep in motor oil and grease. Even if someone looked twice, it was only a casual thing. After what happened with Maggie, Nova had decided not to try and make things permanent. After all, people left so easily these days.

"Don't have to need a man far as I can see. Wantin' one is a different story. And the way you look you could have any fella in a mile radius at your beck and call with just a twinkle of the eye," Bucky offered, shrugging a shoulder casually. Nova softened a little to him. He wasn't just chatting her up, though he was trying to. He looked honest and that was something she appreciated. He didn't tell her she was some supernatural beauty, but he did compliment her in a gentlemanly way. No wonder the ladies went crazy for him back in the forties.

"You know, I never understood why everyone was all about dating when I was younger. Seems to me that having a boyfriend just ends in more work," Nova raised an eyebrow while Bucky laughed, a deep, belly laugh that Nova had never heard from James. Then again, she'd rarely seen him with a real smile on his face and Bucky was all smiles all the time.

"I promise not to make you have to work, sweetheart," Bucky teased.

The door to the lab sliding open put him on immediate alert and Nova tensed as the smile that was so naturally brightening those dark eyes slid right off as if it had never been. Returning to awareness was James, who placed himself resolutely between Nova and the elevator. At least, she thought, it wasn't not-James.

The doors opened to reveal none other than Pepper Potts.


	26. Pepper Potts and the Ceiling Protocols

**Song: Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift**

 **So sorry for the late update! I swear I didn't plan to take this long! School has been hectic and I just moved again and yeah. It's just been busy. I promise not to give up on Supernova. I love this story too much. Thanks for all the lovely reviews, let me know what you think of this too! Any questions, comments concerns, don't be afraid to PM me! I love hearing from you guys!**

"You're here!" Nova cried. James fought back the instinct to grab her and hold her back as she went flying by him, all long limbs and tangled hair. The woman he'd grown so fond of threw herself at the woman in the doorway, obviously unconcerned with the fact that the other woman was standing in four inch heels and wearing a formal business suit.

To the other woman's credit, she caught Nova in a tight hug without wavering.

"I didn't know you had company," the woman, James placed her as Pepper Potts, Tony Stark's ex-fiancée, held onto Nova like she hadn't seen her in years, eyes sliding closed as they hugged.

Nova was the first to pull away and she turned to glance at where James was still standing. He met her eyes and raised an eyebrow, silently asking if she was alright. He remembered what had happened between Bucky and Nova like it was a dream. Some parts were further in his memory than others, but he knew that Bucky wouldn't hurt her. It brought up a funny, ugly feeling in his stomach to think of Nova flirting with anyone, but Bucky flirted like he breathed: easily and constantly. If James knew anything about Nova, he knew that she would think it was fun to flirt with his other self. It shot a bolt of unease through him, but he could live with it so long as she wasn't hurt.

"James, you remember Pepper Potts, right? She was Tony's fiancée before he fucked it up and she's Stark Industries' acting CEO. She's also one of my best friends. She's really more like an aunt or a cousin, but you know what I mean," Nova informed him, sending the uncomfortable annoyance away. She'd introduced him to Pepper first. She'd thought of him first. "Pep, this is James, Steve's best friend. I think you guys have met once or twice. Probably haven't talked much, though. Anyway, I think you two will get along. James is a little quiet, but you get used to it after a while."

Nova shrugged with a grin and looked between them with big, hopeful eyes. James took a hesitant step forward, not wanting to have to talk to the other woman but knowing that Nova wanted him to. Maybe she didn't expect him to make nice fully (she was still a little tense) but she brightened up as soon as he made it to her side, shooting him a smile he had to look away from to keep from returning.

"Nice to meet you," James mumbled, ducking his head to let his hair fall over his face. His carefully schooled expressions had relaxed while he was in Nova's company and he needed the practice now. If he let the instinct go, he wouldn't be as helpful on missions. Missions were the reason he existed. He couldn't forget that fact and had a hard time figuring out why he would have.

"Likewise," Pepper nodded at him and James stiffened a little. He'd seen Pepper with the team and knew that she was more verbose around people she liked. He couldn't blame her for her lack of enthusiasm. No one seemed overly impressed with their friendship, which was bizarre to James. He could at least accept that Pepper was worried for Nova.

"That was all very polite and forced. Hey, James, can you sit back in the chair? I have another scan I want to do before we leave. Do you want to do lunch or something, Pepper? We're going to go shopping for some clothes for James but I thought maybe you'd like to hang out," Nova offered, starting to walk backward toward the counter they were sitting at earlier. James followed, putting himself between Pepper and Nova. Not directly, but enough that he would notice a threat if one appeared and be able to block it long before Nova would be forced to react.

"What are you doing scans on?" Pepper immediately questioned as Nova grabbed the handle of a device. It was like the last one, only the electronic sensor was curved. He wondered briefly what she'd needed that for before he'd come along but pushed the thought back as irrelevant to the current situation. As soon as he was close enough, Nova handed him the device, sliding behind him easily. Pepper's face paled and James did a quick mental threat assessment.

It was common knowledge that Virginia Potts was a strong opponent. Not only was she able to wrangle Tony Stark into doing actual work but she was the acting CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Plenty smart, access to dangerous weapons, and clearance to otherwise impenetrable files, Pepper had more than enough power to make her a real threat. If Pepper asked any of the Avengers to do something for her, they all would. Because they trusted her and her leading abilities. However, it was rumored that Pepper was capable of taking care of herself. Natalia had mentioned once that she was training Pepper in self-defense and that she was proficient. High praise from Natalia.

If Pepper did become a danger or decided that she didn't like him, it wouldn't be pretty. Not that it wouldn't be easy to kill her. There were security measures set into place, but those were his specialty. Pepper Potts was bird thin and fragile. James was fairly certain just looking at the woman would break her in half. Unlike Nova, who pulled death defying stunts on a regular basis and was usually covered in some kind of oil or grease, Pepper was immaculate. Her pants suit was neatly pressed into crisp lines and her hair was curled onto the top of her head. Four inch heels decorated her feet and, if he was feeling particularly adventurous, a quick push around the right set of stairs would take care of the problems she posed for him. It could be explained away as a simple accident.

"Oh, just the prosthetic. I promise I didn't push him into it, though the pleasure of my company should be enough to convince people to do things. No, it's because the other option is Tony and I think James prefers me to Tony. No offense, I mean, you dated the guy, but he's kind of an ass. And not even when he doesn't mean to. He's an ass all the time. James has been having some pain so I'm just doing a couple scans to see what's going on. FRIDAY will give me some updates and then we'll decide from there what to do," Nova hummed as her fingers scratched against his scalp, his head unconsciously tipping back and eyes narrowing. Warmth spread through the top of his head, down his shoulders, and along his spine until he relaxed just slightly while simultaneously running a threat analysis. "There are a few options to choose from after, but I'm thinking of messaging Bruce and seeing if he'll let me poke around his lab. He's got some really specific instruments he's handmade that I think that they might be right for the job if I get to open the arm up. If not, I have to see what other tests we can do. We just wanted to get started before-"

"Nova, you're babbling again," Pepper broke in gently, voice holding no reproach. James still tilted his head back up and shot her a dark glare, comforted when she almost imperceptibly flinched.

"Yeah, sorry; I'm just excited. What are you doing here anyway? Tony's not back if that's what you're looking for. I don't think he'll be back until after New Year's. I thought you'd be gone for longer too. It's only been a little over a month," Nova informed the other woman. Her fingers started raking up his hair, the slight pull the only indicator that she was doing something different.

"I have business to attend to at SI headquarters and then I have a meeting with Maria Hill to go over her contract. There's also the issue of Tony calling and leaving twenty three voicemails demanding I come home and check on you to make sure that Sergeant Barnes didn't kill you and, I quote, 'chop you into little tiny bits and feed you to sharks'." Pepper sighed deeply, fingers forming the air quotes before she took a few steps closer and sent Nova an exasperated look.

"What? I let him know I was alive. And I doubt James would hurt me. Or kill me and feed me to fish to get rid of the body," Nova huffed, twisting his hair. A sharp pain burst along his hairline and James reached up as Nova paused, obviously unsure what he was about to do. Grabbing the piece of hair that was pulling, he carefully loosened it, his own hair soft against his human fingers. It only took a moment and Nova waited, reaching out to pat the back of his hand when he was done. Setting his hand down, James relaxed a little, thinking over what Nova said.

"I wouldn't feed you to fish," James concurred, missing the bewildered look Pepper shot him while Nova twisted an elastic around his hair to keep it in place, her work slow and gentle.

"What would you do? Be honest now; I want to know how you're planning on getting rid of my body. Give me details, my favorite assassin. Oh, and never tell Clint he's not my favorite anymore—he'll want to prove himself by fighting you and I don't have time to mourn his loss," Nova spun around the chair easily and dropped right into James' lap without a care in the world, chocolate brown eyes way too close for comfort. James wrapped an arm around her back to keep her from falling backwards, knowing that that was a very real possibility. Nova was beautiful and genius, but she didn't pay attention to her surroundings. Making sure the metal arm was in place, he kept his grip on her hip light. If he didn't pay attention, he could hurt her and that was the last thing he wanted, no matter what anyone else thought.

She was light and bony, one elbow digging into his ribs sharply as she settled into his lap. Ignoring the pain, James waited as she situated herself, also ignoring the dig of her hip into his thigh. Instead of being wary of his metal appendage, Nova just leaned back against his arm, placing her weight near his shoulders and settling with her heels propped up on the corner of the chair and her knees up. James glanced sideways at her, meeting her playful smile with a raised eyebrow before he set his human hand on her ankles in case she started to slip.

Taking a deep breath, he decided to answer her question, knowing that she was doing something mischievous but unable to make a guess as to what it was. If he played along, he would find out.

"It wouldn't be difficult. One misplaced bolt, a loose wrench, you make it too easy. The easiest way to pull that off is to claim to have no idea that it happened. If I did decide to get rid of a body from the Tower," James chose his words carefully, knowing that there was a record of all dangerous ideas in the Tower. And Pepper was standing right next to them, listening intently. But, mostly, something about thinking of a way to get rid of _Nova's_ body set his gut clenching and his teeth grinding. His left hand brushed against a dark oil spot on the back of her overalls, her warmth registering against the cold of the metal of his hand. Ignoring the sensation, James focused on the fact that she was there, safe, making stupid jokes, and asking him ridiculous questions. Just how it should be. "I wouldn't need to go far. Stark and Banner both have materials that would make it easy to dissolve a body. Once the flesh is gone, it's easier to move. No one would think twice about me leaving with a backpack."

Silence descended as James finished, both women staring at him with wide eyes. It was Nova's he was worried about. She made no move to get off his lap and just tilted her head slightly as she let it sink in.

Had he been too candid? Was she going to be afraid of him now? He'd thought about how easy it would be to kill her when they'd first met, but he hadn't thought about it in a while. Mostly because he knew how easy it would be and partly because it sent a bolt of panic straight through him to think of her in any sort of danger, especially danger that could come from him.

"Oh my Heimdall, that's completely terrifying! But kind of genius, really. No wonder you were so good, you think of everything. Though, I resent that you think I would make myself an easy target. I can fight, you know. I won against you, didn't I?" Nova tapped his nose delicately with her index fingers, smirking happily at the thought that she'd won against him. He didn't bring up the fact that she'd cheated to get him on the floor, too relieved to try and fight her. Besides, it wasn't something they'd talked about and he didn't think she'd appreciate it if he said something in front of Pepper. Not to mention he'd prefer talking to her about that moment in private, at length. Maybe in his bedroom. The room was decorated to her heart's content, he wouldn't mind trying the new quilt she'd put on the bed.

"We need tighter security," Pepper finally muttered, rubbing at her eyes like she was tired. James observed her again, carefully, and noted that it was very possible that Pepper was exhausted. Under the makeup she had applied, there were dark circles under her eyes. She'd lost a few pounds since he'd last seen her and her hair was slightly frizzy, something he usually didn't note. This time, he took notice. Sliding a careful eye over her, he realized that she was stooped just slightly, as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders.

"The ceilings," James blurted, pulling Pepper's attention to him as Nova took her device from where it sat on his lap next to her and started messing with all the buttons on it like she'd used the thing a hundred times.

"Excuse me?" Pepper blinked at him in surprise, obviously surprised he'd spoken.

"The air ducts and ceilings in general need to be maintained. Clint Barton uses them as a mode of transportation and there aren't very many security measures. What was up there is either already taken care of or would be easy to slide through. It's the perfect place to mount an attack. If someone figured it out, the Tower would be in danger." Nova would be in danger. "The lab safety protocols should go through to the ceilings, too, in case of airborne toxins and attacks."

Pepper stared at him in silence for a moment, eyes narrowed in thought. He waited, watching her just as carefully. If she decided to exploit those weaknesses, he would be the first one there to stop her. But she was also the one that was in the best place to do something about them and Nova trusted her. It was easy to see that Nova liked the woman, James wasn't going to argue the logic behind that assumption. He got the very real impression that he didn't know much about their relationship. It bothered him on a personal level that he hadn't thought to look up all of Nova's associates. He would remedy that as soon as he got a moment alone.

"That's a very good suggestion. I'll take it into account and see what I can do," Pepper nodded slightly at him, her narrowed eyes producing a few wrinkles around her eyes.

"You're going to be a pain in the ass, aren't you?" Nova asked, pushing out of his lap easily. James let her go, sure in his ability to stop her if he really wanted to. He would never want to. If she pulled away from him, he would let her go. Not because he didn't want her to stay, but because it would be best if she did walk away before she got in too deep. If she needed him, he would be there, but he wouldn't make her stay with him. "Giving away prime real estate to Pepper. You could have gotten in on my blackmailing scheme with Clint. Any time he breaks something in my ceiling, I charge him for it with interest. I could make a living off of all the things he's managed to fuck up. And I'm not just talking ceiling tiles, I'm talking experiments and data collection."

"Logically, I know you and Tony aren't related, but sometimes I still find it hard to believe you aren't his sister or an illegitimate daughter," Pepper spoke up, shaking her head plaintively. James glanced between them curiously, wondering if that was an insult or a compliment and if he should do something about it.

His question was answered as Nova laughed, face lighting up.

"Maybe I am! My sister claims she saw me the day I was born, but she might be lying. Maybe I was adopted. Do we look alike?" Nova teased, waving the device she was holding a little as she grinned. Pepper shook her head, closing her eyes for a moment as if Nova was testing her patience. James doubted she really was. The woman was around Tony Stark on a regular basis; Nova was easy to get along with compared to him.

"I think the overwhelming personality is enough proof," Pepper's lips tilted into a smile and James let the wary restlessness go.

"Okay, after this scan, we should be good to go. Pep, you going to meet us for lunch?" Nova said the first part of the sentence to him and the second part to Pepper, glancing between them expectantly.

"I can't today; I have a lunch meeting. I just wanted to come down and check on you," Pepper informed them, taking a step backward. James watched her turn to leave, preparing himself for another scan. Shoulders tight and fingers gripping his seat, he allowed Nova to start investigating his arm.


	27. The Elevator Conundrum

**Song: Home by Vitamin String Quartet**

 **Hello hello! So, apparently I need to change my schedule for updating to once a week. Because I haven't been updating on my normal schedule. Sorry. I hope everyone loves the story so far and I know you're going to love the next couple chapters because I love them. So, keep an eye out. It gets hilarious and pretty steamy soon. As always, thanks for the love and let me know what you think! Questions, comments, concerns, let me know!**

"No one is going to stop you," Nova insisted, blinking up at James as innocently as she could. Unlike James, she was inside the elevator, her back turned to the wall and watching as James wavered a step outside the doorway. It had taken a quick trip to his apartment to get him changed and she'd gotten ready in her lab, throwing on a nice sweater with a black skirt that was probably too short for winter. Still, the bright purple tights she was wearing were warm enough and it wasn't like they were dressing to impress. Besides, the tights matched her puffy coat to a tee.

"I don't know if I'm allowed out of the Tower," James informed her carefully, his expression guarded. His jaw was set tightly, muscle twitching in the corner as he fought back not-James. Every once and awhile, his fists would clench in a way that looked almost painful and his eyes would darken, his face blanking before he fought his way back.

If she could have said it without sounding patronizing, Nova would have told him how proud she was that he was able to fight to the surface. She wasn't sure what was keeping him grounded to this moment, this time, but it was strong. He was strong. She had always known that he was physically strong, but she was learning more and more how emotionally strong he was. Why no one else mentioned that to him was beyond her, but someone needed to tell him at some point. It was important that he know.

"No one is going to stop you. I promise," Nova vowed, meeting his eyes easily. If someone tried to stop him from leaving the Tower, she would beat the shit out of them and not feel bad about it later.

"You aren't cleared to be outside with me," James countered, blinking hard again to fight back whatever panic he was falling into. Nova sighed and folded herself up, sitting down on the floor of the elevator and scooting over to make room for him. This wasn't going to go well if he was in a panic for the entire trip. She trusted him to keep himself present, but he obviously didn't. And it wouldn't work well if he didn't trust himself.

"FRIDAY, don't move the elevator until I give you the okay," Nova called up, glancing idly at the ceiling.

"Of course, Dr. Maddox," FRIDAY answered, the lights in the elevator stopped blinking as Nova settled on the floor and patted the ugly grey carpet next to her. James stared down at her with a furrowed brow, his metal fingers clinking as they relaxed from a fist.

"Come on in, make yourself at home," Nova waved him closer, crossing her legs in a very unladylike pose. She pushed her skirt down so she didn't flash him and waited expectantly for him to come closer. "FRIDAY isn't going to move the elevator without me giving her permission. To hell with anyone who wants to get up here. So, you're going to come and sit in here with me to talk about this unless you want to be a prisoner in the Tower for the rest of your life. Not that you won't be given anything you could ever want or need here, but isn't that a pretty boring existence? I mean, you're a person, not a dog. You're meant to do more than just sit around and look pretty. Not that you aren't pretty, of course. But I mean, you're a person and that means you can go out when you want. Not even the Avengers are allowed to lock you away."

Slowly, James took a step into the elevator. He froze for a moment, as if it might start moving without her say so and he'd have to make a run for it. When the elevator doors stayed firmly open, he slowly lowered himself into the spot in front of her, sitting purposely between the doors so that his back was to his apartment.

"Tell me what's up, buttercup," Nova sang, tilting her head and waiting for his response. James's jaw worked for a moment before he seemed to be able to come up with words to tell her.

"I'm too dangerous to be on the streets," he finally admitted in a soft, husky voice. His wince told her more than she needed to know and Nova pulled a washer from the pocket of her jacket, twirling it around her fingers as she thought this through. James's eyes caught the movement and he observed her, eyes never leaving the peak of metal that could be seen through her fingers as she played with the washer.

"I'm not gonna say you're not dangerous, so don't think I'm stupid, okay?" Nova sighed, wishing she was better with words. Evie would know exactly what to say in a situation like this. Evie always knew what to say. And not just to Nova either, she knew what to say to anyone who was having trouble. Nova wasn't as good as she was at the comforting thing. In fact, she was terrible at it usually. It was a good thing that her presence seemed to help James or she wouldn't be much help at all. "I know you're dangerous. You can kill someone with your bare hands; not everyone can say that. Well, almost everyone in this building can, but that's not the point.

"The point is that you choose what you do with your hands. You choose if you hurt someone or if you help them. And, in case you've forgotten, you've chosen to help them. No matter who you are, you always choose to help. When you were Bucky, you chose to go to war, you followed Steve into the HYDRA facilities, and you saved lived. When you were not-James, you went after Steve when he fell from the helicarrier and you dragged him to shore. You left Natasha alive after you shot her, even though you could have killed her. And now, as James, you choose to be an Avenger. Part of the team that saves the world on a regular basis. That isn't all the Avengers do. You bring hope to people.

"Sure, some people suck, but that's humanity for you. Some people blame you for what HYDRA did. But they don't understand that it wasn't you who killed people. It was HYDRA. And you've chosen to be a good person. So keep that choice. Remember it when we're shopping, remember it when we go to Christmas, remember it when you're out with the team. Remember it whenever you need to. I don't think you'll hurt anyone. And I know no one will stop you so long as you're with me. I may not be an Avenger, but I have pull around here. And only mostly because I'm Tony's favorite pet scientist."

James reached out slowly, carefully, taking her hand in his metal one. Nova let him, tightening her hold when she was sure that it wasn't a fluke in the Matrix. James didn't tighten his hold. He held her hand like it was breakable, like she hadn't gotten it caught in a car engine once and almost broken all her fingers. Like she hadn't created explosives that could take down skyscrapers with those fingers. Maybe he didn't know. More likely, he didn't see it.

Nova didn't want him to.

She didn't want him to know that she was just as dangerous as he was, maybe more so. James hadn't chosen the hand he'd been dealt. Like she'd said, he was a good person. He would never have created high grade explosives for the military. He'd never have helped research weapons for HYDRA or SHIELD or whoever was the leader at the time she'd worked for them. He would never hurt someone who wasn't a threat. And Nova knew she'd done more than that. Her explosives were legendary. Her kill count was probably higher than his.

It hadn't been her who pulled the trigger, but her weapons were just as dangerous as Tony's. Unlike Tony, she hadn't had the chance to take it back from SHIELD. She'd worked with them because she grew up believing in the agency. She believed that SHIELD wanted to save the world. It was a crock of bullshit, a crock of bullshit her entire family had subscribed to.

Her wrongs were on her. His were on the assholes who only saw him as a weapon, who took away his free will and tried to create a perfect soldier. It was never his fault and she would never tell him it was. If anyone else tried to sell him that bullshit, she would end them. Viciously in a way that even Natasha would approve of.

It made her heart ache deeply to think that he didn't think he deserved everything he could get out of life. James deserved happiness more than almost anyone Nova knew.

"I haven't had a choice in a long time," James murmured, running his fingertips lightly over her wrist. Nova sighed a little, leaning back against the wall of the elevator and clunking her head against it. James immediately bolted to attention and even Nova admitted that it was a little painful to do, rubbing at the back of her head with her free hand.

"Listen, if you don't want to go today, we don't have to. I didn't think you'd have so much trouble with it, but we can stay here and do something else," Nova offered quickly, squeezing his hand in a way she meant as reassuring. Honestly, there was no give in the metal so she wasn't sure it got across like she wanted it to, but it made her feel a little better. It had slipped her mind that he might not want to go outside. Sure, she'd teased him earlier about being a recluse, but he had more reason than anyone to want to stay hidden in the Tower whenever he could. "I can go shopping a different day to get you some clothes. I'll warn you right away, though, my taste probably isn't the same as yours. There will definitely be Christmas sweaters. At least three. One will make you cringe because it's so hideous, don't judge. And I don't know your sizes, so I'm going to have to guess-timate."

James stayed silent for one tense second as Nova started planning. She had the next couple days off to get packed for Christmas. She'd never used those days before and didn't plan to this time, but she could take tomorrow or the next day off to try and find clothes for James. She'd have to get him sweatpants in case whatever she chose didn't fit, maybe a few different sizes to cover her bases, but she could send whatever remained back to the stores via personal assistants. Pepper always offered them up for use and Nova wasn't above having them do the work she didn't want to do. It just seemed a little impersonal to send someone else to get James his new clothing.

"Who?" James asked, his tone soft as his human fingers brushed along a vein in her wrist, tracing it up as far as he could. Nova blinked for a moment, not understanding what the hell kind of question that was. With a brief glance up when she didn't answer, James clarified before she had to ask. "Who would you go with?"

"What do you mean? I wouldn't go with anyone. I'm a big girl. Almost twenty six. Did you know my birthday is right after Christmas? Like, the day after? I was born on December 26th. My mama had to cut out of the celebration early to go have me; she wasn't too excited about that. But she did say I was the best Christmas present she's ever gotten," Nova trailed off, noticing that James was watching her with one eyebrow raised. Oh, yeah, back on topic… "Anyway, it's not like I need a chaperone. My identity wasn't compromised with the SHIELD reveal. Legacies aren't kept track of on SHIELD servers. Well, technically I was, but I deleted myself and anyone else I could as soon as the shit hit the fan. But, anyway, Legacies are kept track of on the personal server at the Dugan house. So, no worries. I can go out without security and be back before you know I'm missing."

For some reason, James didn't look the least bit comforted by that knowledge. Instead, his fingers tightened briefly on her hand before he moved and started to get up.

"Let's go. I'm ready now," James promised, pulling Nova to her feet as well. She let him, eyeing the assassin curiously. He was wearing a fairly unrumpled white shirt with long sleeves, the buttons near the collar open to reveal he had a grey undershirt underneath. A leather jacket covered his arms and leather gloves stuck out of the back pocket of the jeans he was sporting. They were still too small but god did they hug in all the right places. Nova knew she shouldn't be looking, but hot damn.

His feet were stuffed into boots that look suspiciously combat-y and she had no doubt that he was wearing weapons even if she couldn't make them out right away. It could be dangerous to have him try on clothes if he was carrying too many weapons, but she'd at least gotten him out of his apartment. She wasn't going to ruin that by asking him to put a gun away or whatever.

"Are you sure you're okay to go out? I promise it's no trouble if you want me to go shopping on my own later. I'm a master at shopping for people. My nieces and nephew love the presents I give them when I go home for vacations. Even Maggie likes the occasional souvenir I take back for her," Nova promised. She wanted to go out with him—she thought it would be fun—but she didn't want him to be uncomfortable. A little discomfort was okay, that meant healing. But a lot of discomfort meant two steps back and Nova wasn't willing to ruin his hard work just to go pick out shitty Christmas sweaters and shove him into jeans that actually fit.

"It's fine. Give the command," James demanded, sending her a bland look. With a shrug that felt a little too much like a 'what the hell' to her, Nova glanced up at the ceiling.

"You heard the man, FRIDAY. We're good to go. Take us down to the main level," Nova ordered, humming 'White Christmas' as they descended. James didn't say another word, sidling closer to her side as the doors slid open. She didn't even pause, walking out and eyeing the suits. No one was paying attention to them and Nova quickly motioned for James to follow her. Surprisingly, after a cursory glance, he did just that.

His strides were long and the gloves magically appeared on his hands, covering up the gleaming metal of his arm. One of the attendants at the front desk nodded to Nova, who waved back cheerfully, willing James not to look directly at the woman. Surprisingly, he seemed to hear her silent plea and instead focused straight ahead, stuffing his hands in his pockets like an extra layer of protection. His arm brushed against hers reassuringly as they made their way to the front doors. There were almost no customers around this early in the morning and Nova thanked all the deities she knew, sighing in relief as soon as they were out in the open.

"You know, I didn't realize how nerve-wracking it could be to walk out those doors. Aren't all the nerves supposed to be when you're walking in? I mean, it's the most intimidating piece of architecture I've ever seen and I've known Tony since I was born. I've seen potential employees wet themselves before getting past the lobby," Nova chattered as the cold really hit her, knocking the breath out of her lungs. Her fingers instantly began to freeze and she wondered suddenly when she'd gotten so stupid as to forget gloves to go shopping. New York didn't usually get quite as cold as Maine, but still. She knew better than to go out in freezing temperatures without a hat or mittens. Dragging her coat around her tighter, Nova started toward a few shops she knew he wouldn't mind. "The cold doesn't bother you, does it? Evie said once that Steve doesn't really like the cold, but no one mentioned whether it bothered you or not."

"I did a mission in January in Krasnoyarsk. Trust me, this is balmy compared to Russia in winter," James murmured, reaching out to snag her arm with his metal fingers and pull her toward him so that another pedestrian, this one a grumpy looking suit, could pass them. Nova shot him a disgruntled look while he shot her a dirty glare, obviously not impressed with her.

"Dumb ass suits. Anyone in a suit is an asshole. Tony taught me that. While in a monkey suit at his annual gala. It was actually a really great learning experience, now that I think about it," Nova hummed, surprised when James kept her close to his side, his fingers unwinding so he could press his palm against the small of her back. He wasn't leading her anywhere, wasn't pushing her toward anything, it just rested there comfortably, reminding her that he was there.

She was pretty sure that she shouldn't have liked that feeling so much.


	28. Color Palettes and Other Great Ideas

**Song: She Look So Perfect- 5 SOS**

 **So, as an actual horrible human being, I deeply apologize for not posting when I said I will! I swear I meant to! Thank you so much for keeping with this. I'm not giving up, just trying to pass college and see my family, friends, and try to study all at the same time. That's seriously hard. But I'm going to be a better person and post again soon! (I will try, I swear). Much love! (BTW, this song was thought up on the spot…)**

James watched as Nova walked in front of him, tugging at her sleeves incessantly. Her chaotic hair was down for once, the mess falling past her shoulders down toward the middle of her back. Random braids littered the mess with tools tied in. A washer behind her ear that sparkled in the dim sunlight. A piece of bent gold metal clinked near it, tied to the end of another braid. By her opposite cheek was a tiny charm that was clipped to the rubber band that held the braid together. It was a little star that winked in the light whenever she shook her head. There were more he couldn't make out at the moment, but he wanted to map them out, find reason to their existence.

They hadn't been in her hair that morning, but they were when she'd come to pick him up from his apartment. It was a good look on her, her wild waves framing her freckled face nicely. The purple of her stockings had surprised him for a moment when she'd shown up. With her tiny black skirt he had almost refused to leave the building on principle alone. He was all for equality and women's rights but the skirt she was wearing barely covered her ass, much less her legs. Guilt immediately filled him at the thought that he wasn't exactly opposed to the view, just of others who might look at her and think of harming her.

The nice sweater she was wearing was a dark grey and somehow managed to match both her skirt and her stockings well. The black shoes on her feet looked a little uncomfortable; they were over two inches high and he had a hard time deciding if they were safe. They put Nova closer to his eye level and he definitely approved of being able to look her in the eye easier. But he'd trained young girls to be spiders and heels left nasty scars on feet if left unattended. Especially if one didn't wear them often enough.

"Oh, here, this is a good place to shop," Nova turned sharply to the left, starting for the store. James didn't even think, grabbing the back of her jacket and hauling her back while he automatically sighted the tops of the skyscrapers that lined the block. To her credit, she didn't ask what he was doing, just shrugged a little and waited. There were a few good spots that he would have used if he needed to take someone out in this area, but they looked unoccupied. To be safe, he noted them in his mind, a reminder to check them again before he let Nova out of the building. The place she wanted to go into was called H&M, a place he'd never been to before.

Prodding her forward, he accepted that this wasn't going to be a calming trip. He knew Nova wasn't purposefully stressing him out, but she wasn't a soldier. She didn't look for enemies at every turn. The world wasn't hunting her.

"Okay, I know it looks a bit weird, but come on, you'll love it. They have nice sweatshirts and jeans here. You'll probably need a couple of tee shirts and stuff for casual wear. I doubt they'll have shorts or I'd try and get you into a couple pairs of those too. Some button downs would be nice, though. I'm definitely a sucker for a gorgeous guy in a button down. Oh, and some slacks for dressier affairs," Nova started, ticking off different clothing items on her fingers. James kept an eye out for danger, sticking close to Nova with a hand still pressed into the small of her back.

To anyone else, it would look like they were a couple. Nova probably assumed he was just nervous and it helped remind him he wasn't alone. The truth was that it was easier to protect her with his metal arm around her back. Any unseen attacks would have to be from behind. James wasn't sure if he was cocky or not, but he knew without a shadow of a doubt he'd notice a threat coming from a mile away if it came in front of them.

"Over here, over here," Nova practically skipped into the men's section, waves bouncing as she did. James took a moment to appreciate the fact that she hadn't had to cut it when he'd gotten his hand stuck in the waves. He definitely liked her hair. It would have been a damn shame to cut it off, especially if it was because of him. "Okay, what size are you wearing right now?"

James shrugged, honestly not knowing. The clothing he wore was usually something of Steve's. They'd shared clothes for as long as James could remember. Bucky and Steve, before he had grown into the man he was now, had shared clothing almost all the time. It was hard to afford decent clothing, so they passed things back and forth without a thought. Steve kept up the tradition now, something James was grateful for. Sometimes, it was nice to have something on him that reminded him of Steve.

"Here, turn around, I'll check you're tag. Do you want me to put your hair up? It might get a little hot with your hair down," Nova offered. James crouched in front of her, waiting as her fingers started to card through his hair. Tingles spread along his skull and down his spine, warming up his blood. Sighing silently, James fought down the urge to close his eyes, specifically when Nova scratched her nails lightly against a sensitive spot along his scalp. Staying alert was a necessity. He couldn't let anyone hurt her. "What sort of colors should I look for? I'm thinking some blue, maybe a couple reds, green if we can find a good one. Some greys are good. I like the off white you have going on today, but I'm thinking full white would wash you out."

"Black?" James didn't mean the rumble to come out as a question but his mouth betrayed him as Nova started collecting strands of his hair into her palm. Her fingers were light and steady as she swept a few stray strands back into place.

"I know how you feel about black, but there are whole color palettes out there you haven't seen yet. But, yes, we'll get you a bunch of black too if it'll make you feel better. Besides, black is a good color on you anyway," Nova admitted, tying the elastic around his hair. James felt his lips twitch, happiness bubbling up from a place long buried. Compliments from Nova meant _more_ than the idle compliments he got from his teammates.

Just the other day Clint said his right hook was killer. Considering the man had been wheezing as he spoke, hunched over and holding his stomach, James wasn't sure if it was a compliment or a warning. Natalia mentioned that his knife work was legendary and was in the process of trying to convince him to teach her. Steve was always offering him some sort of compliment, whether it was that his hair looked nice any particular day or that he was in a good mood. None of them had the same effect as Nova's admittance.

As soon as his hair was tied away he felt Nova's chilly fingers brushing the back of his neck. He fought back the instinctual response to tense and attack, his shoulders tightening as he waited for her to find what she was looking for.

"Okay, this is a XXL and it's too big. We'll check a few pants sizes. You're about Alex's size, so I can work with that to begin with. Do you see anything you think you'd wear? We're going to have to try things on to make sure they fit, but finding basic sizes will be first. Just pick something you like and we'll find a couple sizes in it so we can to see what works," Nova instructed. She turned, eyes finding something that distracted her for a moment, and James found himself reaching out, taking her hand in his human one.

The woman spun back around to face him, lips slightly parted and chocolate eyes blinking up at him. The freckles on her nose and cheeks seemed to multiply the closer he got to her and James felt the slightly compulsive urge to count them.

"I promise I won't leave your side. Come on, I think I saw something you might like."

James knew immediately that taking Nova's hand was a mistake. Not because he didn't like the slim fit of her hand folded in his or that the warmth of her skin through his thin gloves bothered him. It was that she tightened her grip and started physically dragging him through the store toward another section with one intended target. If he hadn't let her move him, she shouldn't have been able to, but James was learning more and more that the rules didn't apply to Nova. If she wanted him to move, he had no doubt she could come up with a way to get him to.

"So, what do you think?" Nova chirped happily, pulling James's attention to the redhead before him. She was pointing at a graphic tee shirt on a hanger that was right in front of them, her other hand still clutching his in a tight, reassuring grip. If it was possible to bounce in the shoes she was wearing, she was successfully doing just that.

A snort fell through his lips immediately when his eyes found the shirt she wanted him to look at. Right across the front was Steve's shield. All red, white, and blue. The rest of the shirt was a dark blue that matched the stipe around the star, not a terrible color. Some of the other Avengers and their friends had different memorabilia for each of their teammates. James had once seen Natalia in Hulk boxer shorts, Ironman socks, and a Thor tee shirt. He hadn't said a word and she'd walked by with her head held high.

"I know it's kind of cliché, but you guys are best friends. Like Evie and I. And if they had a tee shirt dedicated to Evie, I would buy it in a heartbeat, no questions asked," Nova explained, shrugging her shoulders a little awkwardly. James glanced down at the top of her head to see that her head was tilted down and she was staring at her feet, where she was adamantly trying to click the tips of her heels together.

"Do they have it in my size?" James asked after a moment of silence. Nova's head popped up and a smile bloomed across her face, warm eyes lighting up first. She dropped his hand to dig through the options and James took that distraction to look around the store. There were a few clerks wandering around and a couple on the other side of the store, arguing over a sweater that the boy in the group definitely like and the girl obviously didn't. Considering it was a women's sweater, she should have had the final say. She was shaking her head resolutely and James felt a tremor of anger run through him, the knowledge that he needed to keep an eye on that situation burning through him. If Steve was there, he would charge right over, but James was the best at waiting. Nova was his main concern at the moment, but he would keep the girl in mind. If the boy she was with tried anything, James would have no trouble ending it.

"Here we go. I'm bringing a large and an XL. There's a XXL over here too, just in case, but your shoulders aren't quite as big as Steve's, so I think you might fit comfortably in one of these. If you like this tee shirt, they have a few over there that aren't graphics. They have a lot of colors too," Nova pointed out, holding up the two shirts she'd pulled out for him to try. James nodded, glancing toward where the shirts she was talking about were. There were a few different styles and colors, something he'd never really thought about before. "Now, you desperately need jeans, dude. I know that you like to be in Steve's pants- ba dum tssss!- but you need something that fits better. I swear jeans are more comfortable when they fit right."

James lips quirked at her lame attempt at a joke, glancing back at the couple. The sweater was nowhere in sight but they were currently arguing over a skirt that was shorter than what Nova had chosen for the day. Some men….

"Okay, this is the jean section. There are a lot of choices, but remember, skinny jeans might be good for missions (and to look at) but they don't leave a lot of room for your assets," Nova stage whispered.

James slowly swiveled, brow furrowing as he observed her. She was watching him with a mischievous grin that he knew didn't bode well, but he had no idea what skinny jeans were or what his assets were in her mind. Instead of explaining, Nova pointed back to the rack of jeans and asked what color he wanted. Apparently, jeans had a plethora of different colors and actually came with holes in them now.

These kids didn't know how lucky they were. James winced as his mind slid back in time almost too easily, eyes blinking to find his ma fussing over a small hole in the knee of his jeans. The hole went straight through to his knee and she'd tsk-ed at him, snapping that he wasn't getting new pants until Christmas and he'd just have to put up with holes in his pants if he kept getting into so many scrapes. He also clearly remembered neglecting to mention the new holes in his socks.

"James?" Nova's voice broke him out of the memory and he snapped to attention, head popping up as he scanned the entire store quickly. "Hey, are you doing okay? I didn't think it was crowded, but we can go somewhere else if you'd be more comfortable."

"It's fine," James practically interrupted her, shaking his head slightly. "Just reminded me of something."

"If you're sure. So, I got a few styles with a few colors to see what you like. Do you want to run to the changing rooms now and try them on? That way we know more about what we're looking for. I should text Pepper and let her know that we're shopping. She'll have the things we buy delivered to the Tower. They'll be there before we get back," Nova informed him, throwing the jeans she'd picked out over her arm nonchalantly. James took the shirt hangers out of her hands and pressed his free hand against her back protectively.

Shielding her body from view with his own, James glanced behind them quickly. No one seemed to be paying them any mind, though another woman with two kids had made their way into the store. They were browsing while the mother attempted to keep the little boy from running off.

It wasn't until James saw the changing room that he realized why this was such a bad idea. Grabbing the hem of Nova's coat to pull her to a stop, he grit his teeth together, wishing he'd let her call off the entire thing. But, if he had stayed back, she would have been out on her own without a security detail or a friend or even a colleague to make sure she wasn't kidnapped or hurt. This was the best option for everyone.

Except that now he had to go into a changing room without her.

"What's wrong? You don't like changing rooms?" Nova guessed, meeting his eyes but not really seeing him. James could see the ideas flashing through her brain like a motion picture, being dismissed just as quickly as she tried to figure out what was bothering him. If he didn't tell her it could go on all day. And she would continue to try and figure it out without once considering that he didn't want her out of his sight when they were in a store surrounded by people who could easily be HYDRA.

"Can you… go in with me?" he forced out, keeping his voice quiet. Nova chewed on her lip as she thought this over, still obviously drawing a blank. He wanted to shake some sense into her. He wanted to brush a stray wave back behind her ear. He wanted to wipe his thumb along her bottom lip to distract her from chew through the delicious flesh there. There were far better things she could be doing with those lips.

"Sure, of course. I'm not really supposed to, but we can just say that you're a veteran who just came back from overseas and you're more comfortable if I'm with you. Good cover story? Does that live up to Natasha's expectations?" Nova teased, starting back toward the dressing rooms again.

The door was wooden and flimsy when James pushed it open. No one bothered to stop them, the store associates all busy with other work. James noted their placement, the closest one was at the furthest end of the dressing rooms, going through the clothing stacked over there. Nova headed into the room before him as he scoped the area, hanging the shirts on silver hooks and setting the jeans on her lap as she sat on the little bench that crossed the back of the little room. James scowled as he pulled the door shut, knowing it wouldn't stop an intruder. Did people really do this as often as Nova made it seem?

"Okay, what do you want to try on first?"


	29. Risky Business

**TRIGGER WARNING: I'm not sure how to say this one, so bear with me. This is a warning for abuse victims. Or people who have ever been triggered by anything concerning being thrown against a wall. Sometimes, adults have consensual relationships that include some less than gentle bits. James and Nova's relationship is a complicated thing and sometimes they indulge in more risqué relations. It's not meant as abusive behavior. No one is injured and they both have boundaries, which are totally important in any real relationship. Anyway, if these sorts of things could possibly trigger you, the end of this chapter and the beginning of the next are something to look out for. You can skip them and still have a good understanding of the situation, so don't be afraid to if you need to.**

It took every ounce of Nova's admittedly overwhelming stubbornness not to look at James while he tried on the clothing they'd picked out. It barely took any time at all to figure out that he needed extra-large shirts and that he absolutely abhorred skinny jeans. Nova had almost snorted when he glared at her as soon as he figured out what she'd meant when she suggested there wouldn't be room for his assets. Apparently, he thought assets meant weapons—It didn't.

"How about this?" Nova held up a cream sweater made of a knit weave. James already had a pile of clothes slung over his prosthetic and didn't even seem to notice the weight as he scanned the store once again for any threats. His attention seemed to keep falling back to a couple that hadn't stopped arguing since they'd come into the store. Every time the girl picked something out the boy would yell at her. The girl looked heartbreakingly young and every time Nova noticed her boyfriend yelling at her, she got the intense urge to punch the jerk in the face. It seemed that she wasn't the only one with that particular itch.

"Okay," James hadn't denied trying on anything she'd picked, even when she'd held up an Ironman shirt with Tony's arc reactor printed across the chest. His lips had pressed into a tight white line, but he'd allowed her to add it to the pile. She was so taking a picture when he tried it on. Tony would never let him live it down and neither would she.

"You know, I won't get offended if you don't like something," Nova hummed, checking out a pair of jeans that would probably look good. Her eye for fashion was definitely not something she inherited from Tony. No, that was all Maggie. Maggie, while not a complete fashionista, knew exactly what would look good on someone. She got it from their mama and Nova was always kind of in awe that she had something in common with the two most badass women in her life, even if she was the spawn of one of them.

"It's fine," James informed her robotically, his attention still going straight over her head. If she asked him, he probably wouldn't remember responding, but she simply shook her head a little and added the jeans to the pile on his arm. He absently took a step after her as she went closer to another rack with a few shirts on it that were pretty nice. They had long sleeves and came in a variety of colors. The dark red looked like it would fit him nicely. Not that there was a color he wouldn't look good in. With a jawline like that, he would look good in a burlap sack.

"These are nice and thick; I bet they'll be comfortable for Christmas. I know I told you most of this shopping was for Christmas, but you'll need clothing for all the other days of the year too. And it's not like you'll wear them once and throw them out, so I should pick things that you can wear in normal company. Not that my family's not normal," Nova paused for a moment, thinking about that. Her family literally came from an American legend and were members of a shadow organization that turned out to be a Nazi organization and now they were in hiding from the same people that her grandfather had done his best to destroy in the forties. "Okay, so maybe we're not normal, I accept that fact. In fact, I think you're probably more normal than us. You'll see what I mean when we get there."

James was about one full step behind her as she walked from rack to rack, fingering material and handing him whatever she thought would look good on him or that he might like. A bunch of thick sweaters made the lineup along with enough pairs of jeans to clothe a small army. She picked out some tee shirts he could wear when he was hanging out at the Tower and some plain white tee shirts to go under his sweaters.

"Oh, I should warn you, I have two nieces and a nephew. Which I've probably told you about before, but since you're not listening, I'm going to tell you again. Timothy's the oldest; he's ten. He's a ball of energy, that one. Thank goodness Alex adores him, I wouldn't be able to handle him on my own. Alex and Lauren love both their kids, of course they do, but Timmy takes a little more effort to keep up with. He's one hundred percent, all the time. I love him to death, but long periods of exposure limit my capacity to think. Pippa's next. She's my baby. I got to help name her. I'm also her godmother. Lauren's sister is Timmy's godmother. I was pretty disappointed, but Alex insisted I be their next baby's godmother and I wouldn't trade Pippa for the world. She's six years old now, almost seven. My little grease monkey. Pippa's the only one to even show a remote interest in tech, so we get along just fine. Lauren wants her to be a dancer, but I insist she's going to grow up like me," Nova hummed, holding out a shirt by the bottom to get a good look. It was a dark grey, but she didn't really like the pattern. It looked like something someone who wanted to be tough would dress in, not something someone who knew they were tough would pick. Dropping it, she twirled to look at another rack. "Avery is the youngest. She's Evie's favorite. Don't tell the others. Maggie made Evie Avery's godmother and they both cried. It was adorable. Avery is really shy and she probably won't talk to you. She's only three, so she usually doesn't talk much to people she doesn't know, don't take it personally. My bet is she'll stay glued to Evie, which will give Maggie a nice break to help with the festivities. Evie never turns down cuddle time with her favorite goddaughter. Pippa will probably want to talk to you; she's pretty outgoing. Timmy won't even notice you—he'll be too keyed up."

"So Timothy is like you?" Nova jumped a little when James spoke, catching her off-guard.

"Holy shit, Batman, you were listening?" Nova squeaked very unattractively. James raised an imperious eyebrow, obviously not impressed with her observation skills. Honestly, no one had ever praised her observation skills. They were passable at best and downright terrible most of the time.

"Of course," he said it like she shouldn't have doubted his attention, the slight roll of his eyes pulling a pout to her lips.

"Well you weren't responding and seemed really focused," Nova reminded him, dropping the shirt she'd been looking at to turn and face him, arms crossed on her chest and eyes narrowed in annoyance. It wasn't that him not paying attention was a problem per se. Nova had enough experience in people not listening when she talked that it wasn't much of an insult anymore. As her brother, Alex, used to say, who could listen to her all the time and stay interested?

"I can multitask. Timothy sounds like you," James pointed out again resolutely, reaching out to poke her with his human fingers. Nova swatted at him gently, starting to walk again, toward a nice little section of long sleeved tee shirts.

"No, he doesn't. Timmy is like an energy source all his own. If we could harness that, we could power all the skyscrapers in New York, I swear," Nova huffed, only partly annoyed. Warmth spread through her chest at the idea that he was still listening, even as she veered off into rant territory. Not many people could claim the same, not even her family.

"When was the last time you slept a clear eight hours?" James demanded, glaring at her menacingly. Nova wrinkled her nose, considering. It wasn't last night, that had been their eventful night of almost killing Natasha and Clint. Before that, James forced her to get a few hours in his bathtub because FRIDAY spoke out against her all-nighters, the traitor. Before that was kind of blurry. The left corner of James's lips twitched, slowly rising into an honest to god, self-satisfied smirk.

"I don't see what my sleeping patterns have to do with anything," Nova huffed, scowling at James. His smirk was far too attractive to be legal. It was the first full-out smirk Nova had seen from James and it was completely gorgeous. Plump lips twitching as he tried to hide his laughter, eyes crinkled as he gazed down at her with something akin to affection. It was a miracle they weren't being mobbed by soccer moms demanding his phone number.

"I think your nephew runs on the same mysterious substance you run on," James shrugged his human shoulder smugly, daring her to contradict him. Pressing her lips together tightly to hold down a snort of laughter, Nova fought valiantly to remain annoyed at his suggestion. Glaring up at him, she almost lost it when James winked at her, her eyes blinking hard in disbelief. Oh no he didn't! "Come on, sweetheart, you have to admit that it's a mystery how you're still standing."

"Excuse me, but I can solve that mystery easily. It's called caffeine. Coffee, tea, mochas, espresso, energy drinks, I live on the stuff!" Nova announced proudly, leading James towards the dressing rooms again while attempting to argue with him. Her lips tilted at the thought of the state-of-the-art coffee machines Tony ordered for her. He drank just as much coffee as she did and, as a result, knew that the struggle to get a good cup was definitely real. The man was a savior with his billion dollar specialty coffee machines.

"Can't believe that's good for you," James muttered, letting her lead him right back into the room they'd been using earlier. Nova shrugged a little, starting to unload the items from his arms.

"I never said it was healthy, I just said it was fact. Besides, I don't think anyone associated with the Avengers is one hundred percent healthy," Nova pointed out, hanging up a few shirts.

"Natalia," James offered, setting a pair of jeans on the bench Nova sat on.

"I would agree with you that she's physically healthy. Probably the healthiest of all of you considering what you and Steve eat on a regular basis, but she did try to cut off my arm the other day, not to mention that she told you it was fine if you killed me, so I'm going to have to go against that idea and say no, she's definitely not mentally okay," Nova reminded him, reaching out to grab another pair of jeans from James. The smirk on his lips had dropped and Nova immediately felt bad. She knew they were friends. James was the only one who was allowed to call Natasha Natalia and she was one of the few who treated him like a real person whenever she was around him. Nova might not have liked her, but she felt like a bitch projecting onto James like that.

"Natalia won't hurt you," he said it with such determination that Nova actually believed him.

"Okay, what do you want to try on first? I'm thinking a few pairs of jeans with the sweaters?" Nova tactfully (not) changed the subject, doing her best Vanna White impression by the sweaters she'd picked out. So far, she'd gotten him fairly normal ones with a few that had snowflakes, one had little holiday decorations throughout the weave. Nothing super outrageous, but they didn't actually have much for outrageous in the store. Maybe at the next store she would get him into some ugly Christmas sweaters.

Silently, James grabbed the top pair of pants and the sweater while Nova dropped onto the bench seat and checked her phone. Pepper would send a car to pick up their purchases, but she'd obviously told Tony that Nova had taken James out because there were a million messages from him. Nova clicked the first one and was glad she'd kept her phone on silent. If James had heard the amount of messages demanding she return to the Tower that she'd gotten, he would have probably hog tied her and carried her back.

A new message popped up and Nova barely bit back a groan. Who the fuck spilled the beans to Steve?

"Do they fit?" Nova tucked her phone away and looked up to see if James needed help, catching him with his shirt off. All that rippling muscle under tight skin was definitely sinful. Nova's head cocked on its own as he tossed his shirt to the side and took one off a hanger, holding it up to see what the front looked like. With both his arms out, she could see the slim dip of his waist, the dimples along each side of his spine, and a thin sprinkling of hair that ran from his belly button all the way down to disappear into the top of the jeans he was wearing.

Holy hell, he was definitely getting those jeans. They encased his ass and powerful thighs perfectly, leaving enough room for him to move if he had to. Even if Nova shouldn't be admiring him in those pants when he'd wanted her to come in here for comfort and nothing more, America deserved a chance to worship those thighs.

"They're comfortable," James answered her without even noticing her distraction, ducking his head to drag the shirt on. Nova watched the definition of his back disappear under the soft fabric, the scars and marks embedded into his skin pulling a deep sorrow from her bones. He didn't want pity, she knew that, but it still sucked and wasn't fair at all.

Focusing on the task at hand, Nova stood up and made her way up behind him. James was looking in the mirror and he turned just slightly as she approached, half his attention on what she was doing. Instead of looking at him, Nova turned a critical eye to the clothing. It was easier to be subjective when she didn't have to look into his eyes.

"It looks like the sweater fits you really well in the shoulders and you said that the extra-large seems to fit in general," Nova smoothed her hands over his shoulders and down his biceps, feeling for extra fabric and eyeing his chest, trying to measure up the fabric there as well. James's prosthetic twitched under her hands, the whirr and slight shriek of metal grinding against itself pulling a frown to Nova's lips. She'd have more time to look at that later, right now she needed to focus on what James was wearing. The sweater did fit him really well and it was a deep grey that he'd probably like. Dark colors seemed to be his preference, though he hadn't outright demanded she stop picking out other, brighter colors for him.

Taking a step back, Nova knew how she felt about those pants. Still, to be sure, she did the little trick that her mother taught her to check if pants fit and tucked a finger into the back waistband of James's jeans and tugged.

Obviously, he wasn't ready for it. He stumbled a step before spinning to face her. Nova's finger were caught in the hem and she winced a little when her arm twisted with the motion. Untangling her hand from the hem of his pants, Nova opened her mouth to explain that the jeans were a little loose around the waist and he might want to try on a smaller pair and see if they felt better, but James didn't give her any time at all to speak.

Instead, he grabbed her by the waist with equally immoveable hands, fingers pressed tightly against the skin of her hips. Being lifted literally off her damn feet, Nova squeaked in surprise, tilting forward to grip James' shoulders in an attempt to stay upright. Her body was shoved back against the wall of the building, her own slim fingers digging into his flesh as she sucked in a surprised breath.

If that wasn't the hottest damn thing that had ever happened to her…


	30. Fallen Angels

**Song: Sacrilege by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs**

 **So this chapter has not been edited because my beta seems to have pulled a disappearing act. However, it's a super fun chapter and we get to see the rest of the make out scene. I totally didn't plan to wait this long, but I had like a hundred tests leading up to finals. Funny story, I'm posting this during finals week. Oops. I apologize for the long wait and I'm super sorry if there are mistakes in this chapter. I hope everyone enjoys!**

Nova's chocolate eyes focused in on James, her pupils blowing wide as he held her up against the brick wall of the building, making sure not to accidently hit the sides of the enclosure and attract attention. Pressing closer, James closed the distance between them, pressing his own warm body into hers. Her hair tinkled as she tossed her head back, eyes never leaving him. James kept his own on her face, taking in the soft upward turn of her nose and the freckles that sprinkled the surface healthily. Dark shadows still circled her eyes, but she was alert and focused, slim fingers kneading into his shoulders insistently.

Slipping between her knees, James held her up by the press of his body, sliding one hand down to urge her legs up at the knees. She obligingly wrapped long legs around his waist, hooking her heels behind his back and letting her arms slack as she realized he wasn't about to let her fall. James wasn't sure what his original intention was, the warmth burning his gut washing away any knowledge he could have had. Thankfully, Nova took the invitation and dropped her head, lips unerringly finding his. Warm and slightly rough, she pressed against him readily. A flick of her tongue was all it took to deepen the kiss and James hummed in appreciation as her lips slid open, inviting him in.

Urged on by her willingness, James slid his prosthetic under her, using the untiring arm to hold her in place while his other hand slid up, over her hip, tracing her ribs gently. The soft material of her sweater gave under his movements and he used his flesh hand to brush his thumb along the curve of her breast, Nova's accompanying gasp was enough to have his lips curving against hers. In retaliation, her teeth dug into his bottom lip, tugging back away from him before she let go and met his eyes. The dark lust in her gaze was enough to bring him to full attention, his flesh hand sliding unerringly up the back of her sweater and the tank top underneath. Warm skin brushed his palm, smoothing and unmarred. The knobs of her spine pressed back against his fingers and James ducked his head to press his lips into her exposed neck, hips shifting when Nova let out a completely filthy moan.

"Someone's going to notice," he warned, lips brushing sensitive skin as he spoke. Nova hummed, rolling her head against the wall to meet his gentle gaze. He felt no need to quiet her pleasure. A burning warmth kindled in his stomach and he wished they were somewhere else, completely alone. Nudging the collar of her sweater away from her collarbone, James sucked in a small bit of flesh, biting it quickly. Nova's gasp of surprise was punctuated by the automatic jerk of her hips and James ground into her, licking away the pain he'd left behind, satisfied he would leave his mark on her this time around.

"Fuck 'em," Nova snapped as James ran his lips up to just below her ear, nibbling at the junction where her neck met her ear. Her head tilted to allow him better access and James huffed in annoyance when her hair got in the way. Absently, Nova reached up and brushed it back, her hand landing on the nape of James's neck to urge him on as soon as her hair was piled on the other shoulder. "Why did they make these goddamn things so big if they didn't want people to share them? Making out isn't a crime, you know. Though, it might be with you. Steve might have me arrested. If I'm arrested for sexing you up in a changing stall, will you come break me out of jail? I wouldn't do well in jail. I'm too smart."

"As long as this is my reward," James muttered, barely breaking his careful ministrations. Giving her marks where someone would see them wouldn't be a good idea, so he had to be careful as he pressed open mouthed kisses along her neck and jaw. He knew exactly how much pressure he could give without doing so, but it was a torture all its own to deny himself the pleasure. Nova's fingers tangled easily in his hair and she tugged him back to her lips, her tongue swiping his with obvious intent. James's eyes rolled back in his head when she rolled her hips against his own, tugging him in so that he could feel every movement deep in his bones. The blood that filled his brain before rushed south and James's fingers jerked, the metal tightening around her hip spastically in response. Nova let out a high pitched moan that he swallowed, his own groan of content muffled from anyone who might be listening.

"Better rewards…" Nova gasped, bracing her back against the wall and sliding her body against his wickedly. James ripped his hands away from her and slammed them into the wall at her back, his head falling to bury his head in Nova's neck. "So many better rewards for someone who breaks me out of jail."

Fisting his hands, James growled, the vibrations sliding through both of them and very sensitive parts of his body twitching. Desperately, he grabbed back onto Nova, her warm breath sliding along his ear as she ducked so that she could speak to him there, her other hand coming up to trace the shell of his left ear enticingly.

"Wouldn't it be fun? I have a thing for guys in uniforms. Will you wear your uniform when you come get me?" Nova asked, her voice silky smooth and deeper than he'd heard it since the first day he'd gone to see her, when she'd been asking him questions and was teasing him. Now, the teasing had him wishing he could rip into her clothing. The sweater was a good quality and he wouldn't rip it if she liked it. The skirt would be easy to get out of the way. Simply lifting it up would do. Keeping clothing on wasn't usually a problem for James, but he wanted to see her. God, he wanted to see her naked, in her full glory. Preferably immediately.

"I'll wear whatever you want me to wear," James murmured huskily, flesh thumb sliding up to brush along her breast and slide along a bare nipple. Her answering hum of appreciation almost matched his own guttural groan at the idea that she wasn't even wearing a bra.

The question of underwear flitters through his mind and James was intent on figuring out the answer as his metal hand shifted, rucking her skirt up until just her tights stood between him and her thighs. Nova slid her hand that was in his hair down the back of his neck and into the hem of his shirt, fingers splaying on the muscles of his back and blunt nails digging in. James focused not to tighten his grip anymore, not wanting to hurt the woman in his arms. He wanted the exact opposite of that. The only thing that would satisfy him was her screaming his name in pleasure. And once might not be enough.

"If you're going to feel me up, your sweater needs to be gone. Like, now," Nova groaned, clutching at the dark material and tugging gently. James pinned her to the wall with his hips, her startled gasp of breath dragging her against him in the best possible way. He made quick work of the sweater, throwing it in the pile that he accepted. If the outfit got him in this situation, it was good in his book. "Is that confirmation that you're trying to feel me up or just an enthusiastic response to my presence? Because I'm not having sex in a dingy store changing room. No matter how tempting your chest is. Seriously, do you work out for aesthetic?"

"I work out just for your viewing pleasure," James murmured, his hands finding purchase again. He cupped her breast over the material of her sweater, taking her announcement in stride. No sex left many interesting options and James was willing to try all of them so long as she approved.

"You're very talkative when I let you have your way with me," Nova leaned into him as he pressed his lips to hers in a kiss that bordered rough, his lips pressing into hers at a bruising rate. He wanted everyone who saw them together to know what they'd been doing. No one would look twice at her, he would make sure of it.

"Do you talk like this during sex?" James demanded, pulling back to meet her eyes. Her pupils were completely blown and her hair was sticking up around her head chaotically. Her eyelashes fluttered for a moment, eyes half lidded as she thought that question through. Her lips were plump and pink from his ministrations, her cheeks flushed red from exertion. All in all, she look completely debauched and James tensed rapidly as his erection swelled at the sight. This was a side of Nova he hadn't seen before and he wanted more.

"Yes, yes I do," Nova pronounced proudly, nodding slight to affirm her statement.

Before she could go on, James pressed his lips into hers, drinking in the flavor of stale coffee and something that resembled chocolate. Warm fingers tentatively starting running along his chest, her hands exploring while James held her still, no longer fighting for control. Letting her move at her own pace, he did little more than tilt her head back for a better angle, letting her slim hands slide along his pecs to his abdomen. Her nails scratched lightly at the ridges and plains of his stomach, the full body breath she took denoting her pleasure at the feeling. She dragged a fingernail around his belly button and let it fall down to the top of his jeans.

"Fuck," James tugged away to curse, his hips jerking again. If Nova wasn't careful, he would cum in his pants like a horny teenager. Which would be particularly embarrassing considering they weren't even his pants. Buying already destroyed pants seemed like it would be considered improper. Not to mention how awkward it would be to explain to whoever was selling them.

"Mmm, too much for you, Soldier?" Nova teased innocently, raising one perfect eyebrow. The Asset, deep in the depths of James mind, jumped to the forefront at the nickname, James having no time to press back the urge.

Calculations ran through his mind and he knew exactly what to do to have her begging for more. It would be so simple, so easy, so deliciously enjoyable that the Asset continued without the usual amount of disgust. He decided on a reasonable course of action and he set Nova down before she could protest, tugging at the purple tights on her legs to get them off.

"Hey, I said no sex," Nova reminded him, batting his hands away. The Asset frowned, not liking the mission change in the middle of maneuvers. Her pleasure was important. More important than his. For a moment, the Asset just stared at her, unsure how to respond. "Hey, you okay?"

"The mission-" the Asset started, ready to repeat the parameters as he understood them. It was only an impression on his mind, but the Asset could figure out the details. The pleasure of the woman before him was his prime directive, everything else came second. Later, their own pleasure would come into play. Usually he tried to block out any mission like this, but this one was different from others. Besides the comforting warmth of her body against his and the concerned light that entered the warmth of her chocolate eyes as soon as his mouth opened, the woman before him was enjoyable and seemingly cared about him, something he hadn't had to consider before.

"Whoa there, buddy. You could have given me a warning that you were having a moment," the woman took a deep breath and the Asset watched her smooth her hands over her hair, her skirt rucked up to her hips and her shirt showing a slice of her pale, perfect stomach, temptation in its finest form.

Absently, the Asset reached out and pulled her skirt back into its proper place, straightening her sweater much to his target's surprise. Her kiss bruised lips pursed as he eyed her carefully, ensuring she was presentable to human society. Not that he wanted to take her out into the human world. Others would see her and it was against his directive. Her pleasure was his forefront directive of the moment, but his second directive was to ensure her safety. The world wasn't a safe place. And he preferred she be back in the white lab, hidden away.

"Okay, so, you're obviously not Bucky. I feel like he would ask a lady before trying to get her naked. So you must be not-James. Which, James doesn't like your name, but it's better than what he calls you, don't you think?" Nova hummed, reaching up and pushing the Asset's hair out of his eyes. He hadn't even noticed it and imperceptibly flinched when she raised her hand. Hands were for hitting. The Asset was a weapon and weapons weren't supposed to feel pain. That was what the other had told him. Since he wasn't supposed to feel pain, they did as they wanted. This woman seemed different. The Asset determined that he liked different.

"My designation is the Asset," he informed her, watching carefully for signs of displeasure. Her lips curved into a frown and his attention zoomed in on it as his mind raced for a possible ratification he could make to the statement. He didn't have a name. Names were for people, not weapons. His designation made his handlers happy on a regular basis. They preferred he did not designate himself.

"Yeah, we're going to have to work on that. Everyone deserves a name. And most people have three names anyway, so it's not really that weird, right? As long as I can keep you straight, that's all that matters. Well, Steve should learn too, but he's not really around at the moment. I don't think you talk to anyone else. Pepper today, but that's different. She's not around much," Nova informed him, mumbling as she turned to pick something up. The Asset accepted it when she handed it to him, surprised to see that it was a regular shirt. "Since James checked out and you checked in, why don't we finish trying on clothes? I assume you have more in common than Bucky and James, mostly because he likes dark colors and so do you."

The Asset shrugged and pulled the shirt she'd handed him on over his head. The shoulders were too tight to properly move in and she agreed as soon as he voiced the review, handing him a new shirt and another pair of pants. She turned away when he changed and he eyed her back curiously for a moment. No one bothered to turn away when he changed clothes. His handlers claimed it wasn't necessary. This had left him with very little thought to changing in front of other people.

Now that he was looking at Nova's back, he decided that he wouldn't mind her watching him change clothing.

Quickly switching clothes, the Asset cleared his throat to get Nova's attention. She turned around as soon as she heard him and eyed the clothes. He let her fuss about, checking the clothing for fit and trying to decide if the pants were too tight. When the Asset finally agreed that he didn't like them, she sighed in what looked like relief before handing him another set of clothing to try on. It reminded him of dressing for a mission and he wondered just what mission he was dressing for. Her pleasure? To keep her safe? There was no mission directive on changing clothes. Instead of arguing, though, the Asset simply did as she wished.

It took a while to get through all the clothing piled on the bench seat, but Nova was patient. The Asset made sure that he was quick, accepting Nova's praise and allowing her to fit him with whatever she desired. He rarely argued if she expressed her interest in a certain piece of clothing unless it was completely impractical. Most of the clothing she enjoyed, he approved of. Most of the pieces were close fitting enough to be helpful in battle with enough room to hide his weapons. He didn't mention the knife hidden in his boot or the gun he'd managed to slip out of sight into the pile of his normal clothing, instead let her think they were completely unarmed. Going unarmed was against protocols and his mission was focused on her. Bringing her pleasure only went so far.

"So, I was planning on getting more shopping done, but I think we have a pretty good supply of clothes for you if you want to be done. Since you're all not-James-y now, I mean. Not that I don't like hanging out with your or anything. I just don't want an incident. The kind with a capital I and murder," Nova huffed, starting to fold clothes almost compulsively. The Asset cocked his head to figure out her mental state, observing carefully. Her hands were steady, her movements confident. Yanking his shirt back over his head and tucking the gun back into the holster at the small of his back, the Asset decided humoring her was best.

"I am fine. We should continue."

Nova turned as if to go and the Asset went to follow her, stopping almost immediately when Nova froze. He followed her eye line to see that a young girl was trying to get away from a young man who was holding her arm in a bruising grip. There were tears in her blue eyes and she was telling him that she didn't want to be together anymore.

The Asset had no time to warn Nova not to go over to the scene because she had moved before he could warn her of the impending danger, shoulders squared and anger mounting. The Asset took off after her, a deft hand checking weapons. He had a gun the holster on the back of his pants by the small of his back, a holster he'd expertly hidden from Nova. He had a two knives in his boots and he dropped to grab them while still moving, intent on getting to Nova before anyone could hurt her.

"Let her go," Nova demanded, walking right up to the arguing couple. Silence reigned for a moment and the Asset could feel everyone turning to look at them, his eyes automatically seeking out Nova. Standing there, in the middle of a clothing store with her hair in a firestorm around her, she looked like a Fury of old. Her dark eyes glinted dangerously when the boy didn't do as she said immediately. On closer inspection, the Asset aged him at about twenty two while the girl he was trying to drag around was only sixteen, maybe seventeen at the latest. The boy just looked younger and used it to make their relationship look authentic.

"Back off, lady," the boy spit, tugging on the girl's arm again. The Asset considered his options. If he jumped into the fight, it would become a problem. Nova wouldn't be happy if he killed the boy. Well, on principle she wouldn't be. Generally, she probably wouldn't care too much about a guy who preyed on young girls. But someone might recognize him and that was the last thing he needed. But he didn't want Nova to be doing this alone in case there was more to this boy than he thought and he hurt her.

"You back off. Let her go or I will make you," Nova demanded, voice dropping an octave and frozen enough that the Asset almost shivered. He had only heard that tone from the higher up officials in the organization.

"Like you can make me. Nice try, but I don't think so. My girl needs to come with me, so you can just back the fuck off with your little hobo friend there and I'll do whatever the fuck I—" the words from the boy's throat cut off in a sharp cry. If the Asset hadn't been watching carefully, he'd have missed the entire exchange as Nova's hand had snapped out faster than any normal person would notice, palm slamming into the guy's wrist before her other hand joined and yanked his finger back hard enough to snap the bone. The two audible cracks were the only notion that something had happened besides the boy that was on the ground, holding his wrist and crying as though Nova had almost killed him.

"Are you okay? Do you need a ride home or something?" Nova was already talking to the young girl, who was staring at her in equal parts awe and fear. The Asset knew for a fact that Nova went too easy on the boy and slinked over without Nova noticing to crouch down near the boy who was holding his wrist.

He smelled like he was in need of a shower, the scent of body odor stinging the Asset's nose. He also smelled like another girl's perfume and the Asset wondered how many he was dating at a time. It didn't matter. The Asset knew more about this boy than anyone else in his life in just one look. He was trained for that.

"You will not lay hands on another girl again," the Asset informed the boy, meeting his eyes coldly. The boy sniffled some snot and wiped a trail of tears away with his other sleeve, hazel eyes filled with fear and something akin to hatred. It wasn't for the Asset. Killing this boy now would be the smart thing to do. But not here, not after Nova broke him. No, he could finish the job later, privately. She would never need to know what sort of monster he really was.

"Fuck off," the boy snapped, his chin wobbling.

The Asset nodded slightly, glanced over to see that Nova was helping the girl call her parents on her own cellphone. Satisfied that she was properly distracted and wouldn't notice, the Asset slipped one of his knives into his palm visibly. The boy noticed, horror on his face as the Asset flipped the shiny metal and stabbed it violently into the carpet maybe an inch from the boy's leg. The small whimper he let out was accompanied by the growing scent of urine. The boy had wet himself.

"You will not lay hands on another girl ever again. Should you think of it, I will hunt you down. You do not want to see me again. You won't survive that encounter," the Asset informed the child, leaning in close to let him see the seriousness in his eyes. Their next encounter would be a lot closer than the boy would think, but one fact remained. The boy wouldn't survive it.

Yanking his knife out of the carpet, the Asset slid both knives back into his boots. Even if he did need to kill the boy today, it wouldn't require anything but his hands. The kid wasn't trained in the least and the Asset was a professional. A fall down the stairs could have broken his neck, so what if he got into an argument with his girlfriend just moments before? She was in the store, waiting for her parents when it happened. Perfect alibi for a crime she wouldn't have committed. And no one would question the Asset because he would be gone before they could.

"Um, I just… I wanted to say thank you," a small voice peeped up from behind him. The Asset turned to see the young girl had accompanied Nova over to him, still a few steps away as if Nova was making sure not to startle him. Her blonde hair was a little stringy and her smile a little wary, but she wasn't dangerous in any way. "I was trying to break up with him and he wouldn't take no for an answer. I didn't know what to do and you two helped me. So, thank you."

"You're welcome," the Asset robotically replied, nodding slightly to acknowledge her thanks.

"He's one of those people that doesn't say much, but really, he means it. We both have a bad habit of sticking our noses where they don't belong. But I'm glad you're safe now. Just remember not to talk to him anymore, okay?" Nova offered, petting a hand down the stringy blonde hair of the young girl beside her.

"I promise. When we started seeing one another, he was different," the girl shivered and Nova gave her a light hug before smiling.

"Me and my friend best be off, but you're safe now," Nova informed her certainly. With a wave, Nova reached out to loop her arm through the Asset's and he let her lead him out of the store.


	31. Just One Day

**Song: It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas- Michael Buble**

 **Hey everyone! I'm actually on time this time around! Again, sorry for any errors! I hope everyone enjoys this one. Not-James is definitely one of my favorite characters. I hope everyone is ready for Christmas! I can't wait! Merry Christmas (or Happy Hanukah or Joyous Kwanzaa or any other holiday I'm missing)! Hope everyone was awesome holidays!**

"Oh my god, we're definitely getting that one. No doubt about it. Throw it in the cart," Nova demanded, making grabby hands at the sweatshirt not-James had held up to show her. It had a gaudy snowman plastered across the front in what looked like blue tinfoil and Christmas lights that actually lit up.

It turned out that not-James was a fucking awesome shopping partner, all violent outbreaks of Nova's aside. He had eyed her for a moment in the last store they'd been in and starting picking out outfits in her size for Christmas. When she'd explained to him why they were shopping, he'd immediately picked up on her enthusiasm and easily helped her find things that made her laugh. She'd bought more for herself than she'd originally anticipated as well as more than a few outfits for James. And not-James and Bucky, should they need specific outfits. Not-James tended toward dark clothing, but he didn't argue if she threw in some color. In fact, he didn't argue with her on anything. It was kind of sad, but Nova still used it a little to make sure that Bucky got some clothing he'd like. It was hard to pick out for Bucky because Nova had only met him a handful of times, but she thought his tastes were definitely colorful.

"You?" he asked immediately, starting to search sizes. Nova snorted.

"Nope, hunky and deadly, that one is for you," Nova informed him, smiling at her own joke. "There's this contest thing we do every year at my house for Christmas. It's an ugly sweater contest, so we need the most over the top sweaters to try and win the prizes. The prizes are actually pretty awesome. Grandpa Dugan supplies them and he goes all out. Gift cards, weapons, explosives! Maggie won a newly released Kevlar vest two years ago. Before they even came out on the market!"

"You said you need presents. For friends," not-James offered as soon as she was done speaking. Nova made her away around as not-James's attention stayed completely focused on the thing in front of him. Slipping around the cart she was using, Nova stared at the little collections of Avengers action figures. They were cute and Nova cooed at them, wanting her own set. Too bad Christmas was coming up. Buying herself clothing was one thing, her family wouldn't buy her something as boring as clothing. No, they would want to get her things she'd enjoy. Avengers collections being one of those things.

"Yes, that is one of the things I went shopping for. See, Christmas is a Christian holiday, which is about the birth of Christ. Jesus Christ is the son of God but not the son of God because he is revered as God himself in human form… it's confusing. Anyway, the early Christian's were persecuted for celebrating their religious holidays, so they changed the day of Christ's birth to coincide with the Winter Equinox. The pagans would celebrate with trees, pine, things like that. Some of their traditions are still held through to today.

"Christ's birthday was in the spring in all reality, but the tradition stands. Besides, I love winter Christmas. There's snow, hot cocoa, ugly sweaters, and spiked eggnog. What's not to like? And the presents, holy presents! The present giving thing has to do with the Three Wise Men who gave baby Jesus gifts after he was born. They were guided by the North Star to find baby Jesus to give him his presents. And so we give each other presents in remembrance to that. Personally, I think it's for more selfish reasons, but I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, you know?" Nova trailed off, knowing it would take far too long to explain to not-James the religious aspects of the seasons. She wasn't even done with Christmas and there was still Kwanza, Hanukkah, not to mention New Years.

"You get gifts for everyone?" not-James demanded, his growl of a voice hushing as a group of teenage girls passed them by, tittering as the object of their affection completely missed the gesture. Nova would have felt a little bad for them if they weren't trying to get the attentions of literally the most dangerous man in history. And this wasn't James with some of his memories from each lifetime, this wasn't Bucky who was just a regular guy before the war. No, this was not-James, trained to kill or be killed. If he deemed anyone a threat, they were in trouble. Thankfully, all threat-like obstacles had been easily maneuverable and not-James stuck to Nova's side like glue. Normally, it might smother her a little, but this time she didn't want him out of sight. If something really did happen that Pepper wouldn't approve of, Nova wanted to be able to say that it wasn't their fault.

"Depends on what you mean by everyone, I guess. I get for my family which would be: Grandpa Dugan, Mama, Pop, Alex, Lauren, Jas, Maggie, Tommy, Pippa, and Avery. I always get something for Elise and Evie too, they're basically sisters to all of us. I'll get something for Sharon, she's a Legacy and going to show up for Christmas, I'm sure. I'll get something for you, Steve, Natasha, Clint, and Tony along with whoever else shows up for Christmas. Pepper and I have an arrangement. Within the month after Christmas, we go away for a week at a spa to be pampered. She pays for it all and, in return, I do whatever she wants with her. Usually she can't find minions who are willing to do an awkward couples massage with their boss, so she takes me. It's not romantic, she just doesn't like to be in there alone," Nova informed him, wondering for a moment if she should have kept that story for James. She didn't want not-James knowing too many secrets about her friends in case he did decide that his mission involved hurting someone. For now, the mission seemed to be keeping her entertained.

"That's a lot of people," not-James observed, slipping the little dolls they were looking at into the cart. Nova didn't bother to argue, wondering who he was getting them for. Steve? That seemed like the most likely option. Natasha probably wouldn't be amused and Nova did not want to be on the receiving end of that particular hate fueled fight.

"I like giving presents. It reminds people I love them. Plus, I get to see their faces when they open it. Like, for Christmas this year, I made Tommy a little bot. It's just a really simple one, can fly but has no learning curve, so it won't outsmart him and he'd been wanting one for ages. Ever since Tony mentioned that JARVIS was officially uploaded into Vision," Nova explained, her fingers curving to show him about how big the bot was and the round shape. "He's going to be ecstatic when he gets it. I can't wait to see his reaction."

"So it's about the reactions?" not-James demanded, a wrinkle appearing between his eyebrows. His attention had curved to a tiny replica of Steve's shield that was actually a Frisbee.

"Partly, I guess. That's part of the fun. It's more fun when there are kids around. Because the kids get super excited for presents. I'm not much better, but I'm more excited to see people open the presents I give them than getting my own. Though, I do get pretty awesome gifts every year. Tony's the most extravagant gift giver. He got me a car for my sixteenth birthday. My parents tried to get him to take it back but he wouldn't. So that's how I got my own car before any of my siblings. They all got theirs for graduation," Nova explained, picking up a Steve plushy. Eyeing the price tag, she got an idea. A terrible, awesome idea. "I know what I'm getting everyone for Christmas!"

"What?" not-James demanded, his eyes flicking to the plushy and back to Nova in a moment, trying to figure out what had her excited.

"We're going to have to stop on the way to Christmas, though. No more time today. We already have enough clothing and we have to get back soon or Tony's going to flip his shit," Nova explained, eyeing the cart in front of them. "I just have to pick up Maggie's present. I have Mama, Pop, and the boys' at home in the lab. I think I'll give Avery my master plan too and Pippa gets a bot. It's not fair to give one sibling a bot and not the other, that's asking for trouble."

It didn't take them long to pay for their purchases. Not-James insisted on paying for some of the pile and Nova let him. He pulled money out of nowhere and Nova saw a flash of a card that clearly had the name Steve Rogers on it before he slid it through the card reader. She figured it was better not to ask questions, especially when he signed it in a perfect imitation of Steve's signature. Really, the guy was terrifying when he wanted to be. So why was Nova stifling a laugh as she paid for her own things?

On the way back to the Tower, Nova chattered about what he could expect for Christmas and explained that her family was ex-military and he shouldn't attack them if he woke up while they were there. She didn't want to mention SHIELD in front of the super assassin, but she got the feeling he understood the hidden context. He grumbled when she reminded him once again not to attack them, but she took it as an affirmative. If he did attack, she had a feeling that her mama could take him out if she had to. And if Mama couldn't, well, there were about ten more agents where that came from.

"Okay, you have to pretend to not be an experienced killer. Pepper will give me a stern talking to if she finds out I took you out on a walk without proper precautions. It's like having a kitten mad at you when Pepper gets upset. Not to mention she'll probably tell Tony and then Tony will yell at me and then Mama will find out and I can't handle a lecture from my mom," Nova begged, linking an arm through not-James'. He glanced down at her with a raised eyebrow, reminding her that she was on the side of his prosthetic, but he did nothing but shake his head a little. In each hand he at least six bags from the last store they'd gone to, but he had insisted she not drag around her own shopping. She'd tried to get him to just leave the stuff so one of Tony's drivers could pick it up, but he'd been insistent that he couldn't let it out of his sight. After one minute of non-argument, Nova had given in.

It could have been worse. He could have done that at every store.

Silence descended as they made their way through the lobby of Stark Tower. Some of the suits gave them odd looks but no one stopped them when they went straight to the elevator. Happy was at the security stop and Nova grinned at him as soon as they made it.

"Hey, Happy. How's life? I thought you were in Malibu with Tony?" Nova teased, excited to see the other man. He'd been with Tony almost as long as Pepper and Nova had known him for more than half her life. If Happy didn't have his own family, Nova would invite him to their family Christmas. As it was, he had an open invitation in case he ever needed it.

"Life's pretty good, Dr. Maddox," he smiled back at her, nodding to not-James cordially. Ever since Nova had finished her degree, he'd made it a point to call her Dr. Maddox instead of her first name. He insisted it was because he was so proud of her and she believed him. Happy wasn't old enough to be her father, but he was old enough for her to call him Uncle Happy when she'd first met him. Tony had gotten a kick out of it and Happy had gotten a raise just for being her favorite driver. It was the start of a beautiful friendship. "I was in Malibu, but my wife wanted me home for Christmas."

"Of course she did. I forget sometimes what day it is. We should have lunch sometime, after Christmas. I have to leave in a couple days, but I totally want to see you," Nova demanded, bouncing on her heels. Not-James' arm shook with her, but he didn't try to knock her off. Which was probably as good as she was going to get from him.

"Definitely, Dr. Maddox. I would go upstairs if I were you. Ms. Potts is waiting," Happy reminded her, motioning to the elevator. Nova wrinkled her nose, spinning to look at not-James. He was watching the suits, eyes flickering from this person to that, searching for threats.

"Okay, if you insist. I'll see you later, hope you have a great Christmas!" Nova waved as she started dragging not-James to the elevator. He let her, checking the inside before letting her go in. She let him, impatient to get up and start going through the clothes that they'd bought. Packing was going to be a pain in the ass, but it was essential. Her family only had her old high school clothes left and she'd grown after high school. Mostly because she graduated at fifteen, but she'd grown an inch when she was nineteen.

"Dr. Maddox, I have strict instructions to take you to the penthouse," FRIDAY's voice broke over the speakers and Nova snarled.

"Are you fucking kidding me? It was one day! It's not like we robbed a bank and stole a car. All we did was shop. Why is everyone so crazy? Can I override this order?" Nova demanded, glaring up at the ceiling like it had personally offended her. JARVIS would let her override orders, but FRIDAY's programming, while monumental, wasn't as sophisticated. Sometimes, that fact ruined Nova's life.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Maddox. The order cannot be recanted," FRIDAY informed them. Nova huffed out an angry breath, hoping Pepper would field any angry phone calls. Nova had her own abilities when it came to working with Tony, but she was better at riling him up than she was at getting him calm. That was why Pepper was one of her favorite people. Pepper was one of the only ones who could actively calm him down and reroute his anger into something that might, one day, become helpful.

"This is going to suck. Best behavior, not-James. If we piss Pepper off, we're grounded," Nova informed her partner in crime, resting her head against his shoulder. It was incredibly hard against her temple, but she ignored the pain, slumping a little against him. Shopping had taken a lot of energy and she hadn't had a good five hours of sleep in over a week. Maybe two.

"Mission parameters don't include meeting others," not-James informed her. When Nova rolled her head back to look up at him, he met her gaze with very serious grey-blue eyes. The laugh lines around his eyes deepened a little as the wrinkle between his eyebrows appeared.

"Let me do most of the talking. Pepper will listen to me. Hopefully," Nova offered, patting his arm comfortingly. Not-James nodded slightly, the plates in his arm whirring and clicking. A single shriek of displeasure ran through the arm and Nova jumped, her attention diverted from the door of the elevator as her startled gaze met James'. He rapidly tensed at the sound, though Nova knew it probably had more to do with the pain that would come from such a malfunction. Instead of cussing him out for not telling her about the pain, Nova hoped that the various tests she'd done earlier would tell her something that would help her fix it.

The elevator doors slid open just as she opened her mouth to comment, her attention diverted for the time being to the congregation outside the door. Standing, waiting for them to arrive, were far more people than just Pepper.

Instead, Tony and Steve stood waiting, Evie's wide eyes taking in their position with a small, welcoming smile.

"Oh shit."


	32. Season's Greetings

**Here's your holiday present! Another chapter! I hope everyone had a great Christmas and are having great holidays! The highlight of my Christmas was a Toothless Build-A-Bear from my brother and a full sized Captain America Shield from my parents. You think if I throw it, it'll boomerang back like Cap's shield? Happy Holidays everyone!**

"Damn straight, where the hell were you?" Tony Stark's voice snapped and the Asset very openly snarled at the man who dared swear in front of Nova. Instead of hollering back at him, the woman ducked behind the Asset, using his body as a shield against her friends. His chest puffed up as he dropped their bags, careful not to break any of the purchases as he squared off against the men who had been waiting for them. They weren't getting to Nova, not when his mission revolved around her.

"Um, in my lab?" Nova squeaked, peeking out over his shoulder. The Asset reached back slowly, bracketing her in so she wouldn't try to go around him. He knew her sights were set on getting to the small woman who was just behind the Asset's failed mission. She was important to Nova and the Asset noted that she wasn't dangerous. In fact, she was injured.

One of the small woman's arms was in a sling and she was leaning heavily on one leg. All it would take was one good push to send the woman to the floor, but the Asset didn't let the thought run away from him. It was obvious the woman was important to Nova and he made the decision not to hurt her, turning his attention to the failed mission and the other man with him, the one who had so rudely demanded where they were. As if he deserved to know.

"Don't even try to lie to me, I checked your lab first," Tony Stark huffed, shooting a dangerous glare at Nova. The Asset stepped between her and the glare, meeting Tony Stark's anger with his own stubborn resolve. Thin fingers brushed against the back of his neck when Nova curled her fingers around the collar of his leather jacket. The Asset didn't bother shaking her off, preferring the comfort of having her close to him. It was easier to face off her enemies if she was within sight.

"Well, see, James needed clothes for Christmas, so we had to go shopping. And I let Pepper know where we were. We needed someone to bring our bags back so we didn't have to carry them everywhere," Nova explained slowly, peeking over his shoulder again. The Asset stayed rigid, waiting for an attack. The man, his failed mission by the name of Steve, stared at him, blue eyes never leaving him as he observed.

"You let her know where you were after you left each store," Stark complained, hands on his hips.

"Will you let them at least get out of the elevator?" a familiar voice demanded. The Asset's attention swung to the only spider in the room, her red hair standing out against the dark décor. She met his gaze unflinchingly, saluting him with a glass of vodka. The spider only drank top shelf vodka from her homeland. The Asset had made sure she knew the difference. The only one of his spiders to survive the Red Room, her abilities were the only ones in the room that mattered. She was the only one who could conceivably beat him in a fight.

His distraction caused him dearly as Nova took it as permission and bolted around him. The Asset reached out with one hand, intent on capturing her while his other hand found his hunting knife. Before he could grab her, she had managed to collide with the much smaller woman in the room. They tumbled to the ground in a flurry of tinkling curls.

"Evie! Oh my Heimdall, I thought you weren't coming home until Christmas!" Nova cried, clinging to her friend. The failed mission stepped over to pull Nova off, but the Asset beat him there, crouching near the women and snarling wordlessly, his knife up offensively. The blade slid close enough to his palm to almost cut into the flesh, but the other man flinched back. The mission's hands went up in a placating gesture, his eyes flickering behind the Asset. A quick glance showed that the shield was against the wall near a pile of luggage, propped up and waiting for use. The Asset narrowed his eyes and brought them back to the mission, a clear warning not to go for the weapon.

"Holy crap, Nova, I don't need crushed ribs to go with all my other injuries," the woman, Evangeline his brain supplied, answered, pushing Nova back gently and pushing into a sitting position. The Asset let her be, moving the knife as Nova sat up as well, still practically in her friend's lap.

"But then you'd remember me for weeks to come. You know, while you're off, globetrotting with the uglier forties twin," Nova motioned to the failed mission, who winced like the sentence was a physical blow. The Asset waited quietly, crouched near the women while Nova and her friend talked. The failed mission would protect the other woman. The Asset's only mission was Nova.

"He's not uglier! If anything, they're the same amount of mouthwatering!" Evangeline laughed, throwing her arms around Nova again. The Asset tensed, as did everyone else in the room.

"Uh, Nova Scotia, did you take the Winter Soldier out for a walk?" Stark's voice broke into the greetings the women were exchanging and Nova looked up, finally noticing the Asset's presence. She met his gaze and noticed his position, her eyes sliding to the knife in his hand. The flat of the knife was against his forearm in a resting position, his eyes flickering between the other occupants of the room while he tried to figure out just who was dangerous and who wasn't.

Evangeline noticed too, but didn't say anything, instead sending the Asset a cautious smile. The Asset nodded to her. Evangeline seemed to bring a smile to Nova's lips and that was all that really mattered in his mind. So Evangeline's name slipped off the potential target list that he was compiling in his mind.

He was forced to drop the knife when Nova tipped into his body, falling off of Evangeline's lap and trusting him to catch her.

"I would never do such a thing!" she cried dramatically, her red-orange hair in his face. He spit out a few stray strands, smoothing out the wild waves with his human hand to free his vision. The knife was gone and he shot a dark look around the room, noticing that the spider had it in the corner of the room, flipping the blade between her fingers deftly. "I took James out for a walk, but he got tired in the dressing room. I'm much too much for him to handle. So then not-James took his place and we had a fun day. No one died, we didn't blow up any buildings, and I got Elise's Christmas present."

"Not-James?" the failed mission demanded at the same time as Evangeline perked up, "What did you get her?"

The couple shared a look that the Asset didn't bother to read as he set Nova upright, careful to keep his hand away from her hair. The first time he had done a spider's hair he had gotten his metal hand stuck in her curls. He didn't want to repeat the event as his handlers had not taken well to the news that they had to cut the young girl's hair. He would never put his new mission in the same sort of danger.

"Yeah, not-James," Nova nodded at the failed mission, shrugging her shoulders when he shot her a dangerous look. The Asset hovered nearby, twitching for his gun. "And I'm totally not telling you what I got her. It would ruin the surprise if I spilled the beans. I can promise you that we didn't get her the same thing, though. So don't worry about it too much."

"You should have called us when he went Winter Soldier. Actually, you shouldn't have taken him out of the damn Tower to begin with. Are you stupid? Because I had you tested and you have a genius IQ. Not as high as mine, but high enough that I didn't think I would have to worry about this with you. Evangeline, yes. I mean, look at who she decided to shack up with. But you?" Stark complained loudly. The Asset wasn't sure what he was talking about, but he knew enough to be offended on Nova's behalf.

"I'm not shacking up!" Evangeline cried, swatting out with her good arm at the man while Nova snorted, leaning back against the Asset's knee. He figured the position was uncomfortable as his knee was digging into her low back, but she made no move to stop touching him. Warmth spread through his chest at the thought, a feeling he violently squashed as he realized that she would be taken away the moment he let any feeling show. If she was taken away, he wouldn't be able to protect her.

"Hermione J. Granger, Tony, no insulting the BFF. Imagine if I told Mama you suggested Evangeline was shacking up with someone? She wouldn't care if it was true, she'd beat you up for shits and giggles. Besides, I'm not shacking up with the dangerous assassin. If his counterpart was willing…" Nova trailed off, smirking up at the Asset with a raised eyebrow. The motion stuttered through him with the weight of an anvil, his thoughts swirling for a moment before settling into a more clear pattern.

"You shouldn't say that in front of people," James spoke before his mind cleared, shaking his head a little to get the lingering thoughts of attacking his best friend out of his mind. His best friend. Who was here. In front of him. And thought he had gone out with Nova while in one of his hazes. The entire trip was a blur after kissing Nova in the changing room, something he definitely wouldn't be opposed to doing again. Shoving that thought aside for later, he focused on the current predicament, pushing up from his crouch and dragging Nova to her feet with him. He had a feeling he would need her to curb some of his best friend's annoyance. If there was one thing Nova was good at, it was redirecting focus.

"I'm just kidding. Glad to see you're back, James. Though, I wouldn't have been opposed to you making an appearance, say, before we got this far. Because they already know you went into your assassin-y haze and went shopping with me," Nova informed him, motioning to the room at large. "Which, let me just tell you, not-James is my new favorite fashion partner. He has a serious eye for color and picked out my new eyeliner."

"He's also very good at doing makeup," Natalia spoke, walking up to them and handing James his knife. He took the hilt, flipping the knife so he could slide it into his boot deftly. The movement was as natural to him as breathing.

"I'll remember that. I suck at getting my eyeliner to wing properly," Nova informed the other woman. For the first time, James thought he saw the beginning of a very dangerous friendship, but it was gone just as fast as Natalia slid into her spider form just as easily as she did everything else, her eyes hardening as she took in the way James had positioned himself. Instead of between Nova and the room, his shoulder was behind her, his metal hand pressed insistently against her back.

"Now, what were you doing taking Barnes out on your own? Clint and I are here, you could have called either of us to come along," Natalia demanded an answer, pulling a dubious eyebrow raise from Nova. James almost decided to drag her out of the room right then and there, realizing this wasn't going to go over well before the woman even bothered to open her mouth.

"Excuse me? James isn't a prisoner here and neither am I. If we want to leave, we can. No ifs, ands, or buts. He's a grown ass man, I am a grown ass woman. In fact, I passed all the same exams you did at the Ops Academy. If someone attacked, I could have helped him fight them off. Not to mention, no one has been around for a month. We've been on our own. And, oh, look, I'm still alive!" Nova snapped, her tone confrontational. James reached out with his human hand, catching her arm and dragging her back a step when she tried to go forward and get in Natalia's face. Even he knew that was a bad idea. "James wouldn't hurt me. Not that it would matter if he was going to because it would have been what? Two and a half weeks ago?"

"You could have gotten hurt. Or worse," Steve broke in. James flinched, gulping down his own flood of insults at the thought that he would lay a hand on Nova.

"Oh shut up! You're the one that left him here!" Nova swung on Steve, the bits of metal in her hair clinking together. Someone gasped as James caught Nova around the waist with his metal arm and dragged her back, into his chest. The metal bits in her hair dug into his arm funny as he held her back from a fight she was obviously more than willing to start. Steve's jaw had dropped and hurt blue eyes focused on Nova, whose fists were clenched and teeth gnashing. "What? You thought time would stand still for him while you were away? That his issues would just disappear? They didn't. And we needed you here. But you all fucking left. So don't tell me what we can and can't do. I don't want to hear it, goddamn it. Be happy he's doing better instead of being shitty about it. Just because it wasn't you who helped him doesn't mean that it isn't progress."

"Nova," James murmured calmingly, starting to lead her back toward the elevator. It still stood open where they'd left it, their bags still drooping against one another on the inside. He wanted to agree with her, wanted to snarl and kick and scream at his supposed best friend, but Nova would get hurt if they fought. It wasn't an option at the moment. He needed to deal with Nova before he even thought about talking to Steve.

"This is such bullshit," she hissed at him, shooting a dark look at Tony.

"I know," he answered easily, eyes clashing with Steve's. For the first time since James had been brought in, he looked like he had lived all the ninety odd years the history books claimed for him. The lines around his mouth and eyes deepened and the shadows in his eyes took over, leaving him haunted and pained. James set his jaw and focused back on the woman in his arms, forcing her into the elevator while she huffed and puffed, shaking her head at the rest of them. She avoided eye contact with Evangeline and one glance back showed James why.

Evangeline's golden eyes swam with tears and her free hand was covering her mouth. Her nose was wrinkled up and he knew she was fighting back something. Whether it be tears or words, he didn't know. But Evangeline wanted to say something.

Not for the first time, James looked down at Nova and wondered just how much Evangeline leaving had hurt Nova.

How long had it been since Nova had had a full night's sleep? How long had it been since she spent a night in her apartment, not counting the night that James had forced her to sleep there? Had she been living in her lab the entire time? Had anyone bothered to ask her before Steve and Evangeline left if she was going to be all right on her own?

The doors slid shut and James waited for a moment until he felt the thing start to move, wondering where it was taking them and hoping it was to Nova's lab. She needed something familiar. And James actually wanted to go there. At least at the lab he knew she was safe. For now, that would be enough.

"Sorry," Nova murmured, drooping into his chest after a moment of taking in great gulps of air. The fight seemed to slide out of her and James wrapped his arms around her shoulders, frowning tightly at the apology.

"You don't have to apologize," James informed her, content to hold her as the elevator moved. She tucked her arms under his jacket around his back and James shivered a little as her hands found the warm skin there, rough palms pressing against the smooth skin of his low back. She held on tight and James returned the favor.

"I spoke for you. That's not cool. You have your own mouth and your own feelings about all this shit. And I said you have issues. Which isn't exactly PC," Nova sighed, relaxing as James ran his human hand over her hair. The little metal pieces clinked together and he was once again surprised by them. They glinted in her hair as the elevator doors opened and James gently led Nova out into what turned out to be her lab. His lips twitched when he noticed someone had piled the other bags of things they'd bought in the middle of the floor, carefully away from any of the counters. Whoever it was probably had an intimate knowledge of just how dangerous Nova's lab could be.

Gently untangling her, James grabbed the rest of their bags and moved them into the lab, allowing the elevator to go off somewhere else as Nova followed him out.

"You said it well," James shrugged, reaching out for Nova again. Leading her to the corner of her lab, he dragged her down onto the cot with all the blankets. They both shed their jackets as they moved to sit down and James pulled off his gloves, sighing a little in relief as soon as they were gone. Propping himself up against the back wall, he let Nova crawl into his lap and curl up there, head resting against his chest and arms tucked around his waist. For the first time since leaving the Tower, James relaxed, trusting Nova's lab to keep them safe.

She'd mentioned when they'd first kissed that her lab was meant to be a safe place that he could come when he needed to. Somehow, over the time they'd known one another, that had become true in more ways than one. James honestly hadn't considered any lab safe before. All the other scientists he knew were looking to work on him and his arm, make him more of a weapon. It was odd that he'd found the only person in the world who could make him feel human in such a place.

"I still shouldn't have," Nova huffed, the tension in her muscles leeching out when he admitted that he didn't mind her sticking up for him.

James knew that he wasn't normal. He knew he wouldn't ever be normal and Nova had never brought it up in a way that made him decidedly uncomfortable. She was always careful. Throwing it in Steve's face wasn't the most appropriate reaction to everyone's worry, but James wouldn't exactly take it back either. No matter how the delivery was put, she had a point. Would anyone have noticed if he had hurt her? If he had given into the initial impulse to kill her over two weeks ago, would anyone have called her and noted the absence? How long would that have taken?

Not only that, but Steve had chosen to leave him at the Tower. It was all for Evangeline's safety and James approved of that plan, but it wasn't his decision for them to leave. He would have preferred that the both of them stayed at the Tower behind heavy security. Instead, Steve had him help make plans for their departure. If Steve had stayed, would things be different?

Yes was the resounding answer. James would have never gone to the meeting with Tony alone and he would never have observed Nova like he did. Steve would have insisted they leave Nova to her work and James would have never gone back down to her lab again. A tightness in his chest suffocated him at the thought of not knowing Nova like he did now and James pulled her toward him as tightly as he dared, setting his chin on the top of her head.

He wasn't going to let anyone take Nova from him. Not even Steve.


	33. The Bestest Friends Ever

**Hearts without Chains- Ellie Goulding**

 **Hello hello! Since I did a Christmas chapter last time, Happy New Year! So excited for 2016 to be over. Let's make 2017 a year to remember in a good way, please! Hope everyone's new year was happy and safe! Here's to a great year!**

"Hon, wake up."

Nova grumbled, swatting at the hand that was petting her hair and attempting to dive deeper into the blankets on her cot. The top blanket was yanked off, leaving one of her legs out in the cold air. Squeaking in shock, Nova curled up tighter into the remaining blankets, burying her face in the pillows in hopes that the person bothering her would go away and leave her to sleep. She recognized the soft voice and cool hands that shook her as she attempted to delve deeper into the bed. Maybe if Nova pretended she wasn't there long enough, Evie would just go away.

"Nova, if you don't get up, I'm going to flip the cot," the voice came louder and slightly more persistent as light nails tickled the bottom of her foot. Twitching, Nova's head popped up, turning to peer blearily through the mess of her hair at a familiar smiling face. An evil, conniving face.

"Evie? What time is it?" Nova complained lowly, flopping one arm out to reach for her best friend if only to drag her onto the bed and try to stifle her noise with a pillow pressed into her face. Instead of waiting for Nova to pull her up, Evie jumped onto the bed herself and lay down next to Nova, sprawling half on top of her with the same evil intent of forcing her awake. Scooting over to accommodate, Nova rolled back so that her back was against the wall, propping up on her elbow to try and see if James was around somewhere. He'd been there when she'd fallen asleep and he wasn't really one to disappear on her. If they fell asleep together, Nova usually woke up with James curled around her protectively.

"Steve came down and got James about an hour ago. They didn't want to wake you, so I said I'd come down and keep you company," Evie sprawled out overtop Nova, her bony elbows digging in as she wiggled until she was comfortable. Nova huffed out a breath, but allowed the movements. It was like being a teenager again, sharing a dorm room and picking on one another. Nova always picked classes that were later in the day while Evie chose the early classes and made sure to wake Nova up before she left. The same technique was used more times than Nova could count. If she couldn't get her brain to start functioning, she was going to get an ice bucket to the face.

When they were apart, Nova knew they were very professional grownups. But put them in a room together and it was like time stood still back when Nova was sixteen and Evie was like an overprotective, annoying sister that knew way too much about her. It was always amazing, no matter the bucket of water to the face.

"I'm assuming James and Steve don't approve of your blatant disregard for your own injuries," Nova observed, relaxing into her new position as she eyed the coffee machine that was about ten feet away. Evie slid off of her and just let her legs stay kicked over Nova's thighs, putting them face to face. Evie's round face came into view, big golden eyes blinking innocently at Nova like she didn't know what the hell she was talking about. Nova wasn't buying it. Evie's riot of auburn hair was pulled away from her face into a slick bun with all the curls straightened out. It was obvious that Evie couldn't have pulled it off herself, the intricate design too much for her injured arm. That left about one other person Evie would trust with her hair.

Nova ignored the bubble of jealousy that churned in her gut at the thought of Evie going to Natasha first. She would have to get over it. Evie had different friends now. And Natasha was one of them. Besides, no matter what Nova teased James about, she wasn't the best with hair styles…

"My injuries are healed," Evie shrugged, kicking out the leg that was stabbed with a flourish. The flinch of her facial muscles didn't do much for her claim and Nova shook her head, wondering just who had been letting her run around unattended. Evie was a better patient than James or Steve turned out to be, but she was still a pretty shitty patient and would run out of medical without a second thought if someone let her. The first two months of her recovery the first time, Nova had spent the time basically sitting on her to keep her still. They couldn't leave her alone because she would disappear into the bowls of the house. That wouldn't have been as terrifying if most of the compound hadn't been underground.

"You're not healed. Not your leg, not your shoulder, nothing's healed. And you need to start healing so that Mama doesn't round house kick you back into bed," Nova murmured, eyeing the dark circles under her best friend's eyes. Evie was usually the one between the two of them that slept more. Her nightmares were still prominent and Nova knew it, but she couldn't say much when she herself ran on caffeine. And Evie hadn't wanted help, which made trying to help her about a hundred million times harder. Not that Nova wanted help either. Honestly, it was no wonder they were best friends when she thought about it like that. "Maggie is going to flip out if you have that much baggage by the time you get home. We're going to be surrounded by mother hens. And I didn't even do anything to deserve it!"

"I'm getting there," Evie sighed, reaching out with her good hand to take Nova's hand in hers. Her smaller fingers slid between Nova's and they clasped their hands together, holding on like they'd done when they were young and scared. When aliens had fallen from the skies and they'd been ordered to two different posts, not knowing if they were ever going to meet again. Like when they'd gotten Evie back and she just needed someone to sit with her through the fear and Nova had promised not to leave her side. Like the first time the Captain was hurt on a mission and Evie sat in the hospital waiting room all night so that someone was there, making sure he was alright. "We need to talk about yesterday and what you said to Steve."

"I'll apologize to him." It came out much faster than Nova wanted it to, but she knew it was the right thing to do. Steve deserved an apology, no matter how much she hated to admit it. She wasn't one of those jaded assholes that thought everyone was out to screw with them. Steve had done what he could in a desperate bid to save Evie. Nova hated to admit it, but she'd have done the same if she thought it would help. "I didn't mean to sound like such a bitch and it was so not my place to say those things anyway. If anyone needs to talk, it's James and Steve and that's going to be one long, messy conversation I wouldn't mind watching with a little popcorn and possibly bourbon. I already talked to James about it. The apology part, not the bourbon."

The weight of regret settling on her chest like a physical object, as if someone was sitting on her ribcage again. Only Evie was at her side and she knew that it was her conscience that decided she needed a physical reminder of what she'd fucked up. And what she could fuck up potentially in the future. Because she had apparently recruited a sexy Russian assassin onto her team without even asking. If that didn't spell trouble, she had no idea what did.

"I think Steve would appreciate an apology. He would never have left James if he thought that James needed him here. James was one of the reasons we left, you know? He helped Steve plan the entire thing," Evie explained gently. "Well, what they planned before I got a hold of it."

"Oh, god, you're planning is ridiculous. You're lucky he loves you enough to stick through that. Please tell me you gave him hell," Nova begged, pouting out her lips and widening her eyes until tears started to form. That look had stopped working on Evie years ago, but it was still good practice in case she ever needed to convince someone she was helpless or scared when she was really just plotting their downfall. She'd done it before.

"Only a little bit. Steve actually prefers a general schedule, it makes him feel a little bit better. He definitely had a better reaction than your family." Evie and Nova shivered in complete unison, a shiver of remembrance and horror. So many family vacations spent arguing over timing. So many lost adults who didn't know their time tables. And then there was Evie, perfectly ready to go with Nova waiting at her side and Elise, poor kid didn't know any better, following along like a lost puppy. Mama had found it hilarious while the rest of the family hated it. Especially the fact that Evie was the one who was leading them at the ripe old age of eighteen. They didn't all become SHIELD specialists because they liked being ordered around.

"I did know that James helped Steve plan out your trips. He's mentioned it a couple of times while we were talking. James doesn't like to say it, but he had a hard time after the HYDRA attack. After you were taken he sat outside your door for weeks. He was sure that HYDRA was going to come back to try to kill you. He thought he was going to fail to protect you again. If someone wanted to get through those doors, James had to approve. Which was kind of terrifying because no one knew if he was James again or if he was not-James. I'm going for a little bit of both because he let me in every goddamn time, even when I asked him if I could touch the knife he was cleaning-"

"Excuse me?! You asked the Winter Soldier, a very dangerous assassin from the forties, if you could touch his knife? When you weren't even sure if he was having a flashback or not?" Evie clarified, her speech slowing as she tried to comprehend the immense stupidity in the room with her. Nova smirked, remembering his reaction warmly.

"It was a good day. Instead of trying to murder me, he let me pick a gummy worm out of the snack bag I had on me for him to slay. Bet there's still a hole in the wall by your old room where he threw the knife and stabbed it," Nova shrugged, not sure what her friend wanted to hear. They hadn't been friends when they'd both been holding vigil with Evie, but Nova trusted James because of that. He was devoted to Evie. What more could Nova want in a new best friend?

"Yeah, that's still one of your stupidest ideas. And you've had a lot of stupid ideas, so think about that next time you try to walk up to him when he's in Winter Soldier mode, please," Evie frowned tightly at her and Nova rolled her eyes, not seeing the big deal but also not in the mood to argue it.

"Anyway, not my point. My point is: What he went through after that… He needs a psychologist he trusts that he can see regularly. He has a lot of psychological help that I'm not qualified to supply. I'm pulling things out of my ass so he knows he's not alone and he's not crazy, but I'm not a pro," Nova complained, wondering if Renee would work on him. Renee Folsworth was a Legacy that worked with the Dugans on a regular basis and she'd trained medically. It was possible either she or someone she knew was trained in psychology and could help James in ways that Nova couldn't. That was all Nova really wanted at this point. She wanted so desperately to help him even though she knew that it wasn't possible coming from her. Not the things he needed. But she could help him find someone he could trust, someone who could start paving over those cracks in his very soul. "I'm just having a hard time with the idea of Steve leaving James here. I realize that James would never demand that Steve stay home, but it just seems so fucking stupid. I know that they're close, almost as close as us, but they have shitty communication skills," Nova snapped, letting out an annoyed snarl at just the thought.

"Steve and Bucky are working their differences out right now, according to Steve. Whatever that means. I didn't bother to ask. Those men have been friends for decades, they'll be fine. What I want to know is what's happening between us?" Evie cut through the bullshit and caught Nova, her attention switching back to her best friend as easily as flipping a switch on a switchboard. They stared at each other for a moment, fingers still tangled together tightly. Evie squeezed a little when Nova didn't respond immediately, prompting her to start. Nova knew that Evie wanted to know everything and she also knew that everything would hurt her best friend. Nova didn't want Evie to be hurt. Emotionally or otherwise. "I'm not a porcelain doll. You know me. I can handle whatever you need to say."

Nova remained stubbornly silent, pushing up to sit instead of lay down. Climbing over her best friend, she started the dual coffee pot machines, making sure one was going straight to hot cocoa while hers was a triple shot chocolate macchiato. Nova didn't bother to add anything to Evie's instead ignoring the questions that could tear a hole in their friendship that Nova wasn't sure they would be able to fix. Evie stayed laying down in the mess of blankets Nova had made her home and turned her attention to the stark white ceilings, her eyes finding all the supporting tiles that had been destroyed over the last few years. Mostly from Clint, but James had been leaving his mark on the lab as well.

"I abandoned you," Evie sighed like she was losing her grip on a shadow. The whisper slid past her lips and Nova could see the heartbreak there as she threw her good arm over her eyes and pursed her lips, fighting off any reactions. Nova took a deep breath and held it, not showing any emotion. If she did, it would prompt Evie to continue when she didn't need to. "Steve is great. I love him and you know that. That's why you didn't say anything when he suggested taking me with him on this vacation. It wasn't even a request, was it? He promised to keep me far away from here and I latched on without a second thought. I didn't want to say no. I didn't know how to. This is the man of my dreams and he's standing there, asking me to leave everything to go travel the world and do everything I've ever wanted to do. See everything I ever wanted to see. I said yes without even thinking about you. About our family. About Elise and Maggie and the kids. Mama and Grandpa Dugan were happy about it, they thought I deserved to be able to do things like that. But I didn't talk to you about it. And, if James can know where we are, why can't you?"

"Evie, I'm not blaming you…"

"You are though. I know you. And you're upset. Have you even been back to the apartment since I left? Does anyone make sure you actually get in a shower and food every day?" Evie demanded. Nova bit into her bottom lip, looking away. It was true that she'd been on her own and she'd been mad, so fucking mad when Evie was gone.

It was like losing her. That was what it felt like. Her tenuous grip on the Evangeline who had first become her friend, the one who wasn't afraid to be loud and proud had slipped. Evie had changed after the first encounter with HYDRA in ways Nova still didn't understand to this day. It wasn't her fault in any way, but Nova had promised to be there to help Evie pick up the pieces. After the second HYDRA attack… Evie wasn't as bad. She had Nova and Steve and the rest of the family members that came to visit her. They didn't let her go back to the way she was right after the first attack. Then Steve had taken her away and Nova couldn't breathe. She couldn't help thinking about all the time it had taken to help Evie heal the last time. About the screaming that still woke her up some nights. About the panic attacks that caught them all by surprise. Nova was the only one who could really pull Evie out of them. And then she was gone and Nova was scared and alone and she couldn't check on her best friend, couldn't even know where she was after having been put back into the clutches of the people who had hurt her so badly before.

Nova never really questioned her friendship with Evie. They were more than best friends, more than roommates. Evie was her sister as much as Maggie or Sharon. Maggie was blood, but Evie and Sharon and Renee and all the other Legacies Nova had chosen to love. She'd chosen them as her family. This was the first time that it ever occurred to her that Evie might not always be in her life.

But having Evie home, looking at her, how could Nova be upset? It was obvious that the trip had done Evie good. Aside from being tired, she was healing as well as could be expected and her general health was improving under Steve's gentle care. If Nova had known that was what it took to save Evie from herself when SHIELD went under, she'd have marched right up to the star spangled idiot and dragged him back to the Dugan house by the ear. All that mattered to Nova was that her best friend was healthy. And happy too, but mostly healthy.

"I was. I was mad when I was alone. Our apartment isn't home to me if you're not in it. It sounds super co-dependent to say it, but I never learned how to survive without you. So I stayed in my lab. The decontamination shower works well as a regular shower and I have the cot that's a lot comfier than it looks and the basket for clothes. Anything else I could need, I can get delivered. And I eat perfectly fine," Nova conveniently avoided mentioning sleep. Not only did FRIDAY tattle on her about that, but James was the only one who bothered to try and get her to get anymore sleep than she deemed necessary. It seemed he was fairly good at getting her to sleep too. Whatever their little friendship was, he knew how to at least get her to sit down long enough to fall asleep. True, it was only took about five seconds of sitting still to get her to fall asleep, but it was more than anyone else could do.

"I'm sorry," Evie threw her arms around Nova's neck and Nova caught her, wondering where the hell her sling from the night before had gone and why she wasn't wearing it. Melting a little, Nova immediately accepted her apology, knowing it wasn't healthy, but also doing nothing to stop it. No matter what, Evie was her best friend, her sister. If there was anything that Evie needed, anything at all, Nova would help her. No matter the cost.

"I survived. I always survive. Now, where the hell did your sling go?" Nova pushed Evie back and adopted a stern tone, wrinkling her nose at her best friend. Evie laughed, holding up the offending piece of fabric. Obviously, she knew someone would notice the lack and brought it with. Helping her into it, Nova went through the motions deftly. She'd helped her siblings hundreds of times when they were injured, not to mention Evie herself. And now there was James, who got into shit all the time apparently.

"So, if we're good now, you should tell me all about Sergeant Perfect Thighs," Evie demanded, now sitting cross-legged on the bed so that Nova could spill. Nova hesitated a moment, wondering if it was safe to tell her about the multiple personality thing. Nova trusted Evie implicitly, but she might tell Steve something and having Captain Tight Ass on her case wasn't something Nova would look forward to. They'd been friendly, before he'd stolen her best friend and basically left her and James alone forever. Now, Nova wasn't sure she was ready to forgive him. "I promise not to tell Steve anything. Scout's honor!"

"You were never a scout, but I'll allow it," Nova laughed at the very idea of Evie being in any sort of scout league. The girl had been a wild child when Nova had met her. Smarter than all hell, yeah, but she was also fiercely protective of Elise and wouldn't take shit from anyone. She'd have made a good scout, if no one tried to get in her way. One of the reasons she made such a good communications specialist was because she wouldn't allow the agents to talk shit to her. She'd learned that growing up and Nova would pay to see little hellion Evie walking into Girl Scouts and taking over the squad. That would be about the time the Girl Scouts would conceivably take over the world.

"Good. So, how did you two meet? And what was with the long night cuddle? Steve says that James was just around to make sure you weren't too upset, but I think he's full of shit."

"You always think Steve is full of shit. You date him and you're like meh, he's just full of shit," Nova teased, reaching up to run a hand through her hair. To her surprise, none of the small metal pieces she'd tied into her hair were there anymore. Neither were the braids they'd been attached to. Instead, her hair was soft and smooth. It felt like someone had brushed it out. Eyeing the table closest to her cot, Nova noticed that all the trinkets were put there, just within reach from where James had been sitting when she'd fallen asleep. A burst of warmth rushed through her chest, warming her from the inside out.

"He is full of shit. You should see some of the stuff he's willing to do. When we were in the Caribbean, there was a small tidal wave. Instead of staying in the building we were evacuated to, Steve goes jumping right into the ocean water and saving like twenty kids and a raft full of adults. I tried to remind him that he's not invincible, but he doesn't give a shit," Evie rolled her eyes, pursing her lips in annoyance.

"Sounds like he was missing the action that comes with being an Avenger," Nova offered, not honestly that surprised. Steve had been gearing for war since his twenties. He was someone who wanted to make a difference in the world. Could he do that globetrotting? Sure. But not quite on the same scale as he could with his team. Besides, Evie was going to get bored too. Evie couldn't go very long without her missions. Nova already knew she was working on the lead of whoever knew about the Dugan Stronghold and she had other small assignments to keep her busy. But it would get to be too much soon and they'd need a big mission.

It was all well and good that Steve talked about getting Evie away from the danger, but he wasn't the kind to settle down and live an apple pie life. Pun intended because that boy liked to pretend he was as apple pie as it got. He wasn't. The adrenaline junky in him definitely took over most of the time. The Avengers weren't just heroes, they were a bunch of people who enjoyed the thrill of the fight. Steve was one of those people. He wouldn't stay away long. And Evie would come back to the Tower with him because she loved him and she loved being Seraphim. Her work was important to her and she couldn't give it up any more than Steve could give up Avenging.

"I think he misses being an idiot," Evie huffed, shaking her head a little. "No, let's not talk about my boyfriend. Let's talk about yours."

"He's not my boyfriend," Nova denied immediately.

"What? You wouldn't say yes if he asked? If he kissed you, you wouldn't kiss back?" Nova froze at the last question, fighting off her automatic reaction to fidget and look at anything but her best friend. She failed miserably. "Holy shit, you did not kiss him!"

"It was an accident! You can't tell anyone. I just… he was there and his face… I couldn't not do it!" Nova cried, burying her face in her hands to try and avoid Evie's shocked and amused response. Evie's fingers circled her wrists and tugged, attempting to get her to look at her. Nova fought back, not ready to see her face. "I apologized, but then it just keeps happening."

"Okay, you're going to have to explain that little tidbit. It keeps happening?" Evie demanded, finally getting Nova's hands from her face. Nova pouted up at her best friend, hoping she'd take pity on her and not make her answer. A stern look put that idea to rest and reminded Nova why Evie was her mama's favorite.

"We were setting up the Christmas lights," Nova swung a hand out to encompass the lab and the decorations, glancing at them absently as she did. "Well, I was trying to untangle the lights and James was putting up the other stuff. He put up the snow globes and did a fantastic job, so I trusted him to put up some of the other stuff. I just told him what not to touch. So I was working on the Christmas lights and they were tangled, you know how they get. But you weren't there to fix them, so I had to do it. Well, I must have passed out from sheer annoyance at some point because then James was holding them and they were nice and neatly threaded around his arm and…. Well…"

"You kissed him because he undid your Christmas lights for you?" Evie's laughter tinkled through the lab and Nova groaned.

"It was an accident! I swear! I wasn't thinking and he was so pretty and there and I just…" Nova fell forward to bury her face in the pillow and Evie patted the back of her head gently with one small hand, still giggling over her head.

"I'd probably kiss him too, if he figured out those goddamn Christmas lights. Seriously, Supernova, you have no idea how long that usually takes me. I can't believe you didn't know what a pain those were. Steve and I didn't decorate this year. We weren't anywhere long enough to really put the decorations up and appreciate them. I super love how your lab looks. James did a great job helping you," Evie smiled, pointing out the lights that were strung along the ceiling and motioning to the lab tables that had the table cloths over them.

"That's not the end of it," Nova admitted. Evie's complete attention once against swung back to her and Nova tugged at the end of her hair for a moment, hoping inspiration would strike and she could lie her way out of this mess. (There was no fucking way.) "I kind of decorated his apartment without permission."

"Nova!" Evie scolded, tilting her head and giving her a very definitive death glare. Evie was all about politeness and all that jazz. She wouldn't have gone into someone else's personal space to decorate. She'd see it as an invasion of privacy. Nova, not so much.

"I know! But you know how I get about Christmas! Anyway, I decorated totally over the top and gave him the Cap shield blanket Grandma Angie quilted. Not the round one, but the other one, and put it on his bed. I also took him a few of my brothers' old sweaters for Christmas since he didn't have any and that's basically a crime. And he… he liked it. And he might have kissed me," Nova admitted quickly, ducking her head so that Evie couldn't see the blush that was starting to brighten her cheeks at just the thought of the kisses they'd exchanged.

"So he likes you too! That's awesome!" Evie cheered, throwing her arms around Nova to hug her. Nova pulled back, narrowing her eyes at the other woman, the one that was supposed to be older than her and smarter. The smarter thing was an objective analysis, but Nova was fairly certain that Evie was supposed to be better with people which should, in turn, mean that she could see all the problems in this scenario. "What? Why's that not awesome?"

"Well, I have a list, actually." Nova started, clearing her throat just for affect. Evie groaned in the background, but Nova simply kept going, pretending to pull a piece of paper out of her bra with a list of everything that could possibly go wrong. Her memory was very good, she'd gone over the list often enough that she knew it by heart, even if she had never written it down. "First off, he's got severe mental illness: PTSD, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Anxiety, things like that. That's not even beginning with the memory loss. That's actually number two: he has severe memory loss and sometimes doesn't remember me at all. Number three: he kind of hates me. I annoy him, a lot, and he mentioned that he has a plan to murder me and get rid of the body. Not a great relationship starting point. Number four: I think he thinks I'm crazy. Number five: he's healing and I want him to heal and be happy. How often does it happen that someone heals from something so painful and actually stays with the person they were with while in their previous state? Number six: your boyfriend is stone cold nutso and I think he might be planning my murder as well. Hopefully with less success than James."

"That's a terrible list. You should have at least wrote it down so I didn't have to combat it by memory. But, here we go. First: mental disorders don't mean relationships aren't possible. Steve and I both have multiple mental disorders and we survive as a couple by acknowledging it and trying to keep one another healthy. Bucky's very likely to have all of those disorders the rest of his life. If you're good with it now, try to think ten years down the line. Will you be okay with it then? Number two: memory loss isn't the worst thing in the world. He hasn't hurt you yet. In fact, he seems particularly protective when he thinks you'll be in danger," Evie pointed out.

"He said I'm his mission."

"What?" Evie looked appropriately horrified when Nova mentioned it, but Nova just shrugged a little.

"The first time I met not-James, that's what I call the Asset because I refuse to call any part of him something that will dehumanize him in the end, but not-James told me I was the mission. I don't know what the mission is. If he wanted to kill me, I'd be dead. He's already mentioned a few times how easy it would be to make it look like an accident. Or make it into an accident," Nova informed Evie, twirling the ends of her hair around her fingertips.

"Well, if number four is he thinks you're crazy, I agree with him. You shouldn't have stayed with him if he confessed to wanting to hurt you, Nova. Since he hasn't hurt you yet, I agree with number five. He must be healing from some of it. But the part of you two not staying together because he won't want you is stupid. If he could get you, I doubt he would let you go so easily. Bucky strikes me as the kind of man to wait. Forever if he has to," Evie soothed, settling a pillow in her lap. "And my boyfriend is definitely nuts, but he won't murder you. He knows that means losing me and he won't risk that. No matter how much you piss him off. And trust me, he's not mad at you over last night."

"He should be," Nova grumbled, annoyed that the men in her life wouldn't let her blame herself for what she'd said. They were her words and it was her fault. They just pushed it aside like it didn't matter when she knew it did. She knew how emotional Steve could get when it came to his BFF and Nova didn't blame him. She'd punch anyone in the face that said anything about Evie without her express written permission. But Evie had a mouth of her own and she used it whenever she felt threatened. Thank Thor, Nova got into trouble enough for the two of them, it was a good thing Evie could protect herself when it came to verbal combat at least.

"What you said… it wasn't nice but it wasn't exactly a lie either. Steve left James just like I left you. But that's not happening anymore. I don't care what we have to do. You two are important to us and we're not going to cut you out of our lives again," Evie promised, throwing her arms around Nova's shoulders. Hugging her best friend tight, Nova wasn't prepared for the large 'Boom' to shake the floor of her lab or for the lights to flicker.

"Shit."


	34. Decades of Friendship Equals Angst

**Song: Fight Song by Rachel Platten**

 **So, sorry to disappoint, but there's no HYDRA attack in this chapter? The BOOM made lots of people think there's an attack, but it's kind of more complicated than that? I really like this chapter though because of the way James kind of takes his own life back. You'll see what I mean, I hope. Anyway, my songs have kind of just been songs that I like that generally fit with chapters, but not always. This one is kind of abstract and fits in my head but I'm not sure how well on paper. Lol. Anyway, thanks for all the lovely reviews! I love reading them! Also, Supernova is officially going to be longer than Seraphim… It got away from me… I'm really not that sorry, but I'm just sending out the warning now. Hope everyone likes the chapter and that the new year is going well!**

James glanced back at the elevator as he walked down the hallway near Steve, wondering if he should have woken Nova up before leaving. She didn't get enough sleep to make up for her previous lack and he knew that. He just didn't feel right leaving her there without letting her know where she was going to be. Even if Evangeline had promised to go wake Nova up in a little bit abandonment was never fun.

"Come on, Buck," Steve slapped him on the shoulder with more force than necessary, shifting James's metal arm and sending zings of pain along his spine. Ignoring it the best he could, James followed Steve into the sparring ring in the middle of the gymnasium. It wasn't their best idea, but Steve's ideas weren't ever really that great. The history books claimed he was an amazing strategist, but they forgot to mention that he very rarely stuck to his own plans in the first place. Going out in the field with Steve was like jumping into a mine field without a map and hoping he wouldn't take the wrong step. In other words, it was usually a barely contained disaster. "I thought we could talk a bit."

Silence stretched for a moment when James didn't say anything and Steve watched him as if he would just start spouting poetry. After a full minute of dead silence, James mentally shrugged and fell into a stretch, palms pressed flat against the padded floor he was standing on. Another minute passed before Steve started moving as well, his stretching less efficient. James had tried to correct his mistakes a hundred times, but the other man wasn't particularly worried about injuries that could come from insufficient warmup. Actually, he wasn't worried about injuries at all.

After a few minutes of warming up, Steve cleared his throat, catching James's attention. It was obvious he was done stretching and James rose, squaring off against his best friend. Loosening his knees and silently reminding himself that he was safe here, James got ready to start sparring. For a few moments, they danced around one another, James's muscles loosening into a ready stance as he let his muscle memory take over and make decisions for him.

Strategy ran through his mind immediately, cataloguing how they both fought and the easiest way to end a fight without too many injuries to either party. His goal wasn't to hurt Steve, it was to get him pinned. Steve was used to fighting with his shield. His left side had a weaker defense than his right and James had an in.

James knocked a weak punch aside when Steve threw it, testing James's reflexes and willingness. Sliding into a comfortable pose, James waited. Steve had been training with Natalia and Clint, but James was the one with more experience and more expertise. The only one with the same caliber of training was off in the corner of the room, exchanging bets with Clint on who would win this fight. And she wouldn't dare to attack him with Steve in the room. That was one of the reasons he felt safe right now, talking. Even if he didn't really want to talk. Not until he saw Nova again and was certain she was all right. Leaving her like he did left a bitter taste in his mouth and he had to consciously ignore the feeling and force his focus on Steve for the time being.

"Talk about what?" James demanded finally, dodging a roundhouse kick easily. The clothing he'd put on for the gym was brand new. Nova had picked the outfit out while they were shopping. Dark red sweatpants with 'Avengers' written along his right leg in dark blue letters covered his leg ironically. She'd about died laughing when she'd picked it out. The tee shirt he had on was also one of her picks, one he hadn't approved. It was a black tee shirt with the print of the arc reactor in Stark's chest on the front. Across his shoulder blades was written STARK in big, white letters. James figured he might as well destroy the thing in training. He wouldn't wear it anywhere else. Nova had managed to sneak it into their purchases without him noticing. She was craftier than he'd originally assumed, which was odd. He wasn't usually wrong when gauging other people.

"About you and Nova," Steve answered easily, his breath huffing out of his lungs when James threw a punch that correlated with his pronunciation of Nova's name. He'd said it just slightly differently than usual, like she was someone they didn't trust. James followed the punch by sweeping Steve's feet out from under him, stepping back to keep distance when Steve hit the mats hard enough to vibrate the entire room.

The other man didn't make a noise of pain as he pushed back up to his feet, shaking his head a little and rolling the shoulder that had been damaged by HYDRA to knock out the kinks. After he was satisfied, he threw a punch at James's face, fist blurring through the air he moved so fast. James blocked that and the kick he tried to sneak in, catching his friend's foot in his hand and throwing him backwards. Steve hit the mat again, grunting as he did. James rolled his neck and shoulders, hoping to release the sudden tension that was clenching his muscles. It wasn't anger, not yet, but he only needed a subtle push in that direction and then sparring would get downright dangerous. James was starting to hope that was where this was going because the urge to punch someone in the face was getting stronger.

"Look, I know you're…. friends…" Steve pushed up to his feet, holding his hands out in surrender for a moment. James didn't trust it for a second and didn't back down, glaring at his best friend. He wouldn't be his best friend for long if he kept insulting Nova. When Steve wasn't around, Nova was the one who was there for him. Steve had no right to insult her, especially considering he'd already upset her once since arriving at the Tower. James had spent weeks making sure that Nova was safe and relatively happy, he wasn't letting Steve ruin all that work on some bit of jealousy.

"You don't know anything," James snapped back, annoyed that everyone kept assuming they knew what was going on between Nova and him. Catching the next punch Steve threw at him when he was properly able to stand up, James braced himself, throwing his hip up against the other man's and pivoting, slamming Steve into the mat by flipping him over his hip. This landing held more momentum than the previous, a warning written in pain. Instead of dodging back to wait for the next assault, James crouched down, metal fist pressed into the mat by Steve's head threateningly. "You don't know a goddamned thing."

Steve rushed up and James didn't have time to brace himself before he hit the wall on the other side of the gymnasium after his friend physically threw him across the room. The hit jarred his arm and a shock of pain went through him, one that he ignored. Pain was a signal that could be ignored.

Not one to let an opportunity die, James bounced out of the position Steve had been hoping he would land in, throwing himself to the floor at the same time as Steve's shield clanged against the wall he'd just pushed off of. The BOOM of the hit shook the ceilings and all the occupants of the room sat up and took notice as rubble from the wall sprinkled down around James, bouncing off his shoulders and getting lodged in his hair.

James was too intent on his current prey to care that they were making enough noise to wake the dead. When he finally made it to the other side, God might just let him into heaven to let his ma nag at him for all of eternity. That would be the only true hell he could imagine and he'd done enough to earn both his ma's nagging and hell.

"Nova is dangerous," Steve snapped with all the force he could, throwing himself at James in an attack that was so amateur James questioned if Natalia was really training him or not. Catching Steve by the shoulders and spinning them so he could shove Steve back into the wall, James slammed his friend's head against the plaster right near where his shield had broken it. James's metal forearm snapped up to nudge Steve's chin up and press against his carotid threateningly. His hold was firm and he didn't allow Steve the comfort of struggling, rage rushing up to meet him as he focused on Steve and Steve alone.

"I'm dangerous," James snarled, flicking a knife deftly so that the blade slid into the wall as easily as butter in one small movement. The flat of the knife brushed against Steve's cheek and James absently noted that his friend needed to shave if he wanted to go out with the Avengers any time soon. Then again, Steve always made coming back with Evangeline sound like it was in the future, far too far away. So the chances of him joining the Avengers again were low. For some reason, that just pissed James off more. Who did the punk think he was? Dumping an entire team? Dumping the people who cared about him?

James heard the elevator doors open but didn't otherwise acknowledge the sound. Whoever had come in was walking in at exactly the wrong moment and James hoped like hell they'd all just turn around and walk back out because James wasn't about to let Steve talk shit about Nova. Not after everything she'd done for him.

The urge to hit someone was now focused indefinitely on Steve, who was meeting his eyes defiantly. James could practically smell the stupidity. Steve thought it was a good idea to piss off the Asset while sparring? James would make sure that thought never crossed his mind again. This time, the Asset was letting him deal with the anger, the pull to let the other parts of him take over only slightly more than usual. Any other time, Steve could have gotten himself killed.

"You know, when Evie said you two were working out your angst, I kind of thought there would be more hugging and less… whatever the hell this is," a familiar, comforting voice spoke from behind him. James perked up automatically, ears tuning themselves to Nova's voice as soon as she made it known she was in the room. "Of course, I wouldn't dream of standing between the two of you. Well, actually, I think I had a dream that started exactly like this once. There was a lot more whip cream and a lot less clothing, if you know what I mean."

James glanced over his shoulder at Nova, wondering if she ever stopped making inappropriate jokes. The saucy wink she sent him told him quite clearly that, no, she wouldn't ever stop making jokes like that, no matter how dangerous the situation was.

"Not the point. Anyway, could you guys at least try not to break the Tower?" Nova complained, walking closer. James stilled, his grip on Steve still as firm as ever, even as Nova appeared beside him, eyes flickering between the two of them before focusing on him and him alone and completely ignoring his best friend. From one of her overall pockets, she produced a lollipop with a brown wrapper, waving it at him like she thought she could bribe him into letting Steve go. Which wasn't going to happen. No matter that he actually did like the root beer Dumdums. "I know Tony claims he's cool with it, but he'll complain for the next five years. If he asks, this was not my fault, okay? I came in time to save the Cap's life, that counts for something, yeah?"

James kept his mouth firmly shut, even as Nova sidled closer. He tensed a bit when Steve's eyes flicked to Nova, his forearm pressing against Steve's throat tighter in warning. Steve's blue eyes snapped back to his and James lessened the pressure slightly, satisfied that Steve had gotten the warning.

"So, anyone want to spill the beans on what you two are arguing over? Because now I'm completely interested and I want to put my two cents in. Is this about Christmas? Because I promise there is enough eggnog for everyone. Well, usually. If it's about whose prettier, me or Evie, I can promise you the answer is Evie. If it's about weapons, I swear James only keeps like six on him at all times. That's pretty tame compared to those weird ass motherfuckers over there," Nova hummed, pointing toward Natalia and Barton. James tensed as he noticed that they had their weapons out and pointed vaguely in Nova's direction. They were aiming for him, but Nova would be hit if she didn't move. He wouldn't let them hurt her.

"Why would they argue about who's prettier?" Evangeline's voice joined and James wished he could make everyone disappear. He just needed a minute to think. Because the urge to hurt Steve still lingered in his very bones and he didn't want to. Did he? If he kept saying Nova was bad for him, yes. Because James knew more about Nova than he knew about himself at this point and she was a good, honest person. He didn't know what it would take for Steve to see that, but he knew that it would happen at some point. So long as James didn't kill him right here.

"Because I feel like that would explain a fight between these two, don't you think? Anyway, I brought comfort food and the assassins are getting twitchy, so can you put Steve down?" Nova inquired, turning to James questioningly. Her thin fingers found his arm and she brushed her fingertips reassuringly over the cool metal, not an ounce of fear in her stance. Steve's attention had slipped to Nova again and James considered strangling him in annoyance at the honest surprise in his gaze. As if Nova would let James kill anyone, much less his best friend.

"What do I get?" James demanded, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could think.

"What do you get for putting Steve down?" Nova asked, laughter lacing her voice. James nodded slightly, glad she wasn't upset with him. Making a joke of a serious situation could go one of two ways and Nova, it seemed, took it the best way. "Well, I'm sure I can think of something to get you to do my bidding."

Nova ran the tip of her tongue along her top lip as if in thought, the slow, seductive blink of her eyes clearly not an accident. James sucked in a breath at the bolt of arousal that ran through him, red hot and dangerous. Maybe Steve was right and Nova was dangerous. Dangerous to his mental health, to his control. If his control wasn't drilled into him for seventy odd years, he might not have been able to shove the arousal away and focus on the matter at hand. He did, however, ease away from Steve. One hand still in the center of his chest, holding him to the wall, James took a step or two back, the silver metal of his hand a shocking contrast to the dark blue of Steve's workout shirt.

"All right, so, kiss and makeup. Steve didn't mean to piss you off and you don't want to hurt him," Nova ordered them, waving between them deftly. James wondered if that technique ever worked, but figured it did if she was still using it.

"I'm not apologizing," Steve shook his head, glaring at the rest of the audience they'd acquired. James leaned against his arm slightly, putting more weight on Steve's chest. The other man clenched his jaw, but didn't complain about it. If he wanted to, James could break his ribs without even thinking about it. And that was starting to sound like a good idea.

"Oh, come on. Evie and I are best friends again, it's time you two make up. You've missed each other, you had to have. Besides, don't you think James should get a bit of a commendation or something for not going all not-James on your ass and just killing you when you pissed him off?" Nova asked, waving his lollipop through the air to emphasize her point. James ignored it, knowing that she had no idea just what Steve was implying about her. He wasn't sure that it would change her mind about their current predicament, but James thought someone talking about her in such a way deserved retaliation.

"I told him the truth and he didn't like the answer," Steve snapped, jaw still tightly clenched.

If James was still the Asset, he would have snapped Steve's neck right then. It took a well of strength he was surprised he had to hold the urge in. His free hand reached out and took the sucker right out of Nova's fingers, his other hand leaving Steve's chest so he didn't try to lean harder and cave in his ribs. Nova let him take the lollipop, a gentle smile spreading along her lips as he tore through the wrapper and stuck the treat in his mouth, immediate flavor bursting along his tongue and reminding him of where he was.

"Whatever it was, I'm pretty sure you were just being an ass. You two are supposed to be making up for lost time, having a few needed conversations about abandonment issues, yet you instead decide that the best possible plan is to piss off the one man in the Tower who could take you without a second thought. Way to be a dumbass, dude," Nova huffed, blowing air out her nose in annoyance. James clinked his metal fingers together when he had nowhere to put his hands, the itch in his palms still tempting him to reach out and strangle Steve. "Come on, James. We can figure this out later if you need a minute."

"I'm fine," James snapped gruffly, his voice deep and angry. He winced as soon as the words left his mouth, reaching for Nova before his brain caught up with the movement. Instead of correcting it, his metal fingers closed lightly around her wrist. Her natural body heat warmed the cool metal immediately, the small shiver she gave on contact reminding him that he wasn't someone who could keep her. As shown only moments ago, he'd tried to kill his best friend. He'd seriously considered it. And she was letting him touch her without fear.

"If you say so," Nova shrugged, like his word was enough to make her believe anything. James's fingers automatically tightened around her wrist, steering her closer to him as she danced from foot to foot, unable to stand still. "Is anyone going to explain what the fuck is going on or do I have to get FRIDAY to show me the footage? Don't put it past me, nothing is past me. My expertise lends itself to this particular instance, but I'd totally break into a vault if I had to. What's going on?"

"Steve claims you're dangerous because he's a dick," Barton spoke, his bow lowered now that Nova was so close to James. James considered the other man for a moment. He usually liked Barton. He understood being brainwashed and he was a good sharp shooter. Their contests on the range were entertaining and he was one of the first to accept James as James instead of the Asset or some variation thereof. He wasn't quite so fond now as Nova's jaw actually dropped, her chocolate eyes flashing as she turned to Steve.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Nova snarled, lips pressed into a firm line while a wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows.

"You're dangerous. Even if you don't mean to be, even if you don't know it, you're dangerous," Steve informed her, as if she should know that and accept it. James felt his lips twist into a scowl, automatically pulling Nova into his chest and glaring at Steve over the top of her head. Nova didn't seem the least bit upset about the decision, instead pulling out two other lollipops and sticking them in his pockets.

"Why do I doubt all of that? If I was dangerous and I didn't know it, then I probably wouldn't use it and then I wouldn't be dangerous. Right?" Nova plowed on with her own logic, almost dragging a smile out of James. Sometimes her logic was so fucked up that it actually made sense.

"It's not a philosophical debate," Steve interrupted.

"Actually, it is. If a bear shits in the woods and no one is around to smell it, does it really smell?" Nova pressed, leaning a shoulder against James's chest. He resisted the urge to wrap her in his arms, knowing it would compromise his movements too much. If Steve attacked, he had to be able to get Nova out of the building.

In the background, James noticed Barton and Natalia sliding out of one of the back doors, both of them silent on their feet. Whoever had trained Barton had done a fantastic job. James hoped the two assassins were on his side of this argument. Natalia and Nova might not seem to get along, but he was sure that Natalia wouldn't let her die for something stupid. At least he hoped that she wouldn't. It was hard to tell when Natalia cared and when she didn't. Allegiances could change in an instant in their world and James knew that better than anyone.

"Can't you be serious for two seconds?" Steve snapped at Nova, pulling James's attention back to the argument at hand.

"Don't talk to her like that," James demanded immediately, gently moving Nova out of the way so that he could crowd closer to his best friend, straightening his shoulders and clenching his own jaw. It was about time he got to fight someone who was near par with him. Steve would provide an interesting challenge and James was fairly certain the other man wasn't going to back out of this fight. Steve was always pulling back while they sparred, being careful. James was ready for a fight that would challenge him and it would be a unique opportunity to fight Steve without having to worry about hurting him. The part of him that was morbidly fascinated with his own abilities relished the opportunity.

"You're not fighting again," Evangeline's voice broke through and James fought the urge to look at her. She was the closest thing, besides Nova, to a superior officer in his life. Evangeline's voice always reminded him of missions and he automatically wanted to listen to her orders. But that wouldn't defend Nova and James wasn't letting anyone drag Nova's name through the mud, not even his best friend.

"Evie, maybe we should let them duke it out. Could be fun. I could call Tony down, get some popcorn and bourbon. It would be amazing," Nova broke in with a smile, though James could feel the tension vibrating under her skin. She didn't want to be there anymore than he did. And that bothered him more than he would ever admit.

"No, no one is fighting. Steve," Evangeline turned to Steve, who immediately gave her his complete attention. If James came up and slit his throat, James was fairly certain he wouldn't notice until he hit the ground that something was wrong, that was how focused he was on the woman in his life.

It was ironic. Steve thought Nova was dangerous when Evangeline was far more dangerous than her friend. Nova built things. She wanted to make advanced prosthetics readily available for the general public. Her goal wasn't to be an agent or kill people, her goal was to save people, to help them. Evangeline's career goals were to run missions. But she was the one who had met up with Grant Ward when she knew it was dangerous. She was the one who was secreted away to be protected on more than one occasion. And Steve thought Nova was the dangerous one?

"Nova is my best friend. I know her better than I know myself. I'm sure she can say the same. I don't know what you're thinking, but Nova won't hurt any of us. Least of all James," Evangeline promised her boyfriend, her eyes wide and pleading. James wished that it was that simple. That everything could be so black and white in his mind.

"You don't understand…" Steve started.

"Stop," James demanded, shaking his head and letting the strands of his hair fall down into his eyes. He glared at Steve through those chunks, knowing it made an intimidating picture. Letting Nova go, James made sure that his best friend saw the plates in his arm realign, noting the tension that immediately jumped along Steve's shoulders as soon as his eyes followed the motion. It was a threat that James knew would work. The arm was the symbol of HYDRA. It made Steve remember the Asset. It reminded him of all the things James was capable of.

Sure that Steve understood the silent threat, James reached out and took Nova's hand in his human one, her palm meeting his as she let him start herding her toward the elevator.

They were done here.


	35. Silent Night At Least It Was

**Song: Silent Night**

 **Hey, everybody! Thanks for all the reviews. I seriously laughed when I read most of them because they're like 'Steve's an ass.' Which, yeah, he's being a jerk. But he's being a jerk because love. Lol. So, I'm thinking of doing Pietro/OC next. Tony is going to play an even bigger part in that story, but I want to hear from you. Who are you wanting to see? Which Avenger needs their own OC right now?**

It would have been funny if it happened to anyone else. Nova wasn't one who missed the humor in such situation and she knew she would laugh if, say, Clint complained that Captain America thought he was a danger to his friends. It sounded ridiculous, like some sort of comic book subplot, but Nova couldn't get the thought out of her mind. How was she dangerous? Sure, she knew how to create bombs from household products. And yeah, she'd had a hand in the Battle of New York and had taken down a few buildings to protect the parameter and the citizens of New York with the least amount of casualties. Okay, so she was also trained to kill, but that wasn't her fault.  
Either way, it didn't explain just what Steve thought she was going to do to James to hurt him and her mind was whirling around that one point, trying to figure it out. The only way she could focus herself on something else was when she'd ordered FRIDAY to turn out every light in her lab, cuing up the Christmas lights and music and humming along to all the familiar tunes. Her work station was lit up like the Christmas tree in the corner as she looked through the various scans of James's arm.

When in doubt, emersion in her work always made life easier to understand. Biomechanics was less complicated than James Barnes and Steve Rogers.

"FRIDAY, how do I get myself into this shit? One day I'm helping a lonely super soldier because he's hotter than the sun and I could take a bite out of that and the next I'm fighting off his equally super soldier-y boyfriend and trying to defend the point that I'm not dangerous on purpose. I realize I sound a bit sexist, but I'm so beyond pretending James isn't pretty," Nova sighed, thunk-ing her head down on her desk and immediately regretting the decision. Her glasses dug into her nose awkwardly and the pain stabbed through her head as she sat up, readjusting the bright blue frames with a grimace.

FRIDAY didn't answer and Nova hadn't expected her to.

Humming lightly along with "Silent Night", Nova flicked her fingers along the screen in front of her, squinting at an anomaly in the scan. Spreading her fingers wide, the image expanded, giving her a close up of the anomaly. She stared at it for a moment, a frown pulling at her lips as her nose wrinkled up. What the hell was that? It was small, like a tube that contained… something. Nova couldn't tell what without a sample. If JARVIS was still installed in the building, she would have gotten him to help her, but he had a nice new purple body he was running around in. But he wasn't the same JARVIS and Nova had no interest in asking for the Vision's help in her project. Especially when it came to James.

It was already enough of a bitch trying to get James to trust her, she wasn't about to bring in the purply dude who may or may not have been involved in the almost destruction of the planet.

"FRIDAY, do another scan on this portion of the x-ray. I want to know what's in this tube here. Also, try and pick up any radioactivity coming from the aforementioned scans. When you're done, send me the data and forward it to Tony, just in case. He might have an idea of what it could be. I want to know what it does and why it's there," Nova enlarged the display again, showing FRIDAY just what she was talking about. The AI took the visual feed and ran with it, a few computers in the corner of the room humming to life.

An alarm went off in the lab somewhere, warning Nova that another hour had fallen away. It was supposed to be there to convince her to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. Nova simply ignored it, rolling herself over to the holographic table. It lit up as soon as she touched the surface, her work transferred onto the surface. Pulling up the holographic image of James's prosthetic, Nova started pulling various pieces off, throwing the metal plating off to the side in what looked like a garbage heap as she focused in on the more important internal structuring. Grabbing an available stylus, Nova started scribbling out notes on the table, knowing that FRIDAY would save them for her automatically.

The initial observations she'd made of the attachment of James's arm was so far off base that she felt stupid for a moment. Horror quickly took over as she realized that the metal ran through James's shoulder blade and ribs. That was why he'd insisted that she go further through his back and chest. There were wires that had worked their way into the nerves along his spine. The synthetic nerves were completely adopted into his very being and it would be impossible to remove the arm even if he didn't want it. It would kill him to try. If James hadn't warned her that she needed to scan further, Nova wouldn't have gone all the way to his spine. Most prosthetics weren't this sophisticated. Most couldn't even move. The entire design of James's prosthetic was unprecedented and Nova stared in surprised horror at it for a few minutes.

"The fact that they anchored this in the forties still blows my mind. It's insane. I honestly wasn't expecting the synthetic nerves to have roots in his spine. I guess it makes sense if you want to fully integrate the arm into his system, but it's still dangerous enough that any sane doctor would find it unethical," Nova muttered, moving a few of the wires in the hologram to see underneath. The little tube that Nova was looking for came into view and Nova frowned tightly, hunching over her work as she scribbled out a few notes.

The tube was connected to a small capsule that sat in the middle of his shoulder. The capsule was full of a different solution and Nova felt a shiver of dread run down her spine as she observed the tube's entire structure. It ran from the capsule in James's shoulder all the way to where the nerves found their roots in his spine. Anything connected to his spinal cord was dangerous, but this didn't look good in the least. There were a hundred thousand options with what it could be and she didn't have time to worry about them all. Whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"You should sleep," a voice suggested from behind her. Nova grunted in acknowledgement, not having heard the elevator arrive. Curling her feet up to get better leverage, Nova turned the scans of the arm so she could get a feel for what the tube and the capsule might do. They had no real purpose from what she could tell. It wasn't connected to the nerves themselves, just the spine. There wasn't another area that the tubes fed. It was a straight shot from the capsule to his spine. That wasn't good. Her mechanic brain saw it for what it was. Dangerous. Nothing should have been so completely free of all connection in such a complicated array of wires. The fact that a mysterious capsule was put her on high alert.

Eyeing the shoulder tissue, Nova winced at what she saw. The skin would have had to regrow itself over the metal of his arm. The healing properties of the super soldier serum were legendary. The Hulk couldn't die. Dr. Banner couldn't either. Steve proved to be fairly close to invincible, though they weren't really willing to try killing him. James was no exception to that. In the beginning, his body had tried to heal itself. It would have taken a long time to connect the tissue to the metal and the wires and they'd have had to reopen their entry wounds multiple times over the course of days while they worked. It would have been damn painful and Nova wondered briefly if his body was still trying to regenerate and if that had anything to do with his pain.

There was no way to fix it anymore. The nerves and the wires had become so intermixed that taking the base out of his body would shock his system too badly. He could die if they tried to remove the base. It looked like the base was the only part that was so intermixed with his being, though. She could conceivably take the rest of the arm off if she could find the appropriate point of connection. There seemed to be a clear portion that she could detach if they needed to. It wouldn't be painless or fun, but it was possible. Upgrades could be done. There wasn't software as the entire thing was connected to his brain, but the hardware could use an upgrade. There was a particular section of wiring that was rusting out. That was probably where the pain was coming from. The wires connected to those nerves went all the way to his fingers and probably shot up his spine.

"Nova, I need to talk to you," the same voice insisted. Nova ignored them, barely hearing the voice as she wrote out the process. It would take a steady hand and at least six hours to get it all disconnected safely. He'd need local anesthetic. Probably need to knock him out, knowing his reaction to people touching his arm. Considering the complexities involved in the machinery, it would be a good idea to have Tony present. He had more practice than her working on live patients (i.e. himself). Renee would be a good choice too. She was a doctor in her own right and Nova knew that it would take about ten seconds to convince her to help. Nova was all about biomechanical engineering and Renee was trained as a doctor. They got along like a house on fire. No one's work compared to theirs when they were together. And Nova only wanted the best for James.

Her notes were interrupted with a long scribble when her chair was tugged backward, her entire body flying back with it. She grabbed onto the sides of the seat to hold herself place, scowling before she could even fully comprehend what was happening, righteous fury burning in her gut. This was important! This was really fucking important and she needed to figure out what the hell that liquid was because it could kill James and she wasn't about to let him die on her. Nope, that liquid needed to be identified and one of the easiest ways to identify something was to go in and poke it with a stick.

"Damn it, James, I'm in the middle of some important shit, why do you insist on ruining my life?" Nova complained loudly, eyes finding a completely different face than the one she was expecting.

Oh, shit.

Wide blue eyes the color of the sky on a cloudless day met her own dark gaze. Honey blond hair stuck up on the top of Steve's head and his shoulders straightened at her obvious assumption, a frown tilting his lips.

Honestly, Nova really did like Steve most of the time. The last few months hadn't been easy for her but she knew it couldn't have been easy for him either. It was hard to understand what Steve saw when he looked at her. Obviously, Evie had mentioned that they were best friends. But Steve only saw Nova when she was with Evangeline, not when she was working or when she was trying to help James. He knew little about her and it seemed he didn't really like what he did know. It would hurt her feelings if Nova didn't think that he was kind of being an ass at the moment. If he wanted to know more about her, he could ask, like a normal person, instead of just assuming she was out to ruin his boyfriend's life.

"Why are you still awake?" Steve demanded, catching Nova off guard for a moment. Glancing at the computer screen dubiously, Nova found that FRIDAY was still displaying the time in large, bold letters. It was five twenty-three in the morning. Cataloging this information, Nova turned back toward Steve, noting that he was wearing a tight grey tee shirt, blue sweat pants, and running shoes. His spiked hair was still damp and the scent of his shampoo invaded her senses as soon as she acknowledged it.

"Who has time to sleep? What the hell are you doing up anyway? It's five in the morning. People who sleep in a normal sleeping pattern should be firmly in their beds. And you have to warm your bed for Evie, so at least you have a good reason to go back to sleep instead of creeping around my lab," Nova reminded him, her mind working fast. Steve liked to run. She knew that because Evie had told her and she'd witnessed his insane running patterns. Running in the morning seemed to be his favorite, before the world woke up and got busy. He even went out in winter, as shown now. Nova thought he might be a special kind of insane to do that, but she kept her mouth shut. A light coat was thrown over one of her counters and she hoped there was nothing sensitive over there. If he blew up the lab, she was going to be pissed.

"Everyone needs sleep, Nova. You know, I didn't actually believe Evangeline when she mentioned you'd probably still be awake," Steve informed her, shooting her an accusatory glance, as if it was her fault she had shitty sleeping patterns. Okay, maybe working didn't help, but so what? She had to do something while she wasn't sleeping and this shit was important. More important than her insomnia being cured, as if that would ever happen.

Shrugging a little, Nova glanced longingly back at the table with her notes and the hologram of James's arm pulled up. If Steve would go away, she could figure out how to fix the pain he was having before Christmas rolled around. At the very least, she could figure out what was wrong and suggest ways that he could avoid the pain. That was always a good idea.

"Come back later. Like, when the sun is in the sky later. I'll talk to you then. I'm working. You know, busy," Nova waved a hand to shoo him off, putting one foot down so she could start scooting herself toward the table again. Steve grabbed the back of her chair before she could get more than one step in, halting her progress and spinning the rolling chair to face him. Nova knew he was determined, but what a pain in the ass.

"I think Tony just appeared here and came out of your mouth," he informed her, obviously Not Amused. She could practically see the capital letters at the beginning of the words.

"I was half raised by the guy and no one has proven so far that I'm not his spawn. There's a running theory at my house. Ask Jas about it if he isn't too busy hitting on Evie. He'll tell you the whole conspiracy theory. He knows it all by heart. Now, are we done? I'm almost at a breakthrough and I need to finish this before James wakes up," Nova complained, her sentence breaking off into a yawn as she rubbed at her eyes halfheartedly. No breakthrough in sight, but there was definitely a large caramel macchiato in her future.

"No, we're not done. I need to talk to you about Bucky, when he isn't around to stop me," Steve informed her firmly. Nova looked up at him, waiting like an obedient puppy. If he could hurry up, she would still have time to pretend to sleep before James came looking for her. Well, theoretically. She never knew exactly when he was coming and she had emails to send and a few leads to look into about the Dugan stronghold and how someone could have leaked the information. There weren't many people outside the family who knew the location and no one in the family would throw the stronghold under the bus. It was their only safe house. "Are you listening?"

"About eighty two percent, which is all you're going to get," she admitted, glancing over her shoulder longingly. Steve cleared his throat and Nova's head snapped back around, hair falling in her face as she blinked wide, trying to keep herself awake and focused on Steve.

"I'll take it. Bucky likes you. He trusts you. I don't know why he chose you to latch onto, but it's there. If you're not careful, it could get out of hand. I don't want either of you to get hurt, but my loyalty is with Bucky to the end. So if you hurt him-" Steve cut off when Nova held up a hand, wrinkling her nose a little as she thought. Nibbling on her bottom lip, her brain whirled through the options.

Why the hell was he giving her the shovel talk? Wasn't that the dad's job? Then again, Bucky wasn't a girl and his dad was probably dead. Now that she thought about it, all of his immediate relatives were probably dead. Well, she knew his youngest sister was alive and living in a retirement home in Florida. Anyway, not the point. The point was that Steve was the only one around to give a shovel talk. But he didn't know they were casually making out. Okay, maybe Nova had been infected with _feelings_ , but James didn't know that part. Besides, what were her feelings anyway? He was hot, yeah, she acknowledged that on a daily basis. Who wouldn't? He made her knees weak. He listened to her talk. All of her words, not just the important or interesting bits. That was pretty rare in her life and she appreciated it.

Crushing on the assassin was a given. Who knew Nova would have a taste for the tall, dark, and deadly?

Was there more? She hadn't really thought about it. He was definitely a good friend, but he couldn't really be more without his consent. And he hadn't asked her out or anything. They hung out, but they weren't dating. Which was sad. She bet he put together an amazing date, if a little old fashioned. She was okay with old fashioned so long as he knew what feminism was and didn't try to make decisions for her.

"Are you seriously trying to warn me off your best friend? I don't mean to sound like a bitch, but don't you think he can get me to go away by himself if he wants to?" Nova asked, honestly perplexed. If James didn't want her around, there was no doubt in her mind that he could avoid her like a boss. Sure, that kind of turned her on, but it also confused her. Why did Steve care if she hung out with James? And besides the part where he would murder her in her sleep for taking his bestie's innocence, why would he care if she was making out with James? Didn't boy best friends give each other high fives over things like that? Maybe knock back a beer as congratulations?

"Bucky has a lot more experience in this world than any normal person. But he doesn't have much experience around women in this era," Steve started. Nova cut him off again, starting to shake her head.

"If you're about to shame me for having boyfriends before, don't even start. I don't want to explain to Evie why her boyfriend's coming home without a certain piece of himself that is essential for having my cute future nieces and nephews. Not that Evie would mind adopting. But she definitely would not be happy when I explained why that came about," Nova shot him a dangerous look, wondering if he remembered just who she was the spawn of when his face paled lightly. "Another thing, I wouldn't take advantage of James, so don't worry about it. I don't push him into anything. Accept maybe shopping, but that was fair and square, I won that bet. Besides, shouldn't you ask if James is uncomfortable with me first? I don't think he'd be happy to know that you're talking to me about staying away from him without his permission."

That shut Steve up for a good minute, which was actually a personal record with the man. He frequently lost his words when Nova was around, but she hadn't managed to get him so lost that he just stared at her blankly, like he was seriously surprised by her intellect. Considering the degrees under her belt, she was a little insulted that he didn't think she was smart. She'd taken a lot of classes full of men who underestimated her intelligence and she had kicked their asses in all the tests. Steve wouldn't be the first man she had to set straight when it came to just how smart she was.

Nova had absolutely no doubt that Steve came without James' permission. If James had told him that he wanted Nova gone, Steve would have burst in, told her to stay the fuck away, and jumped out a window into traffic to show how serious he was. It sounded stupid, but that was Steve. The only reason Nova didn't try out her new widow's bite design on him was because she knew how much Evie loved the jackass. If she wasn't aware of that, she would have shocked him to kingdom come just for a laugh. He was being a dick and unusually thick skulled. Especially when he trusted Nova with Evie. If he trusted her with Evie, why not James?

"Look, I'm telling you right now, you're insulting me, Evie, and James right now. And your own intelligence. You know me. Maybe not as well as Evie, but you trust Evie's opinion. The fact that you're here is throwing that out the window. I know Evangeline trusts me. You know she trusts me. You trust her opinion more than you trust your own. You don't listen often, but you trust her. And you know James. James is more perceptive than you're giving him credit for. If I was dangerous to him, I'd be dead. We both know it," Nova reminded him, shrugging her shoulders. It was something she'd come to terms with over the last couple of weeks. If James wanted her dead, she'd be dead. It was as simple as that. "They both seem to think I'm worth something. So, take a good look and try to decide. Are you going to throw me out the window on the common floor just to watch me go splat ninety stories down or are you going to trust us? I can promise to the moon and back that I don't want to hurt him, but it takes your belief for this to stop being a problem."

Steve still stared, seeming lost. Nova almost felt sorry for him, before she remembered that he'd basically just attacked her person and suggested that she would hurt James. She would never hurt James.

"Don't worry, you're still invited to Christmas. Mostly because I love Evie more than I hate you right now. Don't think that can't change though. I'm very versatile with my feelings. Now, get the hell out of my lab before I make you. Or worse, someone else notices you're here," Nova ordered, spinning back toward her work and switching back into scientist mode as she slid herself closer to the projection.

The stylus was just hitting the counter when she heard the elevator door open and a snarl of annoyance.

Shit.


	36. Bedtime

**Hey! What's up? So, I'm currently searching for a new beta for this story. If anyone is interested, PM me! Otherwise, I hope you enjoy the chapter, let me know what you think because I love hearing all about it!**

James blinked wearily at the scene before him, a snarl bursting past his lips before he could try to stop it and keep the element of surprise. Steve was standing behind Nova where she was curled up in front of one of her tables. Her head had been tilted down to see whatever it was she was writing, but the noise he made had her head snapping up. His tired mind took a moment to catch up, but when it did, he didn't like what he saw. He knew Steve had some sort of problem with Nova. The fact that he was behind her in her lab in the early hours of the morning made the thought stick out as James stalked forward, intent on separating them.

Whatever Steve had been planning, he wasn't going to get away with it now. He'd come for a specific reason, especially so early in the morning. He'd come when James wouldn't appear in the lab and no one else was awake, the thought chilling James to the bone. Steve wouldn't hurt Nova, he wasn't that stupid. Right? Either way, James was determined to get him the hell out of Nova's lab and possibly out of the building. Whatever distance was safe, even if it meant halfway around the globe.

"Okay, so, before you get into a rage about whatever you think is going on, me and Steve are cool," Nova's voice broke through his haze of burning rage, forcing his eyes to hers. It was dark in the lab, the Christmas lights bright stars along the ceiling. Nova's face was lit up from her table which looked like a version of Tony Stark's hologram tables. It made her eyes darker than usual, but they never strayed from him, as if she wasn't worried in the least about Steve's reaction.

Steve had been reacting badly to Nova ever since finding out that James was seeking her company actively. It could have been seen as dangerous if James had been in the wrong state of mind when it happened, but he kept the Asset away from her as much as he could. He didn't want Nova near the most dangerous parts of himself. She was the one who kept insisting it didn't bother her. Something about that seemed to bother Steve, who obviously didn't understand that someone could seek out James's company without trying to murder him in his sleep. As if he would let himself sleep around someone he didn't completely trust.

"I don't like it," James scowled at her fiercely, shooting a warning glare at his best friend, who backed up a step with his hands up in surrender. If he was going to harass Nova, they were going to have a problem. And problems with James usually ended in the other party dead.

"Bucky, Nova's completely safe. I wouldn't hurt her," Steve tried to interrupt but James ignored him adeptly. Steve might think Nova was safe with him, but that didn't mean she really was. If he dared to touch her in any way James would make sure Steve regretted the day he was born. No one hurt Nova. Not HYDRA, not Steve, not even James.

"Steve, I think it would be pretty appropriate for you to shut the fuck up right about now," Nova ordered, holding up a hand to stop the words that were obviously going to fall from his mouth. Steve froze, mouth halfway open. It only took a sharp glare from James for his mouth to close so fast his teeth clinked together. James tensed, fingers curling into fists as his lips curled in annoyance. "Hey, I know you're not happy to see Steve here, but no need to treat him like shit. We have an understanding that what you want comes first in our relationship. So don't start beating him up without a better reason."

James really wanted to hit something. Preferably something Steve related. It would definitely make him feel better. The urge to do something, anything to make this better overcame him and James took the few steps remaining so that he was hovering over Nova in her chair protectively. No one would be near her without his say so and that was more comforting than her words.

"Everything is fine. No need to become a human shield or anything. Don't freak out. Steve was just going to leave and go for a run. Weren't you Steve?" Nova pressed, turning to his best friend as she stood up from her chair. James reached out and anchored his human fingers around her wrist, holding her still and making sure she couldn't take a step toward Steve. He still wasn't sure what to believe. Waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat had prompted him to come check to see if Nova was sleeping like she should be. He hadn't been expecting Steve to be there. And the undiluted rage that came with the thought of Steve sneaking up when Nova's back was turned surprised him in its intensity.

"Yeah, I was going to go run. You could come with me, if you wanted," Steve offered, his eyes flickering between James himself and Nova. James could practically see him doing the math. If he tried to attack Nova, James would step in and deflect the attack. If he tried to attack James, Nova would do the same. It wasn't something she needed to do or even something that James wanted her to do. But Nova wasn't one to take an attack lying down and James knew she would be between him and Steve in a second if she thought it was going to get dangerous. Not because she thought she would win or even because she wanted to make a show of it. She was just someone who would step between those she loved and the enemy, no matter how dangerous.

"No," James shook his head in response to Steve's request, stepping up to crowd Nova's back.

"I'll see you in a while," Steve offered as calmly as he could, taking a few steps back to grab a dark jacket that was thrown over one of Nova's counters. James grit his teeth at the sight, wondering if Steve threw his coat on a lab table on purpose. Everyone knew Nova didn't like when people touched her things. She wasn't quiet about the issue and James knew that it had to rankle her to have someone disrespect her space so much. Over the time he spent in her presence, James knew more about Nova than what she just told him and her most prevalent pet peeve was people disrespecting her space. Considering the amount of time she spent in the lab, it wasn't a surprise.

"Go, get buff and romance my Evie. We'll talk to you after we calm down a bit," Nova informed Steve, throwing her free arm around James's neck in a half hug he hadn't been expecting. Slowly, his free arm came up to touch her waist gently, his surprise not dampening his reaction times in the least.

The significant look in Steve's eye didn't miss James's notice. Steve's gaze flickered between Nova and James, who met his eyes seriously. Yes, Nova had suggested that both of them needed to calm down. No, that wasn't true. James was fairly certain Nova wasn't having a problem with Steve's presence. She didn't look like she was in distress and her heart rate was steady and soothing. Her arm around his neck was a warm, comforting weight. She was steady and would probably remain that way. It was just another nice thing about Nova. She didn't call him out on scaring easily. Instead, she let him deal with it and helped if she could. As Nova caught on to the fact that Steve wasn't moving, she sent him an exaggerated wink that would have made James laugh if he wasn't already on guard.

Steve rolled his eyes and disappeared into the elevator as Nova kept hugging James, nuzzling her face into his chest and sighing like a great weight had been taken off her shoulders. James let her wrist go and wrapped both arms around her waist, being sure to keep his hands at an appropriate level as he held her. She wrapped her other arm up around his neck and buried her fingers in his hair as she relaxed fully against him, the tension running out of her body.

"When was the last time you slept?" James demanded, already knowing that the answer wasn't going to make him happy.

"Last night on the cot with you. Remember? We fell asleep after I repeatedly told you to stop touching LEW and you finally dragged me to bed," Nova reminded him, her voice slightly muffled by his chest. James pressed his eyes tightly closed for a moment, letting his brain fully wake up. He needed all four cylinders to argue with Nova.

"That was over twenty-four hours ago and you barely slept four hours," James countered, wondering if the universe thought it was funny to pair him with the most stubborn people on the planet. At least Steve had given him practice on how to deal with someone who was super stubborn and didn't bother to take care of themselves. Nova's complete disregard for her own mental and physical health seemed to dominate her life.

"It's fine. I slept some the night before. I think. Anyway, I have to work on this hologram so I can figure out what's in the tube so that I can figure out how to fix your arm before Christmas so that you have full use for opening presents. I'm telling you, I'm this close to a breakthrough and I just need to finish that and then look into some of the rumors about the Dugan compound location being leaked and then I think I can sleep," Nova rambled, pulling back to motion to the hologram table.

Rolling his eyes, James reached down and grabbed her waist, picking her up in one smooth movement to throw her bodily over his shoulder. Her weight rested against the connection of metal and flesh, the surprised flailing only adding to his determination to get her to go to bed at some point in the near future.

"Hey! We talked about manhandling me! I only like it in the bedroom! Or, I guess, the changing room. But the point of that is that I don't like it that you just carry me because you're annoyed and don't know what else to do. I thought we were friends. Do you do this to all your friends? Did you do this to Steve?" Nova complained, though she relaxed in his hold, her sharp hip bone digging awkwardly into the soft flesh near his neck.

"FRIDAY, please save Nova's work and shut down whatever she has going. And lock her out of her lab for at least eight hours," James started toward the elevator with the intent of dragging Nova out of her lab whether she liked it or not.

He could see how easy it would be in her lab to lose track of time. There were no windows and she kept certain sections dark when she wasn't using them. The white walls were spruced up for Christmas but gave no indication of what day or time it was supposed to be. There was no clock on the wall, nothing to remind her to eat or sleep. Instead, it was like a wormhole into a world without concrete time. James had lived that way for a long time and he hated it. Nova seemed to thrive there, theoretically. But he wondered how often she crashed, how many nights she'd fallen asleep on the hologram table. How many times had she gone all day without eating and no one was there to notice it?

"Hey! You can't do that! FRIDAY, no!" Nova started struggling again as James took the step that took them into the elevator. Monitors were turning off, swamping the area in darkness and James turned to watch the lights turn off one by one, enjoying the view and also enjoying Nova's devastated reaction.

"Make it nine hours," James added as the doors started to close. It was worth the knee to his kidney. Nova's aim impeccable.

"Of course, Sergeant Barnes. I apologize, Dr. Maddox. I have been programmed to help. I believe this will help you," FRIDAY informed them, the verbal equivalent of a sympathetic pat on the back with no real action taken in Nova's favor. James straightened a little, surprised that the AI agreed with him. Then again, this wasn't the first time he and FRIDAY had cooperated to get Nova to sleep more. FRIDAY had warned James before when Nova was awake for too long. Both of them had a vested interest in her health.

"But… my lab…" Nova slumped as she gave up fighting and James patted her thigh consolingly. The elevator doors opened and James stepped out into the hall that led to Nova's apartment. She wiggled, obviously trying to see where he was taking her. Instead of setting her down, James walked straight down to her place. FRIDAY unlocked the door for him and he walked in, taking Nova off of his shoulder and setting her on her feet as soon as the door closed behind her. "My apartment?"

The note of surprise and slight disgust caught James off guard. He knew she didn't like her apartment much. She was never in it and she seemed to live mostly in her lab. Even when they were in the rooms that were supposed to be hers, she was slightly awkward, like the space was completely new to her. All of the shelves were half full and most of the cupboards were empty. If James thought about it for a few moments, he could place all of the things that were missing. All of Evangeline's things that Nova hadn't bothered to replace.

"FRIDAY brought us here," James shrugged, watching her carefully. Nova turned to look at the place, brown eyes narrowed slightly and a wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows as she thought deeply. There was a noticeable lack of anything in the kitchen area. The last time James had been there, there was almost no food and what was there was mostly expired. The living room had a few movies and a few mechanic books, but not much else. James had taken a look in Evangeline's bedroom, just to see what was in there, and found nothing.

The room was completely cleaned out, some of the drawers slightly open but completely empty. There wasn't a crumb on the carpet. It was left probably the same way that Steve had left it when he'd moved Evangeline into his apartment.

James could understand why Nova would hate her apartment so much. It reminded her of the things she'd lost. Even if Evangeline wasn't dead, she was still someone Nova felt she was losing. Being in the apartment brought her pain, so she didn't go in. James wished life was that easy in general. Just not addressing the issues.

"Well, come on then. You want to sleep, yeah? Want to take over the tub? Or are we okay to sleep in my bed?" Nova chattered, rushing past the empty living room and into her room. James noted that the blankets he'd folded after he'd woken up the last time were still piled at the end of her couch, the pillow resting gently on top. Nova really hadn't been home since he'd seen her last. For some reason, that thought burned him, the air in his lungs solidifying for one terrible moment.

She needed help. He'd helped someone else in a similar situation before. He could do it again.

"Together?" James questioned, forcing himself to breathe past the lump and keep Nova engaged. She appreciated when he talked back to her. Asking questions made her happy because it meant he was listening. It was sad, but it seemed like someone had told her to be quiet more than once in her life. As if her completely unabashed version of the world wasn't something to protect.

"I'm pretty sure we're both adults here, James. Unless you have something you want to tell me," Nova teased, sticking her head out the door to her own bedroom. James rolled his eyes automatically in response, taking the last few steps to bring him into the doorway of her room.

He hadn't bothered to sneak into Nova's room the night he'd stayed over. Now he kind of wished that he had.

Her room was the only room in the house that was fully decorated and just as original as it should have been. One entire wall was plastered with posters of various bands. Some had names splashed across the front and others had simple symbols, all of them overlapping into a collage of chaos. A desk was shoved into the corner opposite the door on the left side, the top full of metal parts carefully set out in a specific order that probably belonged to one of her robots. Above her desk, a cork board was hung with various pictures pinned to the surface. It was a long, large board and it was completely filled with pictures of family and friends and ticket stubs and other memorabilia in paper format.

A few various clothing items were scattered along the floor, a shoe thrown haphazardly into the mix. Above her bed was a canopy of a light, filmy purple that hung from the ceiling. Taking up the wall opposite her bed were three large monitors. They were spread equally and anchored to the wall, obviously done professionally. Nova moved around the room easily, like someone who had lived there a dozen years and could walk the path asleep.

It was a special kind of beautiful.


	37. BFFs have the worst timing

**Hello, hello! So, I'm going to try and post every Friday from now on. (I know it's not Friday, I've already failed at this. Lol) Thanks for all the awesome reviews! Let me know what you think!**

"You know, I'm not going to push you out of bed," Nova tried for a little levity, relaxing a little when James wandered back over to the side of the bed she'd left open for him. He'd already secured the apartment and shut the door, making sure it was locked and dead bolted against intruders. As if someone was going to attack them while they were in the Tower.

It was interesting to see him in her space. Sure, Nova loved her lab dearly; it was far more personal to her than her bedroom. But she'd never imagined James in her bedroom. If he was in her bedroom, it was personal. Personal in a way she wouldn't have considered before. She wasn't sure how she felt about it being personal.

"I know," James nodded slightly as if affirming his statement before climbing into bed. He was dressed in one of his new pairs of sweatpants. They were black with symbol of a black widow spider on the right leg. A red hour glass shaped symbol that denoted Natasha. Nova had been the one who found them, but James was just as interested in supporting his teammate. They were fairly good friends, after all. His tee shirt was a plain dark grey that had no writing or logos on it. It was meant as an undershirt, but Nova didn't bother telling him that. He could wear his clothes however he pleased.

"You say that, but you're being careful not to touch me and haven't even gotten under the covers. I swear I'm not some bed hog, I won't get mad if you stay warm or get comfortable. It's not a big deal, we're two grown ass adults who can share a bed without making it weird, right? Or are you making it weird for shits and giggles?" Nova narrowed her eyes at James, considering him in the dark of her bedroom. He was a dark outline now that the lights were all out but Nova could practically feel the look he sent her.

Without saying a word, he started moving. The entire bed shifted with him, the mattress jolting a little as he executed some move that put him under the covers with her. Nova was already curled up, one pillow tucked between her arm and her head as she waited for James to make himself comfortable. Instead of adjusting himself like a normal person, he shifted again. This time, he threw an arm out, wrapped it around her waist, and dragged her the rest of the way across the bed into his arms.

"Hey!" Nova squeaked in surprise as she was suddenly pressed against his obscenely muscular frame. He managed to prop her pillow under her head with his arm supporting it, forcing her to change position to make room for him. One of her hands fell against his abdomen, the ripple of muscle there enough to start pulling heat to her cheeks. For once, Nova thanked the darkness surrounding them for giving her the cover to hide behind.

"You said to get comfortable," James informed her rather sassily, throwing one of his legs over both of hers and slipping his free arm around her waist. His cool palm pressed against the exposed skin of her lower back causing Nova to jerkinto him, trying to dislodge his hand where is was sending ripple of goosebumps up her back.

"Hey, ass hat, get your hand off of me, you're freezing!" Nova cried, batting at his chest gently. James's low chuckle rumbled through his chest and Nova felt it, an accompanying smile curling her own lips upwards. How could someone not smile if James was laughing? It was one of the rarest things on the planet to begin with and, when she was the person to make him laugh, an unnatural well of accomplishment rose in her chest.

"Why would I do that? You're right where I want you," James teased, ducking his head down so that his lips brushed against her ear. Nova snorted as his hand started to warm to her body temperature, his arm a comforting weight around her.

Accepting that there was no way she was going to get out of this without telling him to fuck off, Nova kicked her leg out to cover the one of his that was left unattended before slipping her free hand along his side, to his back. Settling into the position, Nova curled into James, letting her forehead fall against his chest and fisting her fingers in his tee shirt to hold him there. She felt the warm puff of his exhale brushing the top of her head and exhaustion caught up to her moments later.

Muffling a large yawn in his sternum, Nova nuzzled closer afterward, intent on getting a couple of hours of good sleep.

"See? You do need sleep," James hummed, his breathing starting to even out. Nova matched his breathing, asleep in seconds.

Something wet met Nova's shoulder, her sleep hazed mind slowly rising to consciousness. The same instance happened again and again, a wet suction at the back of her shoulder, at the top of her shoulder, and again closer to where her shoulder met her neck. Shrugging angrily, Nova groaned, stuffing her head back into her pillow and hoping whatever it was would go the hell away so she could sleep. The next time it happened, something clamped on for a moment, biting down.

The sharp pain sent Nova bolting upright, eyes flying open wildly in an attempt to locate the offender. Hands caught her as soon as she was upright, both warm though one was distinctly flesh while the other was a prosthetic Nova had been mooning over since first hearing about the theoretical concept. Storm blue eyes met her own and Nova scowled fiercely at the laughing assassin that was watching her with nothing less that absolute glee on his face. Those blue eyes were dancing as he observed her, rubbing his thumbs along her arms.

"Did you bite me?" Nova grumbled, reaching up to scrub at her eyes. James let her fall into his body, where she propped herself on his chest instead of assuming a completely upright position. His chest was still sleep warm and his tee shirt rumpled. His human hand came up to rub her back gently, obviously trying to help her wake up.

"You weren't responding to the nicer options," James informed her, as if biting her was the completely rational option that came after gentle nudging.

"Why do I even let you hang around?" Nova mumbled sleepily, nuzzling deeper into James's chest.

"You let me hang around to warn you that Evangeline and Steve are on their way to find you and that we should get out of bed in case they think we've done something we haven't," James informed her in a strangely talkative mood. Nova hummed lightly, not really caring what Evie thought. Evie would be upset that they hadn't told her if they were sleeping together, but they weren't having sex, so it was a moot point. It was Steve's rage Nova wanted to avoid like the plague. If he got mad at her, he could knock her head clean off. Literally. Not that he would on purpose. But he definitely wouldn't be happy and he was one of the only conceivable people Nova could think of that could actually get her kicked out of the Tower if he put his mind to it.

"I have a brilliant idea," Nova finally turned so her mouth was free of his rumpled tee shirt, glancing up to see a nice outline of James's perfect jaw. He wasn't bothering to look down at her, instead one hand brushing along her back and the other arm settled around her waist comfortingly while he stared up at the ceiling. "You get up and go to your apartment and I'll stay here and sleep until Evie tracks me down. It's a perfect alternative."

"Your ideas of perfect are a little warped," James informed her, pulling back from her just enough to be able to see her face. His lips were quirked slightly, dark lashes fanned over warm eyes. He didn't give a shit that she basically just tried to kick him out of her bed for a few more minutes of sleep, but Nova simply smiles at his response. Yeah, her ideas of perfect involved waking up to an ancient assassin with a state-of-the-art arm-turned-weapon-turned-back-to-arm. It wasn't like she could disagree with him. Her ideas of perfect were a little warped, after all.

"But I could make a hundred arguments for this. Listen, number one is that you're already awake and have to go away to get dressed while I, on the other hand, have a bunch of clothes still tucked in the drawers here. Number two is that you're the man and should, even though I'm a devout feminist, chivalry isn't dead is it?" Nova teased, knowing that she shouldn't make him leave. Hell, she didn't even want him to leave, which was all sorts of fucked up because Evie and Steve could appear at any moment. Evie had a habit of showing up at the absolute worst moments possible without any forewarning. "Number three is that this is my apartment and I say so. Should that have been number one? Maybe that's number one and number one is number two and number two is number three? Or would number two stay number two and number one flip down to number three?"

"Okay, calm down," James chuckled, shaking his head a little as he sat up straighter. Nova was dragged with him and then he's shuffling her off the bed with all the grace of a man who knew how to get what he wanted. She would have argued more if she wasn't kind of curious about what he was going to do now. "Coffee first, then talking."

"Why?" Nova barely constrained herself to the one word, wanting to demand all the answers she knew he held.

"Why? Because at least after coffee you make sense," James informed her, motioning toward the door as if to tell her to go out first. Nova shrugged and accepted this as fact. It wasn't like she didn't already know that she didn't make sense to regular humans. James was no regular human and she was pretty sure he understood her almost eighty percent of the time. Unlike the rest of the human population on earth, who only understood her twelve percent of the time.

"I agree. Coffee sounds like a fantastic idea," Nova started out of the bedroom, not too surprised when James didn't follow after her immediately. Assuming he'd gone to the bathroom or something, Nova started into her kitchen to the coffee maker that Evie had thankfully left behind, choosing a small cartridge to put in. It was a nice caramel mocha that she intended to inhale. She'd gotten the mug under the spout when James came after her. She didn't actually see him, instead heard the footsteps he was obviously making louder for her benefit. If he didn't want her to know he was there, she wouldn't know.

"They're almost here," James informed her, Nova watched the first little dribble of coffee before turning to look at James, blinking in surprise at the sight of him fully dressed, standing behind her like there was nothing weird about seeing him in jeans and an obscene Christmas sweater with a large print of Santa's sleigh and the reindeers across the front where Rudolph's nose actually sparkled in the low lighting of the kitchen. Honestly, even without the surprise costume change, it would have been something to think about for a moment.

"You're wearing Jas's sweater," Nova pointed out dumbly, not really sure how else to ask what the hell he was wearing and where it had come from in a calm tone of voice without bursting into laughter. James had an unnatural affinity for striking her speechless.

"You gave it to me," he reminded her, narrowing his eyes slightly and cocking his head. His hair fell over his shoulder and Nova motioned for him to come closer, choosing to ignore the mysterious appearance of his clothing until they had time to properly talk about it. Right now they needed to prepare for Evie and Steve. Because there were bound to be questions when two adults were found in the same apartment in the morning. It was stupid, because she seriously wasn't having sex with James.

That wasn't to say that she was opposed to the idea. If he was willing… Yeah, better to not go there because that was a well she didn't need to drown in.

"Come on, I'm fixing your hair. Just your luck that Evie leaves ponytails in a trail behind her wherever she goes," Nova teased as James moved to stand before her, turning his back and crouching so she could actually reach his hair and see what she was about to do. "Only, I'm not doing messy bun for you today. No sir, I'm giving you Thor braids because I think you'll look hot in them."

"I look hot in anything," James informed her just as she started sectioning pieces of his hair for the braids she was planning. Nova's surprised laughter burst from her lips just as the door to the apartment opened and Evie and Steve walked in.

Both Evie and Steve stared at them like they'd never met them before. Nova's fingers buried in James's hair and she was leaning up against his back. His hands had come up to catch her against him, still perfectly balanced, and Nova let out another peal of laughter when she realized that their questions were about to get a lot more uncomfortable. Because there was no way they were going to see this and let it go. And for some reason that made Nova laugh harder.

"I'm not asking," Evie announced into the silence that came as soon as Nova calmed down. Evie walked right into the apartment without waiting for Steve. Instead, she swiped Nova's coffee from the counter as soon as it was done and made her way to the couch just like she would have had she still lived there. Nova felt a sharp ache of loss in her chest, wishing that it was true, that Evie had never left. Okay, maybe she wouldn't have met James if Evie was still her roommate. And that would suck. But couldn't everything be the same accept Evie just still lived with her?

"Good, we don't want to share our secrets with you anyway," Nova huffed, snickering again as she focused back in on James, pushing the empty feeling in her chest back. He was leaning against her legs now, propping himself up as he had some sort of intense stare-off with his best friend. Steve was just standing in the doorway, looking shocked and not sure how to feel about it. Nova hoped he didn't jump to hate because that wouldn't be cool.

It wasn't really Nova's prerogative to get into a fight with Steve. He just made it so easy by getting upset over stupid things. Like her being friends with James. Was it so odd that James might like to hang around with her? She knew people found her annoying. And hyper and talkative and a hundred other things that usually ended around bitchy. It wasn't that she didn't try to be welcoming and nice. Her mouth just had an unfortunate habit of going faster than her brain and sometimes the words that came out were offensive when she didn't mean them to be. James, thankfully, saw past that and understood her intentions instead of just her words. Steve; not so much.

Starting to braid, Nova let her fingers work with the familiar motions, James's hands still firm against her calves. Steve slowly, so slowly Nova questioned his health, made his way into the room. He gave them a wide birth, watching as Nova wove strands of hair deftly. Trying not to let his stubborn silence bother her, Nova turned her complete attention to James, whose grip on her legs tightened fractionally when Steve had to get closer to them to slip between the chair and the couch so he could sit beside Evie.

"Almost done," Nova promised in a low murmur so Evie, at least, couldn't hear. Steve had better hearing than any of them and Nova knew it. But she was going to do her best to make sure that James was comfortable, Steve's feelings be damned. James didn't answer her, but he didn't have to. She was used to his silence.

"So, while you're doing that, I have some information on the chatter coming up about home," Evie started, her voice taking on a more crisp, business-like tone. James's entire body seemed to tighten and Nova knew that he was listening, the hands on her calves becoming steel bands. Ignoring that uncomfortable thought, Nova glanced at Evie. "Maria's been working on it too. We came up with a few sources but not much we didn't already know. Obviously, the Dugan compound is a target for HYDRA. It's a safe house for the Legacies and Grandpa Dugan has put more than a few wrenches in their plans."

"Wrenches? I'm pretty sure he hotwired their plans and blew them straight to hell," Nova teased, turning back to James for a moment. "Here, hold this piece. Just pinch the end between your fingers and I'll take it from you in a minute."

James did as she asked, carefully pinching the braid she'd handed him between his human fingers, his slow release of her leg enough proof that he wasn't feeling particularly comfortable. She didn't blame him. He wasn't quite sitting with his back to Steve and Evie, but it was close. And that wasn't cool when Steve was still acting kind of like a dick. Not to mention that James preferred having eyes on the entire room when he could. It was part of his conditioning.

"You know what I mean. HYDRA isn't happy with our family. We're too big of a threat and have too big of a network. If they take the Dugan family out, they'll have too big of an advantage. It would be a spiral that SHIELD wouldn't survive," Evie reminded her, as if she could ever forget her family's involvement in the agency. Still, Nova kept her mouth shut as she took the braid in James's fingers and tied it to another braid that she'd made on the opposite side of his head with a small ponytail holder.

"I thought your family retired from SHIELD service?" James spoke, surprising Nova a bit. She patted the top of his head after tying off two more braids, happy with her work. James pushed off of her and rolled to his feet in one easy move that Nova was immediately jealous of.

"We did. Most of the Legacy families did. We've lost too many good agents from the fuckup that is SHIELD. It's better to work on our own. But that doesn't mean that we don't provide certain services if asked by the right people. There are a few Legacies who chose to stay with SHIELD and we protect our own. If they need information or help with something, we give them what they need," Nova explained, turning to the coffee machine. James stayed by her side, watching as she pulled another mug out of the cupboard. This was the last mug in the house and Nova silently judged herself. Did she really have so few useful belongings?

"There have always been people trying to infiltrate the Dugan house. Luckily, we're fairly adept at avoiding those people. Maria is already looking into all the known cases of possible infiltration, but no one is raising red flags yet. I'm back tracing a few emails, but the people who are tracking the information are good. It could take years to track them down at this rate," Evie reminded them. Nova just sighed, wishing she could curl into James's side and forget that the outside world was so fucked up for just today.

A warm hand brushed the back of hers and Nova glanced up, her eyes meeting James's. He was already watching her. His lips twitched and her automatically softened into a small smile, the tension falling from her shoulders. Maybe the world was fucked up, but she'd lived through all the bad days so far. They could figure out who was trying to infiltrate her home so long as they worked together to figure it out. If anything, at least she had some really kickass superheroes on her side.


	38. Jitterbug

**Jitterbug Video:** watch?v=p1fwq3tP7cg

 **Hello, hello! So, this chapter is amazing, if I do say so myself. I loved writing it and I hope you guys love it as much as I do! Check out the video link for the dance moves (if the link doesn't work, let me know. It's called Jitterbug Dancing on YouTube and totally what I imagine.) I hope everyone's having a great start of the year! Thanks for all the awesome reviews and love. I seriously have no idea how you guys read the chapters so fast. I get some reviews like minutes after I post and it baffles me. I'm so glad you all love it! Enjoy!**

"Why don't you have FRIDAY tracking the hack in the system?" Nova demanded, curled up with her Stark Pad on the chair in her living room. James was leaning against the arm of the chair, insistent that he was fine where he was, though Steve kept shooting him suspicious looks. When Nova had finally given up arguing and curled into the cushions, James had counted it as a personal win.

"I do have her looking into it, but it's going to take more than that. I don't know if we'll identify them this way or not. But there has to be something we can do to discourage an attack," Evangeline hummed, her own Stark Pad at her fingertips. Steve was seated next to her, one arm thrown over the back of the couch and his attention fluttering around the room. Evangeline didn't even notice when Steve moved his arm from the back of the couch to her shoulders, pulling her gently back into his chest. She just went with the motion.

James wished it was that easy with Nova. Well, theoretically. If it was that easy, she wouldn't be Nova. But he wanted that easy manner. He wanted to belong in Nova's life irreparably. He wanted to curl around her every night. It didn't matter if they were kissing or she was telling him about her projects. For once, he found a woman that he actually just liked to be around. That was something he didn't remember in any lifetime. Steve was luckier than he knew to have Evangeline, who accepted him no matter what. Nova was much the same, but James wasn't always sure where he stood with her. There was just something about Nova that made him rethink everything that happened between them over and over again.

"We're bringing in four Avengers for Christmas. You can't tell me that we're not doing what we can to give out a deterrent," Nova reminded Evangeline, clicking a few things on her screen. James glanced over the information, not able to understand most of it. It seemed to be some sort of tracking sheet, but that was all he could understand about it. There were coordinates, letters, and numbers in specific orders he couldn't read. Whatever they were looking at together, it seemed to make sense to them and them alone.

"You know that's not enough. I've already sent up the warning flag. Mama said that you two should come with us in the jet. It would be safer and you wouldn't have to drive all the way there," Evangeline's golden eyes focused on Nova, who glanced up and rolled her eyes dramatically at the sight of her best friend trying to beg her into ignoring her plans.

If James wasn't so aware of the disproval that was radiating off of Steve, he would have smirked at just the thought that someone could change Nova's mind so easily. There wasn't a more stubborn dame in all the world.

"I do this drive every year, Evie. You know how it is. I need to get my driving practice in and I need to get the hell out of this Tower for a few days. Once Christmas comes around I'm going to have to deal with my entire family trying to trap me in the house so I can't come back to the Tower. I just need a few days to prepare myself. It's not going to be a long trip. Just one night. It's not like I'm going alone," Nova added, tapping James on the arm pointedly. He wondered if he could duck out of this conversation when Evangeline's eyes met his and he could see the fire burning behind them. The one that had intrigued him the first time they met.

He still remembered her sitting down on the stool next to him at that Stark party, hair in wild curls and a smile on her lips. She'd acted as though they were old friends. He'd known she was Seraphim before that day, of course. He'd looked into the mysterious voice who told him what to do on missions. James didn't take orders from just anyone. Especially considering Steve had such a crush on the woman. James had been dogged in his tracking, making sure she was someone they could trust. He had decided to trust her but hadn't expected her to talk to him so readily.

In another life, Evangeline might have been someone he could see himself with. She was pretty with her pixie features and the curls that swallowed her whole. Her personality was bigger than her and it was almost funny to see her order Steve around because she was about a foot shorter than him. But James didn't feel anything other than vague affection looking at Evangeline. He'd always known she belonged with Steve, from the moment he'd heard Seraphim talk to them for the first time. It took Steve a while, but they'd worked it out.

Some buried part of him flashed a familiar face behind his eyelids. Brown hair and chubby cheeks. Sparkling eyes and teeth flashing in a reckless smile. The image blurred into Evangeline and James put the thoughts together in an order that made sense.

He thought of Evangeline just as he'd thought of his sisters while he was Bucky.

"You okay?"

Bucky flinched back into his body, eyes flickering around the room quickly before settling on the pretty dame with the chocolate eyes that was leaning close to him, inquisitive and obviously worried. He didn't know what he'd done in another life to deserve the dame's worry, but he was thanking God for whatever it was in this moment.

"Perfectly fine, sweetheart," Bucky's accent slipped through and a confident grin grew on his lips. The dame already liked him, he could tell. It would take less than a moment to get her to agree to a dance or two, if he was the gentleman his ma taught him to be.

"Ah, Bucky, I missed you. It's been a while," Nova, such an odd name for such a pretty face, smiled at him happily as her eyes lit up. Warmth spread through his blood at just the sight of her smile and Bucky leaned forward, surprised when the dame didn't lean back. Instead, she held her ground, meeting his gaze with the same solid intensity he knew he was exuding. A smile started to curl his lips and the dame before him raised a challenging eyebrow.

A little moxie never hurt no one.

"Been too long's more like it. Pretty girl like you sitting at home on a night like this, that might as well be a crime," Bucky pushed to his feet, reaching out a hand for the dame to take in one swift move. He couldn't quite remember where they were, but there had to be a place to dance around the corner or so. The dance halls were almost always open and Bucky was determined to take the dame out for a night of fun. Impressing her was the first step, after all.

"Buck?" a familiar voice spoke behind him and Bucky turned slightly, keeping his hand out for Nova. He wasn't going to abandon her just because someone else was interrupting.

"Stevie!" Bucky felt a slim hand slip into his and then it was gone. His eyes flicked to Nova, who was standing now, close enough that he could sling an arm around her shoulder if the mood struck him. The thought brought about images of her, inches from him, lips bruised from kisses and his hands trailing along her back. He had to shake himself bodily to stop thinking about it, turning to face his best friend. After that crazy serum, Steve had grown taller than Bucky. It was a bit odd to look up to meet Steve's gaze, but Bucky was determined. If he could, he would make sure it was just like old times no matter where in the world they were.

Strolling up to Steve, Bucky slapped him on the back, turning to face Nova and another woman that had stood up as well. Her arm was in a sling and her hair was curling all over the place, swallowing her whole. Instead of walking toward them, the other woman stood next to Nova, eyeing him curiously, as if she'd never seen him before. Bucky didn't remember her, but maybe she was a dame he'd met before once or twice. Pretty face, but Nova was next to her and that was all Bucky really felt like focusing on.

"Bucky, you're back," Steve whispered the words like he was afraid of spooking him and Bucky snorted, shaking his head.

"Ignore his manners, always been atrocious," Bucky threw toward the dames they were standing in front of, surprised when Steve suddenly yanked him into a tight, rib splitting hug that Bucky hadn't been prepared for. Patting at his back comfortingly, Bucky wondered what was going on in his best pal's mind. It wasn't like he'd been gone long.

"I can't believe you're still here," Steve muttered as he dropped Bucky back on his feet. Bucky shrugged his shoulders uncomfortably, unsure what was going on but knowing that it was upsetting Steve.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, I've been getting to know this beautiful dame over here while I was away," Bucky bodily turned Steve to look at Nova, blatantly ignoring the other woman for a moment. Leaning against Steve's shoulder so he could speak into his ear, James whispered, "I'm gonna marry her someday, just you wait."

Steve choked on air, coughing raggedly while Bucky turned to saunter up to Nova.

"We should dance. Don't you think?" Bucky was taking her hand without giving her an opportunity to say no, swinging her in a twirl she executed beautifully.

"FRIDAY, get me some of the oldies on." Nova called into thin air. "We can dance right here if you're ready."

Bucky decided not to ask questions when familiar music swelled in the room. He was already pulling Nova close, pressing their bodies together as his left hand cradled Nova's right and his right hand slid to rest against the small of her back, gently directing her in the dance. Her smile lit up her face and her chocolate eyes were sparkling as he spun them both, twirling her around the room with practiced ease.

There wasn't much room to dance, but Steve was already moving furniture out of the way, clearing the floor space. The other dame was watching them from her new perch on the counter to the kitchen, a wide smile stretching her lips. Bucky didn't get a very good look at her because he was too focused on making sure his dance moves were correct and he wasn't about to step on Nova's feet. Muscle memory seemed to take over most of the time as he deftly twirled her away from him and back again, catching her tightly against his chest as she laughed genuinely.

"We should definitely do this more often. I don't get to dance with other people nearly enough. Then again, I don't think I could find a partner half as handsome as you," Nova informed him with a laugh as the music changed and the tempo picked up.

"You know the Jitterbug, sweetheart?" he asked, wondering if she'd had any sort of training in those sorts of dances.

"I want to Jitterbug!" the other woman cried, throwing herself bodily off the table. Steve was right there to catch her in his arms. Apparently, he'd gotten better with women since Bucky had last seen him because the smaller woman was dragging him onto the dance floor without bothering to wait for excuses he would surely make up.

"I can't say I'm any good, but let's give it a shot," Nova allowed, letting Bucky pull her closer. They fit together well, his hand dipping to her lower back while her chin bumped his shoulder before she tilted it up and rested her chin on his shoulder for a moment. Bucky tightened his fingers reflexively around hers, wondering what Steve would do if he kissed Nova right here, in the middle of a living room, in front of at least two other people. Would he get upset?

Steve was no angel, but he had a very high sense of decency when it came to the dames. If Bucky stepped out of line, Steve wouldn't hesitate to punch him just like he'd punched a hundred other men in the same manner. It was something Bucky appreciated most days. Right now, he'd have preferred to kiss Nova.

"Okay, dancing man, show me what you got. I'm going to be honest with you, I don't dance much. Like, around my lab I do because I'm alone and no one can see me and it's safe. Relatively safe? But I don't go out in public, so if I step on your toes I really don't mean to and it's nothing personal. You've been a great dancer so far, so it will be my fault if we fall or something," Nova rushed as the beginning notes of "Call of the Jitterbug" hummed through the speakers. "I just don't want you to think that it's your fault because Steve is like that sometimes and that's bullshit but I just want you to know. I'm not really adept at much that involves me being careful and paying attention to something for a long period of time."

"You'll do fine, doll face. Now, let yourself loosen up a bit and we can have some fun. I won't even get upset if you step on my toes," Bucky promised. Nova's lips slowly straightened out of their frown, an automatic smile pulling at his features as he realized she was getting more comfortable.

"If you were throwing a dance party, you should have called," another voice interrupted. Bucky turned with Nova to see who it was, her entire torso still pressed against him. Standing just inside the door was a beautiful redhead and a blond man with a shirt with a target painted across the front. Bucky wasn't sure who they were, but Nova made no move to pull away, so he figured they had to be friends of hers.

"Jump in," Bucky waved them over and both of them turned to look at him for a moment. One imperious red eyebrow raised before the woman was pulling her partner into the cleared space without a word. Nova's fingers tightened around Bucky's and he thought for a moment that maybe he'd gotten the wrong idea. But then she relaxed and the music started to quicken, pulling Bucky into the moment as his body started moving to the beat before he made a conscious decision to.

Nova kept her head tilted down to watch their feet as he showed her how to move, sure to keep both hands on her in some fashion at all times. He'd gotten the most beautiful dame in the room to dance with him and only him, he wasn't about to pass that opportunity up. Especially when the redhead's blond friend kept shooting him suspicious looks.

With some gentle guidance, Bucky got Nova to swing out and dance back to him, her little jig swiveling her hips in a way that made his mouth water. As soon as she was within reaching distance, Bucky caught her hand and yanked her back into his chest, her laughter muffled as she landed there. Her arms curved around his waist and squeezed, fingers tangling in the back of his sweater for a moment. Bucky smoothed a hand over her riotous hair before letting her pull back and continuing their dance.

Steve was easily throwing the other, smaller woman around the room, her laughter ringing to them as she twisted and turned with the music, seeming content to let Steve do what he wanted while they danced. The other couple in the room were much sterner, their movements obviously practiced. Bucky wasn't sure if they taught a class on the jitterbug, but obviously someone had drilled into them some specific ideals. The redhead was too mechanical while her blond friend tried to get her to loosen up. Still, he was stiff, almost like he was waiting for something to happen. What they could be waiting for, he had no idea.

"This is awesome," Nova squealed as James caught both of her hands and they swung their hands together, feet shuffling from side to side in unison. Bucky grinned in answer, agreeing. So what if the other couples were a little odd? Nova was having fun and that was what mattered when a guy took a dame out dancing. "I know you don't know those two over there, but they usually have unusually large sticks shoved up their asses. Well, the redhead does anyway. The blond is too busy fucking with everyone to notice. Plus, you finally got your pal over there to calm the hell down, which has been my goal since he showed up. You'd think I had the plague or something with the way he treats me. Don't get too uppity about it though, he seems to have calmed down."

Now, Bucky wasn't a wet blanket, he hung around with a pretty lively crowd of fellas and dames alike, but Nova had a mouth on her the likes of which he'd never heard from a lady. It was a shock, but not an altogether bad one. He didn't mind a bit of moxie in a gal and Nova had plenty to go around. If she bothered Steve a little bit, well, that was just a nice little perk, wasn't it?

"If Stevie ever bothers you again, bring him to me. I'll straighten him out for you," Bucky promised, swinging her through the next turn and catching her waist to lift her lightly. He spun her over his shoulder, sure to set her firmly on her feet before turning to catch her hands. Wide chocolate eyes met his, lit with delight.

"Again! Again, again, again!" she cried, bouncing up and down right where she was. Bucky laughed good-naturedly and caught her again, surprised at how easily she let him twirl her in the air. This time he swung her feet to his left, to his right, and then to the left again, this time flipping her over his arm deftly. Nova's shrieks of laughter echoed through the room and Bucky jumped when she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "That's so much fun! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Bucky gently hugged her back, glancing up to see that Steve was watching them, having stopped dancing with his dame to see why Nova was shrieking, probably. He always was a bit nosy. Not that Bucky could blame him, that was his influence wearing through Steve's standup morals.

"No need to thank me, sweetheart. The pleasure of dancing with you was more than enough," Bucky grinned down at her. It was true. He wanted nothing more than to continue dancing with Nova all night. He had a feeling that Steve wouldn't let him. There was something about Steve that seemed off, as if he didn't understand Bucky's preoccupation with the red haired woman in his arms. How his friend didn't see the beauty that lay within Nova, Bucky didn't know. All he knew was that he preferred no one else see it until he could secure some sort of promise from the woman herself. Once he was sure she was just as interested in him as he was in her, he would make sure everyone knew just how wonderful she really was.

"Ah, what a suck up," Nova smiled at him, her words foreign and laughing. Bucky didn't particularly care for the meaning of the phrase. All that mattered was that she was happy. "I'm not sure what you want, but compliments will only get you so far. Of course, take off your shirt and we could talk a little more about this."

"If you insist…" Bucky started, interrupted when Steve bodily pulled Nova out of his arms. His immediate reaction was to laugh until he saw Nova's outrage at being manhandled. "Why don't you put the dame down, Steve?"

"You just want to get your ass kicked today, don't you? What did you think I was going to do, start stripping him? It was a joke, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!" Nova cried. The words echoed in Bucky's mind for a moment.

With a swiftness that left him breathless, James was back in his body, knees giving out under the weight of the memories that assaulted him.

"James!" Nova called for him. His head started to lift to find her, his automatic reaction when she wasn't near enough to reach out and touch. Usually, if he was with her when he lapsed, she was there when he woke up. The fact that she wasn't with him put him on high alert and he fought the swirling of his thoughts. His stomach rebelled as he turned slightly toward where he could hear her struggling against something, but he didn't find her before another voice filled the room.

"Jesus Christ, did you bite me?" Steve's voice asked dubiously. Accompanying his words was the thump of a body hitting the floor and then James's eyes found Nova. She was on the floor near Steve's feet, wiping at her mouth with her nose wrinkled so that the freckles waved over her skin. As soon as she noticed his attention, she threw herself at him, crossing the feet between them in a scramble.

"I don't know if I can let you kiss me when you take the Lord's name in vain," Evangeline's voice was background noise as Nova flew into his chest, her fingers catching his face in a protective hold as she checked him over, her fingers running over his forehead, cheeks, and nose. James caught her by the waist, keeping his hands at an appropriate level so as not to encourage the various enemies in the room.

Not enemies.

Combatants.

No.

Friends.

"Are you okay? It didn't hurt or anything, did it? Is Bucky different from not-James? Obviously he's different, but I mean like changing personalities or whatever. I get that the personalities are different, obviously, but is it different coming back now than it is from coming back from not-James?" Nova flung a slew of questions at him and James sighed, pulling her into his chest without allowing her to fight it. She caved willingly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pressing against him tightly.

The fingers of one hand curled into his hair, cupping the back of his head. The other hand fisted in his shirt like she could hold him there by sheer force of will alone. If anyone could do such a thing, Nova would be able to.

"Just a little nauseous. Nothing to worry about," James murmured soothingly, looking up to meet Steve's eye. Something was wrong. Maybe not wrong, but different. Going through Bucky's memories was like going through soup, pushing through the unimportant bits toward what he wanted to remember. He clearly remembered convincing Nova to dance with him, but before that, when Steve was still unsure about them dancing…

He'd told Steve he was going to marry Nova someday.

Well, shit.


	39. Apologies are the Best

**Sorry for the late update, I lost a chapter in my email. Oops. So, here it is, the beautiful next chapter. There will be hugging, so be ready for that. Hopefully everyone had a great week and I hope you're all going to have an awesome Valentine's Day! Happy (early) Valentine's Day!**

"Steve's being weirder than usual. Why is Steve being weirder than usual?" Nova demanded of Evie, who was sitting on the mats next to her, watching the two men in their lives spar. They moved with a grace that belied their deadly strength, almost a dance. It was enthralling to watch, but Nova was more focused on the memory of Steve slowly handing her a cup of coffee that morning, as if he was trying to make peace with her. Why would he want that? He didn't seem to like her much and he was totally against her being friends with James, which meant Nova wasn't his biggest fan at the moment either.

"I'm not sure. He won't tell me anything more than that James said something odd to him when he was still Bucky. Which, why didn't you tell us he was having memory lapses? Why didn't anyone tell me?" Evie demanded, smacking at Nova's arm lightly. Nova scooted a bit away, holding up her hands in surrender.

"Uh, maybe because you almost died and we wanted to save you the stress? Why Steve didn't tell you before, I have no fucking idea. I only found out because James smashed the sink in his bathroom and FRIDAY called me because I was the only other person in the building that could be trusted. I didn't even know what was going on then," Nova explained, settling into her new spot. She'd actually come down to work out as well. James insisted that she learn how to defend herself, as if she hadn't stood a fighting chance against him the last time they'd fought. "No one explained it to me and he didn't seem to want to talk about it. I only figured it out later. He never really told me about it. His memory lapse happened again and it was easy to guess. Which was kind of terrifying, but whatever."

Working out only entertained Nova until Evie came down, her sling firmly in place this time. Apparently, Pepper had seen her leaving her apartment and forced her back in to get her sling before letting her leave the floor. Nova had laughed for a solid five minutes about that.

"He's my friend too. I care about him too," Evie complained, nose wrinkled as she glared at the men.

"I don't think he wants people to know. I think he's the kind that thinks it makes him weak, even when it doesn't. I'm not going to be the one to tell on him if he doesn't want someone to know something. It's not my fault he was keeping his secrets. Besides, we both know you were supposed to be resting on your vacation, not worrying endlessly that James might turn into Bucky or not-James and accidently kill me," Nova huffed, tilting her head when James hit Steve hard enough to send him flying a good few feet, sprawling on his back just inside the mats. Instead of worrying, Nova clapped, smirking when James shot her a cheeky wink.

"He's like a different person with you," Evie mentioned, voice low so that neither of the super soldiers would hear her. James probably did anyway, he was closer than Steve. But Nova didn't mind. It wasn't like it was a secret that James had improved the last month or so.

"Good. I pride myself on being an excellent momma bear. I'm just kidding. I just let him do what he wants. It's not like I've done anything in particular to make him better," Nova shrugged, finger waving at Steve when he slowly pushed into an upright position. Evie blew him a kiss that he rolled his eyes at gently, obviously noticing that they were teasing him.

"I think just your presence helps him," Evie informed her, shaking her head a little. It was in that moment that James looked over at them, eyes meeting Nova's as if to check that she hadn't moved from where she'd been literally five seconds ago. Nova felt a smile tilt her lips and saw James's shoulders relax, the move was so drastic. He turned back to Steve and held out a hand to help him up, carefully keeping his prosthetic away. It was sad that he still wasn't comfortable with it being close to others. It was a part of him whether he liked it or not and she wanted him to love himself, all of himself.

"I think you're full of shit," Nova giggled when Evie elbowed her with her good arm, shaking her head in exasperation.

"You know what I mean. You told me you kissed him. Have you since?" Evie pressed, raising a challenging eyebrow. Nova quickly looked away, eyes snapping to the ceiling and wondering if Heimdall would beam her up if she asked politely enough. She'd never met the Asgardian, but he was rumored to hear all. Shouldn't he be able to hear her desperate plea to disappear? "You have, haven't you? Not looking at me isn't going to help your case. Spill."

"Look… Look at his face! I mean, come on, could you say no to a face like that?" Nova complained, motioning violently to James, whose shoulders were starting to tense a little as Steve started throwing punches and kicks that he was blocking like a pro. Every once and a while James would throw a punch back, but Nova knew he was listening. It wasn't any physical give that let her know. Nope, she could just sense his attention from across the room. "It doesn't help that he's a pretty great person. I never even stood a chance, Evie. I mean, I tried not to kiss him again. But he kissed me the second time of his own volition. It was after I decorated his apartment. And when we were shopping. Did you know that getting shoved up against a wall and being debauched is seriously the best way to go about making out?"

"I prefer sitting on something. Desk, dresser, things like that. But yes, I know what you mean. So, is he a good kisser?" Evie demanded, wide eyes on Nova's face. Nova snorted and, if she hadn't been watching him, she'd have never noticed James's stuttering step after hearing the question. It made Nova laugh, throwing an arm around Evie's shoulders and hugging her tightly.

"Of fucking course. Kisses like a goddamn rock star. I would say porn star, but I feel like porn stars aren't all that good at kissing," Nova informed her best friend, cackling happily when James completely missed a block and ended up thrown against the floor.

Steve stood over him for a moment, blinking in astonishment. It wasn't a particularly fancy move and it was obvious he'd expected it to be blocked. A glance at Evie and Nova seemed to answer whatever questions he had and Nova stifled the rest of her laughter the best she could, pulling away from Evie to press a hand over her mouth.

"You're cruel and unusual. But I was curious because Steve's a pretty good kisser. Do you think it's a forties thing?" Evie mused, propping her chin up on her good hand while watching Steve help James up off the floor. They were speaking to one another in a low murmur, but Nova couldn't hear what they were saying. She had a feeling she didn't want to when James's frown became more pronounced. He was careful not to glance at her, but Steve gave himself away immediately by letting his gaze flick to her.

"I think you haven't kissed enough men. Good kissing comes from lots of practice. I wouldn't mind a marathon of practice with James. I already knew that James was into the ladies and the fellas, though, so it doesn't really bother me. Grandpa told me more than once that James was a heartbreaker," Nova hummed, mimicking Evie's pose and tapping her fingers lightly against her jawline.

"If he breaks your heart, I'll break more than just his face," Evie snarled, shooting a warning glare at James's back. As if he had been listening, James turned to look at them, starting forward with a purpose. Ignoring his impending approach, Nova glanced sideways at Evie.

"You'll be first in line, but my entire family is going to be after you, so don't hurt him too badly. There has to be something left for the others to break," Nova teased, smiling when Evie's smile returned. They both looked back up as the boys approached. James didn't hesitate to reached down and help Nova up, warm hand meeting her fingertips as she decided to let him help her. Steve practically picked Evie up and set her gently on her feet, her roll of the eyes noted and ignored valiantly.

"Listen, Nova, I was hoping we could talk for a minute," Steve turned to her, looking her in the eye honestly for the first time in a while. Nova's head tilted back slightly as she considered him, eyes narrowing as her mind worked through what he could possibly want.

If he was going to warn her off again, she was going to punch him. It would probably break a few bones in her hand, but it would definitely be worth it. Then again, he could be wanting to apologize. Maybe claim he'd been hit over the head and had a concussion and that was why he was being a dick. She might forgive him if he apologized and stopped bugging her. She knew that James and Steve were the bestest friends to ever best friend. Well, right after her and Evie. The boys needed one another. It was as simple as that. Nova could accept that but it didn't give Steve the right to be an ass. She wasn't a bitch when he'd monopolized Evie's time. She'd complained, sure, but she knew that they loved one another and that was what mattered. Just because she was being friendly with James wasn't an excuse to treat her like shit.

"He'll play nice," James promised, his chest brushing against her back as he hovered behind her. She could imagine the warning glare he was probably shooting Steve, all dark eyes and danger. It was probably super-hot.

"Fine. But I'm hitting you if you act like an ass again," Nova informed him seriously, nodding tightly. Steve motioned her to lead the way and she did, not wanting to leave the room in case it devolved into a shouting match or something. She'd never thought she'd be on the opposite side of an issue than Steve Rogers, but here she was.

After they'd stopped, Steve shifted from foot to foot, obviously nervous all of a sudden. He wouldn't look at her squarely, instead he looked at everything but her in their vicinity. Nova raised an eyebrow, trying not to smile at how uncomfortable he looked. It was kind of funny that Nova could scare Steve. He was about three times her size, all muscle and super soldier-ness while she was a simple mechanic. He was acting like she could really hurt him, which she doubted was possible. If anyone should be afraid, it should be her. But she wasn't. As asshole-ish as Steve had been recently, she knew he wouldn't hurt her in clear view of his girlfriend and best friend, who both had soft spots for her. Maybe if they met in a dark alley, she'd second guess it all, but probably not.

"You can just spit it out. I won't bite. Unless what you say is super insulting and/or stupid. Then I might. I make no promises. But if you get it over with in the next five seconds, you won't have to pee your pants from fear. I don't really want to be here if you're going to pee your pants. No offense or anything. Besides, I thought you weren't supposed to be afraid of anything. Unless that was just a rumor and you're really just a scaredy cat. Which is cool too, there's nothing wrong with being afraid of things," Nova rambled, Steve's twitchiness infecting her and causing her nerves to bubble up. "It's letting fear stop you that is bad. At least, that's what all the books say. I wouldn't really know. If you want more information, you could take it to Dr. Banner, he's kind of an expert in that sort of thing. Accept that no one knows where he is. Which is kind of sad because he was super awesome to have around the lab and I kind of miss having another bio nerd to talk to. Tony is great, but he is more interested in AIs and heavy machinery-"

Nova was cut off by someone clearing their throat dramatically. She turned toward the noise and met the glare of James. Without a second thought, she flipped him off, turning back to Steve, who was stifling a smirk at the sight.

"I'm not trying to make you nervous, Nova. I just wanted to… to apologize. I've been rude to you. I know you're a good person and a good friend to have. I don't want you to think that there's something wrong with you just because I was reserved about your relationship with Bucky," Steve started, sounding a little choked at having to apologize. Seriously, did no one teach him basic manners?

"A little reserved? You were practically hissing like a pissed off alley cat," Nova reminded him, opening her mouth to continue. Steve cut her off quickly.

"I know. I was an ass. Evangeline's told me repeatedly," Steve informed her.

"Hell yeah I have!" Evie called across the room, shooting Nova a thumb's up when she looked back.

"Mind your own fucking business! Jesus, it's like you guys don't want this to go well!" Nova hollered back, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. James and Evie took a large step back in complete unison and Nova let her head fall forward, wondering what she'd done to deserve those two assholes as best friends. The sass coming from that side of the room was practically overwhelming.

"Anyway," Steve cleared his throat, pulling Nova's head back up and her attention back to him. "I'm sorry that I was an ass. I know you're a good person and I can see how good you are for Bucky. I didn't understand it then, but I do now and you're really important to him. That makes you important to me too. Not that you weren't before. Evangeline already loves you and that makes you family. I shouldn't have treated you like that just because I was scared of what might happen to you and Bucky."

"What did you think was going to happen?" Nova demanded, wanting to hear it. Did he think she'd hurt James? Kill him? Because he really knew nothing about her if he thought she would hurt James. She wasn't sure she could forgive him if he thought about her like that.

"I thought…" Steve lowered his voice, sending a careful glance over his shoulder before reaching out to take Nova's arm in his large hand and pull her closer to the wall they were standing by. She let him, surprised that his fingers could close around her bicep. "It wasn't about you hurting him physically. When I knew Bucky, he was a lot freer with his emotions than he is now. If he got attached as easily as he used to, it opens him up to being hurt if he scares someone or they find out too much about his past. I wasn't afraid that you'd attack him or anything. I was afraid that, if he befriended you and lost you, he'd break again."

There was a slight waver in Steve's voice and Nova reached forward without thinking too much and tugged the man before her into a hug that would break a normal person. Her thin arms clenched around his neck and she held on until he relented, which only took moments. His large arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a hard hug.

"Ah, look at them, hugging it out," Evie's voice broke through the hug, closer than before, and they pulled back to see that Evie and James were standing right beside them now. James was scowling fiercely, waiting for a verdict probably. Evie reached forward and took Steve's hand in her own.

"We're friends again, no need to look so grouchy, Jamie. Now, you need a shower and I need to change. Steve, I look forward to the large Christmas present you're getting me as an apology present. I also accept cash!" Nova teased, winking at the couple before her. Taking James's hand, Nova started pulling him toward the elevator, the cool metal under her fingers sending goose bumps up her arm.

He didn't try to resist her, instead following quietly. Nova wondered what had crawled in his coffee and died, but kept her mouth firmly shut. After apologizing, Steve deserved some alone time with his favorite Evie and Nova was about to give them some uninterrupted sexy time. If that meant she had to deal with a silent and broody James, she was fine with it. Good days and bad days and all that psychological mumbo jumbo.

They were both quiet until after they got into the elevator and the door closed immediately after them. It was like FRIDAY was watching their every move and knew they needed a minute alone. Or maybe Steve and Evie were already stripping and FRIDAY was just a good bro and didn't want Nova to have to poke her eyes out with a fork if she accidently saw Steve naked.

It wasn't that Steve wasn't a gorgeous guy. He was kind of unfairly handsome in that wholesome, all-American kind of way. Nova was honest with herself and knew Steve was hot. Seeing him naked would be a privilege if he wasn't dating her best friend and more like a brother than someone Nova would ever consider dating. As it was, she had the feeling it would be on par with seeing Jas naked that time she'd thought the bathroom was empty and he was getting out of the shower. Yeah, there wasn't enough bleach in the world to clean that sight out of her memory.

"So, Steve apologized," Nova glanced sideways at James, who was staring resolutely straight ahead. His jaw was so tightly clenched that the individual muscles could be seen under his pale skin. If he tried any harder, he was going to crack teeth.

"Yes," he growled out, still unmoving. It was like he was a marble statue, all tight muscles and scary stillness. It reminded her briefly of not-James, who could adopt the same stillness when he was about to do something really stupid. Or smart, depending on who he was shooting at. Like, shooting Clint was so not his best idea. They were lucky Natasha hadn't come after their heads. And she would come after both of them, not just James because why wouldn't it also be Nova's fault?

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Nova pressed, turning to face James instead of the door. Worry was starting to gnaw along her gut, scratching up her chest as though searching out the very core of her being to squeeze the breath from her lungs.

James eyes snapped to hers as soon as he sensed the worry, eyes flint hard as he glared. She saw the switch before she could do anything about it and James's face blanked of emotions, the tension in his jaw fading just slightly as he relaxed into his new memories.

"Not-James?" Nova murmured, her voice soft and gentle. She didn't want to scare him, just wanted to be sure who she was talking to.

"I am the Asset."


	40. Must Love Nova

**Hello everybody! Sorry for the late update, I should have warned this might happen this week. It's a long weekend, so I'm at my best friend's house. My weekend included a new tattoo, parents that are disappointed in my life choices, and a lot of crocheting because I'm basically like eighty years old. Either way, it was awesome and I left Friday and completely forgot to update because I was super excited! Please forgive me! I hope everyone loves this chapter, I've been loving the reviews. Honestly, sometimes I just read them when I'm sad because you guys are so amazing. As always, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to let me know! Enjoy!**

His gaze tracked over Nova, considering her person. She was unharmed and staring at him as if she was surprised he was there. He had seen expressions like that many times in the past, usually preceding someone's death. Nova was not to be harmed and no one would harm her while she was in his care, therefore she was in no immediate danger. No, she was not in danger, but he was not happy either.

The rage burned low in his gut, sliding through his blood stream like a living thing until he was practically vibrating with the need to lash out, to hurt someone. It had been so long, so frighteningly long since he'd felt anything at all. The rage was potent, an easy emotion that he could harness should he wish it. Flexing his metal arm, he allowed it to recalibrate, the harsh grind and screech of the plates ignored even as Nova's attention shifted to that problem as though she could fix it. His handlers always fixed the machinery, he had no need for Nova's expertise though he had looked over her certifications just in case. She was a fine mechanic, but it wasn't her job to take care of him. It was just the opposite.

"What's wrong? I don't understand. Steve and I made up and then you won't talk to me and now you're not-James and I just don't get it. What happened? Why are you upset? I thought you would be happy that we're on good terms now. I mean, Steve's still a bit of an ass, but that might never change. Honestly, it's just because he loves you. Why won't you just tell me what's wrong?" Nova demanded, reaching out for him almost unconsciously. He let her rest her open palm on the metal of his arm, the input data correlating to warm and rough. To feel her skin against his was something he craved deeply in the parts of him that didn't exist, couldn't exist. The mission didn't allow for deeper contemplation. He was not meant to feel things, not rage, not lust, not affection. That was not his mission.

But it was undeniable that Nova brought those emotions, emotions he knew didn't belong to him, surging to the forefront. His right hand moved before he fully considered the option, catching Nova's thin, breakable fingers against his. His hands were meant to break things and Nova was terribly breakable. It would only take one sharp movement to destroy the fragile bones in her fingers. One well-placed jab would paralyze her hand for the rest of her life.

The warmth of her palm meeting his resonated through his entire being, the rage doubling as he thought of someone else, anyone else, touching her in such a familiar way. The thought of someone hurting he was unthinkable. He wouldn't begin to fathom it because it wasn't going to happen. Even if she hadn't been his mission, he wouldn't let anyone hurt her.

Someone had. The memory was murky and slow to come. He couldn't see a face, just the flash of a mission of the past, one of the few he failed. If his failed mission attempted to hurt Nova in any way, he would finish the mission as soon as possible. With that simple goal in mind, he turned back toward the elevator door as it slid open into Nova's lab. She didn't bother fighting him when he kept her hand in his while he made his way into the white lab space and he was unsure if she would have if she thought she had a chance to pull away. Being feared made him powerful. Being feared by Nova was not the same thing as power. The thought sent a bolt of discomfort through him and his fingers automatically tightened around Nova's.

"If you want we can ignore that you're upset. I mean, I'm no therapist or psychologist. I just want to help you but I understand if you don't want to talk about it. Sometimes I don't like to talk when I'm upset. Well, I mean, about what I'm upset about. I always like to talk, in case you haven't noticed. But, we could talk about something else, if it would make you feel better. Or I could do my best not to talk at all. I'm not very awesome at being quiet, but there's a first time for everything, right?" Nova trailed off as he stopped in the middle of her lab, near a table he knew would be safe.

The silence that came after Nova stopped speaking had him turning toward her, wishing she hadn't felt the need to stop. Her voice was a balm to an old wound. It made him forget the pain and the missions and the silence. It was one of the only things in the world that he knew he liked. He wasn't supposed to like anything. He couldn't let his handlers know that he liked the sound of her voice, they would eliminate her simply to hurt him.

"He touched you," he murmured, reaching up to brush his metal fingers along her cheekbone as gently as he knew how. A wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows as she considered this answer closely, her eyes staying on his as though she could understand him if she just looked hard enough. The idea wasn't as preposterous to him as he knew it should have been.

"Who touched me? I don't know… are you talking about Steve?" Nova questioned, cutting her own confusion in half. The wrinkle between her eyebrows disappeared as her eyebrows shot up, chocolate eyes wide in surprise. He scowled at the name coming from her lips, moving his metal fingers down her neck gently until he could grip her shoulder. Her fiery hair was held back in a ponytail on the top of her head, a screwdriver stuck through the top as an afterthought. The sight of her hair always reminded him of the baby spiders he had trained. That was how they found out he couldn't touch hair with his metal hand. It tangled in the baby spider's red hair and they'd had to cut it. The punishment had been swift. Nova had much more patience with fixing her hair when he was involved, however he could still unwittingly hurt her if he lost himself, even for a moment.

"The mission," he snarled, fighting back the urge to clench his fists. If he clenched his fingers, it would break Nova. She was far too thin, far too delicate. He couldn't risk hurting her.

"You're mad because Steve hugged me?" Nova clarified. A snarl burst unbidden from his lips and he let her go immediately, turning to walk away. It wouldn't do to put Nova in danger by being around her when he was upset. Before he could do anything, Nova was ducking around him, putting herself in front of him bodily to stop him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the fuck up. We're so talking about this. Right now. So don't even think you can get around me or I will literally put this lab on lockdown. Now, go pick out a lollipop and we can have a civil conversation about all this madness like adults."

He wanted to say no. He wanted to ignore the order in her voice and leave, find the mission he failed and finish it. But his body was moving to obey her before he finished the thought. Nova's happiness was a part of his mission. Keep her safe, keep her happy. If she wished to speak to him about this, he had no choice but to do what she asked of him.

Turning, he made his way over to the desk that she was so fond of, observing the blinking lights and various decorations that filled her lab. Tinsel covered the computers and her snow globes were all perfectly lined up near her computers. Grabbing the jar from the top of her desk, he took out a lollipop, root beer. Automatically, he picked out one of the pink ones as well, handing it off to Nova. Her bright smile was enough to calm some of his rage, her eyes lighting up as she tore off the wrapping and popped the pink lollipop between her lips.

The Asset followed her lead, moving to sit on the floor as they had done before. Nova plopped down right in his lap, surprising him as she leaned back against his chest without seeming to realize what she was doing or the danger she was putting herself in. One wrong move and he could irreparably damage her. Then again, this closeness would also allow him to protect her all the better. If someone came in from above, he could shield her. Just as he would be able to get her under her desk and out of sight if someone tried to come in through the elevator.

"So, you're upset about Steve right? Well, try not to worry too much about it. I know that like never helps if you're worried about something, but he's not going to hurt me or anything. He and I are friends, you know. Not super good friends and sometimes I don't think he likes me very much, but he did apologize and he's just worried that you'll get hurt if I suddenly decide to leave you or something," Nova started. The Asset interrupted her.

"My mission is to protect you. You can't leave," he informed her, wrapping one arm around her waist and holding her tightly to his chest. Just the thought of her walking away sent a bolt of panic through his veins, his heartbeat thrumming in his ears. She couldn't leave. She would be in danger and he was supposed to protect her. It was his mission. If he failed…

"Hey, you're okay. You're safe here, I'm safe here, everyone is safe here. I'm not planning on leaving you anytime soon, so you can let that go too. That's why Steve is full of shit and you shouldn't worry about him. He doesn't know what he's talking about and should get his facts straight before he goes pissing us off. I'm not going to leave you, okay? I mean, we're friends, right?" Nova wiggled around in his arms, letting him support her back fully as she looked into his eyes as if he held the answers to all of her life's questions.

He didn't know how to answer her outlandish questions. What was a friend? Why would she want them to be that? She was his mission, that was all. He was meant to protect her. There wasn't more to that. Was there?

There were no mission parameters. He vaguely remembered being handed a file, but it wasn't Nova's. No, it was Nova's friend's file, the one who stayed with his failed mission. But Nova had been in the file. He had strict orders not to hurt her. There was no other memory to correlate Nova with any mission he had been officially given by his handler. He protected her because he knew he was supposed to. But how did he know that? Who told him she was important?

"You're my mission," the Asset answered sternly, frowning when Nova's lips tilted down, the hurt in her eyes clearly visible. No, that wasn't what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to keep her happy. Maybe files didn't mention happiness, but the Asset knew she needed to be happy. His fingers tightened on her shoulders as he shifted his weight uncomfortably. Without Nova's happiness, it felt like something detrimental was missing.

"It's okay. I'm not going to leave," Nova murmured, leaning in to wrap her arms around his neck in one smooth move, burying her face in his shoulder. The Asset froze for a moment before carefully wrapping his own arms around her back, gently cradling her to him. Her fingers buried in his hair, tickling his scalp and the Asset tightened his grip on her. His arms snaked around until he could envelope her in his arms, tucking her carefully against his chest and wishing that they could just stay in this moment forever.

She wasn't going to leave.

"You promise?" the Asset demanded, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant. His human hand fisted in the fabric of her shirt, catching the back of her overalls in his palm and leaving her with no chance to get away even if she wanted to.

"I promise. You're my friend. I would never leave any of my friends and I'm not leaving you," Nova pulled her head up and their faces were inches apart. He could see small, caramel flecks in her eyes that he had never noticed before. The freckles on her cheeks stood out against her pale skin and the circles under her eyes were lighter than he had ever seen them. A few strands of hair fell free of her ponytail and framed her face, tickling her jaw. She didn't seem to notice them but his eyes trailed the length of her hair, wondering if it was as soft as it looked.

He wasn't supposed to touch her, not like that. If he touched her, she would be taken away from him before he could fight. But she promised she would stay with him. He believed her. Nova never made promises she couldn't keep and he wanted to believe her. It had been so long since he'd wanted something as desperately as he wanted Nova to stay.

Reaching up with his human hand, the Asset pushed the free strands of Nova's hair away from her face, smoothing them toward her ponytail. He ran his hand over the soft strands a few times, marveling at the texture. Her hair was smooth with a few minor bumps that added to the sensation against his palm. The color wasn't as firmly red as he had previously assumed, instead lighting in a hundred different shades ranging from gold to red, simulating a fire in the depths of her hair. It was pretty. Much prettier than any other color he had ever seen.

Cupping Nova's cheek in his hand, the Asset ran his thumb over her cheekbone, eyes tracing the freckles in his path. Hundreds littered her skin and he wished to count them all. It would take years to learn every single mark on her body, but the Asset would give almost anything to have that kind of time.

Nova didn't bother to move away from him, her eyes focused on his face just as intently as his were focused on her. It should have scared her to be so close to him. He was a monster and he was meant to kill. Protection was not something that came naturally. He would kill those who threatened her and never feel bad about it. He wasn't meant to have emotions. Whatever this was went against all of his programming, everything that he knew to be true. If his handlers found out, he would be punished. They would take Nova away no matter if she wanted to go or not. The only way to ensure that she was safe was to make sure she never left his sight and even then he wouldn't be capable of keeping her no matter how hard he fought, not against his handlers.

His eyes were drawn to her lips at that thought, the slightly chapped lips that haunted him. Her lollipop rolled from one side of her mouth to the other and the Asset's attention followed immediately behind, wondering what her lips would taste like. Would she taste sweet as the candy in her mouth? Or would she surprise him and be warm and musky?

Nova reached up and pulled the lollipop stick out of her mouth, the remains of the candy gone. The Asset grabbed his own with his metal hand and took Nova's, throwing both toward the waste basket without turning to look. Nova's wide eyes met his in surprise, but the Asset was already closing in, his human hand holding her head in place as he slanted his lips over hers before she really had a chance to understand what he was doing.

Her surprised gasp gave him the opportunity he craved and the Asset swept his tongue through her lips, brushing along her tongue as he worked, tasting her slowly and deeply. The sweet sugar that invaded his senses was just what he knew he should expect, bursting along his taste buds pleasingly. His fingers shifted to the back of her neck, tilting her head to his will. Their lips slotted together perfectly and it took a moment for Nova to actively participate, her surprise overwhelmed by instinct.

The Asset hummed in appreciation when Nova grabbed a handful of his long hair, tugging lightly at his scalp as she pulled back just enough to nibble at his bottom lip. He wanted more of her, more than the small taste she allowed him. He wanted as much as she was willing to give.

Biting at her top lip, the Asset smirked in satisfaction when Nova jumped in his arms, pulling back to look up at him.

"You know, you're really good at making out in all of your forms. I mean, I shouldn't be making out with you because I feel like this is somehow cheating, even though I'm not even in a concrete relationship with James but I do make out with him occasionally and you aren't him but you are but you aren't and I don't know how to make sense of—Oh!" Nova cut herself off when the Asset swept in and latched onto the curve of her shoulder, nibbling at the sensitive flesh as he made his way up toward her jaw. She arched her back, pressing tighter to him, and the Asset tugged her hips flush with his, moaning into her soft flesh at the feel of her pressed into him in just the right way.

Sucking deeply at one particularly sensitive spot, the Asset bit down hard, fisting a hand in Nova's sweater when her hips ground down against his and her surprised gasp came out as little more than a desperate mewl.

"How did you find that spot?" she demanded breathlessly, her fingernails digging into his scalp. The Asset licked at the wound as a balm, not bothering to answer. It would do her no good to realize that he could easily read the way her body reacted to his every movement. He was aware of every increase in heartrate, every slight moan that left her lips. He was attuned to every reaction she gave and he adjusted accordingly. It was pointless to do this if it gave her no pleasure and he intended to ring every last bit of pleasure he could out of her. And then he would start again. And again, until she was begging him to stop. Only then would he let her rest.

Pulling back, the Asset considered his work, the skin red and irritated. The bruise was already forming, darkening along her skin in a mark of his intention for as long as the bruise lasted. Lowering his hand a little, the Asset ran his thumb over the mark, heat dipping low in his stomach and his arousal hardening. Yes, he wanted everyone to know that she was his and that he would protect her. If anyone so much as touched her, they would have to deal with his rage.

Assured he had finished his intended purpose, the Asset placed a series of openmouthed kisses along the column of her throat, enjoying the gasps of breath bursting from her lips as she dug her nails into the flesh of his back. The bursts of pain accompanied his pleasure and he focused intently on his task, nibbling along Nova's jaw until she dipped her head and caught his lips in a searing kiss that had him groaning into her mouth.

Their lips stayed sealed as James's metal fingers found the opening in her overalls, dipping into the hole and finding the bottom of her sweater. Slowly, he inched the fabric up, letting the cool tips of his fingers brush along her spine. Nova shivered on top of him, the friction pulling a sigh of pleasure from his lips. When he had the fabric high enough, he slipped his entire hand under the shirt, pressing into her back insistently. Nova squeaked in surprise as the cold hit her skin, thrusting herself tighter against him. The move caused him to suck in a shocked breath, surprised something so mundane could be so arousing.

"You're a pain in the ass even when you're not-James, you know that?" Nova grumbled, pulling her lips from his and shooting him an annoyed look. The Asset simply ran his hand in a smooth motion down her spine, soothing the irritation out of her. He felt her start to relax and she pouted out her lips. "This doesn't mean I don't think you're a pain in the ass. You're just really good at getting away with it."

"It amuses you," he reminded her, his lips tilting just slightly as Nova's smile bloomed along her face.

"It shouldn't amuse me as much as it does, but yeah, you're right," Nova laughed as the Asset ran his hand up her back again, the warmth of her body pleasant against his palm. He buried his lips in her shoulder, taking deep breaths of her intoxicating scent. Thin fingers brushed through his hair gently and he relaxed into her hold, curving around her body protectively. No one was going to take her away from him. Not while he was alive.


	41. Panic! in the Lab

**Hello, hello! So I'm actually posting on a Friday this time…. Barely… and it's Friday my time, which means for lots of the world, it probably isn't Friday… I did my best! I'm glad you guys are still loving the story, I hope it continues to be awesome. Let me know what you think and, as always, any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to let me know! Oh, and tattoo update: it is now peeling. Which sucks because I want to touch it! Otherwise, it's looking really good. Thanks for all the support, hope you guys have a great week and let me know what you think!**

Nova waited an entire twenty minutes in relative silence for James to come back to his body, his hands brushing over her body in brief caresses that reassured him that she was really there. When he did wake up, he ripped himself out of her arms, wide eyes wild as he took her in with frantic worry. The hand that had been pressed into her back was suddenly pulled away, leaving her a little cold as he ran his hands all over her arms and legs as if searching for broken bones. It all happened so quickly that Nova didn't have much time to reassure him, her hands flying up to catch his as he cupped her face and tilted her head toward the light as if he could see the damage if he just tilted her face the right way.

"Hey, hey, I'm fine," Nova insisted, tangling their fingers together until James finally met her eyes. The clear blue surprised her for a moment as she let her lips tilt into a smile. She didn't want him to think she was upset with him. She definitely wasn't.

"I could have hurt you," James reminded her as if she wasn't aware of that fact.

"Somehow I don't think hurting me was on not-James's list of things to do," Nova informed him, shrugging nonchalantly. The movement caught James's attention and the man was moving before she could really understand what he saw that was so damn interesting. One hand caught her shoulder and the other her chin, tilting her face a certain way so that he could see the entire column of her throat. Nova was going to be super pissed if he turned out to be some crazy fucked up sort of vampire that was only after her blood. This wasn't fanfiction, damn it, this was her life! That would so not be cool in any way. Not that Tony wouldn't love to make puns about it later.

James's thumb brushed up her throat, right where the curve of her shoulder met her neck. It was a super sensitive area and Nova shivered at the touch, squirming in his hold. It only took a moment for her to remember just what had happened to that spot not an hour ago, when not-James had paid particular attention to that very shoulder. There was no way that he didn't leave a mark with the way he'd bitten her. It was almost like he had purposefully been trying to leave a bruise. Not that Nova minded. She liked it rough most of the time. Thank goodness all the sides of James seemed to agree on that aspect at least.

"He kissed you?" James demanded, lifting her head back up and then letting her go like she'd burned him. He didn't scramble back like she half expected him to, but he was staring at the ground like he was trying to figure something out, his hands twisting in his lap.

"Yes, he did," Nova answered honestly. She wasn't going to lie to him about it. James gave her nothing but honesty, she would return the sentiment to the best of her abilities. Not only that, but James and not-James weren't two different people. James had a right to know what was being done with his body. "I didn't know what he was going to do at first. He was upset. You were upset. Then he was holding me in place and his lips were on mine and I didn't really know what to do. You're the same person and I kiss you all the time so it wasn't super weird or anything. But I know that you don't really remember what happens when you're not-James and I know you have no control over him. I'm sorry I didn't ask first. How does consent work in this sort of situation? I don't think they teach this in—"

"It's okay," James cut her off, blue eyes focused back on her brown ones. Nova flinched at the abrupt tone of voice, wondering if she royally fucked up her friendship with James. If that was what was happening, she wasn't sure she would survive a heartbreak like that. He was basically her best friend after Evie. If he left her or hated her for some reason, she didn't know what she would do. "They are me. I should have thought of it sooner."

"Thought of what sooner? How could you know that the other you would try to kiss me?" Nova demanded, wrinkling her nose in thought. "I guess technically they're all you so if you follow your own thought process logically, you might be able to predict an outcome to a series of events, but Bucky only has your memories to a certain point in your life. His experiences aren't the same as yours and you can't tell for certain what he would do with the same information as its presented to you. As for not-James, I'm pretty sure he still thinks he's under HYDRA control and that I'll be taken away if he's too nice to me. That makes him a wild card and I don't think anyone can guess what he'll do in any given moment."

"I'm attracted to you. It makes sense that they would be too," James murmured easily as if it made all the sense in the world. Nova ducked her head down as heat rushed to her cheeks, twisting her fingers together to keep from letting him see her obvious blush. He probably knew about it anyway, but she didn't want to acknowledge that thought. If she acknowledged he could make her blush, it would be that much easier for him to do it again.

"I'm still sorry. I shouldn't have kissed not-James without talking to you about it first," Nova sighed, wishing she knew more about psychology. And wishing that she thought before she did things. Sure, kissing not-James felt right in the moment. He was protecting her and jealous and it was so cute. Here was a master assassin who got upset because some other guy hugged her. Someone who wasn't him. And he wanted to care for her. That was all he seemed to talk about when he was in control of James's body. It had come naturally to her, the instinct to kiss back. Because he was James and Bucky and not-James, just the same as James was all three as well. They were the same person to her, all of them. And she'd grown attached to all of them too.

"If they want to kiss you, you can let them," James murmured, reaching out in a move that mirrored not-James's. His palm cupped her cheek and his thumb ran along her cheekbone, gently forcing her to face him instead of hiding. She didn't want to meet his gaze, but she only saw gentle understanding in his face when she finally looked up, those blue eyes as soft as a cloud on a clear summer's day. "I wouldn't deny myself the pleasure of kissing you in any lifetime."

"Wow, you're such a dork," Nova blurted, blushing bright red and cringing away from his touch while he smirked at her.

He let go of her just in time as the door to the elevator slid open and Evie burst out in a whirlwind of activity. She had her hair pulled back into a tight bun with the curls mostly straightened out and a tee shirt and yoga pants thrown on. Natasha walked in after her, silent and deadly, her eyes flickering between James and Nova sitting on the floor of her lab as if she could read something in their completely innocent positions. Nova really hoped that wasn't true. She wasn't sure she could live through Natasha's teasing if she figured out what the hell was going on between her and James. Especially since Nova herself had no idea what was going on.

"Nova, where's your stuff?" Evie froze halfway to them, that cute wrinkle appearing on her nose as she surveyed the lab as if it wasn't what she'd been expecting. Which was completely stupid because Evie knew that Nova kept her lab in a perpetual state of organized chaos and it wasn't going to change overnight.

"What stuff? I have a lot of stuff. What are you talking about?" Nova demanded, hoping the blush on her cheeks had faded from existence as she pushed up to her feet so that she could figure out what it was Evie was looking for. If she was looking for info, it would be on the servers. If she was looking for clothes, they're be in the apartment or by the cot. If she was looking for more jewelry to snatch, she'd need to go to the safe in the apartment. But Evie would have figured that all out on her own. No matter the instance, Evie would know where Nova kept whatever she was after. They'd lived together for almost ten years, she knew all of Nova's hiding places and had probably already plotted out possible alternatives just in case.

"Do you know what today is?" Evie demanded, eyeing her cautiously.

"Monday," Nova answered proudly. Yes, she did know what day it was, damn it.

"What number?" Evie continued as if Nova was stupid. Thinking about it, Nova hummed under her breath. Well, Friday was the 18th and it was Sunday so it was the…

"Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! Oh my Lily Luna Potter, how did I forget what day it was?!" Nova shrieked, tugging at a strand of hair that escaped her ponytail rather violently. Gentle hands caught hers and forced her to let go, cool metal chilling her skin. Nova spun to James, anxiety curling in her chest and starting to fan out. Holy fuck, how could she forget? It was her favorite time of year! She'd been doing this since the Academy, how could she completely miss what day it was?

"What's wrong?" James asked, ignoring Nova as she started to hyperventilate and instead focusing on Evie. That was probably a good idea because Evie'd give a more comprehensive answer than Nova at the moment.

"It's December 20th. You're supposed to leave right away tomorrow morning. Nova hasn't even bothered to pack," Evie sighed tiredly. Nova grabbed James's arm and squeezed tightly, her eyes conveying her panic. "Why does this always happen? Seriously, you'd think you'd know the timetable by now. Honestly, every year we have the last minute pack-a-thon. No one believed me when I said we should have mentioned the day to you."

"I can't believe I forgot!" Nova cried, thumping her forehead against James's arm and whimpering when the unforgiving metal met her skull. James reached up and carefully moved her head away from his arm, still focused on Evie.

"I came to help carry and pack the car, but it looks like you'll need help packing your clothes and whatever you need to take with from the lab," Evie started, straightening up. Nova turned to her, suddenly weepy as she saw that Evie was taking over. She'd missed this terribly while Evie was gone. It wasn't that she wanted Evie to do all the responsible, adult things for her. She just missed her best friend and boss. It wasn't the same without Evie handing out orders like she was born to do it. It wasn't the same without Evie by her side, reminding her repeatedly of who she was and who she aspired to be. "Nova, you're going to help me in the lab. I don't think it would be a good idea to let James or Natasha pack the lab equipment because most of it's dangerous. We'll take all the equipment on the jet so you don't have to worry when you switch cars. James, can you go with Natasha and pack some of Nova's clothes?"

"Most of them are in here," James informed them, nodding toward Nova's cot and the overflowing basket of clothing sitting near the mattress.

"I'll go get a suitcase if you want to start picking out clothes for her," Natasha offered, already turning to go before James even answered. Nova sighed deeply, wondering if they would pack her ugly sweaters for her. She knew James would. He liked her sweaters. But Natasha might just leave them home to piss her off and that would literally ruin her Christmas. And make her cry, but only because she was being far too emotional. Her anxiety was kicking her ass.

"Ugly sweaters first, Jamie. I want all the new sweaters too. Don't forget my Christmas outfit. Oh, and I need socks and underwear. Don't forget the bras. I'm sure Natasha won't forget those. But make sure to grab some of the ones that match because I like when they match," Nova started, poking James in the arm to make sure she had his full attention. James's eyes flickered down to her, warmth lighting his usual gloom and doom look. The heat in his eyes had Nova shifting from foot to foot unconsciously, fingers brushing seductively along James's arm. His eyes darkened dramatically and Nova knew she had him.

"Make sure to pack clothing that will look nice too. Contrary to Nova's belief, not all of Christmas is an ugly sweater contest. We have days where she'll need to look nice," Evie ordered, narrowing her eyes threateningly at Nova as she completely ruined the moment. Nova had to fight the urge to scream, slowly backing away from James and letting him go. Nova just stuck her tongue out at her best friend, already knowing that Evie probably ruined the moment on purpose just to throw out half of Nova's ugly sweaters. Evie wore ugly sweaters for most of the Christmas season as well. It was a bad habit she'd picked up from Nova and Nova was proud of that fact. Evie just liked to mess with Nova and steal her sweaters. It was something that was simultaneously annoying and hilarious. The more people Nova infected with the ugly sweaters, the more competition she had to be the best. But she really would have rather made out with James than think too much about sweaters.

"It will be fine," James informed them, gently nudging Nova toward Evie before turning his back on them and starting toward the cot. Evie turned away from them and Nova almost shrieked when she was rapidly spun back around, body pressed into something resembling a brick wall. Her senses went on high alert when lips crushed against hers, hard and unforgiving. Her teeth clashed against his, James's lips moving in sync with her own as his scent surrounded her and his metal hand pressed against her low back for just a moment. He coaxed her mouth open to nip at her bottom lip and then he was gone, leaving Nova panting and wishing that they were alone.

Instead of speaking of what had just happened, James spun Nova back toward Evie and smacked her ass gently, sending her on her way. Nova flipped him the bird before turning back around and deciding to humor him. Adding a little swing to her hips she was sure James would notice, Nova went with it, taking note of Evie's free arms as she got closer to her oblivious best friend.

"You took your brace off again," she scolded Evie, scowling a little so Evie knew that Nova wasn't behind her decision not to let herself heal properly. Evie looked away guiltily, automatically rubbing at her shoulder as if just the thought brought up the pain. It probably did. Evie was very good at pushing pain out of her mind. A reminder would focus her in on it again and make her feel it. She needed to feel it to remember that her brace was there for a purpose other than to annoy her. If the bones and tendons and muscles didn't heal properly, it was possible she would lose some mobility in her arm. None of them wanted that, least of all Evie. Which made it their job to remind her of that when she got it into her head that she didn't need the brace.

"It would have gotten in the way," Evie defended, as if Nova couldn't break that reason apart in a second flat.

"I'm so going to sic Mama on you when we get home. She's going to have a field day when I tell her you've been neglecting yourself again," Nova threatened, sauntering over to the table that had the mechanical pieces of LEW spread out on it. Pulling a specialize suitcase from under the table, Nova set it on the table next to the parts and opened it up. There were little divots where various pieces of LEW's machinery went and Nova deftly matched them together, having used LEW enough to know where everything went without having to look.

"You wouldn't!" Evie chased her, voice loud and catching the attention of a certain assassin. He observed them for a moment, as if he thought one of them was going to spontaneously combust. Nova made the decision to ignore him, picking up one of the tiny rotor wings she'd taken off of LEW and placing it in the foam casing carefully. Evie would be just as protective of Nova's machinery as Nova herself would be, but Nova still wanted to ensure that her mechanics were safely tucked in their rightful places.

"I would so. You have to take care of yourself. You already have enough injuries that hurt whenever the weather changes, there's no need to make your shoulder that way. If you won't take care of yourself, I'll find someone who will do it for you," Nova informed her resolutely. Usually, she would go straight to Steve, but she wasn't sure how happy he was with her at the moment. Yeah, they'd made up and he wasn't upset with her anymore, but she wasn't really sure if she could count him as a friend. As much as Nova wanted to trust Steve with Evie's health and general well-being, she was finding it kind of hard to place that sort of faith in him now that he was being a dick.

"I'll tell Mama you've been making out with James," Evie blurted, hands jumping to her hips and a smirk twisting her lips as she found her way out. Nova froze for a moment, eyes blinking wide. "And I have all the proof I need."

"Proof? What proof?" Nova laughed, wondering what it was Evie had that would prove she'd made out with James. The camera feed from the individual rooms weren't accessible unless there was an emergency and Nova knew FRIDAY wouldn't share the footage without a really good reason. A reason like someone had tried to kill them in the room at the time. Considering that hadn't happened, it was unlikely that Evie actually had video footage of them.

"Gee, I don't know, maybe the huge hickey on your neck," Evie waved a hand at her own shoulder pointedly.

"Son of a fucking bitch," Nova muttered, hand jumping up to cover the spot as a blush started to warm her cheeks. So, Evie now knew without a doubt that Nova and James were still making out whenever they got the chance. Natasha had probably already come to the same conclusion as Nova hadn't covered the hickey. There was no way to hide the bruise without looking ridiculous at this point. The only thing Nova could really hope was that Steve was too oblivious to notice anything was wrong.

"Yeah. You should have thought of that before you let James give you a hickey," Evie teased, smiling for real now. Nova scowled at her, wrinkling her nose and wishing that Evie wasn't always right. Older sisters were so annoying sometimes.

"I wasn't doing much thinking, if you must know. And it wasn't really James that gave me the hickey…" Nova trailed off as Evie's head whipped up to stare at her in shock and a little bit of outrage. It was almost funny because Nova knew that Evie would be totally upset with her if she cheated on James in anyway. Evie counted James as a really good friend, one of her best, so it was no surprise that she would stand up for him over Nova if the situation called for it. But Nova would never cheat on anyone, least of all James. "Don't look at me like that, it's not what you think. I didn't cheat on him or make out with anyone else. He was just… not-James when he gave me the hickey."

"You made out with the Winter Soldier?" Evie hissed, one hand snapping out to grip at Nova's arm and halt her progress as she tried to finish packing up LEW. Nova glanced sideways at where James was folding her clothing carefully and piling them on the cot, his back stiff and shoulders set. Oh, yes, he could definitely hear every word they were saying.

"Yeah, I did. It was awesome. Like, ten out of ten. He's a little less gentle than James but in a completely hot way. Besides, it was your boyfriend's fault anyway," Nova huffed, waving off Evie's concern easily. James would never hurt her in any of his forms. She honestly believed that and not just because she liked to make out with him either.

"What? What does Steve have to do with it?" Evie demanded as the elevator door opened and Natasha came into the lab. She was carrying two separate suitcases and made her way over to James after a cursory glance around the room.

"Apparently James is the jealous type. Or, at least, not-James is the jealous type. He was not happy that Steve and I are getting along now. Especially not when Steve felt the need to hug me. I seriously don't see the problem. Steve is one hundred percent yours. Not that I would ever willingly date him anyway, even if he was single and interested, which I'm pretty sure we can all agree would never happen. But not-James took offense and offered to finish the mission he failed," Nova informed her best friend, tucking the main body of LEW away when Evie's fingertips fell off her arm as she seemed to think seriously.

LEW would be safe in her suitcase, her name emblazoned on the top thanks to a guilty Tony when she was sixteen and he'd missed her martial arts competition. Nova made the suitcases especially for her equipment but Tony helped sometimes when he didn't approve of her designs or thought they needed more color. They would protect her life's work as well as anything, no matter the color.

"Seriously?! Why didn't you call us right away?! He could have been dangerous, Nova," Evie snapped as quietly as she could, leaning toward Nova as if James was going to come break them apart and demand she leave. As if.

James didn't have a rude bone in his body on a regular basis. He got snippy when he was tired or cranky, but he would never throw a woman out of a lab. Too much common sense for that. Anyway, James had been listening since they'd started talking and he hadn't done anything about it yet. It was almost like Evie didn't live with Steve. Either that or Steve pretended not to hear things he did hear. Because James had amazing hearing and Nova knew it.

"Honestly, it wasn't a problem. He was just having a bad moment. As you can see, he didn't hurt me at all. Never left the lab. You know I would have called if there was any danger. I'd never put you in danger like that," Nova reminded her, rolling her eyes at Evie's concern. Yeah, it was understandable that she was worried for Steve, but Evie should know that Nova would never let anything happen to her or her boyfriend if she could do something to stop it. In this case, stopping danger involved making out with a famous Russian assassin. Nova would happily make that sacrifice a hundred times over.

"I know you'd never let anything happen to us. That's what I'm worried about. He wouldn't only be dangerous to us, Nova. He would be dangerous to you. If you got in his way, do you really think he'd gently ask you to move?" Evie sighed, the righteous anger fading from her and leaving her shoulders slumping in defeat. Nova closed the clasps of the suitcase with a resolute click.

"I would be fine, Evie. James would never hurt me. No matter what form he's in," Nova reminded her, not making any promises she wouldn't be able to keep. Nova reached out and pulled her best friend into a tight hug, feeling Evie relax in her arms.

It was good to have her back.


	42. Goodbyes are Hard For Everyone Else

**Happy Fri-yay everybody! I'm excited for this Friday, I've been sick all week and I need some rest. And some time to actually do my homework. This fanfic has already reached more reviews than Seraphim and I have to say thank you so much for the people who have been here since the beginning, everyone who comments on every chapter, and anyone who reads. You guys are amazing! I can't believe the response I've gotten. Thank you so much and I hope you continue to love the rest of the story! (BTW, the fun is about to start).**

"Are you sure you don't want to come on the drive? We haven't been separated for this part of Christmas since I brought you home the first time. It's not going to be the same without you," Nova begged Evangeline, their hands tangled together while James stood at Nova's right shoulder, keeping an eye on everyone who had come to tell her goodbye. Evangeline seemed to be the only one that Nova was interested in at the moment, but James was aware that could change at any moment.

"I wouldn't be able to make the ride with my leg, Nova Scotia. But I promise that I'll be there the same day you show up, so make sure you get home early," Evangeline demanded, looking small next to Nova, who was standing up to her full height. When standing next to James or Steve, Nova looked fairly small, but she was actually quite tall for a female. James tended to forget that when no one else was around to remind him.

"I'm going to miss you. James better know all the words to all my favorite Avril Lavigne songs or this trip is going to drag on and on and on," Nova shot him a raised eyebrow in challenge that James just rolled his eyes at. Nova had been constantly updating his music selection in an attempt to get him to listen to more artists. He still preferred the Rat Pack and the music from his youth, but he understood some of the later music. Elvis Presley was a good artist and he had an appreciation for the Beatles that had a lot to do with Nova's influence. The nice thing about classical music was that it hadn't changed since he'd died, but Nova was insistent on getting him to experience what she called "the culture around him". That included artists like Taylor Swift, Fallout Boy, and Red.

"I'm sure you can get him to sing with you," Evangeline promised, shooting James a teasing grin. He sighed deeply, wondering if Nova would really want him to sing. He couldn't remember the last time he'd sung to anyone. Evangeline left Nova with a tight hug and moved to him as Natasha stepped up to talk to Nova. James kept an ear out for trouble between those two, knowing that they didn't get along on the best of days. His eyes fell to Evangeline's after a moment of silence only to find that she was looking up at him with her golden eyes wide, lips soft and smiling. "Thank you for doing this. I know you like Nova almost as much as I do, but thank you anyway. She needs more friends and you're good for her."

James shifted his weight slightly, stealing a glance at Nova, who was rolling her eyes and accepting something from Natalia that looked suspiciously like a gun. The black object slipped into the back of her pants, disappearing under her shirt. He would need to ask when they got in the car. Why would Nova need a gun from Natalia? If Nova needed a gun, she could use one of his. They were all in perfect condition and he'd cleaned them for this trip in particular. He trusted his own weapons more than anyone else's and he knew that his were in top working order. If Nova needed a weapon, he was more comfortable with her using his.

"Nova is better for me," James answered succinctly, letting his gaze meet Evangeline's again. Her smile spread and she reached up slowly to wrap him in a hug. There were very few times when Evangeline actually hugged him. She was the one who had started to get him used to casual touches and the reason he hadn't snapped Nova's neck on accident the first time she threw herself at him. Still, the movement was hesitant and a little awkward as James considered his options. Mentally shrugging, James wrapped his human arm around her back, hugging her back gently. He kept careful note of her various injuries and avoided touching any, intent on not hurting her any more than he already had. When she pulled back, she was beaming and practically humming with energy.

"You two are perfect for one another," she breathed out excitedly before hopping off. James blinked in surprise, wondering just what she meant by that. Nova could do a hell of a lot better than James, he knew that for sure.

"If you threaten her in the least, she will stop you," Natalia's hard voice broke through his thoughts and James looked down to see that the other woman was standing before him, lips pressed into a firm line. There wasn't a hair out of place, her copper curls perfectly coiffed and her poisonous green eyes ringed darkly in black. Her outfit was far less fitting than those she had worn when she was still just a small spider, but she was just as deadly. And she knew how to hurt him too.

"And what does that matter?" James demanded. Natalia had made everyone quite aware that she didn't approve of Nova. James wasn't quite ready to forgive her for almost letting the Asset attack Nova. There was little love lost between Natalia and Nova, but James wanted a straight answer from the woman before him about just what she thought of Nova. He needed to know if he could trust her to protect Nova if something happened to him. Natalia could be his greatest ally. All she needed to do was realize how much Nova meant to him.

"I might have made a statistical error when judging Nova. I still don't particularly like her, but she's important. That means she needs to be safe," Natalia informed him, teeth clenched as she admitted her mistake. James nodded tightly. Natalia was telling him the truth. She didn't like to admit that she was wrong about anything and it had to kill her a little bit inside to accept Nova after writing her off so thoroughly. James was perfectly fine with Natalia's discomfort so long as it meant that Nova was going to be safe in case something ever happened to him.

"Nova will be kept safe. But that is not your mission, Natalia," James growled lowly, ensuring no one else would hear the borderline aggressive tone of his voice. Nova was his mission for the time being. He wasn't about to let someone like Natalia screw up the trust he had built with Nova. Nova trusted James and he would do whatever it is he had to do to earn that trust. Keeping her trust meant shutting down any attempts from others to break it, like Natalia handing her a gun and warning her to use it if she had to.

James had no problem with Nova protecting herself, especially when it was from him. He just didn't like that Natalia was starting to push for her protection now.

"Everything that happens in this Tower is my mission. My mission is to protect my team and, like it or not, Nova is an important person to my teammates. Don't think you're the only one who will protect them, James. I will not allow you to break this team apart," Natalia hissed angrily before spinning and stalking off. James watched her go in a flurry of copper curls, his jaw clenched tightly.

He knew he would not be the end of the team. The Avengers were far more than just a team and it would take a bigger man than him to break them. Families all had skirmishes but it didn't mean that they weren't still family. No matter what happened, the Avengers would always come back to one another. Not because they had no one else to go to, but because they cared for one another in a way that James didn't quite understand. He could remember a feeling like it, sometimes. When he was almost remembering Bucky, he could remember something warm and safe that would wrap around him in the cold European nights. But that was a long time ago. The only people he could consider that close to him were Nova, Evangeline, and Steve.

"Don't think so hard, you'll burst a brain cell," Clint called jokingly, an arm thrown tightly around Nova's shoulders as he dragged her over to talk to James. Nova was poking Clint resolutely in the ribs and James felt a little bolt of pride when Clint flinched a little each time. It took a lot to make a man like Clint flinch.

"You would know all about that, now wouldn't you, bird boy?" Nova huffed, ducking out from under his arm and stomping on his foot. Clint swore between gritted teeth, swatting at Nova as she dodged behind James, her thin fingers gripping the back of his sweater tightly as she hid behind him. Clint didn't look upset in the least, instead grinning an easy grin that James had learned meant he was in a relatively good mood. It was easier to read Clint than it was to read the others. He was the most like James himself. There was something about him that reminded James of the person he was and the person he wanted to be. It was nice to be around Clint. He was one of the first Avengers to stop treating James like a pariah. He was also a very good archer.

"Take care of her, Serge. Trust me, you don't want to show up at the Dugan house without her. They'll eat you alive," Clint offered, shrugging a shoulder when someone cleared their throat behind him. James wished immediately that the goodbyes were already said and done.

All of the people who had come down to say goodbye were going to see them in two days. Nova was a good driver and James was a good shot, they would be fine. If someone did try to come after them, they were making a grave mistake. James would never let anything happen to Nova and she'd proven that his alter-egos agreed with that sentiment. If anyone even thought of hurting Nova, James had no trouble pulling the Asset from his memory bank and setting him free. They would deserve the Asset's wrath.

"Okay, Nova-bot, you know the route that's been planned out, right?" Stark made his way over and James clenched his fists, the grind of metal plates reminding him that he was also supposed to get his arm worked on at the Dugan home. He was going to trust Tony Stark and a woman he'd only met in passing to open up his arm and fix whatever was wrong. Just the thought made him want to throw up.

"Of course, I know, Tony. Evie planned it out for me and there's even a drop point where we'll switch cars. If I need to make some changes, you can watch through your creepy spy tech. It will all work out fine, you know that. I do this all the time," Nova soothed, flicking her hair back a little as she shifted from one foot to the other. She'd been getting increasingly fidgety all morning and he knew she was anxious to get out on the road. James could feel the same excitement infecting him, though his held a healthy dose of reality too. This was his first unsupervised trip out of the Tower since Nova's shopping scheme. Technically, Nova was the supervision. Well, she thought she counted. No one else seemed to think so considering the dressing down they'd gotten from Steve and Pepper when they'd gotten back.

Either way, it was his job to ensure Nova's safety in a much more serious way this time around. Backup would be something they would have to wait for and, if Nova was hit, she could die. The Tower had the best medical facilities in the country and they were leaving it behind to go to Nova's home. He knew how much she wanted to go back, but he found himself reluctant to leave now that they had the chance. What if something happened and he couldn't save her?

"If something happens, you get a message to us right away. Ditch all the electronics and steal a car. We'll come pick you up," Stark promised, as if James wasn't standing in his way to really see Nova clearly. She was leaning against his arm casually, fingers curled in his sleeve as she considered this. James glanced down at the top of her head, wishing he could reach out right there and pet the unruly waves back into place.

"I know the rules. I promise, we'll be at the house tomorrow night. It's not like James and I aren't highly trained individuals, you know. He's a ghost assassin from the forties with over two dozen confirmed political kills and I'm a Legacy with a family full of highly trained government agents. We know the drill," Nova sighed, letting go of James to reach forward and wrap her arms around Stark's shoulders. James felt the loss immediately, the metal of his arm starting to cool down now that her body heat was taken away. The urge to reach out and pull her back was overwhelming but he knew that it would make the process last longer. As much as he enjoyed Nova's physical presence, he didn't want this goodbye to take any longer than it absolutely had to.

"Be good, Supernova. Send me updates and make sure Tchaikovsky over here doesn't leave too big of a mess behind him," Stark hooked a finger at James and he frowned. Obviously Stark was running out of insults if he was calling James by the name of a Russian composer.

"James will be fine. You guys keep acting like he wasn't a literal ghost for seventy five years. Honestly, he can be sneaky!" Nova complained as Pepper Potts stepped around Stark, a small smile tilting her lips. Nova didn't say a word before throwing her arms around the other woman. They hugged in silence for a moment, a familiar movement that seemed to be something they did with one another more often than not. James didn't try to interrupt and neither did anyone else. Natalia and Clint slipped into the elevator to leave, a sharp warning look from Natalia the only response James got when they noticed him watching.

Stark stood awkwardly off to the side but James knew without a doubt that Stark wasn't leaving until they were safely on the road. Evangeline was standing near Stark as well, leaning back against the wall and watching the women before them.

A moment later the two pulled back and Pepper Potts cupped Nova's cheeks in her hands and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, almost like a mother would. That or an older sister. It was a distinctly familial gesture and James wondered at it for a moment. He knew that Pepper and Nova were friends and that they were close, but he'd never thought they were that close.

"Be good," Pepper ordered, smoothing her hand over the top of Nova's head. Nova nodded with a smile, not bothering to argue like she had with everyone else.

Pepper stepped away and Nova was left talking to Steve. James perked up, intent on eavesdropping as the two of them took a step away from him. Pepper interrupted his plans, stepping up to him like they were good friends and it was expected for her to also bid him goodbye.

Standing completely still for a moment, James wondered what it was she was there to say. It wasn't as though everyone so far hadn't warned him to take care of Nova. He'd have done it even if they didn't tell him to, but none of them seemed ready to accept that. If anyone would believe it, it would be Steve. But James wasn't sure how he felt about Steve in relation to Nova at the moment. There was still some underlying worry that nagged at him, a buzzing in his mind demanding he move Nova away from his best friend.

James knew Steve would never hurt Nova physically. He wouldn't dream of it. But he had hurt her emotionally before and that was just as bad as a physical blow. Especially considering Steve was so adept at those sorts of attacks. When he was younger, smaller, he'd had to learn how to beat people without using his physical strength. He'd become far too adept at scathing remarks and it was something that James worried he would use on Nova if given a chance.

"While you're away for the holiday, there are going to be a few updates to the labs. The air ducts, ventilation systems, and ceilings will be reinforced. Their security will be tighter and there will be cameras stationed at secure points in the systems. Thank you for the information. If you have any other security concerns, don't hesitate to find me. I'm available by appointment at my office but you could always come tell me personally in the penthouse if you feel more comfortable that way," Pepper informed him, sharp features softening as she took him in. James automatically fell into parade rest, shoulders back and each muscle in his body in line. There was something about Pepper that reminded him of his commanding officers in the Army. No non-sense types that had seen way too much in their lives. It saddened him that the woman before him was one of those sorts of people. She deserved to be protected just as much as anyone else.

"Thank you for listening to the suggestion," James offered, unsure what she was looking for in an answer. He knew a few security errors that could be fixed but bringing them up at the current moment wasn't something he was looking to do. Honestly he just wanted to pack Nova into the car and drive away. At this point he didn't even care who was driving as long as the prolonged goodbyes were done and he could finally relax. There was more danger outside the Tower, but there was also a freedom he hadn't experienced in years.

"I take all security suggestions very seriously. I would also like to thank you for taking this trip with Nova. I know she's a capable adult, but I worry about her when she's out there on her own, especially now that we know someone is looking for the compound. If something happens, she knows what to do, but I feel more comfortable knowing that someone with your training will be there," Pepper informed him, lips curling into a wry smile. "Part of the reason I left Tony was because of all the danger. I didn't think I could live worrying about him all the time and knowing he was out there making reckless decisions. It looks like I'll never stop worrying though."

"You could leave, if you wanted. They would understand," James reminded Pepper as she looked back over at Nova, who was now engaged with Stark and Steve. Steve was looking positively annoyed with the conversation while Stark looked like Christmas had actually come early. James would have laughed if he wasn't so busy observing Pepper. Her face softened significantly and James was surprised to see that she wasn't focused on Stark as he assumed she would be. She was watching Nova.

"I can't leave. Even if I wanted to, Nova and her family are as much my family as my own parents. I watched Nova grow up, you know. She was just born when Tony hired me on as a fulltime employee. It's hard not to love people when you've been with them their whole lives. Even if I'm not dating Tony, Nova still means the world to me," Pepper informed him, sighing deeply, as if the weight of what she'd realized was crushing her.

"Nova is a hard person not to like," James reminded her gently. Pepper's answering smile was soft and content.

"Yes, she is. Take care of her for us, please," Pepper gently reached out and pressed her fingers into his own, aware enough to grab his human hand instead of his metal one. James squeezed her fingers lightly in return, a silent promise that Nova would see her again.

Pepper walked off to talk to Evangeline, who accepted a hug from the elder woman easily.

"Are you ready? Or do you need a minute with your boyfriend. I can wait. Well, I can try to wait. I've been itching to start this drive for weeks, you don't even know. So you better hurry up. Do whatever it is you two do when you're leaving one another for a whole fucking day," Nova skipped over, talking a mile a minute before grabbing his prosthetic and physically dragging him toward Steve. James decided to humor her and followed behind while she kept talking. He was in no mood to stop her. "It's not like we're going on a yearlong sabbatical to Antarctica, people. Just driving to Mama's house. It's only a state away! What could possibly happen?!"

"Please don't jinx it, Nova Nugget," Tony broke in. James had to agree. Those were famous last words.

"I'm not jinxing it, I'm just impatient. Now, kiss and say goodbye," Nova shoved James toward Steve, who was watching him carefully. James held in a sigh, in no mood to fight with Steve. As long as Nova was happy with him, James didn't see any need to make his friend think he was still upset.

"I'll see you in two days," James informed his friend, meeting his sky blue eyes with his own much darker blue. Steve's lips immediately jumped to a smile and James braced himself not a moment too soon as Steve was dragging him into a tight hug, slapping his back firmly. James carefully hugged Steve back, accepting the affection in the only way he knew how.

"Take care of yourself. Call if anything happens," Steve demanded, letting James pull away after a moment. Nova grabbed James's hand immediately, trying desperately to haul him off. James resisted for just long enough for Nova to notice, her resulting scowl sent directly to him. James just relaxed and trailed after her, forcing her pace to slow down. "I mean it, Nova, call if anything happens. _Anything_."

"I can't hear you!" Nova hollered back, shoving James toward the passenger's side as she slid around to the driver's seat. James ducked in to find Nova was tugging on brown leather driving gloves with the knuckles cut out. With a wave and a friendly honk, they tore out of the underground parking lot at the Tower and into the New York early morning air.


	43. Let's Start a Riot!

**Song: Riot by Three Days Grace**

 **Hello! I hope everyone had a great week and thanks for all the awesome comments. So, I was kind of going back and forth on if I should post anything on here, but why not? If you're interested, I'm currently writing an original manuscript and have been archiving my process on Tumblr. Feel free to follow me, ask me questions, sometimes I also post updates about Supernova just because I work on it too. My Tumblr is backwardsdaydream and I post a few times a week. As always, any questions/comments/concerns, feel free to message me! Hope everyone's ready for some excitement!**

"Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole!" Nova cried, swiping at James's hand as he reached out to change the dial on the radio for the hundredth time in the last hour. Jerking back, James scowled at her, taking a long drink of his slushy. His lips were bright red but Nova was holding in her laughter until the most opportune moment. Mostly because it was oddly endearing to see something so ordinary on a man who was so ridiculously extraordinary.

James was an honest to god superhero who was sitting in her car, drinking his first slushy (ever!) and constantly complaining about the music she was playing. It was so domestic Nova was fairly sure she was hallucinating. Before she could really consider that option, James was reaching out again, intent on changing the radio station.

Rolling her eyes, Nova flicked to a new playlist on her phone. It wasn't that she didn't want him to like the music, it was just that he was having musical ADD and couldn't settle on a song to save his own life. She'd gotten him his own Stark Pad so that he could pick music he liked, but he couldn't settle on anything while they were in the car. In fact, he couldn't sit still at all. He'd been fidgeting the entire drive and it was starting to drive Nova insane. She had a hard enough time sitting still on her own, his anxiety was infecting her bones and she could legitimately feel the vibrations start along her skin, telling her she needed to move or do something to get out of the situation.

"You know we're only five hours in, right? I mean, if you want, I can drop you off at the next rest stop. Steve would be able to get here in about half an hour in the jet, less if he's feeling nice and/or thinks that we're being attacked. It's not like you have to drive with me if you'd feel more comfortable on the jet. I totally get it," Nova promised.

Actually, she wouldn't be as okay with it as she liked to pretend. She'd been looking forward to having him on the trip with her and would be a little broken up if he decided to skip out. But James didn't need to know that. Obviously, the car ride was making him a little nervous. If he needed to go in the jet, she was cool with it, why wouldn't she be? She was just kind of looking forward to being able to be alone with him again, somewhere that wasn't the Tower with Tony's all-knowing little shit of an AI watching their every move. That didn't mean she was going to force James to ride in a car with her for any longer than he had to if he wasn't having fun.

"I'm staying," James informed her resolutely, voice a deep, dangerous growl. A quick glance at the man in the seat next to her showed that James was glaring at her, as if suggesting he go with Steve and Evie instead was the highest of all insults. Shrugging, Nova accepted his response. If she didn't, it would be an argument she wouldn't win anyway. No one was happy she wanted to drive herself to the Dugan house, but they let her because James was with her. If he suddenly decided not to go with her, Nova knew Evie would come out and drag her ass into the jet. It was because she loved her, of course, but that didn't make it any less annoying.

"Well, no more sugar for you if you're going to be riding with me. Your knee is bobbing so fast that it's shaking the car. Look, I know what I'm doing. The route is preset and Tony and Evie will know our movements. If something changes, we have burner phones to use to call them and we have safe houses set up. No one is going to come and hurt us and, if they try, I brought along the widow's bites I've been redesigning. I think Natasha will enjoy them, they're like a Taser, kind of. They have an electric current that comes from a free standing energy package kind of like Tony's ark reactor. There are little capsules around the wrists that inject various toxins into an opponent should you release them and, the best part, they have metal ringlets throughout the fingers of the gloves that are completely flexible. You can't even tell they're there. But, when you punch someone, it has the same strength behind it as a pair of brass knuckles," Nova explained excitedly, bouncing in her seat as she signaled to turn right onto another backroad that would take them toward the motel they were going to be staying in for the night.

"You make Natalia's widow's bites?" James asked, his attention fully on her now.

"Someone has to. People usually assume that Tony does it or some super-secret SHIELD agent. Technically, I was the super-secret SHIELD agent, but I'm not with SHIELD anymore. I work for Tony, who requested I keep up with my Avengers related projects. Please don't tell her, she doesn't know and I'd like to keep it that way. Tony is the one who gives them to her and she probably assumes he's been making them. Or, more likely, she already knows it's me and doesn't give a shit as long as they work. It's not a big deal, I promise," Nova begged, shooting him puppy dog eyes in the hopes of keeping him quiet.

"She would know who was making her equipment," James informed her contemplatively. Nova shrugged, not really caring. If Natasha knew, she hadn't brought it up. If she didn't know, Nova wasn't going to bring it up. If someone hadn't told Natalia, she might feel resentful. And Nova didn't want to deal with that particular woman when she was upset. Their truce was fragile. Nova wasn't about to break it with something so ridiculous.

"If you must know, I make equipment for Clint Barton too. Arrows are so fun to make. Tony and I consult a lot on his equipment because it's so complex. I mean, an arrow quiver that chooses custom tips for his arrows, puts them on said arrows, and doesn't screw up ever? The design was my idea, Tony wrote the code. And it doesn't have an outside circuit, so no one can fuck with it even if they wanted to. Also, I worked on Sam Wilson's wings once. Don't tell him, though. He's not supposed to know. Tony will kill me if he finds out I told you because Wilson is super overprotective of his wings. He legit calls them his babies," Nova bit into her lip, wondering just how upset Sam would be that she had handled his wings. They were still in one piece and she hadn't ruined them, she'd just really wanted a look.

Like James's arm, the tech behind Sam's wings could help with her research. Hammer Industries, rat bastards, had come up with the EXO-Falcon design and Nova had wanted a look. Tony had taken the Hammer Industries wings and destroyed them, so the only ones she had to check out were Tony's new set that he had made specifically for Sam. It had taken her two days and hundreds of tests to get all the relevant information, but she was sure that she could use both sets of data to come up with a working prosthetic in no time. Then again, she hadn't had any time lately and it was starting to affect her research. At some point, she was going to have to kick James out of the lab so she could actually work on her designs. He was a distraction that her work couldn't afford. Her totally favorite distraction. If he'd stop making her sleep, she could do everything she wanted and more. Damn sleep…

"Have you worked on anything for me?" James asked, brow furrowed as he watched her. Nova kept her focus mainly on the road, knowing that he was nervous about their drive. As long as she kept him talking, he seemed to calm down. Maybe that was the secret. Then again, it could have been what she was talking about. It might make him nervous to realize that she'd worked on weapons when he didn't know about it. Still, she wasn't going to lie to him.

"Of course. I worked on a few of the specialty weapons you've used. That rocket launcher, the one that shoots the magnetic bombs that go under the cars? I reverse engineered that from the security footage that was captured from the day Nick Fury died. I also worked on the sniper rifle you were given with the specialized bullets. Tony was working on finding Dr. Banner while that was in production, so I got to try out the final product on the shooting range," Nova explained, tapping her fingers against the wheel lightly. Another car turned in behind them and she eyed it.

The plates were out of state. That in and of itself wasn't suspicious. People crossed boarders all the time around New York and Boston. The plates were from Pennsylvania, clear license plate number and everything. There were two people in the car and both were men. Judging by the size of the Sedan, around six feet. Large shoulders and straight backs alerted her to the fact that something was about to go horribly, horribly wrong. There was no way in hell those dudes were just tourists.

"If you worked on my weapons, why didn't you tell me?" James demanded, not yet realizing what Nova had been trained to see. He was focused on her. If anyone else was in the car with him, it would get him killed. Thank Heimdall Nova was the one driving.

"Jamie, I don't want you to panic," Nova started in a calm, soothing voice. James immediately straightened in his seat, eyes flickering to mirrors and hand automatically reaching for the small of his back, where he kept his concealed gun. He thought she didn't know he had weapons on him at all times, but Nova had actually been counting on that. It made it easier to grab his weapons if she didn't mention it. Also, if she needed to use that weapon for any reason, it gave her an advantage to know he had one she could steal. The gun Natalia had given her had been slipped into the glove box before they'd made it out of New York City because of the discomfort. James hadn't been totally for the idea of her giving up the gun, but Nova preferred comfort over weapons when she had a literal assassin in the car with her. If she needed a weapon, she'd steal one of his.

"They're not civilians," James's voice was hard, almost toneless as he realized what was going on. Nova wanted to smack herself for alerting him, but it was necessary. Only five hours in and they were being tailed. With the intention to take them out, obviously. There was no other way to put it. If the car was just meant to track their progress, they wouldn't have gotten close enough for Nova to recognize them. They would have stayed back, acting like they were going somewhere else. If that was the intention of whoever the hell was trying to kill them, well, they chose a shitty driver.

"No, they're not. I need you to take them out. Shoot out a tire or something, enough to give me time to get away. I have secrets under the hood of this normal looking shell, but I need a chance to use those without getting us killed. If I let the Nitro go while people are shooting at us, this car will blow up and we'll go bye-bye," Nova informed James seriously, pressing a little harder on the gas as she sped past the speed limit, mind running through her options.

The hotel was a hundred miles away. She was supposed to stay on this backroad for another thirty minutes at fifty miles an hour. If she went over fifty, she would get to the turn off faster, but she couldn't risk being followed to the hotel. If they knew she had a set path, whoever was tracking them would figure out the game plan. That couldn't happen. Calling Evie and Steve was out of the question for the moment, but they wouldn't be able to come anyway. If the person trying to find the Dugan house was ready to hurt Nova and James, she couldn't risk Evie and Steve getting hurt. They would have to cut communication and go dark the rest of the way. That meant that she needed to figure her own way out of this.

"If I start shooting, they'll shoot back," James reminded her carefully, knocking Nova out of her thoughts and back into the moment.

"There's a turnoff coming up. If we can get there and you can shoot out the tires before they see which turnoff we take, I can get us out of this," Nova vowed, tightening her fingers on the wheel and taking a deep, steadying breath. This was what she was trained for. All she had to do was get them to a safe house and they could ditch the car and snag another one. Tony had safe houses set up all over the country, but there were also Dugan safe houses they could go to if they had to. They had multiple properties funded by shell companies around the country that they could use if something ever happened to the Dugan compound. Most of the Legacies knew about them too. If worst came to worst, Nova knew she could stop at Grandma Falsworth's home. She refused to move in with any of her grandchildren and had instead kept an estate after her husband had passed. She was the daughter of Monty Falsworth and only a bit older than Nova's mama, but they called her grandma anyway. She would welcome Nova home with open arms. But that would put her in danger and Nova couldn't do that.

"Keep low," James snapped, hand twitching toward her. Nova could just imagine that he wanted to shove her head down behind the seat to keep her safe but knew he couldn't. Not while she was behind the wheel. And if he hurt her car, she was going to shoot him instead of the bad guys.

"The windows are bullet proof. Tony made sure of it. We have a good chance of making it out of this one alive. Now, look alive, Jamie. We're about to start a fight," Nova cheered, reaching over and cranking up the radio. James winced as soon as the sound hit his ears. "Riot" by Three Days Grace pumped through the speakers.

James unbuckled, pulling a gun that should not have been able to fit in the holster so seamlessly from the small of his back, the barrel bigger than Nova's hand. He started to roll down the window, but Nova squeaked in surprise before he could get it all the way down.

One of the men behind them had had the same idea.

His gun was out and James rolled the window up as bullets started raining down. The "ping-ping" of the bullets hitting the bullet proof glass sent adrenaline pouring through Nova's blood stream, the noise louder than even the music she was playing. In retaliation, Nova turned it up.

James's hand on the back of her head surprised her enough that they swerved a little on the road, her shock turning to a bolt of lust as his lips crashed onto her own as he forced her to face him, her eyes automatically sliding closed as his tongue caressed hers. It was hot and desperate as he drank her in like they would never see one another again. Nova gave as good as she got, a pulse of heat burning through her core. Their teeth clashed together and then he was pulling away, a fire burning in his eyes as he rolled down the window and leaned out, returning fire without once hesitating.

Nova shook herself physically, dispelling the sudden urge to pull the car over and kiss that asshole senseless. He was distracting her from the important bit of work she needed to do. As in, getting them the hell out of dodge.

Focusing on the road, Nova glanced in all of her mirrors, gauging the direction the wind resistance was coming from and where the shooter was positioned as well as the driver. The deafening sound of gunshots met Nova's ears as James returned fire, obviously not worried about hurting anyone. Nova kept an eye on everything, noting that the glass wasn't bulletproof in their vehicle.

"I'm going to go left!" Nova yelled over the sound of the music and the gunshots. James ducked back into the car, blinking at her for a moment as if he'd forgotten she existed. She really hoped that wasn't the case. A case of the not-Jameses wouldn't really help them at the moment. Nova figured that not-James really wouldn't appreciate their situation or the intricacies involved, at least on Nova's end. So far, James was listening to her fairly well and wasn't arguing her points. She had no idea what not-James would do.

Not-James was basically a specialist crossed with an assassin, he would want nothing to do with her help. At least James acknowledged that she was useful and let her do her work with minimal amounts of complaining. That was all she could really hope for. After all, James hadn't seen her fight yet. He'd sparred with her, but that wasn't a real battle and she'd kind of been fucking with him the entire time. He didn't know how proficiently her mind worked when variables were involved.

James reached out without preamble and turned the volume of the music down, hard eyes softening slightly as he reached out to brush a loose wave off of Nova's cheek. "You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, I'm taking a left, get your ass out there and take those bastards down, you hear me?" Nova demanded, shooting him a stern, no nonsense look. One corner of James's lips tilted into a wicked smirk and he leaned over, biting her shoulder playfully. Nova squeaked and shooed him away, wincing as the sound of a fresh round of bullets hitting her car met her ears. They'd switched to a larger caliber weapon and Nova physically jumped when the crack of glass met her ears.

"Yes, ma'am," James drawled, his Brooklyn accent coming through in full force. Minerva McGonagall, who knew that could be so fucking hot?

He was out the window before Nova could answer him back, though she did get a nice view of his ass as he knelt on the seat. Growling low in her throat at her hormones attempting to control the situation, Nova focused back on the road. The turn was coming and the bastards were still following them. If James couldn't take them out, she would need to do something. Aside from speed that would surprise anyone, the car had a few installations that Tony had been more than happy to provide. The only problem with using it was that Nova wasn't sure that this would be the last time they would be chased on their way to the next safe house.

"I can't get a line on them," James appeared back in the cab, his hair windblown sexily. The dark look was back in his eyes and Nova fought off a sigh. Yeah, she was going to have to pull out the accessories if only to get that look off of his face.

A quick glance at the back window showed that the crack was spider webbing out. A few more hits and the glass was going to fracture, their protection gone. Stupid bullet proof glass, why did the larger calibers damage it? A message to Tony would take care of this half assed shit that was installed on her car. This was not up to Stark standards.

"It's fine. I have just the thing," Nova promised, deftly keeping an eye on the assholes behind them.

Reaching toward the radio, Nova hit the off button twice in a row, effectively turning off her music and opening a new feature. James jumped when the entire radio section of the car folded down, revealing a Stark Pad with targeting capabilities and an emergency call button. It could also drive the car for them if they were injured. At least in theory. No one had tried that little gem out yet and Nova didn't want to be the first.

Pressing the yellow button in the middle of the red and the green buttons because they weren't in a dire situation, Nova scanned the options. They were typical of a Stark invention. Oil slick, road spikes, fire. Did those even work outside the movies? Either way, she had to try something. The electromagnet that would fry their vehicle looked like a good option. Nova knew Tony was basically experimenting with the oil slick and the fire, but the electromagnet was for when she was actually in trouble, like when some assholes were shooting at them.

"Get ready for me to gun it. I'd say put on your seatbelt, but you know, you'll probably survive a crash if it came to that. Me, on the other hand, I would probably at least be injured. Fragile human bones over here can't take super strain like yours," Nova informed James, eyeing the information on the screen. There was a legitimate disclaimer on the screen and Nova sighed, accepting the terms of service without bothering to read it. She probably just told Tony he could sell her kidneys on the black market, but she'd deal with that later.

"You wouldn't get hurt," James growled, leaning between the seats to dig through his weapon bag to pull out another gun. This one looked a hell of a lot more dangerous than the previous one and Nova wholeheartedly approved of his taste in weapons, especially as he started to assemble a rifle that would make Grandpa Dugan jealous.

"You can't promise that so don't even start. Here we go," Nova scanned all her mirrors again, taking her foot off the gas after ensuring that she wouldn't be hurting anyone else. The car started slowing dramatically as soon as the gas was off and Nova kept straight as the car behind them sped up toward them. James turned in his seat to watch, weapon up and aimed with both hands. He was crouched in his seat awkwardly, the sniper rifle resting lightly against his metal shoulder as he sighted them. Nova really didn't want James to have to kill anyone, especially not for her, but he wouldn't listen to her if she told him not to. They were in danger and that was all he could see right now.

Another barrage of bullets came flying at them and Nova realized as soon as James grabbed her that she'd misjudged their initiative. He was shoving her down as the bullets hit their car, the crash of glass breaking echoing through the car. One of James's hands protected her head as he moved closer to her, but the biting pain of glass digging into her abdomen had her growling in pain. Before she could really think through the pain, Nova was popping her head up to check where the assholes were. James snarled wordlessly at her, trying to force her back down, but Nova kept her eyes on them.

As soon as the other car got into acceptable range, Nova released the electromagnet.


	44. On the Road Again

**Hello, hello! I hope everyone's had a great week. I've been on Spring Break which means that I've gotten nothing done! Honestly I've just been catching up on sleep. Thanks for all the awesome responses to the last chapter, I hope you enjoy this one just as much! As always, let me know what you think!**

"Hold on!" Nova cried, slamming her foot down on the gas. James gripped the back of her seat for balance, snarling at her complete disregard for her own safety. Grabbing the rifle he'd dropped in favor of ensuring Nova's safety, James swung it back up to rest it against his shoulder, the familiarity lost as he took a deep breath, fighting off the impending blackout. He couldn't let the Asset out. It was too dangerous to leave Nova alone with that side of him in a battle. What if he hurt her?

He hadn't been able to get a line on the people following them earlier, but his rifle would make the work easy. Pistols only worked so well in long range situations, no matter the hand that used them. As the Asset, James was trained in shooting long range as well as short range. He should have been able to make the shot no matter the circumstances, but his mind kept blinking back to Nova, laughingly telling him that she wouldn't survive a car crash unscathed.

What if something went wrong and they crashed? What if Nova got hurt?

Gritting his teeth, James widened his knees to help maintain balance, eyes on the target. Before he could really consider taking a shot at the driver, the car blew up. If he had trained less, he would have jumped at the surprise. Instead, it was Nova who jerked in her seat, wide eyes flickering to all the mirrors before she seemed to decide that watching the road wasn't as important as seeing what had happened behind them.

Both of them stared as the engine seemed to burst out of the hood of the car, a ball of fire creating a small mushroom cloud. The driver lost control of the car and the entire thing swerved toward the left.

"I'm taking a right turn…." Nova trailed off, turning back to face the road. James kept his eyes firmly on the targets, ducking his head to try and locate the men through his scope. The movements of the car weren't helping but James simply lifted the rifle in his metal arm and held it as still as he could, right pointer finger on the trigger. If he saw that they survived the ensuing crash, he was going to take them out. There was no way he was going to let people who were dangerous to Nova live to see another day, especially not after they shot at her. "NOW!"

Nova spun the wheel deftly, hands flying as she sent them careening around the corner she had been prepared to take.

"Охуе́ть!" James grunted in surprise, steadying himself with a firm grip on the chair he was occupying. A quick glance at Nova let him know that she hadn't heard the word that had popped out of his mouth, all the better. Swearing in front of women might be common nowadays but the manners his ma drilled into his head were still there, under years of brainwashing and layers of ice.

A quick look back showed that the trees definitely obscured the view of the other car and that they were safe for the time being. They would need to get a new car and find a safe house quickly, but Nova knew what she was doing. He knew that. It didn't make him worry any less.

"Okay, I'm going to get us out of this mess and we're going to find a nice, safe house that we can hide in for the night. Because tomorrow is another day and we can still make it to the Dugan house on time if we drive fast enough. All we have to do is keep our heads down and not get followed again. That has to be simple, right?" Nova demanded, glancing at him sideways as she drove them at speeds that would get them arrested immediately should they get caught. He was surprised at the skill she had while driving. The car almost never left the middle of their lane. When it did, it was generally on purpose and back to center in moments. It was beautiful to watch her have so much confidence in her abilities. He knew she was a driver, but he also knew that she hadn't worked on a case in that sort of capacity in months. The fact that she so seamlessly fell into the role surprised him.

"We'll make it to your family," James vowed, knowing that he would do whatever it takes to get Nova safely back to her family. As long as Nova was with her family, she was as safe as she could be. They would never let anything happen to her. They'd go to hell and back to save her, just as they had for Evangeline. Doing anything to protect Nova, James understood particularly well. All he wanted was for Nova to be safe and away from the danger that came with things like driving across the country to a secret location no one knew about and living in Stark's Tower.

James wished for the first time that Nova was somewhere safe right now instead of sitting next to him. He had absolutely no qualms about going into the danger on his own, but taking Nova with him? If she got hurt, he wouldn't forgive himself and he wouldn't have control over his actions if it happened. He had killed before and he would kill again if someone threatened Nova's life in any way, shape, or form.

"Damn straight. I'm not letting anyone hurt us. As long as we get to one of the safe houses we'll be fine. It's only an hour drive, that's not too long, right? I can drive an hour in New York and only be a block away from where I started. It will be like a blink of an eye for this ride because I can take the back roads. You're going to have contact Evie and Steve, though. They're not going to like this. I'm going dark. But let them know we're all right and that there's a mess to clean up at our last GPS coordinates. Tony will send in a cleanup crew," Nova informed him quickly, all in one breath.

Her hands were firm on the steering wheel but he could tell that the adrenaline was still pumping through her veins at an accelerated rate. Her heartrate was elevated and she was running on her fight or flight instincts. It took everything in James not to reach out and calm her down. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with her response, it was that her anxiety was seeping into his own bones and he could feel the frayed edges of his nerves rubbing raw. If they didn't make it to a safe house soon, there was a good chance that he would lose control of that part of him.

He lost what little control he was maintaining at the sight of a dark red stain spreading near her abdomen.

"You're hurt!" James snapped, immediately reaching for her. Nova slowed the car for a moment, glancing down at the crimson blood that was soaking through the sweater she was wearing. Her raised eyebrow wasn't one of surprise and he realized she had to have felt it while she was driving. A miniscule part of him was impressed. She'd have made a fantastic spider.

"It was just a bit of glass, nothing to worry about. You have a couple of cuts too, it's fine," Nova shrugged it off easily, focusing back on her driving.

James reached out, carefully peeling the sticky mess away from Nova's skin to see the damage. He wasn't going to let this go until he was sure that she wasn't bleeding out or bleeding internally. Nova twitched when his metal fingers brushed her warm skin but he ignored her, leaning down for a better view. The gash wasn't too deep. A piece of glass was still stuck in the wound and James cursed under his breath, ensuring Nova couldn't hear it. She was going to be in pain for Christmas, something he'd been desperate to avoid.

"How's it look, Jamie?" Nova demanded, her voice just as chipper as before.

"It looks like you were hit with glass when the window imploded," James snapped back, reaching back blindly for his own bag. Deftly he removed the first aid kit and brought it up, ready to help in any way he could. Nova was stubborn but James was fairly certain he beat her in that department. Either way, he was going to make sure her wound was tended to before an infection or something worse could grab her.

"But it's not deep and I'm fine so we can worry about it later- Hot Damn!" Nova shrieked, James lips curling into a scowl as he tugged out the bit of glass that was stuck in her side. It was easily the size of one of her hands and James had to close his eyes against the sight for a moment. If it had hit her differently, it could have killed her. He never would have been able to help her and she'd have been gone before he could have had the chance. Just the thought sent a bolt of ice through his veins.

Blood started to pour from the wound and James quickly pressed some clean gauze into it, staunching the flow of blood and hoping like hell that the wound would clot before he had to worry about her bleeding out. The pressure caused her face to pale, a grimace attempting to twist her lips before she was forcing a smile.

"I promise to let you clean this up, but then you have to call your boyfriend," Nova teased James, her voice an octave higher than normal. James catalogued this as a pain response in some long buried corner of his brain that he didn't want back.

"I'll call Steve. He isn't going to be happy," James reminded Nova, just to make sure she was aware of what she was asking him to do. He had no issues telling Steve to back off. It was obvious their best friends weren't ready to be separated after so long apart, as if James and Nova weren't perfectly capable of taking care of themselves when the need arose. They had been on their own for months and were perfectly fine. It was too bad that Evangeline and Steve hadn't seen that outcome from their adventures off on their own.

They probably shouldn't outright mention Nova's injuries. As much as James wanted to see Steve and Evangeline lay into Nova, he knew that it would be the end of this road trip. He also knew that, for whatever reason, Nova desperately needed this chance to unwind. If he could give that to her, he would. Even if it meant keeping her wounds from their best friends.

"I know, but he's going to have to back the fuck off. Tell him I said that if you have to. He needs to learn to let people take care of themselves. Besides, Evie will see the tactical advantage and it's not like Tony won't be able to find us if something goes wrong. I have an emergency beacon on me at all times. If something terrible happens, I can get your arm to give off frequencies they'll be able to find no problem," Nova shrugged nonchalantly while James shot her a dubious look. The slight paling of her face at the motion let him know that Nova wasn't quite as numb to the pain as she wanted him to think, which let him focus on her words instead of her injury.

He didn't want to know what it was she was planning on doing to his arm if something happened. It seemed better not to think on it too much. Whatever it was, he trusted her not to hurt him at the very least. At the most, she could probably use the mechanics in his arm to make some sort of bomb if she was forced to. Either way, he hoped it didn't come to that.

"Once you're done with Steve, I'll need a line to Tony. I have to tell him the change in plans. You might think Steve is the worrier in this equation but I promise you that Tony is about a thousand times worse than the good captain. Steve will stop if you ask him to. Tony is going to require physical evidence, a nondisclosure agreement, and my word that we won't get caught up in some sort of problem while we're on the road. If there is anyone in the entire world who loves too damn much, it's Tony," Nova shook her head fondly, a small smile working its way onto her lips. James grabbed his own phone, a Stark Phone that Stark had given him when he'd officially joined the team. It was small and looked breakable, though he'd been told multiple times that he could try to crush it in his metal hand and it wouldn't break. James hadn't tried it yet.

Nova seemed to relax a little at the thought of Stark, her shoulders loosening slightly as she focused back in on the road.

If talking about Stark would help calm Nova down, James was fine with it. He knew how much Nova adored Stark. It was something that escaped his logic. He had seen Stark and Steve interact with one another and it was very close to being outright abuse. At least abrasive. Something about Stark rubbed Steve the wrong way. While James could accept that Steve wouldn't like Stark on first meeting him, after working with him for a while, James could see that Stark and Steve weren't all that different. Both head strong in their own way, why wouldn't they get along when they were both prone to world saving stunts?

James had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with Howard Stark. He'd only met the man a handful of times, but Steve was good friends with him. If James heard right, he wasn't the best father. And that seemed to bother Steve more than the current Stark could understand. It also didn't help that part of the reason the younger Stark hated Steve had to do with his father searching for Steve for so long. Apparently, Howard Stark had never given up on finding Steve. If the man was still alive, James would have hugged him for that alone.

"As soon as I'm done cleaning this out," James promised, grabbing a few pads of gauze. He found the antiseptic and poured a generous amount onto new gauze, eyes flicking up to Nova. She was watching the road resolutely, her knuckles white with how hard she was gripping the wheel. Apparently, she knew how much this would hurt. Forcing himself to ignore her reaction, James pressed the gauze against the wound, tensing as Nova sucked in a sharp breath, flinching under his hands and gritting her teeth so hard he was sure she was going to crack teeth.

For a moment, he wasn't sure who he was anymore. Was he the Asset? Was he Bucky? Was he James? Was he Jamie? Did it matter? He'd done his best not to make this woman before him fear him and he had just made her flinch away. People only flinched back when they were scared or in pain. The answer was simple: he was just a monster.

"James, I think you got it clean."

Rough fingertips brushed the back of his hand and James snapped back into his body, head flicking up to see that Nova was watching him with a concerned frown. Blinking back any confusion, James carefully wrapped her wound, pressing a hand over top for a moment in a silent prayer to the universe to keep Nova safe. Just Nova. He would gladly watch the universe burn to see her live.

"Are you okay?" Nova demanded as soon as he was done, her pale face a staunch reminder of her wounds and what he had been thinking about. Shaking off the question, James redirected.

"I'll message Steve. He'll back off. What are you going to tell Stark?" James asked to keep Nova talking, noting that being quiet seemed to make her more upset. Her quick glance in his direction while he started typing out the situation to Steve was all the acknowledgement he got for a moment before her mouth opened and words spilled out.

"I'm not really sure yet. He's going to want all the details. I can't believe that they found us so quickly. There has to be something we're missing. Evie said that she was looking into the people who were trying to find the Dugan house, but maybe we missed something. The chatter has gone quiet, but that just means whoever's looking for us went dark. It's a good strategy, we're using it after this. But I don't have any useful information to give him. I didn't get a good look at the plates and it's not like we can go back and demand answers," Nova complained, nibbling on her bottom lip viciously while her fingers tapped against the steering wheel. James frowned tightly as he finished out a quick rundown for Steve, not wanting to call when Nova was so obviously upset. Steve could wait for now.

"You don't have to give him all the answers," James reminded Nova, who took another quick turn. Chocolate eyes flickered to his face as if he was the one with all the answers. James desperately wished that he could tell her exactly who was trying to hurt her and her family. He wanted to be able to tell her exactly what she needed to hear, but he couldn't. Whoever was looking for them had the head start and he hadn't been brought into the investigation. None of them knew who was behind it and he had no new information accept that someone had realized who they were and where they were going.

"I don't know what to do. The Dugan house is the best kept secret in the world. I'm not even joking. No one has ever breeched our security. I can't risk leading someone there. If the enemy gets in, people will die and I can't lose anyone else," her voice cracked on the last part and James reached out, peeling her right hand off of the steering wheel. Before he could really think through his options, he linked their fingers, her thin hand fitting perfectly against his own broader palm. As soon as they were touching, Nova latched on like her life depended on it. "What if they find the house?"

"They won't find it. And, if they do, we'll take care of it," James informed her seriously. No one would know where Nova's family was. It meant too much to her and it was the only really safe place in the world at the moment for any of them. James would protect that and he knew that the other Avengers would help him.

"You can't make promises like that. If they find it, my family is in danger. I know that I always talk about getting away from them, but I love them. And I can't let them get hurt," Nova tightened her fingers on his hand and James tightened his hold as well, careful not to squeeze too hard.

"Your family is made up of some of the best agents SHIELD has ever seen. Even if they are found, they'll fight their way out. They're going to be fine. And we'll be there soon. Steve, Natalia, Barton, they'll all be there," James reminded her gently, ignoring the buzzing of his phone as Steve tried to call him. Nova didn't even seem to notice the sound, attention hundreds of miles away. He wished that he could kill the people who were threatening her family. Killing people wasn't something he necessarily found comfort in but he would if they were after Nova. If anything happened to her family, James was going to start hunting them down, one by one. He wouldn't stop until they were gone.

"I hope you're right. I just want them all to be safe. Why is it so hard to be safe? Look at Evie. She trusted Grant and he betrayed her," Nova huffed, eyebrows drawing together in her annoyance.

"He gave her the information she was looking for," James reminded Nova, running his metal thumb over the back of her hand gently. It would be better if he had skin to skin contact. God, how he wished he could touch her with that hand. The warmth of her skin beneath his palm, the smooth curve of her fingers, the rough patches of skin that were remnants of callouses that were still healing. The sensation wasn't the same and he wished he could feel it.

"Grant dropped a flash drive in her boot after stabbing her. He had no idea she was going to live and he hired her bat shit crazy brother as a sidekick. If he was thinking with his brain, he would have realized that that asshole would try to kill her. Alan was always insane. I'm oblivious to that sort of thing and even I noticed that he had it out for Evie. Grant doesn't get a pass just because he knew that the information would somehow get to us. Because the information would have gotten to us if Evie died too. He knew we wouldn't leave without proof she was dead, i.e. a body. Grant's just as nuts as Alan. And he was actually pretty cool at the Academy," Nova sped the car up as she got angrier, a little line appearing between her eyebrows as she scowled deeply.

James wasn't saying that Grant Ward was a good person in the least. The man could go to hell for all James cared. But he had given Evangeline the information she had been looking for. Whether or not he was a good person didn't matter, not to Evangeline. Somehow, even though she was still scared of him, Evangeline had managed to forgive the man who had almost killed her. James hadn't and neither had anyone else who cared about her, but she had managed.

Sometimes, he wished that he was more like Evangeline. She had a good heart. James's heart had never been good.

If he had to make a choice between Steve and a hundred other kids when they were young, he'd have chosen Steve in a heartbeat. There was never any choice. Steve had to live. And when they'd gone to the war, James had chosen his country and his people over thousands of others. And when Steve had asked him, he'd gone on missions and killed people from afar to ensure victory. Were they bad people? Good people? People just doing their jobs? He hadn't cared. Evangeline would have.

"Do you think it's Grant again?" Nova's voice was so quiet that James almost missed her question, snapping out of his thoughts as soon as he realized that she was talking to him.

"Do you?" he countered, unsure how to answer.

Logically, Grant Ward made sense. Someone was looking for the Dugan house and Ward was the one who was known to run HYDRA. If someone was looking for the Dugans, there was a good chance HYDRA was behind it. Finding that sort of safe house would be paramount for them if they wanted to win the war. However, if he was someone who cared about Evangeline and Nova like they thought he was originally, Grant Ward wouldn't lead the neo-Nazi organization to their house.

James had never personally met Grant Ward, but he was sure he knew how to manipulate him if he had to. Everyone could be manipulated if the information was in front of you.

James made a mental note to start looking into Grant Ward and other known HYDRA associates to start building up a dossier. If he kept to it, he could have enough information to outline an attack in a couple of months. He would need resources to get more information, but he was sure Evangeline would help him if he asked. Nova would help, but he wasn't sure she should know about his plans. She might get upset or insist on helping him on the actual mission. Steve wouldn't allow him to work on it.

The best person he could think of to ask was Stark.

Stark was the only person who had no personal connection to James himself. He had no interest in him being dead or alive and he would let James do whatever he wanted so long as he was trying to protect Nova. It might get messy but with Stark on his side, James was basically invincible.

"It makes sense. Grant knows about the Dugan house. He knew we went there for holidays. He's never been there so he can't give away the information, but he knows that it exists, which is more proof than most people have. The Dugan house is kind of a legend that no one confirms or denies. But Evie and I were young and we thought it was so cool… and we trusted him," Nova shook her head, biting into her lip again. James tightened his grip on her hand to get her attention.

"It's not your fault he turned out to be a bad guy. Trusting people isn't a crime," James informed her, thinking of how blindly he'd followed his handlers. In some weird way, he'd had to trust them with his life. They would always bring him back to the compound safely and he trusted them to do that. He trusted them to pick his targets.

"I should have seen it. Grant Ward was like the dictionary definition of psycho. Always alone, never trusted anyone, insisted on being a specialist even though he was originally slotted for a team. Evangeline is the one who trusts people, not me. I should have been paying attention," Nova snarled under her breath, beating herself up. James frowned tightly at the sight.

He was interrupted before he could answer by his phone again.

"If you don't answer that, he's just going to keep calling," Nova reminded him, forcing her tone to lighten. James didn't believe it for a moment but knew that she had a point. Steve wasn't going to stop calling until he knew what was going on. All James had to do was give him a quick rundown and then he could focus on convincing Nova that she wasn't to blame for trusting someone.


	45. Overprotective Billionaire Playboys

**I'm so sorry, don't hate me! I missed last week's deadline because my bestest friend came to visit and I had a full weekend planned! If anyone caught the Supernatural reference in the last chapter, you're my hero. Also, I'm doing Camp Nano for my original work, so this month is going to be insane. Anyone else doing Camp Nano? I hope if you are, all goes well! Let me know what you think!**

"Are you okay?" was the first question out of Tony's mouth when he answered the phone. Nova felt her lips curl into a smile as she glanced sideways at James. He was still on the phone with Steve, half an hour after he decided to finally answer the call. His lips were pouted out and he looked about three minutes from just chucking his phone out the window and giving up. Apparently, James had forgotten all about the nifty little button on his phone that allowed him to hang up on people when they were annoying him.

"We're fine," Nova answered quickly, wondering how he'd already found out about the incident. Shoving that out of her mind, Nova reminded herself that this was Tony, who had his own satellite in space and was probably following them with it. She wouldn't put it past him. Tony took protective to a whole new level. Just ask Pepper.

"Are you sure? I can be there in fifteen minutes if you need an extraction," Tony quickly informed her, as if he was already dressed in the suit and ready to go. He probably was.

Clicking open the center console in the car, Nova eyed the candy inside curiously. There were a handful of dumdums that had been thrown in for the ride, a definitive clue that Nova had been driving. Most of them were pink, which was the best thing ever to Nova. Grabbing one of those, she started digging through the console with one hand, attempting to find a butterscotch or root beer lollipop for James.

"You know that we can't do that. It'll be too conspicuous. Besides, we need to figure out who's following us and this is the best way to do it. Have you gotten a cleanup crew to the crash site yet?" Nova demanded, deftly turning toward the last road they were going to be on until they hit the safe house she was planning on using. She hadn't personally been there before but Maggie said that it was cozy and pretty nice. And if Maggie said it was good, it was good.

A flash of the color she was looking for had Nova's focus on the candy again, carefully picking through the sticks until she could select the butterscotch lollipop. James liked both butterscotch and root beer, so it wasn't like he would be disappointed. Dropping her own candy into her lap for the time being, Nova tapped James's shoulder and handed him his candy. He shot her a curious look, but took it out of her hand, practically shredding the wrapper to get to the flavor. Nova smirked as she picked up her own and took the wrapper off, popping it into her mouth with a sigh. The bubble gum flavor burst along her tongue and her shoulders started to relax, leaving her relieved as the headache starting in the back of her skull eased a little.

"They're en route. I'll see what I can find on the vehicle and registration but it was probably stolen. I already have a tracking algorithm at work and FRIDAY is looking for any clues. Angel is searching the airwaves for chatter, you really freaked her out," Tony informed her, his business voice slipping a little to show the concern that he was desperately trying to hide.

"You know Evie hates when you call her that," Nova chastised, knowing that that was the reason he used the nickname so often. He liked to get under people's skin and Evie was no exception. Not that Nova really blamed him. When Evie got upset, it was kind of like a pissed off kitten hissing and spitting. Accept Evie knew how to wield throwing knives and had no qualms about stabbing people if she had no choice. Nova had already seen her try to stab Tony twice, once at the Dugan house where Mama stepped in to stop her and once at the mansion in Malibu. She'd gotten a hit in there and Nova was fairly certain that Tony still had a scar from that encounter. He totally deserved it.

"Then she should change her name," Tony informed Nova nonchalantly. Nova just shook her head. There was absolutely no arguing with him when he was in a mood like that.

"Listen, the plan is to spend the night at one of the safe houses and go dark. And the route is changing," Nova informed Tony, glancing at James. He was actually growling like a pissed off alley cat, dark eyes turned to flint. One spark was all he needed to ignite. "I'm keeping the information between us for now, but it might take another day if we're followed again. If something happens, I'll send you a message."

"You be careful out there, Nova Scotia. It's a dangerous world and I'm too old to train in another Dugan child. Can you imagine trying to teach Pippa how to build a robot? It would be like herding cats. Avery might be more interested but she'll only go along with it if the angel is involved and she's not talking to me right now because I restricted her access to my lab," Tony informed Nova, who snorted. Restricting Evie's access was like signing your own death warrant. Of course, Tony knew that. He was planning something and Nova didn't want to know what.

"It's cool, Iron Maiden. I have the best travel buddy a girl could ask for. He won't let anything happen to me because he's too fucking scared of Evie," Nova laughed aloud when James shot her a raised eyebrow, looking oddly stuck between laughing with her or being offended. In the end, he went back to his hissed conversation with Steve, which seemed to be getting more and more intense as time went on. She wondered if she would need to step in and break it up but figured it was about damn time that Steve learned to back off. James was a grown ass man. Part of that was making his own decisions, no matter how terribly thought out they turned out to be.

"Everyone is afraid of that little pixie, as they should be. She's terrifying. And brutal," Tony complained. Nova could just imagine his full body shudder at the thought of Evie going after him again. Evie looked like an angel, but she had a bit of devil in her. It had just gotten a little bit quelled since she was held captive by HYDRA. It was Nova's life mission to bring that devilish intent back.

"Yeah, well, not as brutal as her boy toy. Jamie is still fighting with his boyfriend. What the hell are they even arguing about? This is a good plan. It takes everything into account and it's not like we'll be tracked. Evie came up with it, he should trust her if not us. Evie would never let anything happen to us, you know that as well as I do. If she thought I wasn't safe, she'd come drag my ass into a quin jet herself. Also, we can always make contact if we need help. It's not like we're dropping off the face of the Earth. There are still ways to get a message across, no matter what happens," Nova complained just loud enough for James to hear. Twirling the lollipop with her tongue, Nova mourned that it was almost gone.

"If Steve is my boyfriend, is Stark your girlfriend?" James demanded, surprising a loud laugh out of Nova. The smirk on his lips was definitely smug as soon as she started laughing, the cocky raise of the eyebrow definitely reminiscent of Bucky's attitude. Nova knew that that humor was hidden in the depths of him and her other goal in life, besides bringing Evie's devilish side back to the forefront, was making sure that James reclaimed the parts of himself that he missed. One part being his amazing sense of humor.

"What?" Tony whined. Nova ignored him.

"Definitely, that's definitely what it means. Tony is my girlfriend and Evie's my wife and Steve is totally your boyfriend," Nova nodded along with her words, bouncing in excitement. Making fun of Steve and Tony? Yes, please.

"I'm your what?" Tony shrieked, the noise loud enough to cause Nova to flinch, almost driving them off the road. Instead of using her phone, Nova had just used the comms unit that Tony had given her. Of course, that meant that every noise Tony made was twenty times louder in her ear and she wasn't allowed to hang up when she got annoyed. There were downsides to having her hands free, though the hands-free method allowed her to keep them on the road instead of sending them into the snowy trees that rose on either side of the street.

"Never mind, Tony. I'm going dark. Let Evie know we're okay. We'll talk about what happened when we get to the Dugan house," Nova promised, eyes meeting James's. He nodded slightly, as if agreeing with her logic. "Oh, and tell Steve to back the fuck off."

"Will do, my favorite Dugan. Be safe," Tony ordered, the rustle of paper cluing her into the fact that she was already losing his attention, even though they were still technically talking. Tony's attention span was all or nothing. Either she held his entire focus and he wouldn't look at anything else or he would be too distracted to even talk in full sentences. Nova had learned to back away slowly when he got into the latter mood.

"You too."

The silence that consumed the comms unit after that was eerie and Nova wrinkled her nose a bit, wishing that it wasn't so quiet. But she didn't really want to turn on the radio and interrupt James's conversation with Steve, which was once again getting heated by the sound of things.

"Just listen to-" James started, cutting off with an angry growl. Nova wrinkled her nose, contemplating just taking the phone out of his hand and telling Steve to back off. Hanging up on Steve was probably against some law in America, but she would risk it if it would get the scowl off of James's lips. "Look, you don't-"

The conversation came to an abrupt halt when James suddenly ripped the phone away from his ear and clenched it in his prosthetic, the crunch of breaking glass causing Nova to slam the brakes as she realized what the hell he had just done. The car jerked to a halt, James flying forward before he realized what she'd been doing. His seatbelt caught and he threw out his human hand to catch himself against the dash, the annoyed look he shot her completely ignored. She didn't even get to comment before he was throwing the broken shell of his phone into the backseat, scowling heavily.

"What the fuck?" Nova squeaked, spinning to get a good look at the damage his phone sustained. Technically, the Stark Phones were supposed to be impossible to break, but that didn't mean anything. Steve once dropped his patriotic Frisbee on his phone and broke the screen. That ended in another round of experimentation to make the Stark Phone super soldier proof. Thor had accidently dropped his hammer on his once. Nova hadn't seen it happen, but she'd seen the shattered remains, which were practically ground to dust. That hammer was definitely deadly, no joke. Clint had stabbed an arrow through his when it was in his gym bag. No one had commented on that one as they'd gotten back to the drawing board.

Either way, the phones were supposed to be Avenger-proof but the Avengers proved time and time again that they were more creative than even Tony and Nova put together when it came to breaking phones. Honestly, who would imagine that Natasha would end up using hers as a conductor for her widow bites when she got into a tight spot?

"What?" James bit out, arms crossed defensively and expression dark as he noticed Nova's horror. It was not-James peeking through and, were she less of a little shit, Nova would have heeded that warning. Who was she kidding? She was definitely a little shit.

"You just fucking broke a three-thousand-dollar phone! We even upgraded the screen so that you wouldn't be able to break it with your bionic prosthetic and you just crushed it like a soda can. Do you even know how long I worked on that phone? How long it took us to make sure that Steve couldn't break it with his Frisbee of death?" Nova demanded, pointed dramatically at the scattered remains of a perfectly good Stark Phone. James blinked, seeming at a loss for words, which was fine with Nova. She wasn't done. "I mean, come on! It could legitimately survive a bomb. Just place a bomb on it, blow it up, and it will survive. How did you manage to break it? This puts me back at least three months in the lab. I now have to find another way to make your phone super soldier proof because apparently you have mysterious powers Steve doesn't that allow you to just snap phones in half without a care. At least Steve was apologetic when he broke his."

"You made my phone?" James interrupted, stuck on the least important thing she'd said. Of course, he was.

"I helped. I'm usually assigned some of the higher level projects with Tony so that they get done. I don't usually work on the public versions of the phones, but I do work on the Avengers and SHIELD versions. We were sure we had it this time. Thor could even use it without shattering the screen in excitement, which is where the bar was set because it wasn't fair to have to make a phone that could withstand a blow from his stupid hammer. That hammer breaks physics, so we figured that there would have to be some tech somewhere else in the universe that could make that happen. Also, we didn't really want to fuck with something that powerful," Nova explained quickly, still pouting and staring sadly at the mess that used to be his phone.

Before she could start up again, cool fingers brushed her jaw, pulling her gaze back up to James. His lips were on hers as soon as he could reach her, soft and pliant and with no sense of urgency. Nova melted into the kiss, her muscles relaxing as she pressed a little closer, sighing into the warmth that he was offering. He pulled back for a moment and Nova pouted at the loss. His lips pressed against hers in a series of short, sweet kisses that he peppered on her lips, a smile blooming along her lips as he did so.

"I'm sorry I broke the phone you made me," James apologized between kisses, pulling back to look at her face after a moment.

"Do I keep getting kisses if I accept this apology?" Nova teased, smirking at him. James's lips twisted into a smile though he was obviously attempting to stifle the urge. Wrinkling her nose, Nova pursed her lips.

"What?"

"We need to work on your smiles," Nova hummed thoughtfully, shifting into gear. She could feel James's eyes on her as she turned her attention to the road, starting to travel again. Reaching out blindly, Nova pulled another pair of lollipops out of the console, careful to make sure she got one that James would like. Silently, she handed it off to him. It was in his mouth in less than a second, the other stick having disappeared.

The safe house was coming up and it probably wasn't safe to have spent so much time sitting stagnant in the middle of the road. That was definitely something that could get noticed by the wrong people if they weren't careful. No more stupid mistakes. She needed to focus if she wanted to catch whoever was trying to find the Dugan house.

"Work on my smiles?" James repeated dubiously, prompting her to explain.

"Yeah. For some reason, it seems like you try not to smile, which is stupid. If it's some insecurity, don't be ridiculous. You're hot. Own it. If it's habit, let's break it because I bet you have a great smile. If it's psychological… I really need to find someone who knows a bit about psychology," Nova clicked her tongue thoughtfully. The Dugan family didn't actually have anyone who was a therapist or psychologist, which was odd. Usually if Nova needed a professional of any kind, she could find one in the Dugan family and the Legacies. Maybe one of the kids would become a psychologist so that they could have something new.

"I don't need a shrink," James growled, scowling firmly at the thought that she might make him talk to someone who would be able to help him. Nova rolled her eyes, slowing to turn onto an almost invisible dirt road that would take her to the safe house she was looking for. The snow that had fallen the night before obscured any possible tracks and made the road another part of the landscape. If a bit more snow fell, it would obscure James and Nova's trail and keep them hidden from anyone who would try to find them. Of course, that also meant that the snow had the capability to block them in.

They were currently in Vermont at one of the Dernier safe houses.

As sad as it was, the Dernier family had only one living member left. They were still allowed to use the Dernier resources in any way they could possibly need, but Colette Dernier rarely made her way to the Dugan house preferring to spend most of her time in France. She still allowed them all to use the various safe houses and bunkers that the Dernier family built. Nova wished that they could see Colette more, but her activities bordered on illegal most of the time. While Nova's family dabbled in things that were definitely questionable, Colette blew that line between good and evil to hell and sauntered across the rubble.

"Psychologists aren't shrinks. They don't shrink anything. They just help you come to terms with what's going on in your life. I had to go see one after Grandma Angie died because I wouldn't come out of my room. I had my lab all set up and I kept blowing up my dolls. They can't fix the pain, but having someone understand is always nice, don't you think? Besides that," Nova kept going, ignoring James's heavy sigh, "psychologists will be able to give you specialized treatment plans based on your symptoms with not-James and Bucky. They're trained in that sort of thing, so they know a lot more about it than Steve and I."

"I'm not crazy," James muttered angrily, his arms crossing defensively over his chest.

"Of course not! I would never say you're crazy. Well, except when you go to the gym for fun, but that's different. Other people suffer things like this too. There was a girl in my middle school who had multiple personalities too. Each one was different and they had their own names and behaviors. She had coping mechanisms that were recommended for her by a psychologist to help her remember certain things and keep herself and others safe," Nova explained, grimacing when they hit a rather large bump and the chassis scraped the ground. "We should also start educating you about social movements in the last hundred years or so. I know that psychologists and people with mental illness had bad reputations in the thirties and forties, but nowadays we try to make sure that all adults, no matter mental illness, can function in society and live happy lives."

"If they realize how crazy I am, they'll send me to a psych ward," James snarled, his lips curled in disgust. Nova wished she could reach for him but she focused on navigating the car out of the narrow roadway and over the ice that was trying to crystalize along the small open area before the safe house. It wasn't large but it wasn't tiny either, one floor with a few rooms. The place looked just like a winter wonderland with the white snow glistening under the beams of the headlights.

"No one is going to send you anywhere. And mental institutions are much safer now than they were when you were young," Nova deftly argued, sneaking closer to the garage. It was a two-car garage and she knew that there was a car inside that she would be able to take. She would just have to leave the one she'd taken from the Tower for the next person. Not that they were going to be able to get far with a car riddled with bullet holes. When this was over and they were safe again, Nova was going to have to come back and make sure there was a working car for the next person.

"If you say so. This is where we'll be staying?" James asked, eyes firmly focused on the cabin.

"Yes. It's a Dernier safe house. I'm not sure when it was used last, but it'll do perfectly for our purposes. I'm sure it'll be freezing inside and we'll need to make sure that the power supply is working and that the pipes aren't frozen, but it's a cute little place, don't you think? Colette has the best taste," Nova hummed, slowing to a stop as she eyed the door to the garage. She couldn't just drive in, no, she had to get out and open the door.

"Let me go first. I'll check the house while you park," James demanded, door already pushed open.

Who was she to argue with chivalry?


	46. Not-James

**I'm sorry! I need to start posting on time, really. I've been doing Camp Nano and it's kicking my ass. Plus it was my mom's 50** **th** **birthday, so there was a party I had to be at this weekend. Excuses, excuses, I know. Thanks for all the lovely reviews! You guys are seriously amazing and make the work so worth it. If anyone has any questions, comments, concerns, let me know! I will try to get my ass in gear on these postings!**

"Are we all clear?" Nova asked, head peeking into the cabin. James turned to see her, gun in hand as he considered the area. It was a good area. The cabin was set in the middle of a clearing just far enough from the trees to give him a good view of the foliage. If someone tried to sneak up on them, he would be able to defend the area without having to rely on Nova. The bedroom was in a loft and the windows were placed strategically so that James could defend everything at once. Only an experienced sniper would be able to shoot through the windows, which were small and barely big enough to get Nova through. If something happened, James could get her out through one of those windows. He would need to fight his way out but that was something he was more than capable of doing. What mattered was Nova's safety.

"It's clean," James nodded, motioning her in. She had their bags and he slipped his gun into the holster in the small of his back to take them from her. She handed him his and was moving before he could take hers as well. The part of him that had been raised a gentleman demanded he take her bag and carry it for her. Not because she wasn't capable, but because it was the right, polite thing to do. He didn't have a chance to offer.

Nova was already hobbling up the stairs at an accelerated rate, her own bag thumping against the back of her knees. James started up after her, eyeing the bedroom curiously. It was an open floor plan with the bed in the middle of the room, set up so that they would be able to vacate at any angle. The rest of the room was fairly empty. There was a closet in the corner where they could store their gear. The bathroom was downstairs and there weren't any other rooms in the loft area. It was a perfectly open floor plan and James approved.

"What do you think?" Nova asked cheerily, climbing onto the bed to lay down. James raised an eyebrow as she attempted to wiggle into a better position, a wince giving away the pain of her injury. He wanted to take a moment to enjoy the fact that she was sprawled across a bed they were supposed to share. This moment should have been burning itself into his memories. But she was injured and he wasn't about to take advantage of a situation when Nova needed medical attention.

"It's easy to defend," James informed her, stalking just a little bit closer. Blood was seeping through her shirt and she kept her arms resolutely at her sides in an attempt to hide the large stain and pretend she wasn't in any pain. It was a bold-faced lie, but she was doing her best to keep him from worrying. It wouldn't have mattered if he worried. Worrying about Nova was a privilege.

"That's good. I doubt that Maggie would have sent us here if it was hard to defend. She had enough trouble when Evie was taken, she wouldn't endanger me," Nova snorted, letting her eyes fall closed as she attempted to relax. James reached down to pull out the first aid kit that he'd brought with him, knowing it would have the tools necessary to help her. Steve was the one who had given it to him and Stark kept it stocked. There was no reason he couldn't manage to give her a few stitches. He'd done it before on himself. He'd helped Steve before. Nova was no different. She needed him to be the steady hand and he could do that, no matter how much it hurt him. "You should try the bed; it's super comfortable. I think that this is a memory foam mattress. I mean, my apartment bed is made by Tony so it's better suited to my taste, but this is damn comfortable. Maybe I'll get one at the Dugan house. Tony wanted to update the Dugan house at one point but Mama wouldn't let him."

"Don't move," James murmured, reaching out for her side. Nova flinched back before he even managed to touch her, popping upright with a telling wince as her eyes flicked open.

"What are you doing?" Nova demanded, no longer distracted.

"I'm going to clean out the rest of your wound. There's still glass lodged inside. If you don't let me clean it out, you'll get an infection," James informed her distractedly, grabbing her behind her knees and dragging her closer in a move she couldn't fight even if she wanted to. Nova squeaked in surprise, but it wasn't enough to end her protests. Of course it was, he wouldn't like her so much.

"You don't have to clean it out again, it's fine. I've been hurt before, this is nothing. I'm sure that the glass is all gone. Besides, don't you want to check out the bed with me?" she pouted, lower lip sticking out. James simply grabbed her shirt and pulled it up to allow him to see the damage. It wasn't pretty.

"The glass is still lodged in your side. You're not talking your way out of this," he informed her, fighting back a wave of rage that could easily over take him if he let it. He couldn't let himself lose control now. He knew he was the one best qualified to help Nova and that was more important than his own feelings. Right now, she needed him and he wasn't going to let her down.

Pouring some hand sanitizer over his right hand, James got ready to work. It was going to be unpleasant, that wasn't a question. It would hurt to take the smaller pieces of glass out, but it had to be done. If she got an infection, it could kill her. Reaching into the recesses of his mind, James called up his training, letting the comforting numbness slide over him as he grabbed a pair of tweezers and reached for Nova. Even through the emptiness, he remembered to keep his hold on her gentle, still unwilling to hurt her in any way that wasn't absolutely necessary.

"I hope you know…" Nova started, sucking in a surprised breath when James simply reached out and plucked the largest remaining piece of glass out of her side. He quickly grabbed gauze and pressed it over the wound, gritting his teeth when Nova grabbed his arm and squeezed, her other hand pressed against her stomach as if to keep herself upright.

He had pulled the largest one out while they were in the car but there were still a lot of smaller pieces lodged in her skin. Apparently, the pain was finally starting to hit her as she clenched her jaw tightly, swallowing compulsively. The blood was still seeping out of her wounds, staining his fingers. He forced himself to focus on Nova, ensuring that she was going to be okay before he could worry about himself.

Her silence was more disconcerting than anything and James glanced up to see that her freckles stood out against her pale skin, the color having drained out of her face. Her dark eyes were unfocused and he felt his own emotions shoving against the imaginary shield he'd made against them. Panic was starting to seep through his emotionless state, adrenaline pouring through his blood stream as he considered the possibility that a wound like this could have killed her if it was in the right spot.

"Nova? Nova, what were you saying? You hope I know what?" James pressed, voice low and urgent. His metal fingers were pressed against her wound to staunch the flow of blood that had opened as soon as he removed the glass. It had coagulated around the glass before he'd removed it and now that wound was opened again and bleeding profusely. The dark stain on the white gauze grew as Nova's head tilted so she could look down at him, her blank expression striking him hard in the chest.

Was this how Nova felt when Bucky or the Asset came out? It was disconcerting to see her completely blank expression as she looked at him, the most terrifying part being the lack of recognition. Her eyes weren't lighting up as she stared at him. Instead, she looked at him like this was the first time they'd met and she was someone else, someone who didn't talk constantly and wasn't immediately friendly with whoever she met. Terror had him reaching for her before he could think it through, his human hand cupping her jaw as he pressed his lips lightly against hers. The metallic taste of blood slid into his mouth as she started to respond, lips parting to allow his entrance. It only took a moment for him to find the source of the blood in her mouth, sliding his tongue along the spot where she bit into her lip moments before.

Her tongue brushed his and James took the opportunity to explore her mouth again, the sweet taste of cotton candy sliding along his taste buds. One of her hands came up to bury itself in his hair and his eyes slipped shut, mouth moving gently against Nova's. She knew him, he could feel it as she automatically tilted her head to accommodate his movements, hand gently cupping the back of his head. If he pulled away, she would let him, just like always.

For someone who claimed they shouldn't kiss, she never stopped him. All it would take was hesitation or a no and he would back off. It might kill him, but he wasn't about to force Nova into anything.

James felt her shift and then she was pulling back, his eyes flashing open as Nova winced, her free hand dropping to pressed against the back of his metal prosthetic. The warmth reminded him of what he was supposed to be doing and he carefully pulled the hand away to see that the wound was still bleeding. There could still be glass in the wound and he needed to make sure he got it all out.

Kissing Nova always distracted him from what he was supposed to be doing.

Shoving any emotions deep into the recesses of his mind, James pulled out of Nova's gentle hold and ducked to get a better look at her wound to see what he could do. He hadn't had a good enough chance to look it over in the car and now he could see it was worse than he'd originally assumed. This wouldn't be fixed with a simple bandage.

"I hope you know I hate when you look at me like that," Nova sighed, her hand sliding down from his hair to his shoulder, where she left it rested. "Sometimes, when you do things, you look at me like… like I don't matter in the least. I realize that it's probably a defense mechanism or something, but it freaks me out."

James glanced up at her at this, blinking in surprise. How could she ever think she didn't mean something? How could she ever thing that she didn't matter? He was fairly certain that the universe would cease to exist without her. She was the definition of chaos and wasn't that the definition of the universe?

"And that hurts like a bitch," Nova squeaked in a high, breathy voice as James plucked a smaller piece of glass out of her side, contemplating what she'd told him.

James never wanted Nova to think that he didn't see her. No matter what she was doing, where she was, who he was, he was always looking for her. Even the sides of him he didn't control wanted her with a desperation that he could understand. Bucky liked her, flirted with her constantly, and James was one hundred percent certain that Bucky would bed her if given half a chance. The Asset took Nova into his protection. He chose her happiness and her pleasure over everything else, even himself. While shopping, the Asset would have never questioned having sex with Nova in a dressing room if that was what she wanted. But it wasn't as simple as a directive he'd given himself. James could feel the intense want that rose whenever any part of him thought of having Nova in such a way. It was a burning desire that he had no choice but to turn off in moments like this.

Carefully, James plucked another bit of glass out of Nova's side, muscles tensing as she flinched. Her fingers dug into his shoulder and he had to stifle the emotions that rose with that reaction. If he felt, if he allowed himself to feel his own emotions, he wouldn't be able to help her. Hurting Nova was never something any part of him wanted to do. So he turned it off and mechanically followed the path he knew he should. It was the only way he could continue to help her.

"That's all, right? I mean, there can't be that much glass. Most of it hit the floor and the seats, not me. So, we're almost done?" Nova squeaked as he pulled another piece of glass out of her pale flesh. Dropping the glass in a small container, James grabbed a handful of gauze and pressed it against the open wounds on Nova's side. The blood was a dark crimson that stained the plates of his metal arm in a way he never wanted to see again. Nova's blood shouldn't have stained his skin or the metal that was a part of him.

Looking down at the metal and the blood that stained his fingers, James felt himself losing control. Panic welled in his chest, heart stuttering as he lost the small ounce of control he had on his emotions. As they hit him, he lost his grip on his body as well.

The Asset stared at the blood on his metal arm, blinking in surprise before looking up to see who it was that had crossed him.

His entire being flinched at the sight of Nova sitting before him, bleeding out of multiple wounds on her side. Pale faced and obviously in pain, Nova had her eyes closed and a hand on his shoulder, as if she was asking him to help her. Gritting his teeth against another flood of emotions, prominently guilt, the Asset took a look at the wound, moving the gauze he'd been pressing against it.

There was a large wound in the middle, a painful looking slit in the skin. Around it was various wounds of the same origin. A glance around showed that the wound had been made with glass. Small glass pieces that were embedded in her skin.

Mechanically, the Asset started pulling small bits of glass out of her side, gritting his teeth at the sight of blood as it slid over her pale, perfect skin, obscuring the smattering of freckles that trailed along her body.

How had he let this happen? Nova was his mission. It was the Asset's job to make sure that Nova was safe. He had failed his mission once again. She was injured and bleeding. This was his failure and he had to make it right. After he took care of her wounds, he needed to find whoever had done this to her. Was it him? He didn't know. There were no memories of any accident. How had he even gotten to her? When was the last time he'd seen her? Why wasn't he protecting her like he was meant to?

"You okay? You're being really quiet. I really wish you'd talk to me. This hurts like a bitch and I need someone to tell me that I'm fine. Tell me I'm fine," Nova started talking and the Asset relaxed slightly. She was conscious and talking, that was a good sign. He hadn't failed this mission yet. There was still time to recover. If she wanted him to talk, he could talk to her. It was part of her pleasure and he was meant to give her pleasure.

"You're going to be alright. The wound is deep but missed any arteries or important organs," the Asset explained, satisfied when she relaxed slightly. The nails digging into his shoulder released a little though she never let him go fully.

"James?" Nova questioned, eyes opening slowly. The Asset cocked his head curiously, eyeing the first aid kit. Whoever had stocked it knew what they were doing. He was surprised that they'd managed to get everything he would need to do a full set of stitches. He needed to make sure that the bigger wound was taken care of. Then he could work on bandaging the smaller ones. Once that was done, they needed to move. Whoever had hurt her would probably be back. She was still alive and that could only mean that someone was still after her.

"You need stiches," the Asset informed her in a low voice, ignoring the question in her voice. He wasn't James. He wasn't anyone. He wasn't a person. He was the Asset. A weapon.

"Not-James. I didn't notice the change, sorry," the regret in her voice pulled his attention to her face and he saw that she was frowning tightly, concern lacing the confusion on her face. The Asset stiffened when the urge to touch her stuttered through him. His hand clenched into a fist as he tried to come up with an explanation for such a feeling.

"It's fine," the Asset soothed, pressing a bandage against Nova's wound once more. All that mattered was the wound. Once he figured that out, he could worry about everything else.


	47. Pain and Pleasure

**Finals are coming, my friends. The good news? I won Camp Nanowrimo! Bad news? I now need to hit the books so that I can pass my finals. Anyone in the same boat, good luck! I hope you all love the chapter and leave reviews to let me know what you think! Thanks for all the love and support, I promise I'm not giving up on this story, my beta and I have just been super busy. Please bear with us!**

Nova grit her teeth against the pain, forehead pressed into Not-James's shoulder as she tried to keep her cries in. He had done just as he'd warned her, stitching the wound on her side closed with steady fingers. She'd never had to get stitches without an anesthetic before and it was a bitch. Her entire body was shaking, shivering as it fought off the pain that had been inflicted on her. Sweat beaded along her brow, her fingers digging into not-James's shirt as she attempted to keep her shit together. If she let him know how much it hurt, he'd never forgive himself.

He was just finishing up with the stitches and she swallowed compulsively to keep down the bile stinging her throat. All she had to do was keep it together for a while longer. Not-James was more protective than James was in most cases. James generally let her do what she wanted, following behind while keeping an eye out for danger. Not-James was an entire different species altogether. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, but he would blame himself for her pain, no matter if it was his fault or not. She knew it wasn't his fault. He was doing what he could to help her, just like always.

"Almost done," he murmured in a low voice, a tug near the wound causing her to bite into her lip viciously. The pain stuttered up her side and she sucked in a breath that was almost a sob, wishing that this was more like the movies. When someone did their own stitches in the movies, they were always stoic, as if the pain wasn't even there.

This wasn't a movie.

"You're done." His voice was low and soothing as he pressed something soft against her side. She didn't move an inch, still breathing deeply and attempting not to faint. Not that she didn't love hovering mother hen not-James. She really did have a thing for dangerous guys with a ridiculously soft side. But the pain was clouding her thoughts and she just needed him to be strong for her for a few more minutes. If she could lean on him just for a bit longer, she could get up on her own.

A hand smoothed down her back and Nova winced when her body jolted, not having expected the contact. Sure, she'd made out with not-James before. But he wasn't one that tried to soothe her with physical contact. At least, he hadn't really been. He was okay with her running up to him and basically using him as a human shield, but he didn't usually casually initiate touch. Honestly, she was a little surprised. This seemed like something they would have trained out of him at some point or another, but he just kept slowly rubbing her back as she held in the tears she could feel trying to fall.

"That really fucking hurt," Nova bit out, her voice quiet and shaking. The man holding her jolted a little, as if he wasn't expecting her to speak. Maybe he thought she was crying. She wasn't.

"You need to take a shower before we bandage the wound. There's still glass in your hair," not-James warned her, pulling back so that he could see her face. Nova nodded slightly, accepting what he was saying. Pretending not to be hurt wasn't going to work on him, obviously. Before she could push herself into a sitting position, not-James was moving, reaching for her hand to pull her up.

She accepted his help, noting that he'd been careful to take her right hand instead of her left. If he'd pulled her up by her right hand, the stiches would rip. Considering not-James had just put the stitches in her, she figured he'd noticed that too.

"You know this wasn't your fault, right?" Nova asked, pausing to give herself a moment to adjust to the pain of standing. The adrenaline had worn off and she could feel the biting pain in her side now. It throbbed with the beat of her heart and she wished that she could call Tony suddenly. Not because she wanted to go home or anything, but just to hear his voice. He was always there when she was seriously injured. He'd skipped a press conference and lost a major contract when she'd broken her arm in the fifth grade. Instead of staying where he was supposed to be, he'd hopped onto his private jet and flown from LA to Maine. He'd been frantic. Mama hadn't called him when she'd gotten injured after that, sure he would do something stupid if he found out. No matter how she tried to hide it from him, Tony always knew when she needed him.

"My mission is to protect you. I failed," he informed her succinctly, starting to herd her toward the bathroom. Nova pressed her eyes shut for a moment, wishing that not-James didn't take things to heart like that. It wasn't his fault in the least. It was her own damn fault, really. She should have gotten them out of there faster. That was her mission. If he had missions, so did she. Her mission was to get him to safety, no matter what. And she'd done that. But not before both of them had been hurt. James was scratched up from the glass, but his wounds weren't nearly as bad as her own.

"I'm fine. I promise. I just need like two entire bottles of Advil and a shower," Nova sighed, getting to the bathroom and stepping in. Not-James followed her as if that wasn't odd, watching as she sank onto the cover of the toilet seat. The day had been exhausting, though it was great to be out in the real world with James. Even if she got hurt, she didn't regret going out with him. She'd gotten to introduce him to the wonderful world of ICEEs and he'd held her hand while she drove. There wasn't anything better than that.

"There are pain killers in the first aid kit," not-James informed her, turning to leave. Nova caught his hand in hers, his metal hand, not wanting him to leave without understanding.

"Jamie, come on, look at me," Nova begged, tugging gently at his fingers. Not-James turned to her, eyes flickering between not-James's ice hard gaze and James's softer blue-grey. "It wasn't your fault. It was the bastards who were after us and we took them out. So you don't have to do this. It's okay to come out now."

She watched as James slowly returned to his body, not-James slumping out of his soldier posture. His features softened as he came down from the rage high he'd been on. He thought she didn't notice how much anger was still left from all the things that had been taken from him, but she could easily see it. He was much like Dr. Banner in that way. Always angry.

"He took care of you," were the first words out of James's mouth. Nova softened, sending him a gentle smile.

"I told you not-James would never hurt me. Why do you always doubt me? I know everything," Nova teased, relieved. She liked not-James just as much as she liked Bucky and James, but his feelings were a lot more fragile than the other two. James knew, intellectually at least, that none of this was his fault. Not-James didn't know that. He saw her injured and automatically assumed that he was the cause. He listened worse than James did to her reminders that he'd never hurt her.

"Sure you do. I'm going to get you Advil," James leaned down to press his lips into her forehead in a sweet kiss, brushing her hair back with warm eyes. Before he left, he turned the shower on, a quick flick of his wrist all the warning she needed to know that he knew she was in pain and didn't want to bend over. He knew how much it hurt and he was going to make it easy on her. If he coddled her like Steve did to Evie, though, they would have a problem. Talk about a mother hen, Steve was like the dictionary definition. His picture graced patriotism, morals, and mother hen.

Frowning, Nova decided to start getting ready for her shower. James would be back in minute with the medicine and she was hoping to already be in the shower by that point. Make it a little less awkward.

They still really needed to have a talk about what they were to each other. Besides casually making out and almost having sex in a changing stall, there had been no other indication that James thought of her in any way other than friendship. Nova knew he'd been a ladies' man in the forties, maybe he didn't know that he could be friends with her without sex. It was a common misconception that men and women couldn't be friends without wanting to sleep together. Nova had plenty of male friends she wouldn't sleep with to save her own life.

Clint, Tony, and Steve to name a few.

Of course, she wouldn't turn James down if that was what he wanted. The man had that something she was looking for. Too bad she really didn't have anything to offer him besides sarcastic comments and root beer dumdums.

Carefully, Nova unbuttoned her jeans, scowling at the crimson that stained the top. It was a terrible day to wear jeans, but she rarely wore anything other than overalls. When she was getting dressed, she'd thought that a change would be nice. Apparently, she should never wear jeans again. Pushing the denim down, she managed to step out of them as she braced herself on the counter with her right arm. Shoving her underwear down as well, Nova eyed her top. The sweater was ripped, bloody, and probably impossible to get off. The good news was that she hadn't bothered to throw on a tank top under it. The bad news was that she wasn't sure how to get the sweater off.

Reaching behind her back with her good hand, Nova flicked open the clip that held her bra together with practiced ease, managing to wiggle her right arm out of it. Carefully, she got it off her left arm, leaving her with just the sweater. It was long enough to cover her completely, but the large dark stain near her wound was completely grossing her out. The blood was tacky and sticking to her side, a frown tilting her lips. Before she could decide now to get the sweater off, the door to the bathroom pushed open and James was back. Well, shit.

"What are you doing?" he asked, immediately setting the water bottle and Advil on the counter so he could grab her. He didn't do anything, just took her upper arms into his hands and held her there, as if the contact helped him calm down. Nova let him, knowing that he would catch her if she fucking passed out from the pain. It hurt like a motherfucker, but, surprisingly, she had been through worse.

"Showering. You're the one who told me to. In fact, you insisted. I remember. And I know everything, therefore I'm right," Nova huffed, glancing down at the blood stain on her sweater. There was no saving the monstrosity, which was really just too bad. It was a great ugly sweater. It had a picture of Santa on it with the words 'Where my hos at' printed across the top. Mama hated it but Jas had laughed for about ten minutes the first time he'd seen it. Especially since Nova had taken the time to add a little flare, sewing on some fluffs of white stuffing as snow and ironing on some patches that looked like Christmas lights. It was all in the name of hilarity.

"I didn't mean hurt yourself in the process," he sighed, thumbs brushing along her arms as he leaned down to press his forehead into hers. His eyes slipped closed and he let out a sigh, his breath brushing across her cheeks, his body curving over hers. Nova felt her lips tilt into a soft smile, knowing that he was exhausted. It had been a long day and she wasn't the only one that had been injured, even if his injuries were minor.

Nova tilted her head up and caught his lips with hers. She peppered kisses on his lips, never staying in one place long enough for him to capture her. If he captured her, her plans would be null and void. That wouldn't work.

Her lips pressed into the corner of his mouth, teasing him because it was fun and she just really loved the scrape of his stubble against her skin. Apparently, James wasn't interested in teasing. His hand was suddenly tangling in her hair, tilting her head back and holding her still so that he could press his lips against hers, nibbling at her bottom lip with a little more force than necessary. She gasped when he gently pulled on her hair and he took complete advantage, tongue plunging into her mouth.

A twinge of pain ran up her side as she raised her left arm to grip a handful of his sweater, her other hand slipping up his chest to curl around the back of his neck, gently pulling him down so she didn't have to stretch to meet his lips. It hurt a little to stretch and then James was walking her backward. Vaguely she realized that this wasn't their best idea but couldn't quite remember why.

She remembered when James scooped her up in one smooth move, careful of her wounds. His prosthetic crossed the backs of her thighs and then warm water was hitting her, spitting across her face and forcing her to pull away and make a disgruntled noise.

"Warm water will relax your muscles," James started, capturing her lips with his again as soon as the words left his mouth. The bruising strength of his lips made the thoughts flutter from her brain and the hand that was resting against the back of his neck slid into his hair where she took a handful and tugged, a smirk lighting her lips when he pressed her against the wall of the shower, pressing closer so that she was forced to wrap her legs around his waist to accommodate his hulking form. It hurt a little to lift her left leg but she was immediately distracted and more than a little disgruntled when James pulled away from her lips. "And then it won't hurt as much to take your clothes off."

The last part was growled into her ear and Nova hummed in appreciation of the idea. Yes, the sweater needed to go. So did his clothes. Definitely.

He was still fully dressed and his jeans grated against the soft skin of her inner thighs, the soft sweater he was wearing barely protecting her from the feeling. It had her shifting a little, pleasure burning through the pain. Who knew jeans could be a kink?

"I think that's a great idea, let's take off my clothes. Let's take off all the clothes," Nova demanded, letting go of him to reach down and start tugging her sweater up. A wince of pain was enough to have James catching her hands and pulling them away from the hem. He wasn't aware she didn't have anything on underneath the sweater. Not yet. She definitely wanted to see his face when that surprise was discovered.

"Let me," he murmured, lips starting to suck bruising spots along her neck. Her hips twitched when he bit at her earlobe, mind blanking.

"Why are you still wearing clothes? We're in the shower having sexy time, this is not the place for clothes. Then again, I'm okay with the jeans staying on if you're into that sort of thing," Nova chattered, a breathy moan escaping her lips as James bit the divot right beneath her ear. "But I kind of have a metal arm kink and you're ruining my view."

James pulled back before she could say anything else, heat burning in his warm blue eyes as he simply reached over the back of his head with both hands and basically ripped his shirt off, the tear of fabric meeting her ears. She didn't get to see what sort of damage she'd done before he was reclaiming her lips, his hips pressed tightly against hers to keep her against the bathroom wall. His metal hand started dragging up her thigh, warm against her skin for the first time. His other hand gripped her ribs gently, thumb brushing up against the curve of her breast through the fabric of her sweater.

Nova tilted her head to allow better access, dragging her hand out of his hair and sliding it down his back to the scarring where his prosthetic attached to his body. Scratching her nails down his back as he finally palmed her breast, the creak of fingernails digging into metal accompanied the catch of skin under her fingers.

James's hips bucked at her movement, her head snapping back in a gasp of pleasure as lightning bolts of pleasure shot through her body. His jeans scraped against the bare skin between her legs and Nova definitely just developed another kink. Yes, that was hotter than almost anything she could imagine.

"Nova," James groaned, his metal fingers pressing into her thigh just this side of bruising. Her name falling from his lips sounded like a desperate prayer, deep and throaty and sending another spasm of pleasure through her body.

"Jamie…" Nova whined, rolling her hips against his. The hard length of his arousal begged to be released, pressing into her so close to the way she wanted him. God, did she want him. Everything in her begged her to finish this. Offer him whatever it was he wanted so long as he wouldn't stop. Anything. He could have it all. "Please…"

"You're hurt," James ran his hand up her thigh, over her hip, and his hips stuttered again. He'd noticed. He'd noticed she wasn't wearing anything under her sweater. "God, Nova, how do you expect me to stop?"

"Please, Jamie, please, I promise I'll be fine. Don't stop."

Nova was definitely not above begging. James's eyes met hers and she saw the exact moment he gave in. Something snapped and his hands left her body, gripping the hem of her sweater by her neck and giving on powerful tug, muscles bulging beautifully as he tore her shirt in half. The scars along his chest glistened under the warm water, his thickly muscled chest making her mouth water.

Her brain stuttered to a stop when he discovered her breasts, lips latching over one nipple while his fingers came up to pinch the other one. Nova let out a wordless whine, arching her back against the shower wall as her sweater fell down her arms and ended in a slopping mess on the floor. Her hands jumped to grab at him, fingers tangling in dark hair and tugging desperately. The nails of her other hands scraped a path down his chest, running over the ridges and divots of his abdomen.

His dark hair sloshed forward, completely wet now and sticking to her skin. Her own hair was starting to droop, heavy on her shoulders as the water seeped into her body. Her entire being started to relax, only to tense when James released her nipple with a wet pop, his head rising so he could meet her eyes. Nova's head was rested against the tiles of the shower wall, her eyes slit as she took in the absolutely sinful image of the dangerous man before her. His lips were bright red and wet from his previous activities and his eyes were alight with something she couldn't name. Definitely arousal, but something else, something that sent her stomach tumbling and her body reacting.

Yeah, she definitely wanted to do grownup things to him.


	48. RATED M

**ATTENTION LITERALLY EVERYONE: THIS IS RATED M FOR MATURE**

 **Now that that's out of the way, I apologize for the late update. Finals and all. So, this chapter is rated M and you can skip it if you must. I hope everyone who can read it loves it, though. Let me know what you think! Good luck to anyone taking their finals!**

James bit his bottom lip to keep a primal growl from rumbling out of his chest, forcing himself not to grip Nova too tightly as her hips rolled against his. His arousal was almost painful. How long had he wanted this? When had it gone from a simple fascination with a woman who was more danger prone than his best friend to wanting so deep it shook his soul?

He knew that if they did this, it would change things. For him, it wasn't a one night deal. He couldn't sleep with her and walk away. He wouldn't be able to convince himself to let her go, not without her express demand that he leave. Would he even survive something like that? If she asked him right now, could he walk out of the safe house and never look back?

A soft hum left her lips as he dipped down to press his lips into her neck, sucking at the mark he'd left on her skin two nights ago. His tongue slid along the smooth skin, her head tilting back to accommodate him. Her fingers tugged at his hair, the burning pain pulling a low growl from his chest. The fingernails of her other hand scratched at his chest as she tried to raise herself as high as she could without hurting herself to get leverage. Her back arched as she pressed against him harder, a small mewl leaving her lips as she hit him at just the right spot.

"Nova," James murmured, trailing his lips up the curve of her neck and nipping at her jaw. She had her eyes closed again, breathing heavily as he worked. The rise and fall of her chest was enchanting and his hands slid along her ribcage, tracing the bones he found there. Goose bumps pebbled along her skin at his touch, her eyes slowly opening as the dark chocolate color became visible, so dark with desire they were almost black. James felt his lips curl into a smile as he pulled away far enough to really look at her.

The freckles along her nose stood out in stark comparison to her pale skin, the circles under her eyes almost completely forgotten. Her pink lips were swollen from his ministrations and a dark bruise was visible on the curve of her neck where he'd left his mark before and now. Her red hair was stuck to the wall behind her, some strands dripping onto her shoulder and chest, trailing down to hard pale pink nipples. Her chest heaved as she sucked in damp air, ribs pressing against the exposed skin of her chest. His fingers brushed along the bony outcrop of her ribs, tracing the movement as he looked back up at her eyes, which were trained on him. Her tongue peeked out as she licked her lips lightly, the corner of her lips tilting when his eyes tracked the movement.

"You're being creepy. Stop staring and get back to work," Nova demanded, those swollen lips curling into a smile as she met his gaze firmly. He would gladly do whatever it was she wanted if she asked him to, but he still took another moment to take her in. Just a moment to be able to see her like this. She was beautiful in a way that no other woman was or ever had been. Something about her called to him on a primal level and he couldn't get away from it. Every part of him wanted her in any way he could get her and he wanted the chance to tell her. How much she meant to him, how much he wanted her to stay by his side, he wanted to tell her all of it.

The time he was waiting for wasn't now. No matter how much he wanted it to be, he couldn't tell her when she was so open and willing in front of him. He couldn't tell her when he knew she would automatically think he was only telling her so she would have sex with him. Because that wasn't what he wanted at all. Oh, god, he wanted to touch her, but he didn't want to use her emotions like that. If she was going to have sex with him, it was going to be completely free of obligation. He could tell her how he felt about her later. Even if it did kill him a little to wait.

"Or, I mean, if you're done now, I could go for some hot chocolate," Nova teased, started to unwrap her legs from around his hips. James caught her immediately with both hands, lifting her higher against the slippery tiles and pressing her back with his body. She laughed as he bit at her collarbone, squeezing her thighs gently. "I take that to mean you aren't done then?"

"Never done," James hummed, lifting his head to meet her gaze.

God, he wanted her. In any way she'd let him have her.

"You sure about that? Because I'm pretty sure most men get tired of me after a while. It might be the talking," Nova informed him, voice low and slightly husky as his dragged his teeth up her neck and bit gently at her jaw. The thought of anyone else with her sent a burning rage through his blood and James claimed her mouth in a bruising kiss, their teeth clashing together firmly as he plundered. No one else would be on her mind while he took her. All she needed in her mind was him and the things he made her feel. He would make sure she knew she was beautiful, that she was wanted. There would be no one else in the world that would ever make her think she wasn't wanted when he was done. He would make sure she remembered him forever, even if they weren't together. She would always remember that he had wanted her, that he'd wanted her in this moment. This moment would stick in her mind until the next time. Until she remembered that she was amazing and no one could take that away from her.

"You talk during sex too, sweetheart?" James growled as he pulled away just enough that his lips brushed hers while he talked. There was nothing he wanted more than to hear her voice while they moved. Her voice had become something that he listened for in every empty room. It wasn't annoying to him and he couldn't believe that it had been at one point. How could he not want to know what was going through her mind? How could he ever want her to be quiet when her thoughts were so interesting?

"All the time, Jamie," Nova murmured, winking cheekily at him. Her head was tilted back against the wall like she couldn't be bothered to hold it up anymore, cheeks rosy from the heat of the water that was cascading down around them. Nova was relaxed in a way James had never witnessed before. Not awake, not asleep, not working, nothing else made her look so completely carefree and calm. There was something about her that buzzed with energy all the time and he liked that about her. He really did. But he also liked to see her completely relaxed, letting him do the heavy lifting for once.

Ignoring the water that was sloshing down around them, James picked her up, using his metal arm to support her back and cup the back of her neck as he took a few steps back. Nova squeaked in surprise, arms wrapping around his shoulders as she pressed herself against him in surprise.

"What are you doing? This isn't cool, man. What if you drop me?" Nova argued, skin slick against his. James ignored the sensation for the moment, stepping carefully out of the tub in an effort to keep them both upright and safe.

"I'm insulted you think I would drop you at a moment like this," James retorted, fighting a grin. He would never dream of dropping her. And, if he ever did, he would allow whoever it was that chose to avenge her come and kick his ass. Tony, her mother, Evangeline, whoever. He'd deserve whatever they handed him and he knew it.

"Well, I mean, you dropped yourself that one time and I don't really feel like repeating that experience, if you know what I mean," Nova blurted, the slight shake in her voice the only indication that she was actually worried. James wrapped his metal arm around her tighter, biting his lip to keep in a laugh. Only Nova would think it was appropriate to bring up his fall from a train while he was trying to get her into bed. "Oh, shit, that probably wasn't a good joke! I mean, I know you're pretty cool with the whole shitty humor thing, especially when I say something that accidently might be offensive, but I totally didn't mean to insinuate that you let yourself fall off that train because I totally know you didn't…"

James rolled his eyes as she started rambling, cutting her off completely by dropping her gently on the bed he'd managed to get them to without dropping her or himself. The air huffed from her lungs and James glanced at her wound to see that it was still firmly stitched shut. He should bandage that for her before this went any further.

"It's fine, Nova. I like that you aren't afraid of me," James murmured, starting to undo the buckle of his belt. Nova's eyes immediately fell to his fingers, intently watching his every move. James watched her watch him, a slow burn starting in his belly. The heat travelled down, down, down, every muscle in his body tightening in anticipation. How long had it been for him? Did it matter? All he wanted was Nova. None of the others mattered, they never had. The women he'd been with, the men, they were nothing compared to Nova. She was fearless and he was mesmerized.

"You were never going to hurt me," Nova informed him as if that was common knowledge. James almost reminded her that their best friends hadn't even believed that he could keep her alive for more than an hour or two. But it didn't seem like the time to bring something like that up.

Later.

"I'm never going to hurt you," James repeated like a mantra, like a promise. He promised he would never hurt her and he never wanted to. God, he didn't want to hurt her.

"Are you going to join me or have an existential crisis?" Nova demanded, pulling him back to the present. She was laid out before him, pert little breasts plump and pink nipples hard. Goose bumps were starting to appear along her skin as the droplets of water from the shower started to cool and James had never stripped out of his clothing so fast in his entire life.

Before he could calm himself, he was on top of her, metal fingers fisted in the comforter while his lips crashed onto Nova's, teeth clacking together as his tongue dove in, drinking Nova in. Her hands found his chest and skin scraped against bare skin, bodies moving in unison as he coaxed a hand under her back, arching her towards him. Hips rolling, James gasped when he brushed against her wet heat, gritting his teeth and pressing his eyes shut in an attempt to regain his control.

His stomach clenched and James felt his control melting against his hands, sliding through his fingers as his entire being begged for one moment, the connection he craved.

"Jamie," Nova's voice brought him back to the moment, eyes opening as he latched onto the calm, euphoric look in her warm brown eyes. He could drown in her eyes if she gave him half a chance and sat still long enough. Even now they flickered as she took in his face, as her hand rose to cup his jaw and scrape her fingernails along the stubble on his jaw. "It's okay. Take your time. I'm not going to judge you for anything. Remember how my lab is a safe space? This is a safe space too."

"I could hurt you," James reminded her, eyes flicking unconsciously to his metal fingers tearing at the sheet next to her head. Nova tilted her head back to look at his fist, exposing the line of her neck to his gaze. Before he could stop her, her lips were pressed against the metal of his arm, the wet warmth of her tongue registering oddly against the surface. Glancing up at him through her eyelashes, Nova finished with a wet pop of her lips against the metal.

"You won't hurt me. Besides," Nova arched up, wrapping an arm around his neck and dragging her lips to where they could brush against his ear with a wet heat while she talked. James's human arm automatically wrapped around her back to help hold her up, fingers tight against her skin, just under bruising. "I like it rough. My safe word is banana-ramma."

Her announcement choked a laugh out of his throat, which was suddenly tight with emotion. It was nothing on the surge of adrenaline that shot through him, his arousal getting uncomfortably hard at the thought that Nova would let him do anything. _Anything_. And she would like it.

"Do you know what you're saying?" James demanded, nudging her legs open with a knee as he laid her back out. She let go of him easily, arms falling back against the bed and giving him full control. Before she could even answer, James had both of her wrists in his metal fingers, held tightly against the bed. She gave an experimental tug and James loosened his hold, but her satisfied smirk was enough to have him slowly allowing his fingers to tighten again.

"I sure as hell am not saying the safe word, that's for sure," she teased. James growled, free hand palming her breast and squeezing to an almost painful level. The gasp she let out was positively filthy, her hips shifting against the bed and eyes rolling back slightly.

"You're going to regret this someday," James murmured, leaning down to bite violently at the mark on her neck. Nova's eyes flashed open as he pulled away, running his hand down her ribs and toward her hips. Her hips shifted restlessly, as if begging him to touch her. He would make her beg for it first. He wanted to hear her say it in a way that was violent and dangerous. But he would hear her say that she wanted him.

"Why do I doubt that? Besides, I'm the talkative one in this relationship, you're the action one. Why isn't there more action? I need more action. Seriously, I might… I might explode if I don't get it," Nova huffed, tugging gently against his hold. James held her still, not giving an inch. The smirk that ran over her lips reminded him of a spider on the hunt, it's prey right where it wanted it. This could be dangerous. But James hadn't considered if it would be dangerous to him yet. Either way, he was too far in to back out now. He would never back away from her.

"You want action?" James hummed, trailing his fingers down, over her hip, finger tips brushing against the soft hair that covered her core. He was close enough to feel her heat, his attention divided between what he was doing to her and what he desperately wanted to do. If she hadn't told him she liked a little pain, he would have backed off by now. There was no way to control what was about to happen. He could feel the Asset in his thoughts, demanding he start moving, pleasure her like the mission demanded. And then there was the part of him that was Bucky, that wanted to run his tongue along the most intimate parts of her.

James was planning on doing all of this and more.


	49. Nightmares and Cigarettes

**Hello, hello! Sorry for being so late, finals killed me and then I had to move home. My promise is that I will never abandon Nova and James! I must finish! Anyway, I hope everyone else is doing awesome, thanks for all the luck. I still lost my 4.0** **But I still have a really high GPA, so that will have to do. Let me know what you think of the fluff in this chapter! I will post again soon!**

Nova hummed as she rolled over, reaching out blindly toward the other side of the bed in search of warmth. An annoyed groan left her lips as her hand met cold sheets, eyes blinking open wearily as she tried to fight off the chill in the air. Stretching her hand further, her fingertips brushed something broad and warm, but far too upright for her liking. The scent of smoke woke her up enough to start shifting, blinking open her eyes a little as she tried to figure out what was going on.

"Jamie?" she mumbled, pushing up and ignoring the fact that the blankets slipped off her to pool around her waist as she swiped at her eyes and squinted toward where she knew James was sitting. His broad back was all she could see, his metal arm glinting in the light as it moved toward his mouth and back again.

"Go back to sleep," James ordered gently, voice rough as he turned toward her enough that he could see her but she couldn't get a good look at his face. The soft glow of light in his metal fingers was enough to have Nova forcing herself awake. Shifting, Nova glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was a little after three in the morning. Way too damn early to be awake, but it looked like James had been up for a while. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the door, shoulder hunched and elbows rested on his knees. His long hair was down and probably in his face and Nova frowned, forcing her mind to work properly.

"You okay? Nightmare or something?" Nova pushed up to crawl closer, settling down a few inches away before slowly reaching out to touch him again. James's shoulders stiffened just lightly, but he didn't bother to shrug her off. Taking that as a sign that touching was okay, she slid her arms around his shoulders, pressing herself against his back and resting her head against the broad expanse. "We can talk about it, if you want. But I can also just sit with you for a while."

"Just sit with me," James murmured, reaching up to lace his fingers with hers. Nova hummed in the back of her throat, letting her eyes slip closed as she wondered what would make him feel better. It was hard to have nightmares, Nova knew that much at least. Her nightmares were nothing like his, she was sure. She had hurt people in the past but those people were far from innocent. In any case, James's nightmares were the kind that would make her never want to sleep again. She was amazed he still tried.

His hand moved again and Nova watched him lift a cigarette to his lips, breathing in the smoke as the tip burned bright in the darkness. For a moment, she was confused. Where the hell had he even gotten cigarettes without her noticing? Not only that, but why was he smoking indoors? Of course, he probably didn't know about the fifty thousand health code violations he was perpetrating. It didn't really matter, though. The room had smelled like stale cigarette smoke when they'd gotten there and it wasn't like smoking would culminate in lung cancer. The serum Steve and James had running through their blood ensured they wouldn't have to worry about something like cancer in their lifetime.

Dr. Cho was already working on making a cure with their DNA. So far, they hadn't succeeded, but she had the best minds in the country backing her.

"You know, when I used to have nightmares, Mama would tell me stories," Nova informed James, running her thumb along the back of his hand.

"Like what?" James asked, leaning against her. Thinking back, Nova tried to call up the memories of her mother, tucking her into bed after a nightmare. When she'd been young, it hadn't taken much. All her mama would do was sit with her, brush her hair away from her face, and hum a song or two before she was asleep again. As she got older, it got more complicated. Usually Evie was the one who kept her sane on the nights when nightmares started crowding her mind. But her mama was there too, when she was at home. Those nights were the best. Her mama would tell her stories of her childhood, of all the things she used to get into with her father. Sometimes she even went into tales about the other Legacies. Even less often, she would tell Nova stories about the Howling Commandos.

"Sometimes they were stories about her childhood and how Grandpa Dugan and Grandma Angie used to be. Other times she told me about all the crazy things she ended up doing with the other Legacies. But sometimes she told me stories about the Howling Commandos," Nova informed him, not wanting to lie and pretend she knew nothing about him. She would have known James Barnes's face anywhere. "Most of them were funny stories. Did you know that the Howling Commandos stayed together after you and Steve died?"

"We didn't really die, sweetheart," James reminded her, tightening his fingers on hers like he needed the reminder as well. He took another long drag of his cigarette, holding it in for a moment before slowly letting the smoke leak out from between his lips.

"No, no you didn't. But they thought you did. And Mama said that they mourned you both for a long time. They were your friends and they were heartbroken that you and Steve were gone. Grandpa Dugan kept some of your old war things. Most of it went on to your sisters, but some things weren't meant to go to civilians," Nova explained, pressing a warm kiss against his shoulder.

"What does he have?" James asked, slowly starting to turn toward her. He kept the cigarette carefully away from her and she noticed that he didn't take another drag while she was so close. Maybe he did know the effects of second hand smoke then.

"I know he has your old uniform. The uniform at the Smithsonian is a replica. Grandpa Dugan almost died when he found out that Steve stole a replica uniform to fight in. Grandpa has the entire set. All the other Legacy families sent their family uniforms to the Dugan house so they would be safe. I think we might have a few letters you and Steve wrote one another while you were apart. I read one of them, from Steve to you. Something about him being fine. It was a lie, of course, but you wouldn't have known that. It was while he was going through the super soldier experiment," Nova sighed, blinking wearily when a cool arm settled over her back and she was pulled around and into James's chest.

He had to have been sitting up for a while to get his arm to cool off. It had been warm all night, pressed between them too often to regain a cold shell. As it turned out, super soldier refractory period was insane. And super fun. When said super soldier wasn't having nightmares and brooding, of course. The cigarette butt was sitting on the bedside table on what looked like a soap dish, another mystery that Nova didn't have the answer to. At some point, she would need to ask James when he started smoking and why she hadn't known about it. Seriously, how could she miss something so obvious?

"I remember that letter. Punk lied to me, flat out," James huffed, a small bit of his Brooklyn accent sneaking through. Nova smirked, burying her face in his bare chest. Heat radiated off of him and she curled into it, not bothered when he pulled a blanket up and over her shoulders, shielding her body from the cool air in the room.

"I thought Steve was supposed to be an all-American good boy?" Nova teased, already knowing that that image was a carefully cultivated lie. Evie had already told her the dirty details of Captain Steve Rogers and she knew enough to know that Steve would lie in a heartbeat if he thought it would protect his friends. Nova couldn't really blame him, not when his best friend was a reformed Russian assassin. Not that Nova would ever in her life lie to Evangeline. Nope, Evie would have her head if she found out Nova had been lying to her.

"That's bullshit," James shook his head, long hair brushing against Nova's.

"Jamie said a bad word!" Nova shrieked, pushing off James's chest to stare at him in mock horror. He rarely swore in front of her, something that had been a little weird when Nova had already heard his best friend swear like a sailor when trying to find Evie. But James made sure to keep the swearing to a minimum around Nova, who didn't have a filter on her own mouth. "You swore, I'm telling Mama!"

"You swear all the time," James countered, trying to coax her back into his side. Nova crawled away, grabbing the blanket in both hands.

"I'm allowed. You don't ever swear! I need to call the media! CNN is going to have a field day. Tony's going to ground you! Pepper's going to put you in time out! Not to mention what your best friend will do!" Nova cried, throwing her hands up and ignoring the way that James's eyes immediately fell to what he could see of her thighs. "You're going to have to change your name, leave the country, and become a belly dancer in Mexico to get away from this."

"Why Mexico?" James demanded, raising a challenging eyebrow.

"Well, I mean, it's your choice where you want to go be a belly dancer at. I just think Mexico is pretty. You could go to Rome! Do they have belly dancers there? Do they have belly dancers in Mexico?" Nova trailed off, lost in thought. She'd been to Mexico, sure, but only on vacation. Unlike the rest of the family, she didn't go around visiting foreign countries as a spy needing to blend in. She stayed on the resorts and drank way too much tequila. To her, Mexico was magical, but she'd never actually seen a belly dancer there.

"If you go with me, I'll go to Mexico," James promised, reaching out and managing to snag her around the waist and pull her into his chest again. Nova huffed out an annoyed breath, letting him drag her closer so that he could rest against the headboard.

"Done deal. Do I get to be a belly dancer too?" Nova demanded, tilting her head up to look at James, who was staring into the darkness of the room, his eyes fastened to the wall across from them. There wasn't anything there, just an empty wall, but James seemed fine just staring at it, eyes never flickering.

"No," was his simple answer.

"Well that sucks," Nova complained, curling up against James and throwing a leg over his. James tightened his hold on her waist, pulling her closer as she curled into him. He was warm and his arm around her back was comforting. She knew she could fall asleep in seconds if he would let her, but it was obvious that he was having a hard time still and she wasn't going to sleep until she was sure he was all right. How many nights had she done the same thing with Evie?

Okay, maybe not the exact same thing. She and Evie had never had sex before and they didn't cuddle naked. They did cuddle, though. When she was still reeling from the PTSD and the attacks, Evie had informed Nova that physical contact sometimes helped her remember where she was and that she was safe. It had been Nova who had spent every night awake with her in the beginning. Nova slept when Evie did and woke up with the nightmares. Neither of them had gotten a good night's sleep in ages and Nova wouldn't have wanted to get one if Evie was still suffering.

It scared her a little to realize that the same sentiment applied to James.

"You know, when I was little, I wanted to be an agent," Nova blurted, flinching a little when James's attention snapped to her so fast she heard his neck crack.

"What?" he demanded, eyes dark and serious.

"I wanted to be an agent. Preferably a specialist, like Maggie was. All my siblings were specialists at one point in their careers. Maddox's are better at working alone. And I thought I was going to be just like them. Mama put me in all the same classes, tried to teach me languages and how to walk silently. No one understood why I couldn't sit through classes or why I just reverted back to English no matter what my instructors did," Nova sighed, relaxing against James again now that he was seriously invested in her story.

"When did you figure out that wasn't what you wanted to do?" he asked, lips pressing against the top of her head.

"I was five years old and wandered into Grandpa Dugan's lab. He wasn't there and I found a ray gun he was working on and starting playing with the parts. It was the first bomb I built and when it started to vibrate I threw it toward a wall and crawled under a desk to hide. It blew a hole in the wall and it took my family about two hours to find me," Nova smiled at the memory, though it had been terrifying when it happened. She'd cried for hours, thinking she'd done something terrible. Technically, she had done something terrible. No one was hurt, but that didn't mean accidently building a bomb was something she was praised for either.

"What did they do?"

"Well, Mama pulled me out from under the table, Dad made sure I wasn't injured, and Grandpa Dugan gave me a big hug and told me I was going to be his little helper from then on. From the moment I realized I wasn't in trouble, that was what I wanted to do. And as soon as Grandpa Dugan gave me a microwave to take apart, I knew I wanted to be an engineer. Tony and Grandpa Dugan financed my habit and I learned all I could about everything. Dad taught me when he had time, but he was usually working, so Grandpa Dugan and I spent all our time together," Nova explained, smile softening. Grandpa Dugan was someone she couldn't imagine life without.

"They just let you blow yourself up?" James asked, sounding skeptical and a bit horrified.

"No, they didn't let me blow myself up. If I blew myself up I wouldn't be here talking to you," Nova reminded him with a laugh. "There were rules when I was little. I wasn't allowed to play with the explosives and I was always wearing something to protect me. Usually a vest Tony made that was basically bullet proof but would also protect me from shrapnel. Then I had little glasses that were always on to protect my eyes. And I only built pre-approved projects," Nova listed, ticking items off with her fingers lazily.

"How long did the rules last?" James teased, reaching up to smooth her hair down. Nova nuzzled his palm, pressing a kiss in the center.

"About a year, actually. That was until Tony came to visit and then he blew the rules out of the water. I was hidden behind a blast shield for any major explosions, but he taught me how to work with explosives and continued to the rest of my life. He'll help me now too if I ask. And sometimes if I don't ask. Because he's sneaky like that." Nova rolled her eyes and tapped out a rhythm on James's chest, idly wondering what he thought of her and Tony's relationship.

Nova had had boyfriends who got jealous of her relationship with Tony. It was something that Nova didn't understand and also something she wouldn't compromise on. Men had asked her to stop seeing Tony and her answer had been telling them to fuck off. Tony was family. He meant more than a few dates. He was someone who loved her unconditionally and she loved him too. There wasn't anything about Tony that she didn't love. He was who she wanted to be when she grew up, even now. It had nothing to do with her other relationships, not that many people understood that.

Did James?

"You two are trouble." James shook his head, grabbing another blanket and pulling it up over them both. He shuffled down the headboard a little so that they weren't completely upright, pulling Nova into him tighter. Nova slid an arm around his abdomen, curving around him as they started to get comfortable together.

"I'm always trouble. You've inferred that multiple times, I don't know why you're still surprised," Nova reminded him, biting his chest gently. James didn't even flinch, instead pinching her ass with his metal fingers. "OW!"

"You shouldn't start a game you can't win," James warned, shrugging his large shoulders without any shame. Nova poked him in the side, pouting a little. All he had to do was pretend she was winning. "Go back to sleep. We have a few hours before we need to leave."

"You know, I'm the driver, I could leave without you," Nova complained, huffing out an annoyed breath.

"You could try," he shrugged, smoothing a hand down her back before wrapping it around her waist and shifting to get comfortable. His breathing evened out before Nova could answer and she shook her head lightly before curling up so that her ear was resting right over his heart, the powerful thump of every beat lulling her to sleep.


	50. The Mall

**So I'm posting two today because I feel really bad about the three week wait… Also because I love you guys! Your reviews give me life! Keep reading, I hope you enjoy! Once again, I promise I'm not going to give up on this story!**

"We can't stop again. If we stop before our next scheduled stop, Tony will quite literally kill me," Nova informed him with a low growl. James bit into his bottom lip to hold in a smirk, enjoying the annoyance Nova couldn't quite seem to hide. He knew they needed to get to the Dugan compound tonight. If they didn't, Steve was going to come after them and no one wanted that. But he also liked to see Nova outside the Tower. She was free in a way he'd only glimpsed when they went shopping. He wanted more of it. "Not to mention what Mama will do to you if we don't have a legit reason for being late."

"Your mother scares me more than Tony," James informed her honestly. Mags Maddox wasn't someone he wanted to fight. Well, maybe just to see how strong she was, but she had that same something his own ma'd had, something that made him want to duck for cover if he ever angered her.

"Damn straight. She should. Mama took out twenty armed guards at a high security prison once to get Maggie out of enemy hands. You don't want to mess with her," Nova announced proudly, sitting up a little straighter. James's eyes flickered to the rearview mirror and he frowned upon seeing that they were being followed again. The same car after two turns. He'd been monitoring the activity behind them the entire time they'd been driving. This was the first time a car had followed them since leaving the safe house. The bad news was that they weren't necessarily being sneaky about it.

There were only two options when someone didn't bother to be sneaky about their tail. One: They were amateurs. Amateurs weren't sent to take out the Winter Soldier. Two: They didn't plan to leave witnesses.

"We're still going to stop at the next shopping center," James informed Nova, hoping that the people in the other car weren't listening in on their conversation but unwilling to risk it. If he was careful, he could get Nova to agree without ever having to say what was going on. Her eyes flickered to him and James nodded just slightly toward the rearview mirror. His metal fingers fisted as he waited to see if she would get what he was saying. A moment later she looked in the rearview mirror and her smile slowly lowered into something more akin to a grimace.

"Fine, but I don't have to like it. We only have ten minutes. Ten minutes and we're back at the car. Besides, I have some Christmas gifts to get," Nova informed him, glancing over and winking cheekily while trying to pull back on her playful demeanor. James reached over and took her hand in his, his other hand falling to check his weapons. He had enough on him to keep them safe. All he had to do was slide a few more on. Stark would find their car and retrieve their belongings if need be. Otherwise he would lose a few weapons. As long as his bag was with him, he was fine.

"Ten minutes. I promise," James nodded slightly, sliding his hand down next to the seat to grab another knife. He waved it slightly near his thigh to show Nova, who patted her thigh as well. Her weapon, the one Natalia had given her, was still safely tucked away. He'd made sure that she'd put it on today to ensure that she wasn't unarmed if they were attacked again. The chances of them being attacked had been high and he wasn't willing to risk her life. Now he was grateful for that forethought.

"I'm going to drag you out of there by your hair if you don't," she teased, squeezing his hand. James returned the gesture, hoping to be as reassuring as possible. Nova didn't mind the danger or the racing through streets at high speeds. In fact, she was too reckless for James's peace of mind. But she was worried for her family and their safety, which was worse than worrying about herself in her eyes. James understood, but he wouldn't let anything happen to any of them. They were going to get to the Dugan household and he was going to go over the place inch by inch. No one was going to hurt Nova or anyone she loved while he was there. He would ensure it. "Besides, I'm not sure what you'll like at the next mall. There are a lot of clothing stores, probably a few food places… that's what you want, isn't it? Food. I should have known. You could eat a horse if I served it with the right seasonings."

James just rolled his eyes with a small smile, watching the signs they were passing. They were still hours away from where they were meant to be at this point. Nova had explained a little bit earlier without giving away any major details. She was rather good at beating around the bush. Then again, he wasn't sure that any surveillance would listen to her talk long enough to gain any helpful details.

"Here we are," Nova cheered, taking a right and pulling off the road they'd been on. James glanced up to see that the car following them took the exit as well, a few cars behind. He frowned when another car also took the exit, familiar in a way he didn't like. They'd passed them a while ago. Someone else following them or a coincidence? James didn't believe in coincidences.

"Park by the food court," James ordered, scowling when the words came out more of an order than a request. Nova shot him a raised eyebrow. He would have to apologize when they weren't being followed. When there wasn't a chance that someone was about to kill them or listening in on their every conversation.

"We do have a limited amount of money on this trip, you know," Nova reminded him as she pulled toward the food court sign, obviously trying to distract him and herself from the danger that could be around the corner. If they were attacked, he'd need to get Nova out of danger. He could fight HYDRA men off if he had to but it would be easier if Nova was clear. If she wasn't, he'd be too worried about her to think properly. If anyone touched her, he would kill them. There was no other option.

"I have money," James shot back, straightening as Nova smoothly pulled into a parking spot. James started to move to get out of the car, noting that one of the cars was circling the lot and the other was pulling into a spot a few rows over.

"Hold on, I have to grab my purse," Nova waved at James, who turned to look at her dubiously over his shoulder. A purse? James had never seen Nova carry a purse. Not once. Not even when they went shopping in New York. He watched in surprise when she managed to pull a bag out of the backseat that looked like it could hold a person inside of it if she wanted it to. She threw it over her shoulder and then pushed the door to the car open, sliding out while James worked to figure out just why the sinuous movements of her body were so sexy to him. "Are you coming or not?"

James was out of the car before she could get another sentence out, carefully making his way to her side and watching the other rows of cars to see if they were in any immediate danger. There didn't seem to be anyone, but that could mean nothing. HYDRA soldiers were good at blending in when they cared enough to make the effort.

"So, I was thinking we can go get my family presents," Nova hummed, slipping an arm around his waist. James stiffened just slightly as she leaned against his side, fitting herself underneath his arm. It would make his own access to his weapons limited, but Nova would have the range to grab any number that she might need. He could accept a delay in his own reaction time if it meant that Nova would be safer. Slowly, a little awkwardly, James fit his arm around Nova's shoulders, pulling her in closer. "I have a great idea of what to get the family and I think you're going to love it."

"What's your idea?" James asked, honestly curious. Then again, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. Nova had mentioned that she had an idea of what to get everyone a while ago, but hadn't told him what the idea actually was. He had to assume that, whatever it was, it wasn't practical.

"You'll have to wait and see. Come on," Nova started to drag him toward the mall and James used the opportunity to map out the HYDRA agents. They were still being followed, but not as closely as they could have been. One team was behind them, which meant that one team was in front of them. It would take some maneuvering to get around the last team, which had to be coming in from the side door. The mall was small and James could practically see the battle strategy the HYDRA agents would have mapped out in his mind.

"One team behind," James murmured to Nova, sure they were out of hearing range. Nova leaned her head back against his shoulder, eyes flickering to meet his. He didn't see any real fear, but she wasn't relaxed like he wished she could be. Whatever happened, it seemed like Nova trusted him to take care of her. And he would, even if she hadn't had to experience that side of him yet. "Two coming in."

"Go into the bathrooms," Nova ordered, tapping the small of his back as she started steering him toward the open area bathrooms. There were a few different areas, a female, male, and a family one. She glanced over his shoulder as they got closer, a barely there look that wouldn't alert anyone as she pressed a kiss against his jaw. "I have a change of clothes in the bag and so do you. If we change, they won't be able to track us as easily. We're going to put your hair up, let mine down, and then we're going to act like we aren't about to die."

"You're not going to die," James snapped, tightening his hold on her for a moment. No one would hurt her and he wouldn't have her believing that either. If she thought they were going to lose, it lowered their chances of survival. But that wasn't what sent a bolt of ice through his veins. The thought of her dead…

"Go." Nova practically shoved him into the family stall, interrupting his thoughts completely, and then slipped in after him, firmly shutting and locking the door. It was reminiscent of their last time shopping, when they'd been in the fitting rooms. He wouldn't mind repeating that episode but knew that it would have to wait. Nova's safety came before his own urges.

"You really have my clothes?" James asked, honestly surprised as Nova dropped her bag on the floor and pulled it open.

"Of course, I have a chance of clothes for you. I also have my change of clothes, a pair of widow's bites, a handgun, two cans of mace, three hunting knives, and two pairs of throwing knives. You thought I would come unprepared when I knew what we might have to face?" Nova demanded, tugging a shirt and jeans out of her bag and throwing them at him. James caught the clothing on instinct alone, blinking in surprise when he saw that they were, indeed, his clothes. Not just clothes that Nova had laying around, but clothing that she'd helped him pick out and helped him buy. "I actually designed the widow's bites, but Clint gave me the throwing knives and one of the cans of mace when he found out I was traveling with you. Tony insisted on the gun. He knows I'm trained. Natasha gave me another one, but that's on the thigh holster. Small caliber, perfect for hiding under clothing."

"You came with an arsenal?" James clarified dubiously, watching as Nova pulled out another outfit. Hers was a light, flowing skirt and a thin top with a sweater to go over it. There were even stockings to go with and he took a moment to stare at the woman he was with in wonder.

"Well, duh. You don't go anywhere without one, why are you surprised I do the same? Raised by SHIELD, remember? I had a knife at my side at all times by the time I was twelve. They would have had it on me before that, but I was kind of a clumsy kid," Nova explained, starting to tug her clothing off. James watched, cocking his head when she yanked her sweater off in one fluid motion. It revealed a black, lacy bra that was practically see through and he licked his lips. "Aren't you going to change? Or are you going to spend this time just staring at my boobs? Because that's fine but it might speed up, you know, our deaths!"

"Sorry!" James muttered automatically, turning away to change his own clothes. He yanked his own shirt over his head, clenching his jaw. Just because Nova had let him look at her before, just because he was allowed to touch her once, didn't mean she would accept him again. It didn't mean she wanted him again. He needed to focus on getting her home safely.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that." A soft hand rested against his shoulder and James tensed, freezing.

"Like what?" he snapped back, not bothering to look at her. Still unsure if he could.

"Like whatever you took it as. Turn around," she coaxed, gently pushing against his shoulder. James held completely still, unsure what to do in a moment like this. "Please turn around. I didn't mean you can't look at me or anything. I would never say that. I just meant that you need to hurry so we can get the hell out of here without getting killed. At least, I don't want to get killed here. But I don't want you to think I meant that any other way either."

Slowly, James shuffled around, eyes fixed to the floor. Nova moved, her red hair brushing against his lips as she leaned closer and pressed a kiss right along his collar bone. Reaching up, James gently brushed the tips of his fingers through her hair. Before he could do more, teeth dug into the sensitive flesh along his collar bone and James jerked back, surprise and the warm rush of arousal fueling his blood.

"You can look and touch whatever you'd like. But you have to catch me first," Nova dared, grabbing her stockings and sliding into them with a fluidity that he was sure was impossible. He'd never seen anyone get into stockings so fast in his life. Not even when he was Bucky, when women used to wear stockings all the time. His blood warmed when she saw that the stockings she was wearing had a black seam up the back, just like the ones from when he was young. Before he could really appreciate the way the stockings hugged her thighs or the curve of her ass, she was pulling on the skirt, already half dressed.

Grabbing his change of clothes, James flew through his transformation, almost ripping his jeans in an attempt to change faster. If it was a race Nova wanted, he would be sure to win.

"Don't break the clothing! How are we supposed to blend in if you rip the zipper of your pants off with your metal fingers?" Nova hissed, the harsh tone at odds with the snicker that came from her side soon after. James glanced at her through his hair, shooting her a glare when he realized that she was already dressed, her hair falling down around her shoulders in a mess of waves that looked completely natural. She'd tied a few trinkets into the strands already and he watched in awe as she braided a strand of hair in two seconds flat, clipping a charm to the end as if she did it all the time. "Come over here so I can fix your hair. I promise I won't bite. Unless you ask nicely."

James did as told, crouching down in front of Nova.

"You're facing the wrong way. What am I supposed to do with your hair if you're facing me?" she teased, long, thin fingers running through his unruly strands. Leaning into the touch for a moment, James let his weight fall to Nova, nose buried in her stomach. She held the back of his neck gently, fingers tickling the short hair.

Without waiting to be told, James turned to face away from her, perfectly balanced as he waited for her to start. Thin fingers combed through his hair and he felt her carefully manipulate the strands, hands soft against his scalp. It took her maybe a minute to twist his hair out of his face, her movements quick and sure. As soon as she was done tying the holder around his hair, she tapped his shoulder and stepped back. The loss of her heat had him standing and turning to face her, watching as she slid black cuffs onto each wrist. They didn't necessarily match the outfit she had on, but she didn't seem to care.

"They're widow's bites. Just prototypes, but they work as well as any I've made," Nova shrugged her shoulders and James raised a questioning eyebrow, sliding his own weapons back into their homes. "What?"

"Widow's bites you've made?" James clarified, glancing down at the wrist bands. They did look a little bulky, but he had assumed they were some form of weapon or another before she'd mentioned what they really were. He knew that Natalia had given Evangeline a pair of widow's bites before, but he also knew that Natalia wouldn't just give Nova a pair. The fact that she'd made them wasn't as surprising as it could have been had he known nothing about Nova.

"Yeah. I've designed more than a few pairs of widow's bites. Don't look so shocked. It's not like Natasha knows I'm the one behind the upgrades. Tony and I keep it to ourselves. Which means you keep it to yourself, capiche?" Nova smirked at him, grabbing her bag and emptying it out. All the weapons she claimed were in there were present and he wondered just what he'd done in his life to deserve someone like Nova. She was damn near perfect.

"Why keep it to yourself?" James demanded, wondering what it was that made Nova not want to leave her mark on the world. She was one of the few people he'd ever met who didn't care if someone remembered them or liked them. And she rarely ever took credit for the things she'd done. He'd seen her work on everything from rifles to the Ironman suits. No one was the wiser. Everyone just assumed Stark made them when really a brilliant, beautiful woman was behind the creations.

"Why does it matter who makes what so long as it works?" she countered, flipping her bag inside out. James blinked in surprise when he realized the bag she'd brought with was reversible. She started repacking weapons, hair falling to cover her face.

James itched to brush it out of the way, but held himself back. Was it really his place to do something so intimate?


	51. Build-A-Bear

**I'm thinking two chapters this time too because I've been terrible at updating. Also, because I can. I'm doing first round edits of my original manuscript and holy crap. I actually like editing, but I'm doing a complete rewrite to cut down on word count (if you guys didn't notice, I overwrite. Lol) and it's seriously turning my brain to mush. So here, have a few chapters. Your reviews are so sweet and definitely keep me going, I hope you continue to like the story!**

Nova knew that something was wrong with James and she knew that it was her fucking fault too. What was she thinking saying that James couldn't look at her? Who said something like that to a man who had been so abused in his life? She hadn't meant to make him feel like he couldn't reach out and touch her. It had been a shitty, shitty joke and now they were both paying for it as James awkwardly held her hand. He wouldn't let her closer than holding hands, no matter that she'd tried to slip under his arm and curl into his side. She didn't want to force him but she didn't want him to think she didn't want him either.

Honestly, she was more worried about James than she was about the HYDRA assholes who were about to try and kill them. Nova knew what it meant when a tail didn't bother to hide their tracks. Sure, they stayed a few cars back, but they were careless when looking for Nova and James. They were both trained to watch for tails. Nova had noticed them before James had said anything, but he'd wanted to stop and get something to eat, something she didn't want to risk doing. That is, until he decided to lose them in the mall. It could work. But they weren't going to convince anyone they were a real couple if James couldn't even really look at her.

"Here!" Nova squealed as soon as she saw the store she'd been looking for. It was a Build-A-Bear workshop and she was there to make a fleet of stuffed animals. No way were any of the Avengers leaving her Christmas without a stuffed bear.

"Build-A-Bear?" James questioned. Nova let his hand go and skipped toward the store front, ignoring the way James bolted after her like she might disappear if he lost her from his line of sight even for a moment. Because she was excited to start working on her Avenger bears. They were going to be perfect, she would guarantee it.

Ignoring the workers, Nova hopped over and started rapidly picking out bears. One with bright red hair, one with orange hair, a blond, one brown, and a golden retriever puppy. There was a bear that was colored just for Tony and Nova took that too. James was right behind her, crowding in close enough that his breath tickled the back of her neck, yet he still didn't touch her. Didn't grab her hand, didn't drag her back to him like he would any other day.

"Grab an animal or two. We're building presents," Nova informed James, who blinked at her curiously before turning and starting to consider his options. He grabbed a dark brown bear, the only one he took. Nova shrugged a little and started around the store, filling the bears with stuffing while the store associate watched on, smiling as Nova showed her all the bears she was making with the excuse that they were for her nieces and nephews. "I'm still deciding which bear to give to who. You know how it is, the kids will fight no matter who I give them."

"That's what kids do. I have two of my own and I swear they fight over everything," the woman shook her head with a laugh, obviously bonding with Nova's persona. She didn't like to lie to people, but it was one of the only ways to keep people from finding her and James. "Do you two have any children of your own?"

James's head snapped up at the question and Nova swore he had an aneurism as he stared at the woman like she'd grown a second head. It would have been funny if it wasn't kind of hurtful. What? Was having a kid with her that bad? Sure, she wasn't the most careful person in the world and it wasn't like she was really ready to have children, but she would love her kids. More than anything. They would never question her love and Nova was a bit hurt that James was so shocked at the very idea of having a child with her.

"Oh, no, not yet. This one wants to find a house first. Financial security and all that," Nova played the part, giggling and smacking James gently on the arm. He shot her a look that let her know he was aware she wasn't happy, but Nova turned away to pick out the hearts for her bears.

Soon after, the woman left them alone to pick out clothing, noting a few of the uniforms they had around. Like that of a Bucky Bear from the forties and a Captain America costume complete with felt shield.

"Nova," James came up behind her, close enough for his heat to burn against her back.

"It will only take a few minutes to find what I need and then we can go find a car," Nova informed him crisply, the ache in her chest still stinging. James stayed quiet for a moment but she knew he hadn't moved as she reached out to pick up the Steve Rogers outfit. There was no way she wasn't making a Captain Ameri-bear. Whether it was for James or Evangeline, Nova wasn't quite sure yet. Originally, it was meant to go to Evangeline, but James would probably like it as well. More than he would like her bear, anyway. Because apparently she wasn't someone he could see a future with or anything.

She knew it shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. What were they to one another anyway? A quick roll in the hay? They'd never talked about their relationship, or lack thereof. All Nova knew was that she liked him way too much for her own sanity and they were really good at hurting one another. Like, pros.

"What's wrong?" James asked a moment later, breaking the silence. Nova shook her head a little, reaching for the Ironman costume. James growled behind her when she didn't talk to him, obviously annoyed and unable to do anything about it at the moment. Ignoring him was the best option. Nova knew that she would say something stupid if she talked to him. It was kind of her MO. If she just gave it time, the sting of pain would go away and she wouldn't have to deal with it.

Searching the costumes, she ignored the way James was always just a step behind, shadowing her like a bodyguard instead of someone she cared about. Wishing that she wasn't the one who had reverted him to that role, Nova kept her head ducked a bit and shopped through the store. There was a Black Widow costume and Nova grabbed that as well, the Hawkeye costume next to it also coming for the ride. Grabbing a pair of overalls and a pink top, Nova also grabbed a pair of glasses. From the corner of her eye, she saw James grab a costume but made herself ignore it.

The last bear she needed to dress up was her Evangeline bear and that was going to Steve, no doubt about that. Just like Clint and Natasha were getting each other's bears. They were BFFs and it only made sense, even if they weren't romantically involved anymore. Steve would get Evie's and Nova started hunting for an appropriate outfit, her silent shadow mirroring her movements. Every time she so much as shifted her weight, James responded. She wasn't even sure it was a conscious decision. He just did it.

Finally grabbing a sweater and a pair of black pants that could have been leggings, Nova hummed. Her Evangeline bear wasn't as special as she wanted it to be, but it would have to do. Because nothing was going to compare to the real Evie anyway. Jerking in surprise, Nova almost dropped her choices when a hand appeared in her vision. It glinted silver at the wrist in the low light of the shop but that wasn't what caught Nova's attention and held it. It was a pair of dog tags. Not real ones, obviously, but a pair that was made for the bears. Slowly, Nova took them from James, holding them carefully.

He'd known exactly what would make the Evangeline bear special. Steve's dog tags.

Speechless, Nova turned to look up at James, who was watching her with warm eyes. The fingers of his prosthetic came up and brushed gently down her cheek, the leather of his gloves smooth against her warm skin. A moment later, he dropped his hand and glanced toward the check out.

"We should get going," he informed her, eyes returning to her face and never straying.

"Yes, we should," Nova agreed, not moving for a moment as she met his eyes. Was it really so bad to be with her? Was that something he didn't want? Could she see a future with Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes?

"Come on," James shuffled her toward the check out and Nova let him, juggling her purchases in an attempt not to lose any of the clothing. Moments later, they were all dressed and packed up. Nova hadn't even seen what James had gotten and had a feeling it was by design, though he didn't say a word to her about it. Fighting the urge to ask him, Nova smiled and paid the cashier in cash. The woman didn't bat an eyelash, being the same one Nova had talked to earlier about buying presents for her nieces and nephews. Obviously, the trip would be seen as planned by anyone else who thought to watch her pay.

Sticking the rest of the cash into her pocket, Nova took the bags that the woman offered her, the boxes inside light and manageable.

They were out of the shop in minutes, both holding handfuls of bags. James kept to Nova's side, eyes scanning the area for any danger. Nova wished she could reach out for him, wanting to know what he was thinking and if he cared about her with the same intensity she cared about him.

It wasn't unusual for Nova to start to care about other people before they cared about her. Relationships weren't really something she did often. Sure, she'd had sex before and been a girlfriend more than once, but it was hard to be a girlfriend when she was lying all the time. No one could know about her family, about her work. No one could know the people she knew, the things she knew. Lying didn't make for the best relationships and Nova was always the one who fell short, no matter how much she cared. Why was it surprising her that James wasn't in love with her? That he wouldn't want for her to have his children? When had she ever met anyone who had thought about having children with her?

It wasn't that she wanted children with James. It wasn't even that she wanted him to confess his undying love to her in the middle of a cheesy romantic dinner with her friends and family watching. But she didn't want just the idea of that life to disgust him. She didn't want him to look at her and not see any sort of future.

"There are two men coming toward us who are HYDRA. We need to move," James murmured under his breath, eyes flickering to hers before he was gone again. Nova didn't even have time to brace for the shift from James to not-James, who was suddenly stiff next to her. His hand snapped out before Nova could think and he was holding her hand, pulling her close to his side as if to shield her from any form of danger. His eyes darkened in a way that was purely predatory.

"Not-James, we're not going to fight them," Nova hissed, forcing herself to be calm and to shove back her concerns about James. Whatever James felt, Nova knew that not-James would take out an entire HYDRA army if he thought it would keep her safe. She was his mission in his mind. Someone who was meant to be protected. Nova couldn't let not-James put himself in that kind of danger.

"They won't hurt you," not-James informed her, eyes firmly focused on his targets.

"If we get out of here, no one needs to get hurt," Nova reminded him, squeezing his hand the best she could. Not-James stared at her for a moment, eyes narrowed like he was contemplating her offer.

"They won't stop looking. The best option is elimination," not-James decided, herding Nova toward a hallway that led to a bathroom. "Stay here and stay hidden."

He turned to leave and Nova dropped the bags in her hands, reaching out to snag his arm and swing him back to face her. Nova knew that the only reason she managed to stop him was because he let her, but she didn't let that bother her. If she let him walk out there, he would fight the HYDRA agents and she didn't want him injured.

"We don't have to fight. I can lose them if we can get to a car. Let me try and lose them," Nova pressed, one step above begging. She wasn't someone who wouldn't beg. If not-James didn't listen to her, she would grovel if she had to.

"You won't be safe if they're allowed to live," not-James announced, as if that finalized the decision. He was gone before Nova could really do anything. Snarling in frustration, Nova kicked one of the bags, noticing that James had left her the entire collection of Build-A-Bears. Huffing out a breath, she moved to huddle the bears in one corner, almost jumping out of her skin when a woman appeared at the end of the hallway. It was the woman from the Build-A-Bear shop.

"Oh, hey," she cheerfully greeted. Nova smiled back, knowing that she needed to play the part. "Waiting on someone?"

"Oh, my boyfriend is in the bathroom. As soon as he comes out it's my turn," Nova offered with a chuckle, curiosity starting to surface when the woman didn't walk past her, but stopped near her. It wasn't really all that odd that someone from a store would talk to her, but Nova was wary immediately. Something was wrong.

"That boyfriend of yours looked a little dangerous. You sure you're okay with him?" the woman asked, a smile still lighting her lips. Nova immediately frowned, dropping the cheery act and trying to read the woman before her. Why would she be concerned about James? He hadn't done anything to hurt her in front of the woman and it wasn't like Nova was injured that anyone could see. She wasn't hiding bruises. Well, no bruises that didn't have to do with a little romp in the hay or an attack on their car.

"He's a great guy. I don't know why you'd think he was dangerous. Been a big teddy bear our entire relationship," Nova offered, slowly backing up a step. The woman automatically followed and Nova's mind whirred. That was a move that was only repeated by people Nova knew. Only by trained killers.

"Are you sure there's nothing you want to tell me?" the woman pressed and Nova took a breath.

"I don't think you're too worried about me at all," she snapped, giving up the charade and sliding into a fighting stance. If her training hadn't kicked in immediately, Nova would have never been able to catch the first punch the woman threw, fist flying toward Nova's face. Redirecting the force into the wall, Nova threw herself into the woman, knee catching her in the stomach.

Before she could attack again, the woman managed to clip Nova's jaw with a heavy handed punch, knocking her to the side for a moment. The stars that swirled her vision were blinked away quickly and Nova shoved at the woman, managing to shove her back just enough to give her some maneuvering room. Grabbing at her own wrists, Nova's fingernails caught on the edge of the widow's bites and dragged the dangerous gloves up and over her fingers, the charges humming to life.

Another swing managed to catch Nova's cheekbone, the sharp pain shuttering through her bones offset by the sting of her teeth cutting into her bottom lip. Copper swam along her tongue and Nova spit immediately, grimacing at the spot of blood that marred the carpet now.

"You think you can fight me? I've been trained by the best HYDRA has to offer," the woman taunted, flicking her hair out of her face with her fists up in the air before her. Her stance was strong and she was heavier than Nova, something that always happened when Nova was involved in a fight. She might be taller, but not by much and the other woman had more than a few pounds on her. If they ended up on the ground, Nova wouldn't win. Her best chance was her speed.

"I was trained by the best SHIELD has to offer," Nova snapped back, kicking out immediately. The woman barely managed to dodge, Nova's heel bouncing off of her ankle with enough force to have her wincing. "Trust me, SHIELD kicks the shit out of HYDRA. That bullshit about two heads popping up when you cut off one is just that. Bullshit. Dead is dead, lady. HYDRA doesn't give a shit about you. If something happens to me, SHIELD will come. Are you prepared for that?"

"We're counting on it," the woman lunged and Nova sidestepped, driving a fist into the woman's stomach. The widow's bites sparked to life, the scent of burned fabric reaching Nova's nose as the woman convulsed, shoving away from Nova dramatically to fall back against the opposite wall and stare at Nova in shock.

"You thought I would be an easy target? That I wouldn't fight back? Are you stupid as well as naïve?" Nova snarled, intent on taunting the woman into doing something stupid. The voice behind her was a surprise.

"She's not stupid. That's why we're here," the male voice announced. Nova spun to face the new threat, snarling like a pissed off alley cat when a man grabbed her from behind and held her arms still. Kicking her feet, Nova was forced to face the newcomer. Standing before her was someone she'd hoped was dead. His dark hair was perfectly combed away from his face and his eyes took in her every movement, shoulders squared and hands hanging loosely at his sides. A fighter's stance. "Nova Maddox. It's been a while."

"Grant Ward. I was hoping you were in a shallow grave somewhere. Preferably in a ditch," Nova growled, kicking out at the man again. He was just out of her reach and she desperately wanted to beat the shit out of that particular asshole. He'd left Evie to die at her brother's hand. He'd known her brother was bat shit crazy and he'd hired the bastard. Nova wouldn't forgive him for what he'd done, no matter what fucking information he'd provided SHIELD. To Nova, the Grant she knew was as good as dead. The man standing in his place deserved a special place in hell that Nova would gladly reserve him.

"I forgot how pleasant you were," he hummed, eyeing the woman who was still twitching on the ground. "Your inventions are still masterpieces. Samantha wasn't expecting that sort of fight."

"I'm sure that all of your HYDRA lackeys are underestimating SHIELD right now, Grant. Do you forget what we do? Where we came from? Are you so far gone that you forgot the rumors?" Nova taunted, waiting as her widow's bites recharged. They only needed two minutes to recharge and Nova was going to give them that, even if it meant talking to Grant.

"The rumors of the Legacies? Are those the rumors you're talking about? Because I'm not the only one who remembers those rumors. That's why you're being targeted, Nova. I've heard rumors, whispers, that someone is looking for the Dugan stronghold. If that sort of information gets out… We'll have a mess on our hands," Grant shrugged his shoulders, glancing at the man holding Nova.

"You came here to warn me? Why the hell would you do that?" Nova blinked in surprise, her tone harsh. What was Grant doing? Why would he want her to know that she was in danger? What did it gain him?

"It's important to me that your family survives," the man informed her with a nonchalant shrug. Nova scowled. She didn't want to play his mind games. She wasn't Evie, she wouldn't fall for his bullshit. Whatever he knew wasn't worth any of this. Snarling, Nova heard the hum of electricity that informed her her widow's bites were functional.

"I don't give a fuck what's important to you, Ward," Nova snapped, slamming a hand against the wrist of the man who was holding her. He dropped like a brick, the scream in his throat muffled as his body fell. Nova fell with him, gritting her teeth against the pain of her head knocking against the wall. Shoving off of the man, Nova scrambled to get up.

"Well, that wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but I understand your position. Remember my warning, Nova. Your family is in danger and HYDRA is involved, but not under my orders. We both want the same thing. The people hunting your family dead," Grant informed her, pulling a gun. Nova slipped a hand up her skirt and her hand wrapped around her pistol when Grant took his shot, gun aimed at her chest.

Taking a deep, shocked breath, Nova waiting for the pain as the bullets tore out of the gun, the noise loud as a clap of thunder.

The pain never came. Warmth spattered across Nova's arm and she jerked away from the man who had been holding her, twisting in horror to look at the body. Blood gushed from a wound on his chest, crimson staining the white of his shirt and spreading along Nova's skirt.

"Leave no witnesses," Grant informed her, swinging the gun toward the woman. He took the shot.


	52. Gunshots

The Asset's head snapped around as the sound of gunshots burst through the mall. People screamed, running in every direction, while he shifted his hands and jerked, the man he'd been fighting's neck snapping with an audible crack before his body thumped to the ground. Spinning toward the noise, the Asset's mind jumped to the one obvious conclusion.

Nova.

He was moving before he made the conscious decision, mind swirling with possibilities. He was meant to protect her. She was supposed to stay in the hallway, stay hidden. He'd made sure she was safe, that she wasn't in the line of sight of any of the men who were following them. He'd gotten them all. All six of them were dead. There should have been no one left to hurt her. There was no one to hurt her. She couldn't be hurt, he couldn't have let her get hurt… What if she was dead?

His entire body shook at just the thought as he tore through the rest of the mall, skidding around the corner to the hallway he'd left Nova in. Frantic, his eyes were immediately drawn to the body of a woman on the floor. His heart clenched painfully in his chest and the Asset let go.

James stared at the woman with a bullet hole through her chest, attention flickering away as he noted that her hair was dark. The woman from the Build-A-Bear store, his mind supplied, even as panic made him move on. His human hand shivered in a way he'd never experienced, adrenaline pouring through his veins at just the thought that he would never be able to see Nova alive and whole again. He hadn't even told her… he hadn't told her anything. Nothing important, not really. He had to see her again so that he could tell her all the things about her that made his heart clench and his hands reach out automatically to touch her. He needed to ensure that she knew she was brilliant, that she was a genius and so, so beautiful. He needed her to know it all.

Red hair. Red hair pulled his attention to the woman crouched on the ground near the bags he'd left Nova with, blood covering her clothing. Her chocolate eyes flickered up to him, Nova's eyes widening as she realized it was him. The world slowed to syrup around him as he lunged toward her, chest constricting as he noted the bruises developing along her face. Blood painted her lips crimson. Tears glistened along her warm brown eyes and James reached out as he dropped to his knees before her, hands connecting with her soft skin as though time had slowed to a crawl.

"It's not mine," her voice rang through the silence that reigned around her, cracking as she tried to reassure him. James tugged Nova closer, hands running over her body as he searched for new wounds. There were swollen spots along her ribs and her lip was cut rather severely, but he couldn't find a bullet wound. There was no wound that would cause the amount of blood that was soaked into her clothing. James yanked her shirt out of the way, flesh fingers pressing into the smooth skin of her abdomen, where most of the blood had settled. There were no wounds that would bleed like that. Her stitches had ripped slightly and blood was oozing from the tears, but there wasn't anything new, nothing that would kill her. "Jamie, it's not my blood. I'm fine. A little bruised, but it's not my blood."

Thin fingers were pressing into his cheeks, forcing his eyes away from the mess along her clothing. James tore his gaze away, meeting Nova's eyes. The tears were still glistening. Whatever had happened, it had scared her. He could sense the fear through the slight shake of her fingers, the gentle way she touched him like he would disappear if she held on too tightly. This was a side of her he hadn't had a chance to experience up close before. He'd heard her voice tremble when they'd almost lost Evangeline. He'd noticed the way her hands shook at the controls before they'd left when she'd shown up at the Tower to help them find her best friend. But she'd never been so afraid with him. She'd always been safe and she'd known it. Something terrible must have happened to take that confidence away from her.

James's hands automatically mirrored her movements, large hands cupping her jaw gently. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip, wincing with her when his finger touched the swollen cut that marred the area. It was already bruising, dark around the edges.

"Jamie, I'm okay. We need to go before the cops come," Nova reminded him, her eyes never leaving his.

James brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones, ignoring the urgent tone of her voice. She was alive. Alive and talking. His human fingers shook as he took in her appearance, wishing he hadn't thought to leave her. The Asset hadn't been wrong, the HYDRA agents couldn't live, but leaving Nova alone had almost caused her death. He couldn't let that happen.

He couldn't imagine a future without Nova in it.

"Jamie, we'll never make it out of here if we don't leave right now. You know that," Nova murmured, leaning forward, into his chest. James curled his human arm around her shoulders as her forehead pressed against his shoulder. Her entire body shook and James was aware that his own did as well. It had been too close. He'd been too close to losing her. There was a difference between leaving if Nova wanted him to and her dying. As long as Nova was out in the world, alive and healthy, he could leave her. But her dying would kill him. The knowledge resonated deep in his bones. He would take every bastard that had ever thought to hurt her with him if she died, but he would follow her without a second thought. Everyone had someone in the world they would die for and Nova was his. He would die for Steve if Steve asked him to, but Nova never had to ask. He would follow her anywhere.

"I won't let them take you," he whispered into her hair, pressing his lips against her scalp.

"I know you won't," she answered immediately, pulling back. James almost didn't let her go. If she left his embrace, she was once again in danger and he could almost feel the Asset pacing below his consciousness. Bucky wasn't far behind. They would never let anything happen to her and James was almost thankful for the shit he had gone through to know, without a doubt, that he had all of his memories at his disposal. Sometimes, the Asset was the best one for the job. But Bucky had a specific skillset that was only enhanced by his feelings. James was going to let them both do what they'd all sworn they would. Protect Nova.

"You're right. We need to move," James acknowledged, pushing to his feet. Blood matted the jeans on his left thigh, a bullet graze that had hurt like a bitch. Even the Asset had noted the pain before pushing it away. Nova wasn't the only one who was wounded, but James ignored all the pain, reaching down to help Nova up. She was what was important right now. He could take care of himself later. There had never been a moment when Nova had needed him more than he needed her. That moment had finally come around and he wasn't going to let her down.

Nova winced as he pulled her to her feet as gently as he could. Her hand immediately flew to her stitches, the same side where her ribs were harmed. Later, he would bandage her wounds and remind her once again just how much he adored her. For now, he grabbed the bags from the store with the stuffed animals, intent on at least making sure he did this one thing right. Leaving her had been a mistake he couldn't afford to repeat. Before moving, James looked at her pointedly, shifting his elbow in a move that Bucky had perfected in his youth. Nova's small smirk pulled at her lip as she slipped her fingers into the crook of his elbow, letting him lead her toward the back of the hallway away from all the blood and gore that had surrounded them.

"It was Grant," Nova spoke, her voice still thick with unshed tears. James's head snapped up at the thought of Nova being left alone with the same man who had left Evangeline to die by her brother's hand. If Evangeline had been less of a warrior, she would have never survived. Nova was a lot of things, but she wasn't a warrior, not in the traditional sense. If Grant Ward had gone after her, it was a miracle she'd survived. James had seen what the man was willing to let happen to his friends and he wasn't impressed.

"What did he want?" James snapped, a snarl sliding across his lips. He owed Grant Ward death.

"He didn't want to hurt me. He came to tell me that HYDRA was behind the search for the Dugan house, but not under his orders. Whoever is doing this, he isn't in charge. There's a rogue HYDRA group. He wants them dead as much as we do," Nova explained slowly, limping along next to him. James felt bad for picking up the pace as the sound of sirens met his ears, but it couldn't be helped. They needed to get away from here before they were seen covered in blood. The police wouldn't be kind if they were caught.

"Underestimating Grant Ward will get both of us killed. He might not be behind it, but he won't be helpful in a fight either," James reminded her, pushing through an emergency exit without care. The alarm didn't go off and he silently thanked the universe for small mercies as he pulled Nova out toward the cars parked near the back of the mall.

Only employees would have their cars out here and that would give them a few hours to drive before the car was reported stolen. They only needed a few hours to get to a safe house. Once at a safe house, they could bandage their wounds and get new clothing as well as an unregistered car. As soon as they were rested and healing, they would move on. James wasn't about to let anyone find them again. Nova's safety was paramount and he'd already put her in danger too many times to count.

"I'm not underestimating him. I'm trying to figure out why he wants my family to survive. What is it to Grant? Why did he come to warn me? Why did he give Evie all those names of traitors within SHIELD's ranks? It doesn't make any sense. He's our enemy. If he had to choose between my family and HYDRA, he would choose HYDRA. He's on whatever side will win. Why warn us?" Nova muttered, mostly talking to herself.

James walked confidently up to a Sedan, sure that it would blend in nicely on the city roads. It wasn't an incredibly fast car, but fast enough. They needed anonymity more than they needed speed.

"Open it. I'll drive for a while," James informed Nova, watching as she fumbled with the bag that was thrown over his shoulder casually.

"I can drive. You don't even know how," Nova reminded him, as if that was going to stop him. It wasn't that he didn't know how to drive. It was just that he knew how much driving meant to Nova. Not to mention he hadn't driven since Nazi Germany and he got the idea that things had changed in the last eighty years.

"I know enough. You're exhausted," James reminded her, watching as she pulled out lock picking pins.

"So are you and you want to drive. I could drive to the next house in my sleep, Jamie. It's not like I haven't been this way a hundred times before. This is my home, or close to it. Arguing won't solve anything," she huffed, unlocking the door in record time. James moved to push the bags left behind into the backseat, reaching for Nova when she went to slide into the driver's seat without a thought. His flesh arm curved around her back, pulling her tightly into his chest one more time. Her heart beat rapidly against his and James wished they were alone. He wanted to run his hands down all the most intimate parts of her to remind himself that she was alive and whole.

"Are you sure?" he demanded instead, brushing his fingers through the tangled waves on the top of her head. Metal clinked together and he wished that his prosthetic didn't get tangled in the mess so often. He would kill to be able to bury both hands in her hair and feel the soft strands against his palms.

"Get in the car, Jamie. If I get tired, you'll be the first to know," she promised, pushing him back. He let her move him reluctantly. Before she could blink, he was around the car and he slid into his seat at the same time she did, immediately reaching out for her fingers. Her hands slid into his and their fingers laced together, her hold firm and tight. James tightened his fingers, careful not to hurt her as she took the idling car out of park and threw it in reverse.

They were flying toward the back roads as he dug the carton of cigarettes out of his pocket. Grabbing one, he let her fingers go just long enough to light it before he was back, holding tightly. The shaking in his hands seemed to cease as soon as he took his first drag, the burn of smoke in his lungs calming his racing heart.

Bucky had smoked all the time.

That was a lie. Bucky smoked any time he wasn't around Steve. Steve had bad lungs and the smoke irritated him. Bucky made sure that he wasn't around when he was smoking and it was a guilty pleasure that James couldn't kick when he'd gotten his memories back. He didn't do it in the Tower, the AI had locked him in a closet the first time he'd tried. But out in the world, he could do as he pleased. The scent and the burn helped him come back to himself, warming up the ice in his soul.

Nova hadn't said anything about it yet. She didn't say anything now as he rolled down the window enough to drag the smoke out of the car. It wasn't healthy for her either, according to Steve. When they'd been in war together, all the men had smoked. James couldn't remember a time when the men in his unit didn't light up after a battle. The research proving smoking wasn't healthy hadn't come out until decades later. Even now, James wasn't sure how much of it he believed. Everything in this new world caused death. It seemed that this new millennium was all about living forever. If anyone had bothered to ask, James would have let them know just how terrible it was to live longer than a person had any right to. Even with Steve in his life, James wouldn't want to live forever. He wouldn't want to have to live to see Nova die. His parents, his unit, his sisters, so many people had died while he was the Asset. He couldn't live through that for eternity. Why would anyone want to?

"If you're going to smoke in the car, it's only polite to offer me one," Nova spoke, her voice hoarse and her chocolate eyes dull. James sucked in a deep drag, considering his answer. Nova was a step from shock. Her hand was freezing in his and her shaking was getting worse. It would only take a few words to send her over the edge. Whatever that bastard had said to her, whatever had happened while she was alone, it had hit her harder than he liked.

"It's unhealthy. Steve says the cigs cause cancer," James reminded her. While he didn't want to live forever and wouldn't force it on anyone, he didn't want to contribute to Nova's life ending any earlier than it absolutely had to. He would only be happy when Nova was over a hundred years old with silvering hair and enough explosives surrounding her to take out a bunker. She would die in her sleep with children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Not of cancer, not of sickness or a gun, but by old age. Her body simply unable to continue.

"Steve can shove his medical knowledge up his ass. Please? Just one?" Nova blinked at him, eyes barely flickering to the road. James pulled the cigarette from between his lips and held it out to her as an offering. He didn't want to contribute to her death, but Nova would live for as long as he could ensure her life. One cigarette wouldn't end that. "Thank Heimdall. I haven't smoked a cigarette since I was seventeen and Evie found me with a pack on the roof of Sci Ops. It was a nightmare. She told Mama and I was grounded for months."

"You used to smoke?" James asked, curious and a little worried. One cigarette wouldn't hurt her. But packs of cigarettes could.

"I wouldn't call it that. I smoked for about two weeks before I was called out on it. Then I only smoked during finals. Honestly, finals at Sci Ops were worse than finals at any other college, I swear. Not only did I have all the written test on normal things like math and English, but I had to do finals on German, Latin, Spanish, advanced physics, engineering, labs, and everything else that goes into being a SHIELD agent," Nova untangled their fingers so she could drive and smoke, grimacing when the cigarette brushed against the cut on her lip. "Did you get some without filters?"

"Filters didn't exist in my day," James shrugged, watching her take a long drag. The tip of the cigarette burned like a bright sun in the growing darkness and James wondered what he would have to do to keep Nova safe from HYDRA. What he'd have to do to keep any of them safe.

"Yeah, well, you're kind of old," Nova let her lips curl into the beginnings of a smirk, eyes back on the road. Her body still shook, but some of the light returned to her eyes and that was all James could really ask for.

"Yeah, well, you're kind of young."


	53. Apologies and the New Safehouse

**Okay, so I have some serious apologies to make here. My excuses definitely aren't good enough, so I'm just going to say I'm super sorry for basically ditching the updates on this story. I do have most of it written, but I don't have a beta, so what I'm planning on doing is basically a big update with multiple chapters to hold you guys over until I can write more. I'm so sorry! I hope you're still interested in what happens between Nova, James, and her family!**

Nova pulled into the driveway of the new safe house, hands still shaking from the pain and the fear. What would Grant do if he found her family? Would he kill them all? He said he wanted them alive, but that meant nothing. He risked Evie's death, he didn't give a shit about Nova. They'd been like family once. Nova had even considered asking him to Christmas. Now she was thankful she'd gotten caught up in building Tony's idea for a ray gun. If she'd invited him home… this war would have been over before it started.

Instead of parking out front, Nova pulled right around the house, toward the back door. The house wasn't visible from the road, but this way no one could see the stolen car if they drove up. No one came out to this far anyway. It was a Dugan house, Maggie's. She'd let all the siblings stay there at one point or another. Nova had driven an extra ninety miles to find her sister's house. It didn't matter that Maggie wasn't currently home. What mattered was the smell, the sight, the warmth of her sister that she desperately needed at the moment. They would see her family tomorrow. They would be late, but they would be there before Mama would send out the cavalry. It still wasn't soon enough for Nova. She needed to have a piece of them now, right now. After what had happened, she wouldn't feel safe until they were all safe under the roof of the Dugan compound.

"This is the safe house?" James asked, a gun appearing in each hand. Nova nodded slightly and he was gone before she could ask him not to shoot the house up if he did happen to find someone in there. All Nova really wanted was a warm bath and a hot meal. Maybe a few slow kisses, if James was open to it. He hadn't seemed as concerned during the car ride as he'd been before the attack, but that didn't mean he didn't remember her telling him not to look at her. It didn't mean that everything was all right, no matter how much she wanted it to be.

Parking the car, Nova let her head fall back to rest against the headrest, ignoring the sharp pain that ran through her skull as a reminder that she'd hit her head on the wall. Her entire body shook from equal parts exhaustion and shock, her mind replaying the scene with Grant on a constant loop. She'd honestly thought he would kill her. She still wasn't sure he hadn't.

"Clear," a rough voice knocked her out of her trance and Nova's eyes found James's steel blue, the door to the car open and cold air rushing in. He wasn't dressed for the weather but he didn't seem to notice as he reached out a hand to help her up. It was such a gentlemanly thing to do that Nova felt the tears she'd been holding back spill over, sobs wracking her body in moments. James was there immediately, crowding her and pulling her into his warm embrace as if nothing had changed between them. "You're all right. You're safe."

"He could have killed me," Nova sobbed, arms curling around James's shoulders as she clung to him, wishing that they were back at the Tower, safe. The drive used to be fun. This was a nightmare.

"Grant Ward won't hurt you. I won't let him hurt you," James murmured, petting her hair with a gentle hand. His arms curled around her tighter and Nova sucked in a wet breath when James completely picked her up, carrying her out of the car and toward the safe house. He carried her bridal style, metal arm holding her legs while his flesh arms curved around her back, fingers stroking her back as he moved. His movements were smooth and predatory, each step calculated. He was a man on the hunt and Nova couldn't help but wonder what it was he was hunting.

"What if he finds the Dugan house?" Nova asked, the very thought pulling another round of sobs from her. Burying her face in James's shoulder, she tried to hide the tears.

Dugans didn't cry in the face of danger. They didn't step back or back down. They never surrendered to the enemy. It was better to die with honor than to live in fear. Fighting was in her blood, she wasn't meant to cry. It was weak to cry like this. Even as the thoughts crossed her mind, Nova let out another harsh sob, the idea of her family being in danger haunting her thoughts.

"If he finds the Dugan house, we'll put an end to him. Steve and I will make sure that he doesn't come after you again," James informed her, pushing the door to the safe house open and carrying her in. Nova wished she could believe him, but she knew a fight like that would end in casualties on both sides. Losing another family member was something she couldn't even imagine. After Tripp… After Tripp died, they'd all lost a bit of themselves. Nova couldn't even remember a time without him as family. It had taken a while to learn to live again and she was still fighting off the anxiety, the horror, at the thought of him dying in some hole, scared and alone.

What would happen if someone else she loved died?

"Steve will take Evie and run. It's the only move that makes sense," Nova muttered as James moved toward the bedroom. Nova had been in the house a dozen times in her life and she noted he was taking her to the bedroom with the least access points but the most escape routes. Yes, they were two different things and yes, James had obviously noted that as well.

"Steve doesn't run from a fight. He doesn't like bullies," James informed her, moving to the bed and gently setting her down on it. Nova let her arms fall from his neck, wishing that he hadn't let her go as tears streamed hot down her cheeks. He moved to the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom and Nova curled in on herself, hugging her knees to her chest and wishing there was a lab in Maggie's house. Anything to keep her mind off of the danger that seemed to lurk around every corner.

"Who likes bullies? And Evie's safety means more to him than my entire family combined," Nova snarled, wondering if James would argue that point too. Everyone knew that Steve would let the world burn in favor of saving Evie. He was a righteous man, but not so righteous that he would let Evie die to save others. It was actually quite the opposite. He would let everyone die to save Evie. His sense of duty only extended to the doorstep of his apartment. As soon as danger got in, only one person and one person alone mattered. Nova could blame him all she wanted, but she knew the truth. Really, she would want Evie safe too. And she would let the entire world burn to save those she loved. Were they really so different, her and Steve? When it came down to it, weren't their priorities the same?

"Even if Steve leaves with Evangeline, I would stay," James announced, returning from the bathroom with a wet towel and a first aid kit. The kit was larger than almost any Nova had ever seen but James wielded it easily, moving to set it on the bed next to her.

"And what do I do if you die?" Nova asked, voice so quiet she wasn't sure that he would hear her even with super soldier hearing.

What would she do if James died? If her Jamie was killed, how would she survive? Any of her family members dying would kill her, but James? James was invincible. He'd lived through too much to die in the Dugan house, no matter who attacked it. Living was something he excelled at. He'd survived everything so far, she couldn't imagine his death. She didn't want to.

"If I die, you live," James shrugged like it meant nothing and Nova bit her lips, swearing profusely when she bit into the cut there.

"Fuck! That hurt like a bitch!" Nova howled, wincing as James pressed the wet cloth he'd brought out into her now bleeding lip. The blood was warm against her chin as he wiped it up, pain blooming along her face. As her body started to relax, the pain became more potent, her body protesting the violent treatment she'd received. While driving, she could ignore it. Now it was at the forefront of her thoughts, pulsing below the surface.

"Hold still."

James wiped away the blood on her face carefully, his touch gentle and tender in a way that Nova had never experienced before. His dark eyes took in his work as he went, cool metal fingers brushing along the bruises on her cheekbone and jaw in a way that sent shivers down her spine. A frown tilted his lips as he took in what was probably the start of her bruising and Nova wished she could just lean in and kiss it all away. But her lip hurt like a motherfucker and she wasn't sure he would want her advances. Not after she'd so stupidly told him not to look at her. The look on his face wasn't going to leave her mind for years to come, she was sure.

"You're quiet," James murmured, his voice the only sound in the silence.

"I don't have anything to say," Nova answered honestly. What could she say? Her family was in danger, they were in danger, he was in danger. She couldn't imagine a world without any of them. What would she do in a world that didn't have a James Buchanan Barnes in it?

"I don't believe that," James's lips turned up at the corners and Nova let her body relax further, automatically starting to uncurl her arms from around her knees. James pulled her legs off the bed gently, starting to coax her into a standing position. Nova let him pull her up to her feet, wishing that these moments would never end. When he was gentle and loving, when he touched her like she was breakable. No one touched her like James did. "Wash off and we'll talk about whatever you want."

"Don't make promises you won't keep," Nova retorted immediately, leaning heavily against James, who wrapped an arm around her waist to keep her upright. Exhaustion was catching up and Nova wasn't sure she would be able to stay awake through a shower.

"I never make promises I can't keep," James shrugged broad shoulders, shuffling her into the bathroom and setting her on the toilet. Nova shivered, watching as James started the bath like he knew exactly what she needed. He probably did. He was perceptive in a way that Nova couldn't understand. After being hurt so many times by so many people, how could he still be so unfailingly kind?

"You'll tell me anything?" Nova asked, blinking curiously at the man before her. He tested the water with his prosthetic fingers and Nova wondered how good of a readout it gave him with the glitch-ing and the nerve attachments. The thought slid through her mind, disappearing a moment later.

"Anything," he confirmed with a confidence Nova didn't quite understand. She didn't believe that any topic was open for discussion. She didn't believe that he would talk to her about his days as not-James and she didn't believe he'd talk about all the death that had surrounded him for almost a century. He didn't talk much about his past. There were very good reasons for that. Why would he tell her anything about it when he wouldn't even talk to Steve or Sam? Sam, Steve's other bestie, was the Avengers' therapist. He'd worked for the VA before Steve had drafted him into his one man army. Now they were a duo that even James couldn't penetrate.

Sam had tried to talk to James. Nova knew that much. He thought he could help him with the memories since all soldiers had memories they wished they could forget. While Sam was one of those people who adjusted well to coming home from the war, he still got that look in his eye that Nova recognized. Tony talked about him sometimes and told Nova that Sam had trouble with his past just like the rest of them. He was just as effected as James. That was why he thought he could talk to him, get him to see that he wasn't the enemy, he wasn't at fault. But it had gone nowhere. James had shut him out. Nova knew because she'd been at Evie's bedside when Sam had tried to get James to come to his office a few months ago.

James had been silent and keeping guard at Evie's doorway ever since she'd been hurt. Nova had thought it was a bit odd, but she joked with him and teased him and did whatever she could to bother the man whenever she went down to visit. Steve told her to leave him alone and Evie suggested it would be easier for them all if Nova stopped teasing James, but it was something that got him to react. Most of the time he had on a blank face, eyes staring ahead like he was dead or set on standby. It had been something Nova had been determined to change and she'd gotten more out of him than anyone else could, so she refused to stop, even when Steve got a stick up his ass about it.

Now, Nova figured that not-James had been in charge. He'd reverted to James when she'd talked to him, but he'd been not-James more often than not. It was his mind's way of protecting him from the pain and the memories. Sam had almost gotten stabbed when he'd come to talk. Nova had come out just in time to witness the grand finale. Sam had told James that all he had to do was say something for him to go away and James's word hadn't been anything that would have affected his past.

He'd instead said 'Nova'.

Sam had noticed her as soon as he spoke her name and had apologized and gone off, an odd look on his face.

If James wouldn't talk to Sam, a VA councilor and someone who could relate to his pain and maybe help him carry it, why would he talk to her? Nova knew that she didn't understand what James had gone through. Her own sins were long and diverse, but nothing like James's. What haunted her at night wasn't nearly as painful as what haunted him and she probably could never understand even a fraction of his past.

"Sweetheart," his warm voice pulled her out of her thoughts and Nova blinked back into the present, eyes finding James's. He was crouched before her and the tub was filled behind him. "Time to get in. Wash up and we'll bandage any wounds."

His eyes flickered to her stitches as he spoke and Nova knew he saw the way the stitches has pulled at her skin painfully. The beginning stitch had ripped through her skin and left the area oozing blood. There would be a scar, without a doubt, but it didn't hurt as bad as it should. A bandage would probably help, but James was right. She desperately needed to be clean. The thought of all the blood on her had her starting to rip at her clothes, desperate to be rid of them.

"Hey," James's large hands tried to catch hers, but Nova was quick and avoided his grabby hands, ripping her shirt more than it already was in a desperate attempt to get it off. "Nova!"

The command in his voice made her jump and her hands freeze just long enough for him to catch both wrists in one hand.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he informed her, carefully grabbing her shirt with his free hand. He gently pulled it off of her, letting her wrists go as soon as he was sure that she wasn't going to fight him. She let him undress her, his movements careful and concise. He had her naked in no time and he ushered her into the warm water before she could argue the point, the hiss of pain that left her tongue enough to have his shoulders tightening.

"The water stings," Nova hissed through gritted teeth, body tight as a bow string.

It got easier as her wounds started to adjust, her body relaxing into the warmth. James stayed nearby, perching on the toilet as she softened into the water. Her aching muscles started to let go, the pain slowly leaving her body. Before long, she was as good as jelly, limbs weak and soft. Slowly, she washed all the blood off her skin with soap, scrubbing some spots until they were red and raw. Only James's fingers brushing the abused skin would stop her ministrations and his careful gaze kept watch over her.

She was clean before he said another word, the water running brown and red as she slowly stood, allowing James to wrap her in a towel that was brand new, the cloth soft against her skin.

"You're going to be okay," he murmured, leading her out of the bathroom without clothing. He took her back to the first aid kit, fingers gentle as he bandaged her wounds, spreading antiseptic everywhere, even over the cut on her lip. The bitter taste had her scrunching her nose, but James still smoothed his thumb over her lips before leaning down and gently, oh so gently, pressing his lip against her own. "You're safe here."

"I know," Nova accepted, blinking tiredly at the man before her. Dark circles wove around his eyes and Nova frowned. She hadn't noticed how tired he looked before. His own wounds needed tending and she was letting him coddle her. Because she was weak when it came to combat. She could defend herself, but she didn't like to kill. She didn't like to be close when the bodies fell. She liked being on the other side of the room, the other side of the city. Far away.

"Lay down. You're going to need the rest and we need to get to the Dugan house tomorrow. Otherwise Steve is going to come looking and no one wants that," James urged her back into the bed, pulling the blankets down so that she could curl beneath them.

"You need help," she argued, head falling to the pillow and eyes starting to slide shut already.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, I can take care of my own wounds this time. You sleep. We'll talk about whatever you want when you wake up," were the last words that Nova heard as she drifted into dreams.


	54. Love Definitely Isn't for Children

James snapped awake at the soft sound of a whimper. His eyes immediately scanned the dark room, taking in the empty chairs and the desk in the corner. His hand automatically stretched to the side, searching the bedsheets for Nova. When his fingers didn't immediately find her, he turned to see that she was turned away from him, red hair sticking up in every direction and one arm flailed over the side of the bed. Listening carefully, James sat up when he heard the whimper again. It was unmistakable and it was coming from Nova.

"Nova," James murmured, reaching out and rolling her toward him. Her face turned into the bed and he could see tears glistening along her cheeks. His heart broke a little for the strong woman Nova was, the one from the Tower who was so full of light that she could burst at any moment and burn the world down around her. This woman, the one next to him, was all the broken pieces he hadn't had the chance to see yet. She'd pieced together his broken bits, but had ignored her own. Now they were both paying the price in the middle of the night with nightmares that pulled small whining sobs from her throat.

He didn't want to startle her awake, not when he knew how terrible that could be. Instead, he pulled her closer to him, his skin flush against hers. Nova whimpered and blunt nails scratched at his skin, trying to find purchase. James ignored the feeling, smoothing his hand down her spine and trying to soothe the nightmare out of her. She needed a decent night's sleep just as much as he did and he wanted to give that to her.

"Jamie!" Nova woke up with a shriek, his name breaking through the silence of the bedroom. She bucked against him, flying upright, and James sat up too, shushing her gently.

"Nova, I'm right here. I'm okay," he promised, voice low and soothing. Nova's wide eyes flickered around the room in confusion for a moment before they found him. James kept talking, useless bits of placation that Nova seemed to slowly accept, the rigid muscles starting to soften a little. It was enough that she allowed James to pull her into his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I dreamt they had you again. And you were only not-James and he didn't recognize me and…" Nova babbled, sounding horrified.

"The Asset won't forget you. He doesn't forget unless he's put in the chair and that won't happen," James assured her, wondering what was going on and why he was trying to convince her that the worst sides of him would never forget her. If he'd been asked a few months ago if he'd ever be in a situation like this, he would have hit whoever asked him. But Nova was attached to him. All the pieces of him. It was something he didn't understand. The Asset wasn't a part of him that deserved Nova's affection, but she gave it in spades. In return, the Asset made sure to protect her, even from himself.

"What if they do get you again? What happens then?" she demanded, waking up enough to meet his gaze defiantly. James let his lips tilt into a smile.

"Then I break out and come find you," he informed her, making sure his tone sounded matter-of-fact. He didn't want her questioning that logic because James knew that if he ever did get captured and was taken back to the Asset, the Asset would look for her. James would look for her. The thing he had with Nova wasn't something that he would ever forget, no matter how often they brainwashed him. No matter how many times he was put in the chair, he would always be looking for her again, trying to figure out what was missing.

"Suck up," Nova muttered, wide eyes softening as she came fully into consciousness and the dream started to fade. James let his thumb stroke her cheek, considering kissing her just for the pleasure of it. But he'd promised to let her talk about anything she wanted and he intended to keep that promise. It wasn't like she was going to fall asleep anytime soon. Maybe if she was focused on him talking, she would forget that she was afraid.

"You have questions, don't you?" he asked, leaning against the headboard and waiting for her to start talking. Whatever she wanted to know, he was going to tell her. Because he wanted her to know everything.

"I always have questions. That doesn't mean you have to answer them if it makes you uncomfortable," Nova shrugged a little, looking away. James shook his head, leaning a little to press a gentle kiss into her forehead. He never understood how Nova could think she was annoying to him. Her curiosity was one of the things he loved about her.

"I doubt I'll be uncomfortable. Ask," James pressed, knowing that all of the questions she'd been wanting to ask were stuck in her throat, just waiting to burst free. She was keeping it together for his sake, but he had never before met someone who asked so many questions. Nova was naturally curious, something that impressed James, who preferred to stay with what he knew. Whatever it was she was burning to ask him was probably eating her up inside.

"What was it like in the forties?" Nova asked, voice small like she expected him to immediately deny her. That was an easy question.

"It was a lot like life now. I mean, the internet is super helpful and the food is great now, but people's values haven't really changed. Steve's still trying to save the world and getting beaten up doing it, dates still go dancing, a Stark is attempting to save the world and almost destroying it… It's not that different," James shrugged. From what he remembered people were still fighting to save the world, they just did it in different ways in this new time. Now it was about global warming and polar ice caps instead of a world war. The threat was still there, but it was largely ignored, something James knew well from his childhood. "My favorite difference is that there aren't any food stamps to determine how much food I can get now."

"Food stamps do still exist but it's more like a way to ensure that people who are homeless or have low incomes can continue to feed themselves and their children," Nova explained gently. James nodded thoughtfully.

"If I'd've made it back from the war, I would have probably been a dock worker. Didn't have money for college and Stevie was always so sick that we couldn't really afford much. He would've worked drawing for the newspapers. He went to art school for a bit, before the war broke out. Never was content with what we had," James hummed a little, thinking back to those times. Sure, Steve was sick all the time, but at least he was relatively safe in the confines of their apartment. At some point, Steve would have probably forced him to get married. They were never sure how long Steve would live, so he didn't want to stick a dame with that. Bucky thought it was stupid, but James could see it now. It was a thought that crossed James's mind a lot now. How could he ask any woman, especially Nova, to stay with him how he was? He could hurt her without knowing it. The odd thing was that Steve would be the one to tell him he was being stupid.

"Do you miss it?" Nova asked softly. James thought for a moment, unsure.

"Sometimes. It was an easier time for me, before I went to fight. I'm sad I never got to see my sisters grow up and start their own families. But if I'd lived then, it wouldn't be like I would have imagined it. If we came back from the war, Steve would have still been Captain America. He can't stop fighting now, I doubt he would have been able to back then. And I wouldn't have been able to watch him leave without helping. So at some point, I would probably have died in war anyway," James informed her. Nova frowned deeply, but that wasn't what James was trying to say. He didn't want her sad. "I just mean that I'm kind of happy to be here, with you and Steve and Evangeline. It's better than what I would have imagined for my own future."

"That's a sad way to look at it. You know Steve would never have made you fight. He doesn't now."

"Steve doesn't ask, but he expects. The Bucky he knew… That guy wouldn't let him walk out that door without his backup. I'm not that person anymore. But he still always turns to see if I'm following," James tightened his arm around Nova, wondering if that was what his life was going to be. Was he always going to follow Steve into battle, even when he had the opportunity for a life now? Fighting was never what he wanted to do and he wasn't sure that he would choose that for himself. It had been so long since he'd gotten to rest.

"Volunteering to go overseas kind of doesn't sound like you're looking to run from a fight," Nova teased, tapping his chest with cool fingers.

"Well, I didn't volunteer, if that makes a difference," James muttered, wincing when Nova shot upright.

"What?"

"I didn't volunteer. That was all Stevie. If I went to fight, who was gonna look after that punk?" James felt Bucky trying to rise but shoved the urge down. He wanted these moment with Nova more than he wanted to breathe.

"But Steve always said that you volunteered as soon as it became obvious that the war wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Right after they started drafting guys," Nova started, her eyes meeting his resolutely. James smirked, knowing that being wrong was going to drive her up a wall. Hopefully, though, she would keep it as their secret.

"Steve was so hell bent on going to war and volunteering to fight that I couldn't tell him I was too chicken shit, could I?" James reminded her, sighing. "I got drafted. One of the second waves. I was in good health, had no wife, and was a great candidate. When I went to boot camp, it became obvious I was a great sniper and they desperately needed guys like that over there. So I told Steve I signed on to fight. I couldn't tell him about the draft. It hurt him enough to know that I volunteered and was accepted. No way was I telling him that I didn't want to go over there."

"Not wanting to hurt people isn't something to be ashamed of. Not wanting to put your life on the line, wanting to stay home, safe, isn't something you should hide," Nova rolled so that she was looking him in the eye, braced on his chest. James pet her hair away from her face, wondering what he'd done in his life to get someone like her. "Some people are good at fighting and love it. Take Steve for example. People tease him that he couldn't exist without a war, but look at him. It's his passion. Saving people, stopping bullies, that's what he always did in his life and it was his choice to be Captain America and be injected with the serum. You didn't choose any of this. You didn't even choose to go to the war in the first place, much less get captured and experimented on."

"If I stop fighting, he'll keep going." James had thought about this before. Leaving. It would be easy, especially when Evangeline and Steve weren't in the Tower. He could walk away from it all. But Steve would still do stupid things and who would be there to pick up the pieces?

"Steve has a hundred people at his back now. Not to mention most of the country. He's got the entire ensemble of the Avengers at his beck and call. I don't think he'd hate you for taking it easy and finding a place to call home. You deserve so much more than that," Nova pressed. James sighed. It really wasn't as easy as she made it sound and he knew that. Either way, he desperately wanted to believe her. "I know this might be a sore subject, but are we going to talk about how you feel about Steve at some point?"

"How I feel about Steve?" James asked absently. If he'd been paying attention, the next words out of her mouth wouldn't have made him choke on his own spit.

"Yeah, you know, how you're in love with him?"

James choked on air, coughing while Nova giggled above him. He scowled at her as he calmed down, the burn in his throat tightening his lungs.

"What are you talking about?" James demanded.

"Come on, don't play dumb with me. You took care of him your entire life. You still try to take care of him. Steve is what brought you home. He's what broke your conditioning from HYDRA. I read those files. There was no way that should have happened. Even strong emotional ties like your sisters didn't break your conditioning. Nothing should have. But something else could. Like love," Nova offered, calm and serene. James tensed a little, sure she would be upset. He was with Nova in a bed, naked and they were talking about his feelings for someone else. But she didn't seem bothered.

"It's hard not to love him," James muttered awkwardly, not sure this was what he had in mind when he told her she could ask what she wanted.

"That's what Evie says. I don't see the draw. Either way, you should just admit it to yourself at least. I know it was kind of taboo in the forties, but your feelings are totally cool today. We talked a bit about that when you told me you were bi, remember?" Nova rested her chin on her crossed hands, which were right above his heart.

"I admitted it to myself the day I went to boot camp, sweetheart. But the truth is that Steve was straight as an arrow. And that was fine too. I was happy just to be his best friend," James informed her honestly. Being Steve's best friend had been the highlight of his life when he was young. Before HYDRA and the war, being friends with Steve had been enough.

"And what happened?" Nova asked, blinking curiously.

"Nothing. And everything. Steve knows I'm into fellas as well and doesn't care. But he was always too dense to realize I was into him like that too. Was too hung up on the dames not wanting to dance with him. You'll never believe how many dates I went on trying to find a dame that could see how great he was. In the end, he found Peggy Carter, not me. She was something else. I was happy for him. Missed the little punk I fell in love with, but he changed when he became Captain America. Steve was still there, but he wasn't the same. And then I died. And when I woke up, when I found him again after the conditioning wore off, it was obvious I wasn't the same person. I'll always care of Steve, but I'm not in love with him anymore," James admitted. No, there was someone else who held that part of him now in a vice grip.

"Yet you still follow him." Nova pursed her lips and James tilted his head enough to press his own lips into hers.

"I follow you too," he reminded her. Nova smiled, her lips tilting in amusement. She didn't understand what he was saying and he didn't want to tell her yet. Now wasn't the time either. When they got her to safety, he would tell her. He would. If the whole ordeal with Steve told him anything, it was that he needed to say what he was feeling before it was too late. Now he just had to make sure it was special too.

"Do you think you would have liked me as Bucky if you'd met me in the forties?" Nova asked, curiosity obviously getting the better of her. James didn't like this question. But he would answer honestly because he never wanted to have to lie to her.

"Bucky probably wouldn't have noticed you in a romantic way. If you met and were openly working on the projects you are now, he would have been intrigued, but in a purely curious way. I doubt he would have looked your way twice," James trailed off, hating himself a little for that confession.

"Don't look so upset. Bucky loves me now," Nova informed him offhandedly, laughing at her own joke. She didn't know how right she was.

"Sam once said he thought that my personalities had my memories, they were just repressed. It's possible that the other parts of me are drawn to you because I am," James offered. He didn't like to talk to Sam because Sam would report back to Steve. But he had listened to Sam talk a few times. He was a competent psychologist, much better than the people Steve sent him to. No matter how much shit James gave Sam, he owed him. Not only had Sam helped bring James in, but he was also someone Steve could look to if he needed help and wasn't comfortable bringing the problem to James. And James was thankful Steve had people like that.

"I think I probably wouldn't have been impressed back then either. Mostly because everyone says you were a ladies' man and I don't really go for guys who have women all around them. Tried that once and it didn't go so well," Nova shuddered and James smoothed a hand down his back.

He would learn more about that later, when he had time to get the payback Nova so obviously deserved.

"Well, be glad I don't attract women with the serial killer look," James joked. Nova burst out with a surprised giggle, obviously not having expected his teasing.

"You made a joke! And sounded way too much like me. Don't let Steve hear that, he'll think I'm a bad influence. Oh, wait, he already does. Shit, he may be right!" Nova kept laughing as James shook his head in amusement. Steve definitely thought Nova was a bad influence. But he was wrong. Nova was the best influence in James's life. She let him be who he wanted to be and there was no pressure to fit into the past. When he was with Nova, he felt at peace, something he couldn't get anywhere else. It was addictive.

"I promise not to tell Steve if you won't," James nodded, affirming his statement.

"I pinky promise I won't tell him," Nova held up her pinky and wiggled it. James carefully wrapped his metal pinky around Nova's frail human one and shook. "Awesome. So, I have so many more questions. None as heavy as that though."

"Good. Ask away."

"Okay, so, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"


	55. Making an Entrance

Wet kisses pressed up Nova's back as James worked his way over her, dropping onto her without so much as a warning. Nova groaned, sore in all the best ways. Twenty questions had led to sex questions and sex questions led to… well, sex. Not that she was complaining. It wasn't like Nova would say no to the hulking mess on top of her. He was everything she wanted and more. The best sort of man.

"Jamie, you're suffocating me," Nova whined as he shifted positions.

"Comfortable," he sighed into her hair.

"We have to go before Steve comes pounding down here and gives away the location of the safe house and any other safe house in a hundred mile radius," Nova reminded him. James groaned in annoyance, biting her shoulder hard enough to pull a yelp from her lips before he was pushing up and off of her.

"How far is it until we're at your house?" James asked, moving to the bathroom. Their shower about half an hour ago had been interrupted by Nova's own wandering hands, though they were both clean. No way was Nova showing up at her parents' house reeking of sex. That would be way too embarrassing. As far as her parents were concerned, Nova had never had sex and wasn't interested in ever having it in her life. It was safer for everyone if her family thought she was a virgin.

"About four hours. Not too long if you get your ass moving," Nova hollered after him. He stuck his head out the door of the bathroom, long hair sticking in every direction with a tooth brush between his lips. The soap foam of the toothpaste dribbled on his chin and he didn't look the least bit impressed. He disappeared for a moment before peeking back out.

"You're the one still in bed, sweetheart."

Shoving off the bed, Nova fell to the floor with an uncoordinated thump. James snorted when he looked down at her, teeth all clean. He was dressed in a pair of low riding jeans and the same shirt from yesterday, which was blood stained and ripped. With his warm expression, it was a hysterical picture. Nova wished she had a camera to capture that look in his eyes. Soft and warm, the blue was deep and never ending this morning. He reached down and captured her hand, drawing her to her feet with one smooth motion that pulled at all her sore muscles.

"Get dressed. We should be able to stop and grab coffee and still make it before noon," James offered. Nova groaned.

"Coffee…" she zombie walked to the bathroom, ready in under five minutes. As she tugged her hair into a knot on the top of her head, she came out to see that James had everything packed. Their meager belongings. They'd run out of clothing and everything they owned was ripped and bloody. Such a good picture to make when they got to the house.

Nova skipped over to James and pulled him down for a kiss, lips pressing against his firmly. He tasted like mint tooth paste and Nova knew that she did too. Underneath was all James and Nova appreciated that too, nipping at his bottom lip as she pulled away. James palmed her ass, squeezing gently.

"If you start something like that, we'll never make it in time," James teased.

"We have to go, sorry, Jamie. No play time," Nova smirked up at him and James let her go to grab the bags from the ground. They were going to have to get another car, this one Maggie's. She would be happy to see it, though she probably wouldn't be as ecstatic that they'd actually had to use it. Maggie was protective of those she loved and Nova knew she'd never hear the end of this adventure. Everyone would say that they should have made contact, but going dark meant no contact for safety reasons. Apparently no one else listened to Uncle Nick's lessons on subterfuge.

"Later. Definitely later," James muttered as Nova wrapped herself in her coat. She laughed.

They were in the car a few minutes later, all bundled up with the heat on. Snow was blowing and Nova kept both hands firmly on the wheel. James's hand never strayed from her knee, though she was aware that he was still watching any car that passed them for suspicious activity. They probably wouldn't be able to see an enemy before it hit them in the face with this snow, but Nova was used to driving in shitty weather. Snow was kind of a given up in Maine and it wasn't like they were going South. They were driving head on into it.

"Do you think I'll get grounded for this?" Nova asked suddenly, just to keep her mind off of what could happen. They could be attacked. They could crash. The car could careen off the road into the ditch and they'd never be heard from again. No one would know where to look for them. What if they were lost like Steve?

"Didn't you say that they would try to keep you in the house no matter what happens? You made it sound like no one wants you to go back to the Tower," James reminded her. Oh, yeah, they were in Maine, not the Arctic. And someone did find Steve… just seventy years later.

"Yeah, they're like that. My brothers were never keen on my work with Tony, they think he's too devil may care to take good care of me. They don't know him like I do though. Tony would never let anything happen to me, he'd die first. Not that I'd let him, but the sentiment is there. All anyone seems to see of Tony is the bad side. They don't realize most of the bad he's done either isn't his fault or was meant to save the world," Nova complained. James laughed.

"I really don't think bringing up that robot thing would help your case," he noted.

"Probably not. But Ultron was really meant to help the world, not destroy it. Of course, ten minutes on the internet and I'd want to destroy the world too, so you can't blame the monster for thinking humans were scum. We kind of are. You know, in the best way," Nova winced, giggling a little. James just snorted.

"Humans are capable of terrible things. But they're also capable of good things. And a lot of people forget that. We deserve the chance to figure that out all on our own," James hummed.

"Did you just paraphrase Thor at me?" Nova teased, glancing at James out of the corner of her eye.

"Thor is a good man," James hedged, shrugging.

"So, you're good with Thor and Natasha. Who else in the Avengers do you get along with?" Nova demanded, tapping her fingers against the steering wheel nervously. Being out this long was throwing her anxiety for a loop. Especially with Ward out there. Whatever Ward was doing, Nova was worried about it. And the snow and being late to Christmas wasn't helping.

"Natalia and I have known one another for a long time. I trained her," James informed her. Nova hit the brakes, the car skidding a little before coming to a complete stop. Nova threw it into Park, twisting in her seat before she was even sure she was in a good spot, eyes wide and shocked.

"You did what now?" Nova shrieked, horrified. She'd read his file. He hadn't been anywhere near the Red Room. And she'd read Natasha's file. HYDRA and the Red Room were complete bastards who deserved to die slow, painful deaths. But they never crossed on paper. James never lied, but… but…

"It's not that surprising. I was brought into the Black Widow program as an instructor. Natalia and I trained together and went on missions together often. I think she called me Yasha, if I remember right. I didn't have a name, so she gave me one. We were intimate for a while, before our handlers found out. She was the best candidate for the Black Widow title and I chose her," James shrugged like that wasn't a surprise or confusing. Now didn't know what to say, just staring at him in shock for a while. "We have an understanding now. We don't bring up the past."

"But Natasha is, like, twenty-eight," Nova pointed out.

"She was given a diluted serum like Steve's. It slows her aging to almost a stop. No one knows how old Natalia Romanova was when she was brought into the program, but it's been said that she might be older than Steve and I. All I know is that Natalia wouldn't want me to be telling you this," James stopped talking, frowning tightly.

"I'm not going to say anything. I just wasn't expecting that. Did you train a lot of people?" Nova asked, reaching out to squeeze his hand and take his mind off of whatever he was thinking that made him frown like that.

"I trained a lot of small spiders. Some of them were really young. Some of them… some I killed under orders," James hung his head a little and Nova pulled his chin around so she could press her lips against his in a reassuring kiss. It also grounded him to her instead of the memories. No need to show up at the Dugan house with not-James.

"That wasn't your fault. Whatever they made you do, that's on HYDRA and the Red Room. Neither you nor Natasha deserved what they did to you," Nova reminded him, pulling back to put the car in gear and start driving again. "The blood of the people who died is on HYDRA's hands. All of them. You would have never hurt them on your own."

"You don't know that," James denied, though his head came up so he could eye her.

"I do too. Steve talked about you a hell of a lot before you came in. You should have heard him bitching on comms. Apparently he thought Evie was his therapist as well as his communication's specialist. We heard all about Bucky Barnes, best friend of Steve Rogers. It was an official title. We called you the BFF when we talked about it later. If you hadn't been taken by HYDRA, you would have never killed those people. You weren't a vigilante and didn't believe in justice like that. Hell, you told me you didn't even want to be in war. Why would you willingly hurt someone then?" Nova chattered at him, annoyed that he thought the death of little girls the Red Room had killed were on his hands. No, it wasn't his fault. And she would blow up anyone who said it was.

"Natalia has the same thoughts I do. Do you think she's at fault?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course not. I might not particularly like her, but I don't think that she's a bad person. If she's really who you say she is, then she'd been manipulated and lied to just as long as you have and that's not on her head. Whatever happened is the Red Room's fault, not Natasha's. But I doubt she'll want to hear that from me," Nova reminded him. James shrugged both shoulders, laying his hand against her thigh again. This time it was higher and Nova had to fight the urge to shoot him a flirtatious look. This was not the time to flirt.

"Why don't you two get along?"

"Honestly, I was really jealous of her at first. I mean, Evie was best friends with her suddenly and I wasn't allowed to know where my best friend went while I was shuffled off to the ass end of Maine. Everyone knows I love Evie like a sister, but that doesn't mean that I'm super cool with her being BFFs with someone else. Maybe I'm a jealous person, but I kind of hate it. Which means I take it out on Natasha a bit even when I don't try. But you have to admit that she's not really making an effort to be friends with me either," Nova complained, poking James's arm pointedly.

"I do agree. I think the two of you would get along well if you could get past that," James allowed.

"I think that's a world we don't live in, buster. I bet Maggie gets along with Natasha like a house on fire, though," Nova informed him, turning on a well concealed road. James braced himself like she was off-roading it, but Nova kept going smoothly. The road was a Dugan family secret and she knew the snow would fill their tracks in less than an hour. From here on out, they were on Dugan land. Not that she was going to tell James that. She wanted to see if he noticed they were being watched.

"Why?" James demanded.

"Because, Maggie idolizes Natasha. Has since she saw her take down Brock Rumlow. It was a good day. No one liked that douche canoe. Anyway, Maggie was a specialist and everyone who was anyone had heard about Strike Team: Delta. They never have an extraction plan and they never fail a mission. That was the ideal back during Maggie's training. She kind of idolized them both until she met Clint. Then she was focused on Natasha. Maggie can do her little deadly thigh hold. It's terrifying," Nova informed him, turning on another road deftly. This one wasn't as smooth and James was suddenly on alert, gun in hand and the fingers on her thigh tightening dangerously.

"Clint Barton is a good man. Why doesn't she like him?" James was too busy staring out the window to see Nova's roll of the eye.

"She loves Clint. They're good friends. But meeting him put a damper on the legend, you know? Clint's awesome, it's just that he's kind of derpy sometimes too. Like when he ran into that wall last week while training. Or how about when he dropped the coffee pot because he saw a bird and it startled him?" Nova offered, steering to the driveway.

"We're being watched," James blurted, gun jumping up.

"Wait!" Nova squeaked, throwing out a hand to grab his arm so he didn't take aim. James turned to her but it was too late. The wheels slid and the car careened to the side. A strong arm grabbed her and Nova braced herself for impact as the world seemed to slow around her. Spinning in a circle, the car slid off the driveway, slamming to a stop…

Right in a snowbank.

Nova's body was held against her seat and the momentum shoved both her and the arm holding her forward a few inches. A loud thump from the other side of the car was the only noise as they suddenly stopped.

The world shifted into motion again.

"Jamie!" Nova screamed, pushing James's arm off her chest. He groaned as she spun in her seat, coughing as the air hit her lungs. The band where his arm had been hurt, but Nova ignored it to see that James must have hit the dash because his airbag had deployed. A little trickle of blood was running out of his nose, but he sat up as soon as she said his name, turning to eye her in concern.

"Are you okay?" he demanded.

"Am I okay?! Holy shit, are you okay?" Nova shrieked. James groaned before laughing, little snorts turning into full out laughter.

"The airbag can kill you," he informed her through his laughter. Nova started to soften, rubbing a hand along her chest where James's arm had pressed against her painfully. He's stopped her momentum with force of will alone and she started to giggle with him.

"Ronald Billius Weasley, you're an idiot," Nova snorted.

"I don't care, as long as you're okay," James sighed and Nova moved in her seat to press her lips to his.

They'd definitely made an entrance.


	56. Home Sweet Home

James wrapped an arm around Nova's waist, helping her step through the snow that was up past her knees. He held the presents they'd bought the day before as well as her, her laughter ringing over the yard they were attempting to cross. Nova hadn't stopped laughing after figuring out he had stopped her from hitting her airbag, which could have killed her. James hadn't stopped chuckling either. Because they were alive and safe and here, where they were supposed to be.

"Mama's gonna kill us," Nova snorted, throwing her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his for a moment. She let go right after that. "Oh, wait, we're still kind of a secret. I mean, Evie and Steve know. I'm sure the Avengers know. But my family doesn't. How do you tell them something like that?"

"Maybe with words," James teased, laughing when Nova shot him a dirty look and flipped him off, falling into the snow when she let him go. He stooped to scoop her up, snow and all, almost toppling himself from dizziness. He'd obviously hit his head harder than he'd thought, but that was fine. Nova was safe and she wasn't hurt. It was his fault they'd run into that snowbank anyway. He was just happy it hadn't been worse than it was. He didn't know what he would do if Nova got hurt again because of him.

"You're an asshole," Nova informed him in mock seriousness, letting him pull her to her feet with an arm around her back. Her lip was bleeding again and James shook his head a little, tripping toward the house. He got her to the front step when the door burst open and Steve stepped onto the porch, staring down at them like they were two teenagers caught home after curfew. Evangeline came out immediately after him and the smile on her lips was at complete odds with the dark look in Steve's eyes.

"It's about time you got here. You're late," Evangeline announced. James wrapped his arm tighter around Nova when she started giggling hysterically, almost collapsing into the snow again. James let out a couple snorts, fighting off the laughter that was bubbling again. Steve obviously wasn't as amused as they were.

"I never thought I'd see the day that Bucky Barnes looked at a woman like that," a warm voice announced. James's head snapped up, a memory assaulting him.

It was nineteen forty-four and they were camped in France about thirty miles out of a HYDRA factory. Bucky was seated on a log by the fire, the wind burning his nose and his hands held out toward the fire to get some feeling back into his fingers.

"Here you go, drink up. It'll put some hair on your chest and fire in your blood," the same voice, lighter and younger, ordered him. Bucky took the drink from a grinning Dum Dum Dugan, his signature bowler's hat still on his head. He didn't look any colder than he had in the middle of the summer and Bucky jokingly cursed him out before taking another burning gulp of the alcohol. Dum Dum always had the best alcohol.

"Jamie, meet my grandpa, Dum Dum Dugan. I know you've met already, but I feel like you're a new person now, so you need to re-meet one another. Besides, I bet he looks a lot different than you remember him, right?" Nova's voice brought him back and James stared at the elderly man hobbling onto the porch before him. The same twinkling blue eyes, the same easy going grin, the same long mustache, though it was grey now. His large body was stooped and thinner than James remembered, but James could still see his friend in the elderly man.

"You got old," James blurted, blinking in surprise as the words burst from his lips. Nova giggled, stifling her laugh in his chest. James let her, ignoring the look that Evangeline sent him. He was sure he would hear about it later.

"You didn't. Come on in, kids. Your ma is waiting to tan your hide, Nova," Dum Dum told them. James lifted Nova up onto the porch easily, taking the steps in one move. Steve waited until they were in the house to follow and James made sure to put himself between Steve and Nova, still unsure if he could trust Steve with her. He wanted to but…

"I'm not even that late!" Nova complained, kicking off her boots in the main hallway. James copied the movement out of respect, noting that Evangeline did the same. "It's not even my fault we got followed. You should be happy I noticed and didn't lead those assholes here. I did my best and I can't believe that everyone is upset. I feel so attacked right now!"

"You can set the bags here. We'll get them to Nova's room," Evangeline motioned to a little closet and James carefully set the presents inside it, wondering if he should tell them not to look in it. Evangeline probably wouldn't but Steve never did know how to keep his curiosity to himself. Nova was almost tame compared to Steve.

"Nova Clarissa Maddox, where have you been?!" a firm voice yelled. James dropped the bags and slipped into the room Nova had entered, knife palmed. He walked in on a scene that would have calmed anyone else down. Instead, James tensed rapidly.

Nova was wrapped in the arms of a man who was holding her tightly while her ma, Mags, was scowling deeply at her. It became obvious as the man let her go, that this was Nova's father. James realized it as he took in the greying hair, small smile on his lips, and the nose that was identical to Nova's. She also had her father's wild hair, though his was brown instead of red.

"It's good to have you home, Nova. We're happy your safe. Now, why don't we call everyone in and you can tell us what happened?" the man herded Nova over to a couch, sitting her down and pulling a blanket around her shoulders. Nova's eyes flickered around the room until they landed on him, her hand twitching as if she wanted to reach for him. James moved closer, until he was hovering behind Nova instead of standing in the doorway. If he sat down, he wouldn't be able to defend her as quickly. James had seen Mags Maddox at work. She was a whirlwind and faster than anyone would give her credit for. He wasn't going to underestimate her or her family.

"Fine. But James gets jumpy when there are a lot of trained people around," Nova informed everyone. James felt his fingers tighten around the hilt of his weapon. Yes, jumpy was a good word.

Moments later the room was filled with people. James could recognize most of them. Dum Dum Dugan was one, sitting on the couch next to Nova with a comforting hand on her knee as he handed her a steaming cup of coffee. It looked like the same sludge he'd made during the war and James almost winced when Nova took a long pull as if it was ambrosia instead of coffee she had to chew to get down.

Evangeline took Nova's other side and Steve stood behind her. He didn't come too close to James, which he appreciated. If James had to shove Steve out of the way to fight, he would, but it wouldn't be something that would be fun. Nova's siblings were next. James recognized all three of them from the infiltration of the HYDRA base that Evangeline was held in. Maggie, her sister, leaned over to give her a tight hug and James heard her whisper in her ear, "Welcome home."

The brothers just moved to sit opposite Nova, an odd woman with them. James deduced that it was her eldest brother's wife by the way they sat near one another. Really close, but not yet touching. Clint and Natasha walked in soon after, eyeing the room curiously. Natasha moved to sit at Evangeline's feet, making sure she was close enough to Nova to help him. The significant look she sent him let him know she was ready to help if a fight broke out. He appreciated her help more than she knew. Clint perched in a chair, fiddling with a small crossbow on his arm. He was in a prime spot for targeting.

Two other women walked in moments later.

"Sharon! Renee!" Nova cried, waving at the women. James tensed, knowing that Sharon had hurt Steve. She'd broken the trust he'd placed in her and James wasn't going to let that go even if Nova liked her a lot. They were friends and had been for longer than Steve had known Sharon, but that didn't change the betrayal.

Tony was the last to come in.

"Let's get this show on the road before I decide that bionic boy over there and I need to have a chat with the suit on," Tony glared pointedly at James, who snarled, lip curling.

"Hey now, no starting fights you have no hope of winning. Now, pop a squat and let me start," Nova motioned to the floor, but Tony took the other chair. Nova's parents were by the fire place, which was roaring with flames. It warmed the room and kept the cold water melting in his socks from effecting James's stance. Soon he would need to change to avoid hypothermia but now he needed to protect Nova. "So, James and I left the Tower and started driving. Not too far out we realized we were being followed. So, we deployed counter measures."

"Counter measures?" Maggie snorted, coughing into her hand when Nova shot her a dirty look.

"Counter measures. James got his guns out and I tried to lose them. Not as easy as it sounds, actually. They were trained. Badly, but trained. James couldn't get a line on them, so we used the electromagnet. It's a great feature, Tony, I say put it in all the cars. Mostly because it worked. Accept they kind of broke my car and I might need an upgrade. That impenetrable glass you promised wasn't as impenetrable as I thought it would be," Nova complained. James half smiled as he rolled his eyes. Of course that was what she was worried about. Not that she'd been hurt. Not that they'd almost died. But that her car was broken. "Anyway, so the glass imploded as the EMP went off and that was kind of painful. But we got away and called you guys to explain what happened."

"You could have given us more information. I would have come and gotten you if you hadn't called black out conditions," Tony interrupted. James scowled at the man, but he wasn't paying any attention to James.

"I called for comms down because we needed to make sure we were off the grid. If someone was tracking us, we had to get away from them. You know that leading them here wasn't an option. Sorry, but a quin jet isn't that inconspicuous," Nova huffed out in annoyance. James reached over to press his hand into her shoulder, squeezing gently to remind her where she was and who she was talking to. She would be upset later if she hurt Tony's feelings just because she was keyed up on adrenaline. She took another long pull of the sludge in her cup, relaxing only slightly before continuing. "Anyway, we got to the safe house, Jamie stitched me up, and we slept for a bit."

"Stitched you up?" Maggie demanded, sitting upright.

"Are you hurt?" Mags walked over and Nova shrugged, wincing a little as she did. James tensed but didn't stop her mother from checking her over. They even lifted her shirt to get a better look, Maggie suddenly right there.

"It was just some glass. Nothing too bad. And James actually seems to know what he's doing when it comes to first aid," Nova teased, sending him a wink over her shoulder. James snorted. Yeah, he knew how to stitch someone up. Mostly because he'd done it to himself so many times. That and the little spiders he'd helped train. He'd never had to give Steve stitches when they were young, Steve's ma took care of that. She was the nurse, not James. And James wasn't fond of hurting other people like that. Nova had obviously been hurt when he'd been stitching up her wounds.

"Why don't we have Renee take a look after you finish explaining what happened?" Mags offered. She was staring at the dark bruises that were blooming along Nova's ribs and James didn't blame her in the least. The bruises looked deadly. James knew they were just bruises but didn't argue. Having a medical professional look at Nova wasn't the worst idea in the world.

"I'm fine, really. Anyway, so we left the next day and were followed again. But this time, they weren't looking to follow us here," Nova hummed, glancing sideways at James. He knew she was debating what all to tell them. If she should tell them about him shifting into the Asset and if she should mention Ward's warning. James personally hoped she told it all. It was in her family's best interest to be prepared for what might be coming. And James wasn't stupid. The Asset was the one best equipped to take care of Nova. Because he had no qualms about killing and would do whatever it took to save her.

"What were they trying to do?" her brother, must have been Jas, asked. He was leaning forward, eyes dark as he took in his sister. James was fairly certain that the protective instinct was mirrored in her other brother's eyes as he held his wife's hand tightly, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Kill us. What else would they be trying to do?" Nova asked, rolling her eyes. "But James, or more specifically his alter ego not-James, took care of all that. We don't need to worry about them anymore."

James felt every eye in the room zoom in on him. He reached out and set his human hand on Nova's shoulder, grounding himself. They were all trained to kill and he was now the prime focus. Not that he was going to let anything happen here. They were trained, yes, but they weren't trained like he was.

"Grant showed up," Nova blurted, reaching up to grip his hand tightly with her own. Her thin fingers were surprisingly strong and James squeezed gently. Grant Ward wasn't going to hurt anyone ever again if James had any say in it. He'd already left Evangeline to die, James wasn't going to let him hurt any of the women he cared about.

"Grant Ward?" Mags clarified, standing up and looming over Nova. Her hands were on her hips and she looked dangerous in a way that made even James wary.

"Yeah," Nova confirmed. Evangeline tensed next to Nova and Steve was right there, hands holding hers.

"You need us to go hunting? I bet Barnes would love to come with," Clint Barton offered, eagle eyes on Nova. Nova smiled just a little, knowing that he was serious. James realized it too. For whatever reason, Clint liked Nova's family. He didn't know the full story, obviously, but something had happened that meant Clint was just as intent on saving Nova's family as he was. James would go hunting with Clint if he could. It would be his pleasure. The other man was a remarkable shot and James knew they would win it all from the shadows if they had to.

"Grant claims he didn't give out the order. That HYDRA is behind it, but not under his directive. He came to… to warn me. That someone is coming. He doesn't want us to be caught off guard. He said that we have our uses and he wants us alive," Nova informed them, shivering lightly, James let his other hand fall to her shoulder, bracketing her in. Grant Ward wasn't going to get her here. James wouldn't let him.

"Did he happen to know who it is so we can stop them?" Jas snapped, crossing his arms petulantly.

"He doesn't know. All he knows is that they need to be stopped. One of his people kind of beat me up," Nova informed them, motioning to her face. "He just killed her. Right in front of me. Said that he couldn't leave any witnesses and then killed the other guy he brought with."

"Oh, honey," her father started to take a step closer, eyes warm and soft.

"It freaked me out. That wasn't the Grant Ward we knew. What happened to him?" Nova demanded. "You guys have been looking into him, I know you have. You have to have an idea of what went wrong."

"Grant Ward was put under the directive of a man named John Garrett," Maggie started, leaning against her sister's leg. James kept an eye on her but knew she wouldn't hurt Nova. Maggie was someone Nova looked up to. She was her older sister. James remembered how his youngest sister looked up to her older sisters. Nova was like that when she looked at her siblings.

"Ew. John Garrett used to give me the major creeps," Evangeline spoke, taking Nova's other hand. James glanced at Steve, whose jaw was clenched tightly. The muscle in the corner ticked as he fought not to grind his teeth in frustration. James knew why he was upset. He'd missed out on the hunt. Nova's family was looking for Ward to get even and Steve had been away and unable to help. Maybe even unwilling for a little while. Now he had to hear about it all second hand and he hadn't realized how much it would bother him until now. James would have told him that he'd be upset later if he left, but he hadn't asked.

"That's because he was HYDRA. Ward was brought in under his directive. You knew him before the HYDRA conditioning really took hold. He was still Grant Ward: Specialist instead of Grant Ward: HYDRA Lackey. Because of his life before SHIELD and his brainwashing through Garrett, Ward went a little insane. He attacked his own team and almost killed two members. He gave them a fighting chance but the stupid container they were in didn't float like it was supposed to and one of the members ended up with brain damage. He's not the guy you knew at the Academy. This man is insane and will probably get you both killed," Maggie continued.

"We really don't plan on meeting him ever again. Unless, of course, he wants to die," Nova offered, shrugging dismissively. James felt the shudder that ran through her though. She might think she wanted Grant Ward dead, but that wasn't the full truth. Really, she just wanted him out of her life. Nova didn't want anyone dead in the same way James did. If Grant Ward crossed his path again, he was putting a bullet through him.

"His death is being arranged," Natalia murmured from the other side of the couch, a wicked knife flicking through her fingers. James raised an eyebrow, but didn't argue. If Natalia killed him, he would be just as dead.

"You were at my house," Maggie offered, pushing the story along. Everyone in the room turned to stare at her. "What?"

"You knew where they were and didn't tell us?" Mags demanded, not sounding amused.

"Well, yeah. Comms were dark. I didn't want to lead anyone to their location. Nova just tripped one of my wires. I turned off the cameras and everything, so you really were dark after I realized what you were up to. I hope you didn't get blood on the sheets. That's a bitch to get out if you know what I mean," Maggie teased, not sounding the least bit upset that they'd stayed in her home. James hadn't realized it was hers.

"Sorry, I just needed somewhere that I knew," Nova offered, sending her sister a small smile. Maggie just shrugged.

"It's cool, little sister. I'm just happy to have you back. And hoping that the car stuck at the end of the drive isn't mine," she shot Nova a mock glare at this and Nova snorted.

"Definitely your car. Sorry about that too. That was Jamie's fault. Oh, yeah, Jamie, this is Maggie, my sister. That's Jas, my brother, and that's my other brother Alex. His wife is sitting next to him, Lauren. If you need help with computers, she's your girl. And that's Mama and Dad and that's my grandpa, who you know. Where are the kiddos?" Nova turned to Maggie, who had a daughter, if James remembered right.

"They're in the play room. We weren't sure what we'd see when you two came in, so we didn't tell them you were home yet. Good thing too. You're both covered in blood," Maggie informed them. James knew that he had some blood on his face, but he didn't look nearly as bad as Nova, who didn't have any clothing left that didn't have blood on it. She'd put on the best shirt she could find but the jeans she was wearing were ruined. The dried blood probably wasn't comfortable, but those were the only pants she had.

"We should clean up before we go see them. I bet they'll love meeting you, Jamie. You're Pippa's favorite Howling Commando. That kid has good taste, you two did good," Nova shot her brother and his wife a thumbs up, which both laughed at.

"Thanks, Nova. It's good to have you home," Lauren announced, looking every bit the Dugan as she sat there. Composed and serious, with a little spark of humor in her gaze. No wonder Nova's brother had chosen her, it was obvious she was going to be good in a crisis. James immediately liked her and wondered if Nova got along with her well.

"Sharon, Renee, this is Jamie. I told you a bit about him. Renee is going to help us with your arm when we're cleaned up. If you're cool with it," Nova shrugged a little, motioning to the two women by the wall. Sharon sent him a small smile and James felt Steve tense next to him. Sharon Carter, Peggy's niece and the woman who had broken Steve's heart. Nova was good friends with her. Renee Falsworth, medical expert. She was going to help James with his arm and hopeful make it stop hurting. She'd been the one to administer emergency treatment to Evangeline and had saved her life. James would forever be grateful for that.

"Go get cleaned up and I'll look you over. Then we can look at James. I'm sure he needs some medical attention too," Renee waved them off with the authority of a doctor. Nova got to her feet slowly, obviously still in pain. James was around the couch in a moment, helping her walk out. He could feel eyes on them but ignored it. He wasn't going to let Nova hurt herself when he could stop it and he wasn't about to let her out of his sight.


End file.
